Mornings are all fun and games until you have to actually get out of bed. Procrastinate just a little longer and enjoy these hilariously random memes. They are pretty much guaranteed to crack you up. Your morning routine just got a whole lot funnier.
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After walking into the class and seeing a substitute and a lesson plan that's just a movie or snow days/weather-related school cancellations, field trips are the best day of the year.
Depending on where you live, though, sometimes the options for educational adventures can be pretty sparse. Teachers and school officials are forced to get creative when all the nearby towns offer are just one aquarium, an art museum or worse--just strip malls and chain restaurants for miles.
While we all remember our own school field trips and accept them as the norm, there are probably a lot of weird excursions you haven't heard of. When Twitter user, @yslorent asked the internet universe about their region-specific trips, people were ready to get nostalgic.
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The drama of high school never ends.
Not only because adulthood is full of cliques and popularity contests, but because sometimes, a confession comes along that can CHANGE. EVERYTHING.
Entertainment Weekly writer Marc Snetiker revealed that one of his high school classmates posted in their senior year Facebook group to make a startling confession: that the process behind the yearbook superlatives voting was not the honest democratic process he once believed.
The post reads:
Hey, guys! One more thing before I forget. In the spirit of the new year, I'd like to take this opportunity to confess to all of you that I, and one or two members of the Senior Leadership Council '07 who will remain unnamed, interfered with the Class of 2007 Senior Superlatives. This is not a joke.
We went to great lengths to forge no less than 30 filled out ballots, with all of our friends and acquaintances winning their respective categories. We attempted to rig literally every category. It's worth mentioning that not everyone we tried to fix the election for was victorious, and we could not rig the actual candidates being nominated in each category — those were all 100% legit, as far as I know.
Wow! I feel such a weight lifted off my shoulders, having finally confessed this. Thank you for reading.
It's brave of the alumnus to come clean after all of this time. They would have gotten away with it to—hell, they got away with it for 13 years.
The drama didn't stop there. Snetiker shared texts from friends reacting to the earth-shattering news in the group-chat.
The drama is too juicy to end here, so Snetiker better pitch this movie to his agent STAT.
A group of former overachievers unravel in adulthood when their one high school accomplishment is proven to be a lie HONESTLY where is my agent!!!
— Marc (@MarcSnetiker) January 7, 2020
If he doesn't write and direct this movie, maybe Patron Saints of Overachievers Unraveling, Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach, will.
I'm not a mom so I'm not in any mom Facebook groups. But after reading one mom's hilarious takedown, I am thinking about getting knocked up just so I can participate in the madness.
She writes:
Why OH WHY do I insist on staying in mo groups on Facebook?!
It's like a train wreck that you can't quite look away from.
"Can i have sex 3 days after a baby"
NO, TIFFANI WITH AN "I". You have a gaping wound in your uterus the size of a ding dang dinner plate and infection is not worth the 13 minutes of disappointment.
"Well, I only waited a week because I stopped spotting."
CONGRATULATINS, PUTRISHUH. But I assure you, you're not some superhuman with wolverine-like healing abilities and you just outed yourself as an actual moron.
"Should I feed my 3 month-old marshmallow fluff?"
I'm not even touching that one.
"My son burned his hand on my straightener that I left on while he was unsupervised because I was watching the new Selena Gomez music video. Does it look infected?"
IT SURE DOES, AUBRYANNA. But hey, let's wait a week before going to a hospital just in case it turns necrotic... that will be even better in the description for the gofundme I'm gonna see posted in this group for this very scenario.
ryvenkrennel writes:
Tragically accurate.
mulchmuffin writes:
I like this "insane" person. Seems like she is some kind of mom punisher for ignorant moms. Unfortunately its not just her mom groups. Facebook is a cesspool of idiots. Thats why I stick to the neckbeards on reddit.
Methebarbarian shares their own experience with these groups, writing:
Oh god so many injury/rash pictures. Also the ones where they warn against the irritation cause by x brand diaper followed by fighting about diaper brands cause no one seems to realize that each kid’s skin is different. Then some arguing over sleep training.
miniflasks also weighed in:
The highlight of my baby group was the mom who followed her crawling baby girl around with a mat because they only had hardwood and tile in their house. Was the mat for a logical reason like “Will the baby get burns from crawling on the floor?” Nope, she did not want her baby sitting on the floor because the floors were cold (we’re Canadian and it’s winter) and she said it would damage her daughter’s uterus.
The fuck.
And maxmynameismax paid the mom who wrote the post this high compliment:
This is the most sane person I’ve ever seen on Facebook
BullyBumble jumped in to roast husbands:
13 min? Who is this marathon man?
Moms, can you relate?
Saying goodbye to your children after hanging out with (aka raising) them for two decades can be an emotional jolt, to say the least. Here you are, with an empty house, fewer mouths to feed, and a complete shift in your emotional landscape, and you're pressured to just go about business as usual.
While all parents go into the responsibilities knowing their kids will eventually move out and live independently, the reality often hits like a ton of bricks, and there's nothing that can truly prepare you for the adjustment.
When you first have children they talk about the challenges of parenting....the struggles of a baby waking in the night,
the toddler who won’t stay in their bed, the cost of childcare, injuries from sports...
Having to take off work to pick them up from school when they don’t feel well, helping them with homework, a messy house, the never ending laundry, the cost to buy school clothes, packing their lunches....
You watch their eyes light up on Christmas morning....and try to soak in the magic of those moments.
You coach them in sports, rushing to practices and ballgames...and tote them all over the country to let them play the game they love...no matter how exhausting or expensive it becomes.
Life is just so busy that you rarely even stop to think what the end of those days look like.
In fact, it’s not really even something you can wrap your mind around.
You go into it thinking that 18-20 years sounds like a long time....
Then suddenly hours turn into days...days into months...and months into years.
That little person that used to crawl up next to you in bed and cuddle up to watch cartoons...suddenly becomes this young adult who hugs you in the hallway as they come and go.
And the chaos and laughter that used to echo throughout your home....gets filled with silence and solitude.
You’ve learned how to parent a child who needs you to care for and protect them....but have no clue how the whole “letting go” thing is supposed to work.
So you hold on as tight as you can...wondering how time passed so quickly...feeling guilty that you missed something....
Because even though you had 20 years.....it just somehow doesn’t seem like it was enough.
You ask yourself so many questions...
Did you teach them the right lessons?
Did you read them enough books as a child?
Spend enough time playing with them?
How many school parties did you have to miss?
Do they really know how much you love them?
What could I have done better as a parent?
.....When it’s time for them to go, it all hits you like a ton of bricks.
And all you can do is pray....hope....and trust that God will protect them as they start to make their way into the world alone.
Parenting is by far the most amazing experience of your life....that at times leaves you exhilarated....while others leave you heartbroken.
But one thing is certain.....it’s never enough time...💕
So for all the parents with young children...who’s days are spent trying to figure out how to make it through the madness...
Exhausted day in and day out...
Soak. It. All. In.
Because one day....all those crazy days full of cartoons, snuggles, sleep overs, Christmas morning magic, ballgames, practices and late night dinners...
All come to an end.
And you’re left hoping that you did enough right, so that when they spread their wings....They’ll fly...
While many of the women related to Lee's melancholy feelings around her children growing up, they also encouraged her to embrace the freedom of this new life phase in order to learn things she's always wanted.
If you're a parent, this serves as a great reminder to treasure the time you have with your kids - however annoying it may be. And if you're a grown kid, go call your mom (if you have one).
While most couples choose to live together at some point in their relationship out of both desire to spend as much time as possible together and financial benefits, sharing a space with anyone--even the person you love--is a challenge.
Suddenly, little things you never thought about consume your daily routine. Does your partner forget to close drawers and lids? Do you have an agreement on how long dishes can stay in the sink and if there are dishes in the sink--do you demand they be rinsed first? Sharing closet space, drawers, and a bedroom can get hard if you have drastically different cleaning standards and domestic routines.
So, when a Twitter user @rabiasquared asked the internet about the petty arguments they have with their partner, couples were ready to vent. Before you cry about having to pick up socks off the floor, take a moment to find the humor in petty fights!
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Kids! They are such cute little idiots. Adults can be pretty dumb, too, but without the excuse of not having fully-developed brains or an education. When adults are dumb, it's terrifying and can ruin the world. But when kids are dumb, it's funny and adorable.
1.) From Flippy428:
I used to think that once you finished a grade in primary school you became smarter than the teacher of that grade.
2.) From mtulitu:
I used to believe that night is brought about by clouds - dark ones, of course. Never felt the need to clarify this with anybody, it was an obvious fact
3.) From RandellX:
That if you drink while peeing you'll keep peeing until you stop drinking.
4.) From Ripleyshair:
That a blow job meant you blow air in a boy's general direction. Thanks to my older siblings for making me believe that one lol.
5.) From phillanthropist:
When I was really young, I was convinced I was pregnant (I’m a man btw), with a baby cat named Bridget. My family decided to see how long i would believe this so they never told me how ridiculously impossible that was. I went on believing it for about 5 months (that’s how long little me thought cat pregnancy lasted), and then when the baby never came, I went to my mom and asked when Bridget would be born, she finally told me that boys can’t get pregnant and humans can’t give birth to cats. I was traumatized, little me was so excited to be a cat father, and then it was ripped away from me. I was such a stupid kid.
Edit: since so many people keep asking. No, I never ended up getting a cat, and no I didn’t fuck a cat lmao. This would’ve been around 6 years old, and I was raised Catholic and thought god put babies in your stomach, so I thought he put a cat in me. And as for the name, I just really liked the name Bridget, and I still do.
6.) From CHOGIWADDLE:
That all companies with a 'TM' (Trademark) were owned by my family, only because those are my initials.
