Actress/singer/Wizard of Waverley Place Selena Gomez has signed onto star in filmmaker/clarinet player/accused sexual abuser Woody Allen's new film. She's taken up the mantle of Woody Allen's Muse™, a title once held by such women as Diane Keaton, Scarlett Johansson, Emma Stone, and most recently, Miley Cyrus.

Many young actors have disappointed fans by participating in one of Woody's annual movies, but this one seems particularly surprising. Gomez recently produced the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why, which in addition to leading to an uptick in suicidal ideation deals with issues of rape and sexual assault.

People are calling her a hypocrite for working with an alleged rapist, enabling him to continue having a career despite his crimes.

The untitled film will also star Elle Fanning and Timothée Chalamet. No word on the synopsis just yet, but in all likelihood, it'll feature:

1. A man in a relationship with a much younger woman

2. A neurotic Jew trying to make it in a WASPy world

3. A period setting with gorgeous costumes to distract you from a lack of plot

4. The South of France, probably.

Elle Fanning's fans are pissed, too.

Today, Woody Allen's name is synonymous with "marrying your daughter" as it is for making Annie Hall, the former not excusing the latter. Stars have made an art out of defending themselves for teaming with a man accused of heinous crimes.

In 2014, Dylan Farrow, Allen's adoptive daughter who accused him of sexual abuse, wrote an open letter about the allegations. She called on actors to consider the crimes before signing the contract.

What if it had been your child, Cate Blanchett? Louis C.K.? Alec Baldwin? What if it had been you, Emma Stone? Or you, Scarlett Johansson? You knew me when I was a little girl, Diane Keaton. Have you forgotten me?

Woody Allen is a living testament to the way our society fails the survivors of sexual assault and abuse.

Even if the movie's good, it's bad.

Ever since online reviews came to be, people no longer have to rely on professional food critics to rate restaurants. People can give reviews to any place they eat, and those reviews can make or break a business. Users of sites like Yelp and Trip Advisor count on the other members to be honest about the good and bad parts of their meals and experiences, but sometimes there are people who are holding a grudge over something ridiculous.

Case in point, this Trip advisor review from an Australian man who ate at a restaurant called Eala Bhan while vacationing in Sligo, Ireland. While he didn't leave the absolutely dreaded one-star review (he gave three stars), he did have a bone to pick to pick with the restaurant manager, and he decided to do so on a very public forum.

Apparently the man found the food to be fine, but after leaving the restaurant, realized he'd forgotten his jacket and glasses. He called and spoke to the manager, named Anthony Gray, who said they did indeed have the items, and agreed to send them to the man in Australia. The man gave his credit card info to the manager, so all shipping costs for the jacket and glasses would be covered.

However, the items apparently didn't arrive quickly enough for the man, who, after a week or so, emailed two more times, but received no response from the restaurant. So the disgruntled customer took it upon himself to review the restaurant on Trip Advisor, writing, "Bottom line is Food might be O.K. But integrity is seriously lacking." OUCH.

This obviously didn't sit too well with the Gray, who responded directly to the unhappy customer's review with a missive of his own.

Gray wrote,

Dear Graham,
I never usually respond to reviews but have made a exception in your case.
We are delighted you enjoyed your meal at multi award winning restaurant here in Sligo serving the finest local sourced ingredients on the very edge of the beautiful Wild Atlantic Way!

I apologise that you forgot your jacket and glasses while dining with us. I apologise that I had not immediately sent your belongings back to Australia. I should have done a Joe ninety on it and hot tailed it up to the local post office and made your jacket a priority but unfortunately these things don't always happen the way you may have planed. I mean I'm only trying to run 2 restaurants in the middle of summer while my manager whom I'm delighted to say is 6 months pregnant but unfortunately is suffering God bless her wee soul and out of work resting which i insisted on!!!

Having 3 children myself under the age of 10 running around the house like
gladiators and tearing to pieces while not going to bed on time, rising like ninjas at dawn I am what you might say just a little tired and a tad busy . I should have pushed this way up my priority list but forgot and while all of this is going I'm very busy busting a gut here and in the UK promoting my beloved Sligo. Why do I do this? I love my town, I love it's people, I love every tourist that graces this beautiful part of the world and provides me and my staff with a living.

