Teachers have to say that there is no such thing as a stupid question...because they're paid to say that.
A popular Reddit thread asked teachers about "the most awkward/cringeworthy questions" they were asked in the most awkward/cringeworthy class of them all: sexual education.
Both teachers and students spilled tea on their days talking about the birds and the bees. Kids both know too little and too much.
1. Checks out.
We had a girl in our class ask our science teacher when did she lose her virginity, she answered "when I first had sex." -iantoevans06
2. Ouch.
Once asked the question to a group of Year 9 students: “what do you do if you want to have sex and you can’t find a condom?”
Student 1 (Male): Surely you can find something in your house?! Maybe cling film?
Student 2 (Female): Yeah! Or maybe tinfoil!
F*cking TIN FOIL! -Gandiddyalf
3. She learned from experience.
I teach fifth grade. This is the time for the “big talk” in Indiana.
I was roughly about 7 months pregnant. I was unmarried but engaged. My fiancé was a pretty active participant in my classroom so all the kids knew him. He came on the field trip due to not having a male teacher available to go to supervise the boys.
In Indiana, we still teach abstinence only. In the middle of the lesson, the instructor basically tells the kids that conception takes place after sex which can only happen after marriage.
Thirty seconds later, eyes are on me, and a hand shoots up. One of my fabulous tiny humans blurts out, “That can’t be true! Mrs. __________ isn’t married and she is pregnant right now! How did that happen then?!?”
I’m pretty sure the instructor would have killed me in that moment had she been able to.
And this was my TED talk on how I ruined the abstinence education by being pregnant and unmarried.... -AndThenThereIsJess
4. Is this why people hate public restrooms?
One of the girls in my class thought that she would become pregnant if she shared a toilet with a boy. She was 15. -Kitsunemon
5. Quite the opener.
[I'm] a 7th grade classroom teacher.
I had one boy ask me, "Mr. XXXX, you know boobs, right?" as he cupped his hands in front of his chest.
I nodded.
"I'm sorry, I know this is a bad word," he said, "but I dont know any other way to say it. Are boobs ... full of cum?" -AyneldjaMama
6. Her students have been doing the research.
I'm a teacher in year 6 (10+11yr olds) in the UK. It's the first year that children really learn and talk about sex in school.
We had arrived at the actual sexual intercourse lesson where we focus on the science of conception. One boy out his hand up and said that there were, of course, (sounding worldy wise), ways of having sex without getting pregnant. I nodded approvingly as I thought we were going to start talking about contraception. "Yes," he says, "you can stick your penis between a woman's breasts and then cum on her chest"....
I suppose he isn't wrong. Hard to get pregnant like that. Took me by surprise though! -Andyloners
7. I know you are, but what am I?
Omg I’ll never forget a question a girl asked in my sex ed class. Probably 7th grade.
Girl: Does pee ever come out instead of semen when a man ejaculates?
Teacher: No, when a man ejaculates it is only semen.
Girl: Okay, but what if pee came out instead of semen?
Teacher: That’s not physically possible, as it’s a separate system with urine vs. semen.
Girl: But what if it happened?
Teacher: It can’t happen.
Girl: ...but what if it did? -gunterzwei
8. F is for Fun.
5th grade sex ed:
Student: Why does my mom scream during sex?
Teacher: She’s having fun. -MikeMana
9. The student has become the master.
A kid in my class asked what is the stuff that girls orgasm out if males is sperm. Teacher said that girls don't ejaculate. The kid responded no they do I've seen it on the internet. -Beatleborg22
10. The '70s were a dangerous time.
We had notecards and wrote questions anonymously. One asked-
"If both partners have long pubes, will they get tangled? How do you untangle them?"
And honestly, I never thought of that. -meowddie2
11. The erection is normal, the announcement is not.
I teach 11-13 year olds. All subjects.
I was explaining the functions of spontaneous erection to a group of 40 twelve year old boys.
"As you develop, and even into your adulthood, you will sometimes develop an erection at times that seem inappropriate. Just know that it's normal and while it can be embarrassing, it does not necessarily mean that you are sexually attracted to anything or anyone at that time".
Boy in the front row with his hand up: "I have an erection right now, is that normal?" -psnWaikato
12. Awkward time for pillow talk.
Not a teacher, but way back in Grade 6 we had Sex-ed and the teacher had us write down questions on paper one day. She told us not to put our names because the next day we will be drawing the questions out of a hat to read aloud and then the teacher would answer them.
So, the next day, and my turn comes up to draw a question. I pull the paper out of the hat and begin reading "Can women masturbate with a pillow between their legs? signed (a female classmate's name)".
Woops. Shouldn't have read that part. -RecharginMyLaza
13. Adults have this question, too.
“Does the vagina stay giant after a baby?” -imbaby1210
14. An interesting strategy for teaching abstinence.
In my 8th grade health class the female teacher (About 50 and very obese) was asked what does butt sex feel like. She described it as taking a very large slightly uncomfortable dump. -boshimonos1
15. Everything should have a snack break.
"Do you have twins if you put the penis in twice?" "Are there snack breaks during sex?" "Will I wake my parents when the hymen explodes" "Does Sex hurt more than a car accident, or less? Just so I can prepare myself. " -schottenring
16. There's a fetish for that.
I had my Sex-Ed class in 9th grade, and at the end of the 2 hour session on the day we were talking about STDs. One of the boys in the room asks “Well if condoms don’t fully protect you, can I just wear a full latex body suit?” Still the funniest sh*t I’ve heard in school. -Cam1339
17. A joke worth getting fired over.
In my son's sex ed class (14 year olds) one of the boys asked "if you can get scented condoms can you get scented dildos."
I wish the teacher had said "ask your mum." -Beanieboru