7.) From GivenNickname:
That there's a tiny human inside the TV who executed what the remote was telling him to do. For example, when you press the button to increase the volume, he is being hit in a specific way that let's him know that he has to go and manually increase the volume.
8.) From michhoffman:
I thought that highways functioned like Airport Moving Walkways.
9.) From spankthawank:
I always thought that kids were born with your shit, so one day you would go to the toilet and take a dump and then if you looked down there would be a child. And i thought that if you didn’t check you might accidentaly flush the baby
10.) From MordicusEgg:
When I was a young kid, maybe between 5-9, my dad took me to the tiny grass-runway airport in my town, and we went on a short plane ride in a small Cessna around the valley. My dad sat in the back, and I was upfront with the pilot. While we taxied off the ramp and out to the runway, I was given permission to move the yoke. I thought I was steering the aircraft the whole way. I told my mom that I taxied the plane. In school I told my class that I taxied the plane. In fact, it was so strong a memory that, I grew up remembering the memory without evaluating the experience. I was home on leave from A NAVAL AVIATION SQUADRON when I was talking about that flight with my dad, and I was thinking about it.... And I had this long pause... And I said, "Holy Shit, Dad, I just realized that I wasn't steering that Cessna!" My father laughed his ass off.
11.) From jdnursing:
I remember watching the movie cocoon with my grandparents. I could not have been more than 4 . For some reason I deduced that in order to become adults, children had to die in these pool cocoons and be reborn old. I freaked my cousins out and had a whole group of kids crying at a holiday party over our impending doom. Ruined Christmas pictures that year.
12.) From chamel321:
I believed hamburger and hotdog buns were only available for restaurants, not "civilians". Mom used sliced bread (toasted to obliterate the gums) at home to make burgers and hotdogs. I believed that until the age of 10.
13.) From DisastrousContact:
I thought that there would be a baby inside every girl's stomach as soon as she is born and inside that baby's stomach too there would be a tiny baby(the cycle goes on and on)and that the baby keeps growing as we grow and after getting married the doctors will cut the stomach and take the baby out to make space for another baby.
14.) From ajones321:
I was under the impression that there were tiny rats that lived inside of my stomach and when they ran in their wheels for exercise it would make me need to pee.
15.) From Stubble_Sandwich:
That I would have to change my name when I grew up.
I don't know why, but I thought my name was suitable for a child but definitely not for an adult, and I couldn't imagine (being) an adult with my name. I even talked to my mother about it, saying that at some point we'd eventually have to go to court to have it changed to something more "adult-sounding".
16.) From helikoptr:
That if people are going to study something they just sit in a circle with other students and think about what they want to do. As soon as they find out, they are done and they can leave.
I wish lol.
17.) From ExistentialMeg:
I was very very young and I blame wizard of oz but I believed that a tornado was just one big phenomenon that continuously happened and spun from state to state country to country. I also live in the south so we have frequent tornado warnings so I vaguely remember a time we had two or three warnings in one week and I was scared the “single tornado” would come to our town and never go away.
18.) From TannedCroissant:
My uncle is a priest for an obscure Hindu offshoot religion and he told me quite young that I shouldn’t play sport because each person only gets a set number of breaths in their life and getting out of breath used them up quicker. I used to spend hours laying in bed trying to make my breaths as long and slow as possible. In fairness, I actually have a decent lung capacity as an adult so maybe it had a positive effect.
19.) From pretor1133:
I used to believe that people that spoke other languages translated their language to mine in their head
20.) From NemuiNezumi:
I thought if you left a video game on then a character would come out of the tv and kill you. I was a bit paranoid as a small kid
21.) From RosyMama:
Grandparents were assigned to families. Like, I didn't know my Grandma was my Dad's mom.
22.) From cesarjulius:
i was vaguely aware of a tv show called ironsides, about a lawyer in a wheelchair. whenever i heard the word “paralegal”, i thought it meant a paraplegic lawyer. it made sense to me that people in wheelchairs could make excellent lawyers, based on the nature of the job and their physical limitations.
23.) From BMoreGirly:
That the Underground Railroad was a literal secret underground subway style steam engine that Harriet Tubman was the conductor of.
24.) From Jojorieke:
That the local mosque in my city was Aladdin's vacation home.
25.) From Porcupine98:
I felt terrible as a kid to eat.
I wouldn't eat in front of people and every meal I would find myself thinking "poor food, getting eaten " because I was convinced they had emotions.
26.) From Squildo:
Own two credit cards and use them to pay for each other for infinite money
27.) From SteakAndNihilism:
That if April was a month, Ninja Turtles must also be a month.
28.) From swipererer:
that babies were inside their moms literal belly, if she swallowed a cherry tomato whole I thought it would land and bounce on the baby's head.
29.) From Xayacota:
That beyond my country was nothing
30.) From billbapapa:
That sperm were the size of your fist, squeezed their way out of your penis while you were sleeping if a girl was in the bed with you, and wiggled their way up inside her to conceive the baby.
This was based on:
facts of life popup book, where the sperm where that size
really terrible reading skills and parents who wouldn't directly answer my questions just gave me the book, so I figured they were to scale
if babies forced their way out of women at the end during birth (which TV had taught me) I figured maybe nature was balancing the scales by having one of those bastard sperm tennis balls squeeze its way out of the man to begin the process.
I knew babies came about by sleeping with each other, I just didn't know how sleeping could do it, and I filled in the gaps.
31.) From flordesevilla:
Lived in Germany for a few years, my Dad convinced me that windshield wipers were called “flippenflöppen muckenschpreaders” (this was pre Google translate)
In concept, becoming an adult should automatically free you from the clutches of helicopter parents. But in reality, the most stringent and overbearing parents find new ways to monitor your life and cast unsolicited judgments on your personal decisions.
We've all heard horror stories of the mother-in-law who shows up at the house unannounced, or the parents who call their adult children multiple times a day with obsessive urgency, and while setting boundaries seems like an obvious solution, it can feel more complicated when you're inside the situation.
If you're having difficulties drawing the line with a toxic parent, these anecdotes might help provide a template.
They say things, and I just kind go “mhmmm” like I’m agreeing that I will do those things. BUT never verbally say I will do those things.
My dad was never a helicopter parent, he was actually the complete opposite. My mom was a super helicopter parent. When I was a sophomore in high school I got grounded from “everything”. I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything. I had to go to school and come home. I couldn’t watch tv unless it was about God. I didn’t have a phone, or computer, and couldn’t listen to music. For months. It got worse and worse as time went on.
She would give me a curfew randomly one day and it would be different the next day. I would get in trouble for not following a curfew I had no idea existed. She gaslighted me so much that I often felt like I deserved what was happening to me. After going to therapy I am better able to identify her abusive & bipolar tendencies. I’m working on minimizing contact with her. So, whenever she’s being a pain in my a*s I just tell her to f*ck off.
I just say ''no'' when i'm told to do something or follow a rule. I don't give a reason, even when I'm asked why. Its satisfying.
I don’t.
I’m not NC with them but I’m absolutely firm on my boundaries and standing up for myself, and I don’t let their tantrums sway me.
On the other hand, the pressure does eat at me, but I’ll never let them know that.
My parents weren't. But a friend moved to a different state and got engaged and my friend's mom still managed to be a helicopter parent. Visiting at least 3 times a month and contacting either her or her SO constantly. It ruined the engagement because the SO finally had enough because even though my friend was annoyed with her mom as well, she couldn't cut her mom off completely... Idk all the details but it must have been superrr annoying if someone was like "I love you, but f*ck having in-laws like this." She is now single and has moved back home. It's unfortunate...
Honestly me and my husband are trying to figure this out. My MIL is a total helicopter parent; if one of us (me, my husband, or his brother) doesn't respond to her messages within an hour or two, she'll bombard the other two about where we are/if something happened to us. She freaked out on me when I didn't respond to her after three hours (we were doing a cross-country drive) and accused me of trying to shut her out and said we're never going to be a real family because of the "walls" I've built up around myself.
I don't know what to do. My husband won't stand up to her as much as I want him to, but I can't do this for the rest of my life. We have to establish some boundaries, but it's not my mom, so I can't be the one to initiate.
I am low contact. A lot of us go low or no contact.
I still live with my parents. I avoid their invasive questions but am pretty honest about every thing I do choose to share with them. My siblings and I are whole adults so they try to be less insane these days.
Funny (I guess) story though - the other day my sister and I were watching "Pulp Fiction" and my dad waltzed in our room, stared at the tv for a second and goes, "that movie is for grownups" my sister said, "I'm 25"
I ignore them. To be honest it's also because I'm in a different city and have a hectic job. But there was also a period of slowly getting them used to the fact that they would not know and control every detail of my adult life.
They still helicopter me, actually now more than ever that I'm 24 and I'm not sure what suddenly turned the dial up. However I'm finally planning on moving out for good this year with my boyfriend. Every time I bring it up, they don't believe me or they think I'm kidding and say it isn't happening.
Oh well, I did tell them. I guess they'll get a reality check when the time comes and it won't be on me.
My parents weren't that bad, but they were quite over-protective. After I turned 21, I still wasn't allowed out after dark and all that jazz. Had to let them know where I was going and who I was seeing in case I was murdered. What I did was move to another continent. I talk to them every couple of weeks over Whatsapp voice chat. They try and tell me what to do sometimes and I'm just like "ok" and don't do it.
Edit: I'm white British and moved to the US when I was 24.
Edit edit: last I checked in with them, my parents had agreed that my mum is no longer allowed out into the front garden without my dad "because of all the blacks moving in", if you want any more context on them.
I had to be extremely mean and blunt with my mom. I'm a mid-thirties married man, and had to straight up tell her that I have a family and my own life and she needs to go get a hobby or take classes or anything whatsoever that will give her a sense of value because I do not need a goddamn interfering invasive mother any longer.