People make mistakes and forget things just like you did with your possessions. But to come on TripAdvisor and review me about my lack of postal skills honesty and integrity beggars belief considering I never laid my mince pies eyes on you ! I mean you are butchering my name insofar as my forgetfulness yet it was your forgetfulness that has us here!!!! POT KETTLE BLACK ( Google it) finally I just checked the weather forecast in your part of sunny Australia and I reckon you will be fairly safe insofar as your lack of windbreaker......jaysus it's roasting in your spot boi!! You lucky duck!!!

Your possessions are en route you will be glad to know!!! and as far as my honesty is concerned I'm not even going to charge your credit card for the post furthermore the next time you visit the beautiful Emerald Isle and my County I'll bring you shopping locally for a new Wind breaker as far i see its a bit of a crime against fashion.

Next time you feel like writing a review for a restaurant try to remember us for our qualities which we provide in the abundance of good locally sourced food wine, atmosphere at least that's what we hear consistently from our customers.

So eventually when it cools down in Australia and you put on your Wind breaker on think of your honesty Irish restauranteur who's full of integrity but you never met and who knows you may even break into a smile and give your face a holiday until then keep her lit .

WE MAKE OUT OF THE QUARREL WITH OTHERS,
RHETORIC, BUT OF THE QUARREL WITH OURSELVES
POETRY.............. W.B YEATS

Regards and Good day Mate
Anthony Gray

TL;DR—Gray thanked the Australian customer for eating at his establishment, and apologized for not getting the jacket and glasses back to him sooner. He explained (very politely) that he's trying to run two restaurants while his manager is taking some time off due to being six months pregnant. He added that he has three kids of his own, all under the age of 10, who keep him pretty busy, so he just forgot about mailing the items to Australia.

However, he pointed out that a man who forgot something at a restaurant probably shouldn't make such a huge deal out of another person forgetting something, too ("POT KETTLE BLACK"). Gray wrote that since his integrity was being questioned, he didn't even bother using the customer's credit card to pay for shipping, instead just covering the costs himself. He also added that he'd looked up the weather in the customer's part of Australia and it was really hot. So hot, even, that no one would really need a windbreaker.

The only bit of shade Gray threw was when he offered to buy the Australian man a new windbreaker should he ever find himself in Sligo again, referring to the current jacket as "a bit of a crime against fashion."

Mic dropped.

Kesha's new album 'Rainbow' comes out this week, and it's going to be an emotional journey. But first, an emotional press tour,

Kesha appeared on Good Morning America to perform 'Praying,' the album's first single, which is laden with not-so-thinly veiled references to her alleged sexual abuse at the hands of her former producer Dr. Luke. It's a strong, powerful song, and Kesha is strong and powerful to perform it on live television. But it's clear that she's still dealing with all the trauma that led to the song's existence.

GMA host Robin Roberts gently questions Kesha about the song: "It's so deep and personal, talking about depression and suicide. Just tell us the meaning behind 'Praying.'" Kesha hesitates and gets choked up before she can respond.

"It's so personal," she says. "I've written every song on this album and they're all so personal. This song is really important because it talks about me personally going through something very hard... making it through, not giving up, and finding empathy on the other side."

"I think this record is quite literally saving my life," she says.

Fans tweeted out their support and gratitude for Kesha's making it through a tough moment.

"If I can make it through the song, I'm going to be singing it," said Kesha. Spoiler alert: She made it. Watch the emotional performance below:

When Rachel and Joey briefly "dated" on Friends, their relationship didn't get much respect from fans, or the show's writers. But by clinging to the tired, predictable and, let's be honest, ultimately doomed relationship between Ross and Rachel, the show deprived us of what could have been the greatest love story of our time.

When Friends super-fan @kaneandgriffin dropped this bombshell theory about Rachel and Joey being each others' lobsters this whole time, Twitter is here for it. It just makes so much sense.