When she started giving me either the "that's so horrible you'd talk to your mother that way" or the "ohhh no my kids don't need me anymore" I literally flat out had to just say "I don't give a sh*t mom. Go work it out." I had to be super super mean to her about it. Sometimes parents have to cut their children off, and sometimes children have to cut their parents off. Doesn't make me feel good but I sleep fine.
The way that I got my mom to chill out on me was to tell her that I wanted to go to a college out of state. That was the moment she realized she wasn't going to be protective of me forever and it took her a long time to accept it.
As of now, she's been a little easier on me, though she still sometimes treats me like a child. If I'm out of state, then I just limit contact with her and don't call home often. I think a lack of contact is the best everyone with helicopter parents can do initially because it's just so refreshing to be by yourself with nobody breathing on your neck after so long.
My brother and I had no free time allowed growing up, just music and homework allowed. Age 30+, my dad has passed away now (he was never the problem) but my mom still does her best to control our lives, inserting herself into situations she doesn't belong, and passive aggressively putting us in situations that she wants to happen.
But cutting her off or telling her she's overstepping makes us "the bad ones" in her mind [edited for clarity], so minimal contact and details are all that's on the menu for her from me now. 🤷♂️ My brother doesn't get it though, giving her minute details and then getting annoyed when she thinks she can have a say in how he lives his life.
My husband deals with this with his mother. We make decisions as a married couple then later every thing changes after they talk to each other. Even situations dealing with our daughter, like I have no say even when he and I were on the same page before decisions were put into action. He is so desperate to please his mom he turns his back on me. When I confront him he blames me for causing drama or being petty. IDK his mom acts like she is his wife and he lets it happen. It grosses me out.
My parents track my location at all times now. (I’m 27) . That way they don’t call the cops if I don’t pick up within 30 min....which has happened multiple times ...
Unfortunately, the helicopter behavior continued after I got married and had children. Eventually, the only way to gain control was to go no contact.
Edit: Fundamentally it boiled down to a complete lack of respect for boundaries. My happiness, marriage, and ability to be a good parent were all suffering because my mother was still trying to control my life. We tried setting up boundaries, but that only escalated things. I would have gladly gone to family counseling if she agreed, but it was far easier for her to complain to her friends that her children don’t speak to her. (Yes, my brother cut her off too.)
I strongly recommend the following books: Stop Walking on Eggshells (by Paul Mason) and Boundaries (by Henry Cloud). I also very strongly recommend counseling.
It was a nice sense of relief to get out of the house
To put it into perspective here’s some of the stuff that was common in my house:
8:30 bedtime.
No shooting games allowed, I could only ever play Minecraft with my friends.
Could not close doors other than bathroom.
Could not LOCK bathroom doors.
Could not spend your own money without parents approval first
Could not play on computer unless they were home (obviously this rule got broken a lot)
No social media at all
The one that got me the most though was until high school we could only have sleepovers at our house and could not go to most birthday parties
Getting out of the house to stay with someone else for a little was an absolute godsend. I love being independent and stoopid with my money and being able to play whatever games I want when I want.
So, yeah that’s kinda what it’s like.
Still pretty bad.
I’m 26, married and a mom of 4.
She treats me like a toddler when she visits. Thinks I’m incapable of basic things... like making breakfast or taking care of my kids.
She’ll hover over me while I’m changing my kids. Criticizing how well I’m doing.
She tries to go through my clothes and pick out outfits for me to wear. Will literally buy me clothes that look like baby clothes. It’s weird.
Have to set some hard boundaries with her.
I moved to a different country.
I do not go back to visit.
When they come visit they stay in a hotel.
My husband, who was not raised in an overbearing environment, is always present when they visit. He serves as a reality check and is effective in shutting down misbehavior.
I'm going to have to explain one day that they wont be allowed unsupervised visits with any children I have.
"Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up."
-Evelyn Hendrickson
If you're married, congratulations. Not only did you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, but you also found some memes that will be relatable as hell. If these marriage memes don't make you laugh, you may want to double-check your marriage license and make sure it's legit.
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To paraphrase Whitney Houston, "I believe that children are our future, and killing animals is an indicator of even more sociopathic behavior."
Teachers on Reddit are taking the time between classes to tell the stories of the students who made them say, and I quote, "Oh god, this child is a sociopath."
Come for the juicy, high-stakes stories, stay for prequels to the next true crime documentaries.
Oh god, hopefully these kids get help.
So I am not entirely sure if this is sociopath or psychopath but I had a child that was creepily into my pregnancy for the first 7 months. He wanted to name her, talked to my belly, etc. Then one day it clicked that I would leave and he got really close to me and whispered, "When you come out, I'm going to kill you with a hammer. I hate you."
I was shocked, so I took him with me to the office. The LSSP asked why he said that. He replied that, "It will take her away. I want it to die so she stays here." He was on a lot of medication for his incredibly violent tendencies. He had tried to kill his sister before by pushing her in front of a bus. His mother kept him locked in his room at night because she had found him standing over her with a knife.
Edit: The child was a Male. 10 years old. His mother agreed to have him committed after he attempted to kill a police support dog using a pair of scissors. MHMR and CPS were both involved. I haven't seen or heard from the family since I left the district.
I have seen students display all sorts of extreme behaviour over the past 20 years, teaching teenagers in challenging schools.
The one kid that I was convinced was a psychopath, just quietly refused to do anything he didn't want to do. I never saw him angry, and yet I did see him hit people and say awful things to them. He was always eerily calm. He was tiny and very cute but he used to manipulate people and watch chaos unfold with these huge unblinking puppy-dog eyes. It was like he was carrying out an experiment.
ANYWAY that was when he was about 14. He's 19 now and serving a life sentence for a horrific gang murder.
I worked with a student who would fit this description. The stories of the things he did are extensive. One example is that he got up from his seat to throw something away. On his way back, he walked up behind a student who was distracted working on his assignment. Out of the blue, he pushed the working student’s head forward and into the desk. He gave him a bloody nose. There had been no previous altercation or source of friction between the two. His parents were divorced and his mother was too afraid of him to have him during the days she had custody. His father would move him frequently from school to school once his behavior got so bad that the school started the process to get him into psychiatric care.
I have a million stories of students who say borderline sociopathic stuff, but the worst thing I've ever heard to date was:
"I can't be trusted with knives. My mommy hides all knives in the house from me because I've tried to stab everything and everyone. I know if I stab an animal or a person too much they might die. This would mean I'd go to jail and I don't think I could make it in jail. So I want to find a dead body and stab it over and over again. This way I know I won't get in too much trouble cause the person was already dead."
Two twin 8th grade boys (literal f*ckin lunatics) threw their dog across their living room and it landed on the edge of the table. They said it was “dead but still moving” and they buried it. Dude they buried a live f*ckin dog. This was confirmed by neighbors and they’re now in the appropriate facilities. Messed up times a million.
A 5 year old kindergarten student started crying, he didn't want to go in the classroom. His mother told him he had to go anyways, the kid stopped crying, took off his belt, and started whipping his mother. As a teacher, it was the first time I was completely speechless.
Had a high school freshman who was a very boisterous kid, and youthful for his age. One day he was being disruptive and acting up, so I asked him to step out of the room with me while my co-teacher continued the lesson. I calmly explained to him why I had taken him out, why his behavior was disruptive, and asked him to be more mindful in the future. He seemed attentive to me, and to understand where I was coming from. Then, just as I was about to go back in with him, he says to me:
“Okay, I’m gonna start crying so everyone thinks you yelled at me.”
I immediately put the brakes on. I asked him why he wanted to do that, why he felt it was okay to lie like that, and why he wanted to make me seem like a bad person when I had been very polite and thought we had had a good interaction. He didn’t have any good answers with me, but we had already spent enough time out of class. I got him to agree to go in quietly and we went on with the lesson.
Needless to say, it was a sign of things to come. He turned out to be a gossiping, backstabbing little social monster. The more mature kids learned to keep their distance from him, and he cultivated friendships with other kids who enjoyed his acting out, and emulated it. We finished out the year on reasonable terms, but as he went on to other teachers with different classroom styles, his behavior worsened and derailed many classes.
His sister annoyed him so he killed her kitten in front of her.
Complete and utter lack of remorse. Just didn't see animals as any different from toys. Violence towards animals during childhood is very common in serial killers.
This one happened just the other day and, obviously, I’m going to be anonymous about it to protect the child’s identity. Let’s call her Abby.
So, I’m driving a minibus of students home from a basketball practice when suddenly Abby starts screaming, “did that have peanuts in it!? I’m allergic to peanuts!” She begins hyperventilating and crying and actually makes me pull over so she can get off the bus and throw up. We’re about 15 minutes from the school and I’m literally having a panic attack.
So, I call the principal and ask what should I do? Do we have an Epi-pen on hand at the school, ect. She seems confused and puts Abby’s grandmother on, who tells me she wasn’t aware her granddaughter, who is claiming she can barely breath, HAD any allergies.
When we got back to the school I was about ready to faint and the principal brings out her registration paperwork to show me: no listed allergies. She isn’t allergic to anything, it was all an act. The hyperventilating, the crying, even the throwing up, was all for attention.
Not a child, but an 18-19 y/o college student.
I was the TA for a class that viewed a lot of movies about the Holocaust and WWII. This kid would crack up at random scenes of death, starvation, and typhus victims.
We often hear tales about bridesmaids struggling to find the right dress for the wedding, or brides who demand concessions from their friends when it comes to hair or outfits.
But the monstrous and invasive wedding demands aren't limited to bridesmaids, there are groomsmen who also face surprising dress code requirements and power struggles ahead of the ceremony.
Long time lurker... first post yay
So, a close family member is getting married soon. I have been told to either grow my beard out a lot, or shave it completely for the wedding. Or the option of wearing glasses that I only use while looking at classroom boards from far away, while sitting. The moment before I stand to walk around, I remove my glasses. I only use them in the classroom while sitting.
I have been told to do this as their "wedding present". Also because a very old family member recently mistook the groom for myself. I have not seen this family member for a long time. I live several hours away from most of the family anyway. I don't see them too often, but will during the wedding. I am a member of the groomsmen. I don't feel it is okay to strongly request this, to the point of being overly upset if I choose to not follow their request.
Why should he change his appearance so the groom can shine, when they are completely different men?
A request can be denied, and I am choosing to have a cleanly shaped beard, and not wear glasses that will make me nearly blind while walking around. I don't think I look too similar to the soon to be married groom. We look similar, but its quite easy to tell us apart. I don't feel its my issue to change my appearance for the wedding just because of a similarity. I find it upsetting that I am told to change my appearance because of their choice to marry a person that may look similar and not my choice that we do have a slight resemblance.
Edit: The close family member is my sister by the way. Also 1 parent seems quite upset that I am not going to follow their request, saying its a simple thing to do for them. Which yea, it is simple to do, yet I may be stubborn in my decision, but feels wrong to change my looks and fake on my part. And the other parent seems to completely agree with my decision.
NTA
I'd be tempted to go all malicious compliance on this and dye your beard an insanely eye-catching colour.
All I'm getting from this is that your sister is marrying someone who looks like her brother, which is a whole other case of weird we're not unpacking.
NTA because it's a bullshit request. I generally fall on the side of "your wedding, your rules" but asking someone to change their physical appearance is a bridge too far. I think getting a beard trim so it looks clean is fine.
The bride is your sister?! You should ask her what's up with her marrying a man who can be easily confused with her brother.
NTA - isn’t the groom going to be hanging out with a woman in a white puffy dress? That’ll differentiate the two of you.
That is one weird a*s request.
NTA.
There are other ways to address this issue. For instance, they could have the groomsmen wear different suits than the groom, a different boutonnière, a different tie, etc.
Asking you to change your entire look is absurd. If it’s something they’re truly concerned about they can address it themselves and find a way to set you apart from the groom.
It's pretty clear that the internet agrees this is a bonkers request, particularly since it was only one elderly family member who has confused the two men. Hopefully, OP's sister and future brother-in-law are able to relax enough to realize this isn't a pressing issue.
There's a reason teens love "Truth or Dare" so much—because it's dangerous, and teens love danger. If a game of "Truth or Dare" doesn't cross a line, leading to shameful memories that may last a lifetime, what's even the point of playing?! Take this from me, someone whose friend* once streaked into a neighbor's yard and got in their hot tub for a full minute. Why?! Because they chose dare. And you never, ever turn down a dare.
*it was me, I'm the friend. My apologies if you're reading this, Mr. and Mrs. Abelman.
1.) From dryfishman:
I dared my younger brother to drink creek water and he ended up with a staph infection. Never told on me. Good dude.
2.) From the-big-sadd:
Once I streaked down a road at 2:00 in the morning, that’s it though
3.) From LilGillFB:
A girl once asked me which girl from our game I would choose to fuck.
As I wasn't thinking straight, I said I would choose her sister who was playing with us, but things didn't work out very well and I spent the rest of the night embarrassed sitting next to her sister.
4.) From Howler_The_Receiver:
Roommate’s friend got to go though my phone for 1 minute.
5.) From wdtellett:
When i was a kid I thought that truth or dare was gonna be this wild thing that happened in my teen years. Maybe I'd end up kissing a cute girl, taking a shot, maybe both. Maybe more! Maybe something sexy!
I have literally never played an actual game of truth or dare in my life. A few times people tried to get it started at a party, but it was like three dudes basically trying to get girls to flash them.
A pretty disappointing realization.
6.) From Tanooki_Time:
Not me, but in middle school someone ate a full twig. Took him like 30 min of chewing. It was very uncomfortable
7.) From WWII_TankEnthusiest:
Me and my BF were playing T/D on Google Duo. It ended up with us both masturbating to each other. I got a dildo up the ass, too. Great times.
8.) From VeryLegitLasagna:
Put a toy car up my ass... No lube. Incase this somehow validates it, it was a tow mater car.
9.) From TheWastedTip:
Well, Not me but a friend of mine had to run up and down the street ( At like 4:00Am) Nude, screaming “ I JUST GOT LAIDD!”
Funniest thing I’ve sent in a while.
10.) From RandomGuyWithStick:
One time it got out of control and I said the name of my crush
11.) From AgentLead_TTV:
i ate the cobra out of a bottle of snake wine. the whole fucking thing. at a huge memorial day party over a decade ago. it was a dare with about $450 attached to it that several people threw into. totally worth it.
12.) From oreo_milktinez:
Got my first lap dance.
Got a stripper style dance. In the face an everything.
Had to drink hot ranch dressing. LITE ranch dressing.
Someone ate a while ghost pepper, stem and all.
Got to see my first set of tits in person.
Smoked weed for the first time.
13.) From ForWhenImWeird:
Not truth or dare, but ‘what are the odds’
I coated my entire dick In Dave’s insanity/ghost pepper hot sauce. Within 3 minutes I was in the shower getting real intimate with a glass of milk because it burned so bad. I was so close to going to the hospital. Ended up falling asleep with one of those flexible ice packs wrapped around my yogurt slinger.
Trust me, it’s not worth any amount of money.
14.) From throwaway69420k:
Bbq sauce on ma titties.
15.) From Shenaniboozle:
Truth - resulted in having my first sexual encounter with my crush. Further resulted in being in awe of her pretty much owned for a good year or so. 10/10, Thumbs up, but do not recommend, going from having a crush on someone to being their plaything is both awesome and devastating. I was not prepared.
16.) From ASSHAT-69ER-4LIFE:
Let them.watch me shit
Follow-up:
I was trying to impress a chick
17.) From kg1206:
Kissed a female friend of mine for 10 minutes straight while her boyfriend was in the room.
Her boyfriend was not the one who dared me however he insisted I do it because he was drunk and got all upset that I didn’t wanna kiss his girlfriend thinking that I didn’t think she was hot and was “disrespecting her,” they are no longer dating btw. And no she’s not dating me either.
18.) From Jason_faber:
French Kiss my Aunt...mother’s Sister
19.) From doggyfrog54:
Not NSFW and I didn’t do it, but here’s a dare I gave my friend.
He had to message his crush on WhatsApp by sending every single heart emoji separately, and I said he could delete it after five minutes. It was late at night (actually early in the morning), so I thought the only harm would be the tons of deleted messages shown.
So anyways, he starts, and half way through sending the hearts, she comes ONLINE. I tell him once he sends the last one he can delete the messages straight away. Luckily she didn’t end up reading it and just asked him what they said.
Turns out, she was in another country. In another time zone. And it was a perfectly normal time for her to check her phone. They haven’t really spoken since.
In my defense though, I did give him much easier options to choose from XD
You're so vain, you probably think a contractor breaking their arm is about you.
Engineer, workshop owner, and contractor Abs Delfuego, whose Reddit username is Omegaweapon, fractured his "second favorite arm" and therefore couldn't complete a custom unit in time for the client's desired deadline.
Rather than express empathy for an injured man in pain, the client proceeded to freak the F out, demanding that Delfuego call back all his employees from their vacation so he can get the piece in time for his birthday.
Delfuego offered as seemless a transition to another contractor as possible, catching a friend up on the project. The client refused to accept the recommendation, and when Delfuego said he couldn't "unbreak his arm" or call back his staff from vacation, the client threatened to ruin his business and accused him of "jerking" him around.
The entire discussion gets surprisingly NSFW at the end, with some innuendo failing to lighten the client's mood.
Read the entire exchange here, and learn how NOT to respond to broken bones.
Can you feel the love?
When you're testing the waters with a new love interest, it's easy to think, "Ugh, I hope they don't dump me because of my hair color, or my texting style, or the way I say hi."
Your friends might tell you you're overthinking things. Surely no one could be so petty that they'd ghost you because of your accent or your favorite slang term? Well, based on a Reddit thread, actually lots of people are that petty. They're petty, and they're not a shamed of it.
A Reddit user asked, "What was the pettiest reason you decided not to date someone?" And hundreds of people responded with astoundingly petty tea. Enjoy.
didn’t like their voice. they seemed sweet but their voice was way too high pitched. - imbabycri
We were snuggling on his couch and he was the big spoon. He thought I was asleep but I wasn’t and I could see him over me from the corner of my eye picking his nose and eating his boogers. Lmao I could never look at him the same way. - BurntTofuNugget
When I was 13 I broke up with a girl because when I'd put my arm around her shoulder when walking she would put her arm the same height as me....like we were walking like a couple of jovial buddies haha - jackrabbitskimz
I hated the way they texted. Slang is fine but ignoring spellcheck altogether is just unacceptable. - YungMedusa-
The guy turned up in a monster truck....no s***. The wheels were taller than I was. - FlaGarden
She eats her peas one at a time. - CheeseCycle
She stole my pen right out of my hand while I was using it. It doesn't matter that I was in 6th grade, that s*** pissed me off. - clofas1
He didn't know what Machu Picchu was. Or Peru. - songs-on-the-wind
he told me my sternum felt pointier than most people's. - glitterphile
They breathed so loudly! - kiki_jiji4life
Astrological incompatibility. It was some ridiculous phase I went through a few years ago. - nigelthegreat1
It turned out we had the same birthday, not the same year, just the day and month. I said 'what are the odds' to which she replied, 'it has to be at least 10,000 to one'. When I tried to explain it was much less than that she wouldn't believe me. - perlafox
I don't date picky eaters. Food is one of the few things I'm passionate about so I can't really connect with people who outright refuse to eat good food. - HoennReborn
I didn’t like her first name. - imk
This lovely girl I was dating had a weird smell on her scalp. Kinda smelled like corn.