^^^THIS. A THOUSAND TIMES THIS.

Okay, so now let's talk about ROSS.

GREAT QUESTION.

It does seem like their whole relationship was based on jealousy and possessiveness.

And remember that Mark thing? Ross was a jealous nightmare. How is that a guy you want to end up with????

And now, back to Joey:

He's definitely unapologetically promiscuous, that's true.

YEAH, ROSS GELLER. WHAT'S GOOD?!

This theory stacks up:

Congrats folks, we made it through argument #1. Convinced, yet? Because we're just getting started. Let's move on to ARGUMENT #2:

Ugh seriously, same.

Back to that jealousy thing... should've been a huge deal-breaker.

Truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue!

Others are only just now realizing they hate Ross. WELCOME.

Like I said, this thread is blowing minds and changing lives.

But not everyone is convinced. Some people are still defending Ross and calling out Rachel.

To be fair, Rachel's behavior wasn't always great either. But neither was Joey's. That's why they're perfect for each other!

Here's the alternate ending we all need:

See???? HE'S HER LOBSTER. It was right there before our eyes this whole time.

Looking for something to tweet while Trump rages about North Korea? Wondering what you can shout into the internet while Trump brags about the nuclear arsenal? Racking your brain for something relevant to say now that Trump's in a pissing match with Kim Jong-un?

May we humbly offer you the above tweet from 2013, from the now-President of the United States himself.

"Be prepared," wrote Trump in 2013. "There is a small chance that our horrendous leadership could unknowingly lead us into World War III."

Very self-aware.

As often happens when Trump perfectly criticizes himself from the past, Twitter's enjoying the irony in the best way you can enjoy something while experts warn of the escalating chances of a nuclear catastrophe.

It seems with every new Trump move, there's an old tweet that speaks perfectly to it.

2013 Trump would have had even more supporters.

So look, if you're trying to say something witty as Trump inevitably continues to rant about North Korea from his 17-day vacation...

...take some inspiration from old Trump. He's got some good ideas. And about 40,000 tweets for you to look through.

There are a few rules for modern pregnancy: Wait three months before you tell friends and extended family, document your gender reveal party for Instagram, and, now, be careful what you post on Facebook.

Danielle, an Australian mom-to-be who already has 17-month-old twins, had her moment ruined, basically all thanks to Mark Zuckerberg.

According to Yahoo, Danielle realized the rest of the family already knew she was pregnant when she got a Facebook message from her mother-in-law asking about the status of her uterus.

"My husband was going to tell his family any day now," said Danielle. "They were hurt that they find out that way but it wasn't intentional to not tell them - we just wanted to make sure all was good at the 20-week scan. My immediate family sees me often so they kind of had to know from my bump."

It turns out that a distant cousin had done a bit of Facebook detective work (we've all been there, can't blame her for that) and determined that Danielle was pregnant. Danielle had posted on a private Facebook group asking if anyone could adopt her dog. "I said we can't keep it as we have young kids and another on the way," explains Danielle.

The slight is even more frustrating when Danielle reveals that she doesn't even know this nosy cousin. "I've only met her twice. She didn't even message me to confirm or anything - we could have miscarried by now and she had told everyone anyway without even confirming," she said. Word to the wise: If you're going to out someone's pregnancy, at least shoot them a congratulations text first.

When the cousin was confronted, all she had to say was 'well you should be careful what you post on Facebook!''

This baby's entry in the world may be dramatic, but it's a lesson to all of us: Don't become Facebook friends with your family.

Lots of people get tattoos representing their favorite band or artist, but one anonymous Beyoncé fan has taken it to the next level by getting some very large tattoos of her twins names, Sir and Rumi, on his hands.

That is certainly some dedication. Especially considering that a lot of people are not going to know that those are the names of Beyoncé's children and are just going to assume you are into leather and also 13th century Persian poets. Which could make for some very interesting conversations, at the very least.

Notably, even Bey and Jay-Z do not even have tattoos of their children's names, which causes one to wonder -- what, exactly, was the thought process for this? What did that entail? "Oh man, I love Beyoncé so much. I will show my love by getting the names of her children tattooed on my hands, and then probably she will want to be my best friend! Surely this will never be a weird thing to explain in a professional setting!"