I never told the real reason why I broke it off with her. - Spillway
He had 6 toes on his right foot. Freaked me the f*** out. - AJandSJ
Women let men get away with a lot. Too much, some might say.
One pregnant woman is wondering if maybe she's being a little annoying by asking her husband to please not stay in the bathtub with her while she gives birth.
Ummm, wow! The soon-to-be mom posted on Reddit about her dilemma.
Small summary.. my husband has a bit of a bath obsession, he'll come home from work and disappear into the tub for anywhere from 30 minutes to 1 or 2 hours, I've repeatedly told him this doesn't work out well since we'll have a 1 year old as of next month (whom I stay at home with all day) and a newborn any day now.
We toured the hospital I was to deliver in this past week to make sure it was the right fit, I asked him at the end of the tour what he thought of the tour and the only thing he thought of to say was that the tubs were nice.. he couldn't wait to get into them. When I informed him the tub was for me to labor in and not for him to bath in he was upset.
I can't seem to get the idea out of his head that he can't take a bath in the tubs and they're not for the father, he also refuses to believe that they won't let him in the tub as well when I'm delivering (there's various health reasons why plus I wouldn't like him all over me anyway)
Am I in the wrong for being so against it?
He's acting like I'm being unreasonable on this one but even my family seem to agree with me.
2sayornot2say said he needs therapy:
Your husband needs to be spoken to by a professional, although it’s concerning he won’t believe you. Do you know where the obsession comes from? I have to say this is a first for me, hearing this...
SincerelyCynical points out that sometimes, dads do get in on that sweet, sweet tub action (probably because they don't realize most people poop during childbirth. Yes, even in a bath):
I’ve heard of plenty of fathers being in the birthing tub while the mother gives birth. I still think it’s disgusting. There are all kinds of fluids happening in that tub, so why would anyone volunteer to sit in someone else’s bodily fluid? Just no.
But despite this, aacmnac says the mom's opinion and needs have to be paramount in this situation:
It's one thing if both parties want the father in the tub too, I'm not saying that's weird. But for his reaction to you wanting his opinion on the place your child is about to be born to be "Oh big tub, can't wait to go tubby time", he's a fucking weirdo.
ItStillIsntLupus says this is a moment when it's okay for the future mom to put her foot down.
This is a special moment in your life and if you don’t feel comfortable with this, then he doesn’t need to be in the tub with you. This isn’t just about him. It’s mainly about you and your baby. He’s being selfish and childish about this. Also congratulations in advance.
"Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all."
-David Lynch
Grab a coffee and get ready to laugh. The only thing better than caffeine is looking at memes while you're pumped full of caffeine
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Maybe I'm just sadistic, but there are few things more darkly funny than a sad, awkward party. Especially when that party is catered. Nothing compliments a tragically uncomfortable social event like decorated tables full of hors d'oeuvres. This is part of what makes Party Down one of the best, most underrated shows of all time.
1.) From Kurrylyn:
Happened to a friend, fellow caterer. Showed up to cater a birthday party. We usually show up as servers with limited info. Asks client " So when does the Birthday Boy arrive?" He doesn't, he is dead. Such an important detail left out of the event logistics . Awkward moment followed by slightly uncomfortable party complete with cake.
2.) From trent_pee:
I was cocktail-ing a beer release party from a couple local brewers at the restaurant I work at.
I had a guaranteed $300 from the brewers for them taking over my section. ( two ten-seat high-tops)
Before I went in, I checked the fb event page and some 300 people were invited.
The event lasted four hours and three people showed up. I felt pretty bad for the poor motherfuckers. I bought their food with my discount.
3.) From emfizz:
Same thing happened at a graduation party I worked. She threw the biggest tantrums all day as they were setting up the hall because it had to be perfect, had a very expensive DJ, and 10 pizzas ordered for her friends who were supposed to show up at 7 after the family ate what we had catered. No one showed up. Not a single friend.
I felt awful for her.
4.) From Eaglesun:
Not a caterer but WAS a performer. And this party was only sad at the beginning.
Showed up at this fancy pants restaurant where a company had rented out the entire building for a dinner party. Our orchestra was there for twenty minutes and no one had shown up. This guy walks in the door alone and starts talking to the manager. He doesn't know why no one is there either, and is visibly upset. Ten minutes go by and some lady comes in the front door, absolutely baffled. At the same time the guy gets a phone call from his boss. The party had been cancelled. It was too late for them to cancel reservations though, and since it was already paid for, the guy and lady figure hey, why the hell not? and decide they will have dinner.
So a half hour goes by and we get called out into the dining hall. Our orchestra wasn't a traditional one, and we always made it a point to walk between and around the tables during our performances while we were playing, even get down on our knees and sing directly to the eating audience members. Normally this is really cool because you get all these violin, viola, and cello players dispersing through the room while playing, and it brings the music directly to the listeners. But when we walked in, we saw that there was only one table set up (thus why we had to wait a half hour) with candles and everything (the manager really went out of his way to make this nice), along with the amenities of the party (chocolate fountain, little bar in the corner, all that.
So we come in in two lines, split up, and encircle this one lonely table with a guy and a girl, whom we were told was his girlfriend, and begin playing. Everyone looked super awkward during the whole thing, and we all felt terrible for these guys.
Anyway, about 6 songs in, after we had done our whole "down on one knee and sing to the person" bit, the guy stands up and asks us to stop. Everyone is confused as fuck, until the guy starts talking to his girlfriend. He drops some romantic words, and as his passionate speech gets to about minute 3, the staff start coming out of the woodwork and watching from a distance (behind us). Eventually, he gets down on his knee and proposes to her, and there are tears in the corners of our violists' eyes, contented smiles on the faces of the violinists and bass players, and a dumbfounded look on our young cellists' faces.
She said yes, and everyone started clapping like mad. We then pulled out our happiest most high octane song and played for the couple, and played our hearts out, before playing our exit tune and leaving.
I presume he was going to do this in front of coworkers and friends at the party... or else this guy was the smoothest motherfucker alive.
5.) From logomachy:
My father used to DJ weddings, parties, etc. Well I used to help him out with the equipment load-in and out, and there was this one party that took place in a nursing home. One of the workers there was insisting he go around with his wireless mic and take song requests from some of the residents. He starts going around the circle of old folks and when he gets to this one woman, she grabs the mic from him and yells: "GET ME OUT OF HERE."
He didn't take any more requests.
6.) From everthustodeadbeatz:
I was a server at Maggiano's and we catered a party for OA (Overeaters Anonymous). I shit you not. And keep in mind, Maggiano's is a family style all you can eat huge portions restaurant.
7.) From bebemochi:
I'm an event coordinator, hope that's close enough...
Several parties definitely stick out as being horrifying or disastrous... but as far as "sad" goes, it's more of a type than a particular party...
There's always a bride who comes in all starry-eyed and blows her whole budget on things like a DJ with tons of effects, a designer ballgown, huge floral centerpieces, specialty lighting, specialty linens... Chasing after a particular "look." That's fine and all, as long as she's actually budgeted the money for CATERING. So many brides think of food as the absolute last thing, and so their guests end up being allotted four cheese cubes, two chicken wings, and a cash bar. So this gorgeous venue done up to the nines, and you gotta shell out $5.50 cash for a glass of chard, oh, and while you were waiting in line at the bar, the food ran out in the first 30 minutes of the reception. Wedding receptions like that end very, very quickly, and usually you have a bride and groom wandering around a half empty ballroom trying to scrape together enough singles for the garter and bouquet toss.
8.) From [deleted]:
I catered at a wedding where one of the male guests found it to be just the right moment to propose to his girlfriend. The girlfriend started to cry and yelled out apologies to the bride as she bolted out of there.
9.) From ForeverShitShow:
A couple years ago I catered a wedding that happened during the biggest hurricane of the summer, and ended up as one of the worst we had in years. The entire week we were all waiting for it to get cancelled, but they never shut it down.
Fast forward to the wedding day. The ceremony was held in a church down the street. Things are starting to get bad outside. We need to pack up and leave before it's too late, they won't really carry through with the reception today, will they?
Well, come 4 pm 150 people pour into the reception area. Right as the power goes out. Within half an hour the whole building is ~90 degrees, dark, and water is spilling in from the front door. Somehow someone calls up a friend who drives a generator to the party. So we have electricty but just in time for us to legally be required to throw out all the (probably 30 lb) of crab dip, lobster, etc. that couldn't be refrigerated. Well, these crazy motherfuckers decide to carry on and dance to the music from someone's boombox, in the light of halogen work lamps, while we attempt to serve dinner in the dark.
By the end of the night, I have managed to slip on the river streaming onto the linoleum entrance hallway with a giant tray of glasses. The storm knocked over a tree that blocked off the only road to get out, resulting in 150 people in formalwear (many of whom didn't live in the city) trapped in what might as well have been a furnace. I got yelled at by several guests and the mother of the bride for not serving the crab dip. And she made my boss cry, which led to the rest of the crew crying and begging the gods for mercy as well. Needless to say, it was a great night for all of us, especially the part where we had to drive through someone's front yard to get out of the damn place.
TL;DR crazy couple decides to carry on with their wedding reception through the worst hurricane our city had in yearsEdit: This wasn't in Florida or anything, it was in Central Virginia, which was partly why we weren't prepared for it at all; a lot of "hurricanes" that hit us are just semi-heavy rainstorms, so nobody was expecting real damage.
Also, the ~90 means about 90, not negative 90! Can't tell if y'all are sarcastic or not.
10.) From CarmenFiFi:
I was a server at a baptist banquet center with no liquor license so every party was at least a little bit sad. The really hardcore baptists didn't even have dancing....which didn't exactly make for a festive wedding.