What if someday he has his own kids, and they grow up with a complex because he's got Beyoncé's kids names on his hands instead of theirs?

Did he consider how she would feel? I mean, it's possible she is OK with it, but if I were a famous person with kids and someone got my new baby's name tattooed on their hands, I would be concerned. To say the least.

Just saying, someone should probably check and make sure he's not a real big fan of Catcher in the Rye.

Sharon Stone just tweeted a clip of her audition for the 1992 thriller Basic Instinct and it will remind you that 1) that movie rocks and 2) Sharon Stone is the GOAT.

In recent years, the audition tape had been floating around the internet, but the actress tweeted it outright Wednesday afternoon for "way back Wednesday" (designated for people too impatient to wait for "throwback Thursday"). So even if you've seen it around before, it is definitely worth a second (or third or fourth) watch:

The drink. The cigs. The flirting. IT'S ALL JUST TOO GOOD. She nails it.

Back in 2009, The New York Post reported that Stone wore "an Armani pantsuit and a sheer blouse with no bra underneath just to show she had no problem with nudity," and after eight months of auditioning, finally snagged the role.

In a 1996 interview with The Guardian, Stone spoke more about the nudity in the film, alluding to *that* scene.

"I read the script and thought, 'Oh, man, somebody's going to be so good in this.' Then I went, 'Wait a second, you've got the screenplay, why'd they give it to you?' I never got why everybody didn't just die for the part. I guess a lot of people had more to lose than I did." Well, the nudity, for one thing. "I mean, so what?"

She later said that 12 different actresses turned down the role before it was offered to her, which is weird because could you imagine anyone else as Catherine Tramell ​​​​​?

But yeah, it's pretty clear they made the right choice in the end.

Currently going viral on Imgur, this is the coolest picture of a bruise you will see today. I don't know if you spend a lot of your day looking at bruises, but it would be hard to beat this work of art, an exercise in shape, color, and line.

Imgur user OctopussSevenTwo shared the pic with the title, "She was struck by, she was hit by, a fast soccer ball," getting Michael Jackson's "Smooth Criminal" stuck in everybody's heads.

"Annie" is presumably fine, or else it would be way too sad to put this picture on Imgur.

The more you stare at it, the more majestic it is. Yes, the ridges of the soccer ball hit so deep they got imprinted onto her skin, but it also looks like a demon Daddy Longlegs is attempting to crawl out.

The internet is rich with bruise content. While we're on the subject, check out this mesmerizing GIF of one healing.

And now back to pimple popping.

Twitter's favorite phrase is "Hold my beer." Millennials: "Hold my avocado."

A tweet by Ken Norton has gone viral after he upgraded the popular phrase to include the millennial generation because, as we all know, millennials are more concerned with #wellness and healthy fats than with drinking.

With over 54,000 retweets, the phrase has already gained a life of its own — and others are chiming in.

'Hold my avocado' encapsulates both the constant reality in 2017 that things will always get worse and the trope that millennials are spending all their money on avocado toast.

Have you ever come home from a bad date and thought "That was AWFUL. I should sue!"? Well, one woman has done just that, only she didn't sue her dates -- she sued the woman who set her up with them.

Over the course of three years, the Philadelphia Inquirer reports, 62-year-old former QVC executive Darlene Daggett paid high-end matchmaking service Kelleher International, owned by Amber Kelleher-Andrews, $150,000 to help her find the wealthy, eligible, "highly screened" bachelor of her dreams.

But not only did they not find her a find, nor catch her a catch -- few of the 25 dates they sent her out on resulted in a second -- but her lawsuit claims they also set her up with men who were "married, mentally unstable, physically ill, pathological liars, serial Lotharios, stalkers, convicted felons, unwilling or unable to travel and/or the subject of professional sanctions.”

Such dates included...

"[A] disgraced New York Supreme Court judge, a man who passed out from a heart ailment on their first date, and one potential paramour who purportedly told her he was waiting on his terminally ill wife to die before reentering the dating pool."

To be fair it is probably not the matchmaking services fault that the guy was sick.

Another date, whom she thought was a catch at first, was an Australian entrepreneur who later claimed he was doing work for Interpol and needed to "go dark" for a while. He went off on a trip and sent her messages that gave her the feeling he was involved in “clandestine operations taking place in Eastern Europe.”

But, it turned out he was actually on a 13-month whirlwind tour of the globe with his ex. Whoops!

And then there was the date who turned out to be a super creepy stalker criminal:

He cried during their first lunch date on a frigid day in February, noting that his wife had been killed on a similarly cold and rainy day. But over dinner together one evening in Philadelphia, Daggett received a voicemail from the man’s supposedly dead wife.

Mortified, her date explained that he had been raped as a child and was still dealing with trauma that compelled him to lie uncontrollably and cause pain and shame for others, Daggett’s suit claims.

Despite her attempts to cut off all contact, the suitor persisted — emailing Daggett, showing up outside her home, and eventually prompting her to hire an attorney to pursue a stalking complaint.

Several months later, the man was charged and convicted in an unrelated $10.5 million federal bank fraud case and is awaiting sentencing in a county jail in Virginia. His lawyer did not return calls for comment.

Daggett asked Kelleher to ensure that he not contact her, but he managed to anyway, putting her in fear for herself and her children.

The two parties have settled in court, although their attorneys won't reveal for how much.

Think before you tweet, people. Or you, too, could become an ignorance-fueled meme. Recently, a Canadian reporter named Michael Kane saw some Muslim women come out of a lingerie store in Toronto, Ontario. So he minded his own business and kept walking. JK, that's not what he did.

I'm just a reporter: saw two modestly-dressed women with religious headgear come out of Victoria's Secret store in the Eaton Centre

The tweet has since been deleted, but the internet never forgets. Someone screen grabbed the tweet before he took it down, shared it, and trolled him for tweeting about such a mundane occurrence:

LOL.

Others jumped in to make fun of the reporter for his dumb, dumb tweet:

While others just straight up called him out.

Just to be perfectly clear: Muslim women wear underwear, not that it's anyone's business.

And if you're still unsure why people are upset over Kane's tweet, this thread explains it:

Of course, Kane tried to save his own butt with this weak explanation:

It did not go well.

And then this happened:

Byeeeeee Michael!

But one good thing has emerged from all this. Meet your newest meme: "I'm just a reporter."

Walmart fucked up, big time. And not just by selling guns and underpaying their workers. But by selling guns, underpaying their workers AND this horrendously bad sign placement spotted at one of their stores by a Twitter user named Anthony:

Oh wow, that is bad. Really, really bad. As you can see, someone placed a back-to-school sign that reads "OWN THE SCHOOL YEAR LIKE A HERO" above a rack full of guns.

But a guy named Jared demanded receipts.

(They are sorry! Soooooo sorry!)

But then Walmart, who just claimed to have "removed the sign" themselves, switched up their story by saying there was "no such sign posted."

Ummm.

Okay.

Also, someone named Jordan shared the same disturbing photo and it, too, went viral:

Walmart apologized to him, too (they are SOOOOOOO sorry).

And then Jordan dropped the mic.

On Monday, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell—the man responsible for shepherding much of President Trump's agenda through Congress—tried to justify the so far dead Trumpcare bill by blaming Trump's "excessive expectations" for how quickly legislation should pass.

"Our new president, of course, has not been in this line of work before, and, I think, had excessive expectations about how quickly things happen in the democratic process," said McConnell, to a Rotary Group in Kentucky.

"And so, part of the reason people feel like we're under performing is because too many kind of artificial deadlines, unrelated to the reality of the complexity of legislating, may not have been fully understood."

Oh man, Trump hated that. He reportedly called McConnell to admonish him. Then, of course, on Wednesday afternoon and Thursday morning he took to Twitter to eviscerate him.

Naturally, publicly attacking the head of your party in the Senate is baffling to many. Then again, it's Donald Trump. Twitter reacted to the news with raised eyebrows nonetheless.