The worst was probably a wedding where the groom was ex-Amish and over half the attendants were Mennonites. Since the groom had been excommunicated he had almost no family at the wedding and had to do the mother-son dance with his new wife's aunt. Later the groom did a strip tease before the garter toss and immediately after all the Mennonites left. There were about 3 hours before the reception ended, leaving like 30 people to awkwardly stand around and attempt the Cupid Shuffle.
11.) From aggiekayla:
I was a banquet manager at a kind of run down country club while I was in college. We didn't have the classiest clientele. One wedding I worked had a pregnant bride that didn't even look 18. Her mom kept saying over and over that the rooms had to be cool because the bride was pregnant and would faint if she got too hot. So the entire staff is aware that this bride is pregnant. The bride then continues to drink wine for 2 hours before the ceremony(our bartender was going to try to not serve her by carding her but the mom kept getting her drinks and it was very awkward. When it came time for the toasts I give her cider and refused her champagne). Then only 12 of the expected 25 guests show up. Some don't even stay for the meal. None of the groom's family was there. They played music from an iPod and it would have long stints of silence. The bride's stepfather kept going outside and smoking pot. It was just sad how no one cared about this wedding and the bride was careless with her unborn child. The groom clearly was in college and the bride did not have higher education in her future. Shotgun weddings are just awkward.
12.) From punkwalrus:
I don't cater, but I have worked with caterers, and my wife had a catering business for a while.
Saddest was a wedding reception where something happened where the wedding was called off. I can't recall why, but it had to do with the exposure of infidelity on the part of one of the couple exposed during the ceremony, and the whole thing called off. But the father of the bride said the reception was already paid for, so why not just go show up and eat? Only about half the party showed up, and ate mostly in silence.
Another friend of mine was part of a quartet hired for a reception. She said sometimes the Greek weddings got a little out of hand (they got referrals from a Greek reception hall). One of them she said was a family who had obviously started drinking before they got there. The groom's side was Irish/Greek, and the bride's side was all Greek. There had been some kind of fight before the wedding, and during the ceremony, more scuffles. By the time the reception started, those who arrived early started fighting with other people who arrived early on both sides of the family. It seems there was a "who are the true Greeks" kind of war, and the groom's side accused the bride's side of being gypsy thieves. At some point, the police got involved, but no arrests were made, and everyone calmed down. Then the father of the bride gave a speech about racial purity, and this started another brawl that pretty much was a free-for-all: chairs thrown, tables flipped, wedding cake destroyed, both bars robbed clean of liquor, and the entire quartet were in the kitchen, hiding with the catering staff. She said that the owner wouldn't call the police again, because he feared losing his liquor license, but both parties were just tearing the pace apart to find things to throw at one another. Plaster details and wall mirrors were smashed, the carpet was being torn up, and it was chaos. At one point, the mother of the bride and the owner of the reception hall came back with them, and said, "we don't think you'll be needed tonight," paid in full, and the quartet left. Weeks later, they were asked to perform for another wedding, and she said, "as bad as that riot was, you couldn't even tell when we returned. The entire place had been repainted, carpeting redone, plaster recast, the mirrors on the wall replaced."
13.) From rawbamatic:
A friend of mine was working as a server for a wedding and apparently the bride cheated on the groom during the reception with one of his groomsmen.
EDIT: I've had a few people ask me for details so I will try to recall them as best as I can.
My friend was a server so he called me to tell me about his shitty day after he got off work, this was almost ten years ago. He said that it was a great wedding and reception but there was always some sort of tension among the head table. After the dinner was served and music/dancing was going on so the bride got up to use the washroom (she was drunk). My friend said that the bride and groomsmen would have gotten away with it but decided to use an employee washroom in the back. The music in the front would have masked the noises they were making. The kitchen manager caught them, thinking it was two employees going at it (there was a couple that worked there that would do this). Shit immediately hit the fan. There was yelling going on (from the groomsmen) about things like "how dare you barge in on us" type shit, and people from the hall could hear this going on so a few of them stumbled back to see why the bride and groomsmen were yelling. They were not fully clothed at this point. Eventually the groom made the bride and that groomsmen leave the reception, saying he wanted to spend his wedding day with people he cared about. My friend never heard what ended up happening to that couple.
14.) From Gluttony4:
The restaurant I work at caters to a Canada Day music festival every year, and I'm always one of the ones working sales at the main booth, because I'm one of the few employees without an Indian accent.
One man bought some curry, and then minutes later stormed back, furious at us because it had come open when he tossed it (literally, tossed) into the back seat of his fancy new car, which resulted in a bright yellow curry spilled all over expensive leather seats. Initially he was angry, shouting, swearing, and informing me how his lawyers would ensure that I (a 20-something student) would personally be buying him a new car.
My boss took him aside and very calmly, in spite of all the shouting, asked if he was actually angry at the young woman who'd served him curry, or if he was venting his frustration on others because he was angry at himself for making a bad decision by throwing a container of curry into his expensive car.
The man literally broke down crying and ran back towards the parking lot. We never saw him again, and while it didn't make the whole festival sad, it did awkward-up the next hour or so, as every single bystander who'd witnessed the incident wanted to chat about it while ordering their food.
15.) From bluecheetos:
Wedding where the bride was convinced she was friends with all the "society" people she'd ever met. She spent an obscene amount of money on the food for her "simple" reception. Instead of the usual pre-made heat and eat finger foods she had each one special made by an executive chef. She could have easily done a sit down dinner for half of what she spent. She rented a large reception hall. The bride invited 300 people, there were less than 40 there and most of them were family or the few people she worked with. The reception was horrible...a giant space with tons of food and we had more tables than people. The bride was noticeably embarrassed. The wedding planner made everyone crowd around four tables in one corner and literally coached people into posing so they could take pictures that didn't look like the place was empty. Same thing with the dance floor. Everyone was on the floor whether they were dancing or not just so it would look good in the pictures. The planned 2 hour reception was over in 30 minutes.
The couple left for their honeymoon, we threw rice, most people left for their cars. Those of us who had to go back in for whatever reason got handed empty to-go boxes by the caterers and were told to fill them and take them, whatever we left was going in the trash. I ended up with 10 pounds of bacon wrapped ribeye bites and more boiled shrimp than I could eat in a week. There was still enough food to feed an army so they were taking it to one of the local charity kitchens to see if they wanted it.
TLDR: Went to a wedding where nobody showed up so the family faked it.
16.) From soullessginger15:
This happened to my coworker: years ago she had a physical relationship with a man, who she later found out was engaged. Guess whose wedding she ended up catering?
17.) From SouthGaDJ:
The same day my wife and I split up because she was cheating on me I had to DJ a party for a military guy who was about to be deployed. Having to watch he and his wife just be in total love with each other and cherishing that last bit of time together before he was deployed was just torture.
I think in my 12 years or so DJ'ing private parties that is the only one where I absolutely did not want to be there.
18.) From [deleted]:
Worked a private party one time as a server (long time ago, 15+ years maybe) and apparently it was some super-rich c*nt that was "finally" leaving her job and retiring. Some executive or something. She rented an entire restaurant for a single evening. It was a planet hollywood, and we had a full staff that night for this, she said there were hundreds of people coming.
Only three people showed up. The cooks laughed their asses off that night, they only made three meals and the lady had a total meltdown t the end of the night, apparently it was some kind of "conspiracy" against her.
But no... She was just a huge bitch and her co-workers didn't want to come to her party.
19.) From [deleted]:
Not a caterer, but a DJ for an awkward party. I was running live music for this rich girls sweet 16. She was the type of person that refused to grow up so the party was almost like a 10 year olds party. Everything was in pink and yellow, even the food. There were kiddish party games like twister and a trampoline. Not to mention half the songs she requested were old Hannah Montana songs. Even her friends seemed uncomfortable.
The life of a student involves years of pumping out papers while living in a haze of sleep deprivation and delirium. Most of the time, the buckets of coffee and adderall and sheer willpower help push you through to the end goal, but there are times where the delirium takes over and you click "send" on a paper that is far from finished.
Of course, sending homework that doesn't feel up to its potential is a far different scenario than sending a paper full of swear words or hilariously offensive nicknames for professors.
The internet, in all its beauty, is chock-full of people willingly sharing their school gaffes, and it's a thing of hilarity and beauty.
Here are 24 students who undoubtedly wish they'd proof-read their work.
Luckily, her professor thought the paper was well-written, and seemed genuinely concerned for her welfare.
Every pet owner has experienced the sheer panic that arises when your fur baby starts to display strange behavior, like refusing to go outside or hiding under the bed.
You think Fido is dying because he's been hiding in the closet all week and won't eat, so you race him to the vet, panic in the waiting room for an hour, and then Fido gets up, sniffs some other dog's balls, barks at a cat, and the vet is like, "I dunno your dog seems extremely normal, maybe he was in a mood?" And then you give the vet $500 for nothing and sulk home, cursing at Fido, who is now chilling in the backseat with his head out the window.
Pets can't talk, so how are we supposed to know when Fluffy is legitimately sick or just being pouty?
"I STRAIGHT UP CRIED THINKING ABOUT LEWIS DYING AND IT TURNS OUT HIS JUST MAD HE DIDNT BEAT THE NEIGHBOURHOOD CAT IN THEIR CAT FIGHT CLUBS LMAOOO," the emo cat's owner added on Twitter.
Louis is back to his old self now, but I swear he’s plotting against me lmaooooo tried telling him he’s internet famous but i don’t think he cares. pic.twitter.com/xk7WxeS2QJ
— PaladinAmber (@PaladinAmber) January 5, 2020
1. The cat who was mourning the loss of the neighbor cat.
I did the same thing! Convinced my cat was terribly ill, I took him to the vet who told me he was physically fine. Talking to a neighbour a few days later I discovered one of his cats, my cat's bestie, had died. 😔 My baby was in mourning.
— 'Buxom Brandy' (@BuxomBrandy) January 4, 2020
2. The cat who went on a "hunger strike" to protest his owner's boyfriend going out of town.
This past summer my cat stopped eating, drinking, etc., so I took her to the vet and it turns out she was just on a hunger strike because my boyfriend was away for the week 🤦🏻♀️
— OnePageAtATimeBooks (@OnePageAtATime_) January 4, 2020
3. The cat who forced herself to throw up every time the "cat sitter" arrived.
This is how my cat looks when my friend who cat-sits her comes over. She loves him but is very cranky. She’s also made herself throw up. pic.twitter.com/KGql7pf19I
— Salem 🌉 (@SassKnight) January 4, 2020
4. The cat who seemed to be in a coma, but was just trying to hunt a lizard.
I was cleaning my house when suddenly she haven't moved for like 2 mins (she was cleaning herself at the time). I was genuinely concerned, tried shaking her, tried closing her eyes, yet she doesn't budge.
— Crazy Cat Ladyyyyyy (@imcrazycatlady1) January 5, 2020
Reason? (1) pic.twitter.com/WxkzUkIBok
She saw a big lizard that caught her attention.
— Crazy Cat Ladyyyyyy (@imcrazycatlady1) January 5, 2020
This must be her brain during that time.
"How to hunt that lizard?" pic.twitter.com/4SV0jWeYLg
5. The cat who was diagnosed as a "stinky boi" when his owner thought he had a kidney disease.
My cat Teddy has such foul pee that the rescue thought he might have kidney conditions. The vet just diagnosed him, and I quote, as a “very stinky boy.” pic.twitter.com/PmcWMafIdP
— The Rum Tum Thomas (@OldPappyThomas) January 4, 2020
6. The dog was who scared of a possum.
Once, my childhood dog suddenly refused to go outside and was shivering behind the couch for a solid 24 hours, so Dad took him to the vet fearing the worst. We spent $120 to find out a possum that was living under our trailer hissed at him and he was traumatized. Pets, I stg-
— Sydney Rearick (@SydneyRearick) January 5, 2020
7. The cat who wasn't dying, but was just horny.
My cat was the same way. My husband and I sold most of our stuff to take him to the vet just to find out he was horny 🤦🏼♀️😂
— ashley jo (@ashleyjob17) January 4, 2020
8. The dog who faked a limp to avoid peeing on the grass.
I had one who would limp to avoid going to the grass to pee. But she’d forget and switch paws. 😂
— Lowrider 🥃 (@lshoes32_) January 5, 2020
9. The cat who went "limp" when he got too gassy.
Our cat stopped eating and was lethargic. He'd cry when we picked him up. He became super limp and we rushed to the ER at 2 in the morning. Turns out he had a severe case of gas. Farted while the vet was examing him. They gave him some antigas med and sent us home. 😐
— Rangermonk (@rangermonk1) January 5, 2020
10. The dog who feigns illness just so he can get a treat at the vet.
Animals are funny. My uncles dog was scared the first couple of times he went to the vet so the receptionist gave him a treat. Now whenever he goes to the vet he is happy until he gets to the reception desk and then he just acts scared because he thinks he will get a treat.
— Miss Mortis (@MementoMortis_) January 5, 2020
11. The cat who pretends to be sick whenever her owner puts on her work uniform.
Animals are funny. My uncles dog was scared the first couple of times he went to the vet so the receptionist gave him a treat. Now whenever he goes to the vet he is happy until he gets to the reception desk and then he just acts scared because he thinks he will get a treat.
— Miss Mortis (@MementoMortis_) January 5, 2020
12. The cat who was depressed when their owner renovated the bathroom.
One time my parents renovated their bathroom and then our cat got super lethargic and wouldn't eat. We naively assumed those events were not connected. One vet trip later, turns out the cat was depressed he couldn't drink from the leaky tub faucet anymore.
— Dreams of Laputa (@MadelineZ78) January 5, 2020
13. The cat who faked being sick so their owner would keep hand-feeding them.
My cat had a mystery accident, got stitched up & sent home, spent three days lying motionless on a blanket letting me feed her by hand & even *drip water into her mouth* until I left the room &, thinking I couldn’t see her, she hopped up & sauntered over to help herself to treats
— Lucy Wainwright (@Whoozley) January 5, 2020
14. The duck who pretended to have a limp to get attention.
i had a pet duck named penelope who faked a limp to get attention when we went out of town for the weekend. he had a xray and spent the night at the vet’s office for observation, all to discover the duck was a drama king.🦆🦆🦆
— captain foresight (@vanadiumzest) January 5, 2020
15. The fish that killed smaller fish when it didn't get enough face time with its owner.
While I was growing up my dad had a fish tank and the biggest fish in the tank would kill off a smaller fish if my dad didn’t come by once a day. It stopped when my dad taped a picture of himself to the tank so the fish would know he was there and still cared about them.
— McKenna Smith (@mjs_318) January 5, 2020
16. The dog who "couldn't walk" until his owner took off his Christmas sweater.
My dog acted like he couldn’t walk when I put him in a Christmas sweater. He literally pretended his legs didn’t work so I would take it off. Sigh...
— Emily Schaffhausen (@silly_emily3) January 5, 2020
17. The dog who gets diarrhea whenever her owner's boyfriend is gone.
My dog gets depressed when she doesn’t see my boyfriend for a few days and, without fail, gets absolutely TERRIBLE diarrhea. But the second she sees him she’s fine and won’t have it again until they’re apart for over 3 days 🙄 talk about a drama queen pic.twitter.com/rEeWlGESSp
— meg ˁ⁽͑˙˚̀ˆ̇˚́˙⁾̉ˀ (@meganitram) January 5, 2020
We spend approximately %150 of our lives at work (feel free to double-check my math, but that's how it feels). So statistically it makes sense that some of the weirdest things to happen in life will take place during work hours. On the bright side: if you're going to have awkward, uncomfortable and surreal experiences, you may as well get paid for them!
1.) From Greystreet21:
While working at a supermarket, I was walking through the dairy department and saw a fellow employee over by the eggs. As I got closer I could see him with a carton open and he seemed to be turning each egg. After doing the whole pack, I asked him what he was doing and he responded, “the manager asked me to rotate the eggs.” I facepalmed and explained what they actually meant, to which he replied, “that makes a lot more sense.”
For context, in the grocery world, to rotate means to make sure the earliest dates of expiration are towards the front of the shelf.
2.) From DeeMountain:
One guy did a spicy wing challenge at lunch. Later that afternoon he was on the floor of his cubicle moaning and crying and saying Fuck so many times (Very loudly) We tried to call an ambulance but he was adamant that he was going to be fine.
3.) From Ajoc27:
In a creche/daycare. One of the moms dropped off her baby & when handing him to one of the staff she kissed the staff member on the face and said "love you" and went off to work. Phoned a couple hours later to say "I've just realised what I did this morning. I'm so sorry, I was half asleep and I guess I'm so used to handing him to my husband" we had a good laugh
4.) From jac0bk:
I work in a kindergarden for kids with special needs. One kid kept going for a quiet place few times a day, and we figured he just needed some time alone. This was outside in the playground where there was a little treehouse in the back behind some trees. On the third day of this happening I went to see what's up and encourage him to talk about why he needed time alone. I found him sitting on the ground eating one big spoon full of sand after the other. We're not just talking baby eating sand here - more like a medium sized kid shoveling sand down his stomach like it was his favourite food. So yeah this little boy probably ate A LOT of sand during those three days and probably longer.
He's fine now - 2. Grader now - kicked me in the butt when I saw him in a grocery store a week ago.
5.) From XyloArch:
Worked at big outdoor activities centre a few summers, there's lots of behind-the-scenes areas where the public can't see. Saw a new guy (who was definitely some friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend 'favour' hire from someone higher up) not know where the toilets were so just take a shit in a hedge behind scenes (I found him mid-shit). He proceeded to makes really crude moves on all the women and I later found him receiving a blow job from a guy in the same hedge. He was asked to leave.
6.) From Early2000sRnB:
When I had an internship in an office, the second highest boss opened the door without knocking, stared at us aggressively, walked towards us and offered a box of chocolate marshmallows. Then he went out. He didn't say one word.
7.) From DeadSheepLane:
I watched the neighbor get caught by her husband mid-cheat. This was the last home hospice job I did. The clients bedroom was at the back of the house and had a large window that faced the front of the neighbors across a dirt road. We were sitting mid morning drinking a cups and watching the birds in the low hedge when we saw a naked man suddenly sprint across the side yard into the old garage followed by the just as naked wife and a few seconds later the husband. Lot of screaming follows then the naked man took off across the field and disappeared into the orchard. Several minutes pass before we see the wife dash over to her car, still naked, get in and drive off.
My client, who was quite a spitfire of a lady her entire life, turned to me very deadpan and said “I’m glad I lived long enough to see that”. We didn’t stop laughing the rest of the day.
8.) From Jaydeeem89:
I work in an office and thought it would be funny to put googly eyes on my coworkers desk one day. Everyone had a good laugh over it and a couple weeks I found googly eyes on all my stuff. It became a game of who could arrange googlys on peoples desk in the most creative/funny manner. It was hilarious.. Then one of the adjacent departments caught wind of the good times we were having and started doing the same. Cue a month later and there are fucking googly eyes EVERYWHERE. It was absurd. On the drinking fountains, clocks, vending machines, garbage cans, toilets, you name it, there were googly eyes littered all over the goddamn place. The custodians started complaining that they couldnt keep up with the mess. Visiting customers would look around at the googly spectacle in disbelief of the unprofessionalism. The head managers had to hold team meetings to talk to all the teams about removing all googly eyes.. and of course since I started it, any time a rogue googly eye popped up months later, I got a stern look from my boss.