Elaine Chao, Mitch McConnell's wife, is Trump's Secretary of Transportation.

On Thursday, Trump also tweeted a certainly unscientific Twitter poll "proving" that he's a better president that Obama.

Most likely, someone put the results in his daily folder.

[Warning: This post contains spoilers for episode 4 of season 7 of HBO's Game of Thrones. If you're watching the show, catch up already!]

Last week's Game of Thrones episode has everyone guessing what's going to happen, ultimately, between Daenerys Targaryen, mother of dragons, and Cersei Lannister, mother of no one. Dany has the backing of the Dothraki army, three massive fire-breathing dragons, and an imperviousness to fire, while Cersei may be the coldest bitch television has ever seen. Either woman is tough enough for the job.

But one Redditor has a theory that Cersei may already have made her fatal error, and ironically, it has to do with the Lannisters always paying their debts. The Redditor posted this hypothesis:

We have seen Cersei's Modus Operandi over and over again. She makes a short term play that costs her in the long run.

Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank said some very revealing things this episode. One was that the Bank does not Bet on winners and losers, it instead invests in the chosen victor. He also says the bank will support the Iron Throne once their debt is paid, not necessarily the current Queen, but whoever is on the throne. Second he appears to be flattering her by saying Tywin never paid his debt in full and she is really outshining her father by doing so.

This is her big mistake, Tywin was no fool and he knew that while the Lannisters were in debt to the Bank the Bank had a vested interest in their success. By paying the debt in full Cersei has allowed Tycho to wash his hands of the Lannisters altogether. After what we saw on the battlefield we have a good idea whose position is strongest and who the Bank would like to back. This clearly contributes to the dire situation in Kings Landing with no grain and limited supplies. She will not Abdicate, instead force the dragons to destroy the city at which point the Kingslayer will be the Valonqar most assume he will be. The irony of this theory is in this case the Lannisters are undone by paying their debt.

This theory totally makes sense, and a lot of Reddit agrees (you can head on over there and check out the conversation). But basically it boils down to the fact that while the Lannisters still owed a lot of gold to the Iron Bank, the bank would have a vested interest in her success. But when Cersei repaid the bank the full amount owed, she sealed her fate—now the bank has no reason to back her and try to keep her alive.

And if the bank has to choose between Cersei and Dany, who do you think they'd go with? The woman currently trapped in her castle and quickly running out of supplies, or the woman not trapped, who just took out a large chunk of the Lannister army in a matter of minutes with her seemingly indestructible fire-breathing dragon? So, yeah.

It must be 2001 again, because Aaron Carter's personal life suddenly feels super relevant. In the past month, the singer came out as bisexual by sharing a heartfelt note on Twitter, he was arrested for a DUI and drug possession, and he and Madison Parker ended their relationship. Evidently, he got over the latter fairly quickly, because he just asked actress Chloe Grace Moretz out on Twitter. Twice. Guess that makes Moretz his Internet Girl!

To be fair, Carter's tweets were not entirely unprompted. In a new video with Variety, Moretz was asked to reveal her childhood celebrity crush. (Shout out to whoever edited this for including footage from vintage Aaron Carter music videos.)

"When I was four years old I thought Aaron Carter was so cool. And then my friend, when we were both little babies back in Georgia, she liked Aaron Carter too, and we used to fight over who would get Aaron Carter one day," Moretz explained. "Who knows, maybe we’ll meet?" she added with a touch of sarcasm.

Carter must not have sensed Moretz's sarcastic undertones, because he tweeted his desire to take her on a date.

His first tweet was in response to Women's Wear Daily, who tweeted an article about Moretz's decision to take a break from acting. 14 minutes later, he realized that posting it as a response to Variety's tweet about Moretz's childhood crush on him would probably make more sense. Aaron, oh Aaron!

Aaron, she had a crush on you 16 years ago. "Mutual" is probably not the right word at this point.

Moretz has yet to respond to Carter's tweet, as it's pretty unlikely she's still crushing on him. But Chloe, if Carter invites you to a house party, you should probably come get it.