The day that I quit there (or get fired, more likely), there will be an unleashing of googly eyes that will be unrivalled. People will be fucking swimming through piles of googly eyes just to get to their completely googly eye covered desks. The vents will be spitting out plastic eyeballs of all shapes and sizes. People will open their lunches they brought from home and gasp in shock as they find nothing but little beady shaky eyes looking up from their tupperware. There. Will. Be. GOOGLY EYES.
9.) From StylishSuidae:
I actually wrote up a whole encounter with my strange russian coworker the other day, but I can't get to tumblr on my work computer. My weirdest counter with him though was I had to go into the lab during lunch and he was in there:
with all the lights off
wearing nothing but an undershirt
lifting a single weight
with Let's Grove by Earth, Wind, and Fire at full volume playing from his computer.
Also his desk neighbor has had to make one of his monitors vertical because Igor will change at his desk in the middle of the office.
Edit: I've added below the tumblr post I wrote about him
I’m sure many of you are familiar with John Mulaney’s ducklings bit. Today I’d like to tell you all about the Henry J. Finch of my workplace. He’s a small old Russian man named Igor. Normally I change people’s names when I tell stories about them on the internet. However, given this guy is literally a Soviet era Russian named Igor, it would be a disservice to the story to tell it any other way. Ridiculous shit happens with him all the time, [story from above].
But today, I want to recount just what happened in a single software review with this guy. It started out great when he showed up half an hour late to an hour long meeting because he didn’t realize that we were having our weekly software review at the same time on the same day that we always have it. The department manager asked him where he was, and he said “in a machine diving”. Now Igor has a very thick Russian accent, so it’s reasonable to assume that you misunderstood something when what he said doesn’t make sense; and we work on non-aquatic trains, so diving really doesn’t make sense. The department manager asked “driving?” and Igor said “no, diving!” and mimed swimming. The department manager decided to leave that one alone.
A few minutes later we were talking about having to send someone up to Richmond to meet with a company there. Igor interrupted everyone to say “Richmond is the capital of Virginia”. And y'know what? He’s right. It sure is.
Eventually we got to reviewing his tasks, and every single one was on the backlog save one, which was on hold. He wasn’t actively working on any of them. And only one of them had a projected end date: February 28, 2022. Now I know that most people aren’t software engineers, so let me explain that these tasks should usually be anywhere from a day to a week, maybe a month if it’s a really big one. Not 25 months. But this kind of thing is normal for Igor so let’s move on to the next thing. He croaked. It sounded just like a frog. He opened the corner of his mouth and croaked. And absolutely nobody acknowledged it.
A few minutes later someone asked who the cube avatar was. Every person in this system has an avatar that shows up on all of their tasks so that you can tell who each task is assigned to. Since the mine was the cube avatar I let the asker know, then Igor perked up and said “A cube! Square on all sides!” Then he let out a slight chuckle and settled back down in his seat, and continued “born perfectly…”
All of this took place inside the half hour that he was actually in the meeting, and barely any of it was acknowledge by the more senior employees.
10.) From Sarcastrophe49:
I used to be a movie theater manager in college. One night, I was preparing the next projector for showing (on a 35mm camera, so no digital), and I looked into the auditorium that I thought was empty and saw a guy receiving a handjob from a girl. But this was no regular handjob: the dude was stroking each of her right foot toes individually in a precise rhyhtm with the girl stroking him. He had a very efficient lotion-application system for her toes where he would squeeze lotion onto one toe while he stroked the next toe, never missing a beat (or a toe). Clarence Carter would've been proud of this stroking efficiency (see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7gMkiOPSeA).
Upon seeing this, I did what any responsible manager would do: I called the other manager up from the box office to assess the situation. He confirmed that this man was receiving a handjob while toe stroking and we laughed so hard we thought that they heard us.
At this point, I'm guessing they had been stroking each other for at least 13 minutes, so I figured that the guy was probably close to climaxing soon. So, I turned the overhead house lights in the auditorium on and off a few times. The guy stood straight up, hit his erect penis on the cup holder while turning, pulled up his pants quickly, and ran down the stairs and out of the exit door leading directly outside to the parking lot. Bro straight up left his girl there.
She eventually left, too, and I never saw them again.
11.) From Benjaminbuttcrack:
I worked the cameras at a casino and there was a kid (old enough to drink) who was given a free room to stay in because he was about to drive drunk. Instead of taking the room, he checked in, walked out the back exit, ran down a hill, ran full speed along the highway, army crawled his way up to his car, got in, drove off the parking lot, and was pulled over immediately.
12.) From ostentia:
It was a really slow day and I kept getting distracted from the Lord of the Rings fanfiction I was reading by the weird squeaky noises I kept hearing behind me. I finally turned around and there was my manager, a 35 year old man, about 3/4 of the way done with making a balloon animal crown for his life-sized Homer Simpson statue. I asked him to make me a doggie when I was done, and he did--a blue one. I kept it until I accidentally popped it, which scared the shit out of one of my other coworkers.
13.) From justalurkerkthxbai:
One Monday morning, at 8AM, there was a frog in the lobby. Not a small frog, either--a big frog. The front doors were still locked and it was Monday morning, so we had no idea how the little guy got into the lobby. He would've had to have hopped all the way from the back of the building to get to the lobby.
14.) From Tall_Mickey:
This was in the '80s at a bad software company run entirely by men. Wonder of wonders, an extremely competent and popular woman programmer was appointed to a management position in Development.
The younger developers decided to have a parade. She was of Scandinavian descent, so they made for her a horned helmet and sword out of aluminum foil, and made for her a sedan chair out of a wooden chair with a couple of pieces of lumber under the arms for support.
Then they carried her outside on the chair while she waved her "sword," and paraded her around the parking lot at the head of a long column of programmers wearing fish hats and throwing firecrackers. I never understood the fish hats. Edit: And kazoo music. I forgot that.
Those were the days...
15.) From sugarthnder:
Was at technical school, but I had that friend who was setting up a firewall for schools of the region. It meant that he had to check if porn sites were blocked, they were not. Most striking is having my friend and our teacher behind him looking at porn sites during class.
The good old days...
16.) From raven_darkseid:
I worked in a small office. There was a front lobby area with a conference room off to the side. It was separated by a door from the rest of the office. So I'm sitting at my desk, just working, and I hear screaming from the front lobby area, like straight up someone is being murdered screaming.
Everyone in the office area is freaking out, assuming there was a robbery or something horrible happening in the front. I hear someone shrieking for help, so I'm like okay this is clearly not a dangerous situation, it must be a medical emergency or something like that. I tell one of my coworkers to call 911. I proceed to open the door quietly and walk towards the lobby. I do not see anyone, even the receptionist, but the screaming is still going on from inside the conference room. I slowly open the door and find about 8 people on top of the table, including the owners of the company and a couple clients. I'm just staring at them, seriously confused about what I just walked into.
I look down and see a tiny little field mouse hopping around in circles around the table. I picked the little guy up and became the hero of the day. 911 dispatched a couple of police officers over a tiny mouse. My raise that year was substantially higher than usual.
17.) From AbortRetryImplode:
Work in a small university department that's not related to anything medical at all. Someone left four vials of blood (like the sealed kind from a phlebotomy lab) in our lost and found.
Had someone leave a flier on our departmental billboard that was, as far as we could tell, for a Nazi cosplay orgy....which now that I've typed it would probably be an interesting band name.
And the semester isn't over until you've happened across a homeless person furiously jacking off in public.
Weird shit happens on college campuses.
18.) From GOAT188:
A large heavy set man falling down a set of stairs what seemed to be in slow motion and once he got to bottom he screamed MY BALLS! Then he got up, picked up what ever fried snack he was eating and casually walked away as if it never happened.
19.) From dried_up_waterparks:
I work in downtown Toronto. My job requires that I go to those high end consultancy firms every once and awhile. The big names. You'd know them.
One morning I was walking into the building for an all day meeting. Normal fall day. Cold.
The lobby was beautiful as always. Chandelier. Big glass windows. As I headed over the elevators I looked towards a commotion at the door.
A well groomed, middle aged, man was screaming at the top of his lungs by the revolving door. Naked. Totally. Naked. His suit was neatly folded on a bench and he had just lost it.
Apparently he was a partner at this firm and the stress got to him. He just... Snapped.
20.) From gabezermeno:
Our office shares a bathroom with the Dental office next door. The densist is a weirdo. I'll walk in and he will jump like he was doing something he wasn't supposed to. There are other things but he comes off as slimy.
(Drugs. He's doing drugs.)
21.) From firenamedgabe:
Was in a big meeting in a construction trailer and answer a knock on the door. Two guys look like a coupes laborers, dirty clothes shirts have contractor names on them. Ask for a guy with a picture on a cell phone and name a company that’s onsite. It’s a large site with a couple hundred workers no way for me to know. Say I can go get their foreman from the meeting.
At this point one very discreetly pulls a US Marshals badge out of his front pocket. Tells me to get the foreman but not to make any disturbances. The guy they’re looking fire moves drugs, and apparently also finishes Sheetrock for fun I guess. Says they’ve got the five acre site surrounded and if this guy finds out they’re here things would go bad quickly.
Turns out the guy wasn’t there but still pretty weird.
22.) From HuhWhatQue:
Two things come to mind from when I worked at department store in college:
- A woman came into the store, went through the perfume aisle, took a few bottles into the layaway storage room, and drank them. This was all right before closing, maybe 10 minutes, or so. Watching this on camera was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
- Some dude came in strumming a banjo as he followed his SO around as she shopped. I, and all of my coworkers, searched for someone with a camera to see if it was some sort of gag, but nope. Dude just walked the aisles with his girl playing the banjo to keep himself occupied.
