These memes are filthy, nasty, and definitely NSFW. It takes a dirty mind to appreciate these memes. If you're easily offended, please do not scroll any further.
The prophet Margaret Atwood once said, "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them."
Well, Trump was laughed at by men and women alike, in multiple different languages, and on the world stage at the United Nations General Assembly. The Leader of the Free World was addressing his constituents at the UN, boasting that his administration "has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country."
The world was like, "LOL."
Seriously. They literally laughed out loud.
Trump heard the giggles, and said, "Didn't expect that reaction, but okay." The UN General Assembly broke the tension with some light, semi-reluctant applause.
How bad was the laughter? It was so bad that state TV Fox News edited it out.
The episode already got the Curb Your Enthusiasm treatment.
Of course there is an old Trump tweet perfect for this occasion.
Trump managed to get through the rest of the speech, which included some lines that sure sounded like the US was preparing for war with Iran, which did not get any laughs.
After the speech, Trump decided to unwind declaring without evidence that the women who accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault, are lying liars involved in a "Democratic con game" to smear the judge. Oh, and accuser Deborah Ramirez is lying because she was drunk.
This is the president talking in front of THE ENTIRE WORLD.
According to New York Times reporter and "Trump whisperer" Maggie Haberman, the president smearing a woman by saying that she's smearing Kavanaugh is him lashing out after the humiliation.
At the end of the day, the only UN Trump likes is Kim Jong.
It's three to ten years in state prison for Bill Cosby.
In the midst of the confirmation battle of an accused rapist nominated by an admitted sexual assaulter, it's easy to forget that sexual assault is illegal in the United States.
But, the rumors are true! Men can actually face consequences for sex crimes.
The 81-year-old Cosby has been sentences to three to ten years after being found guilty of drugging and sexually assaulting Andrea Constand at his suburban Philadelphia home back in 2004.
Cosby has been under house arrested since being convicted in April, and will now be reporting to jail. He must register as a "sexually violent predator" and undergo mandatory counseling, and report to authorities for the rest of his life.
It took 60 women coming forward and Andrea Constand's bravery to long him up, and the day has finally come.
It's a powerful moment.
But for many, it's not enough.
We still have so far to go.
It's also wild to see one man escorted off in handcuffs while white people in power are also gross.
The jokes on the matter are better than any of Cosby's, that's for sure.
One predator down, only hundreds to go.
If you've ever had a strong gut feeling your partner was keeping a secret from you, the chances are you were sensing something. Cautionary tales about long-term partners living double lives can be just as fascinating as they are depressing, which is why I'm so obsessed with them.
Do we ever truly know our partners? Is trusting someone fully just a practice in foolish self-harm, or should we embrace it in order to cultivate love? These questions, and several far less coherent musings have been swirling in my head since I stumbled upon a Reddit thread where commenters shared secrets they'd discovered about their partners after being together awhile.
Most of these are complete deal-breakers, several bordering on criminal activity, while others are delightfully bizarre. I'll let you decide which fall into their respective categories, because hoo boy, there's a lot to unpack here.
1. The classic yet painful cheating secret.
2. This deeply insidious (yet luckily unfulfilled) plan.
3. Her inconsiderate driving habits.
4. A circus of exes.
5. A crop of white lies.
6. A terrifying confession.
7. A super involved secret.
8. A truly terrifying murder plan.
9. A showstopping moment.
10. A secret son.
11. Sexting in the family.
12. A truly lazy father.
13. A hidden violence.
14. A sexually unhealthy revelation.
15. A shotgun weekend wedding.
People who lived through the 90s are all that and a bag of chips. These 90s memes will leave you laughing and feeling nostalgic AF for the good old days of Beanie Babies, Spice Girls, and dial-up Internet.
We'll ignore this baby's blatant request for "Happy Birthday" wishes. (via reddit)
Ah, the joys of a baby's first flight! The screaming, the crying, the blissful moment where you think it finally fell asleep, followed by the inevitable realization that no, it didn't and neither will you. Is there anything that could make it better?
Yes! This! This is how you bring a baby on the flight: with a pre-emptive apology and the gifts of candy and earplugs. Granted, these parents aren't the first to come up with this idea. But since humans will always be reproducing, and since they'll always be bringing their offspring on planes until we invent teleportation devices (or run out of fossil fuels and collapse into primitivism), we're always happy to remind breeders out there that there are steps they can take to prevent their spawn from ruining everyone else's day.
Here's the original note someone brought on a plane two years ago, which I was hoping would become more of a trend:
I gotta say, even though you need to ask for earplugs, the Jolly Rancher puts this on top.
(via reddit)
Last month, we featured a story on designer Simon Huck, a man whose body implants made Kim Kardashian West, Chrissy Teigen, and Tan France look like extra-terrestrials.
Now, there’s another sci-fi fashion designer on the scene that’s taking its inspiration from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s dark, futuristic thriller, “Total Recall” (1990).
Over the weekend, at a runway show for Milan’s Fashion Week, Italian streetwear label GCDS featured some of its models with three-breasted artificial chest pieces straight out of the Schwarzenegger film.
At least, we think they were artificial.
Remember her?
GCDS’ show featured futuristic, rave-ready neon crop tops, mini skirts, see-through vinyl dresses, and utility-style harnesses, so the three-breasted women weren’t totally out of place.
For those who weren’t distracted by the extra-boobed models, there were neon lights behind the runway that read: “GCDS Corp is your only God.”
Now, the only question is: when will GCDS start selling three-breasted bras?
The human race couldn’t have made it very far without the vagina.
We owe it a debt of gratitude that we’ll never understand.
But how do we repay the beautiful part of the female body that allows life to happen in the first place? By never speaking its name in polite company.
There is a latent Puritanical force in American culture that still tells us we should feel ashamed about bringing up the vagina in public. In fact, we have to pay extra for cable just to see one on television.
FridaBaby, a company that makes products to please parents and their babies, has updated the packaging for its MomWasher, so it now features the tagline "Trust Us, Your Vagina Will Thank You."
According to FridaBaby, the MomWasher “works upside down to make post-delivery healing for your vajayjay cleaner and easier. Simple, portable, a little adorable, the MomWasher is perfectly designed with new moms in mind."
FridaBaby launched an ad campaign for its MomWasher featuring the tagline "Trust Us, Your Vagina Will Thank You.” But the ad has been straight-up rejected in more than a few markets.
Ad agencies are asking FridaBaby to change the line so it doesn’t offend the pearl-clutchers out there who can’t stand hearing the word "vagina."
“We were surprised at [this] response, being that vagina is a body part, “Chelsea Hirschhorn, founder and CEO of FridaBaby, told POPSUGAR. “It’s a fact that after birth, a woman’s vagina — the anatomical term of where the baby came out of — will hurt and be swollen. There’s no reason we should be tip-toeing around this conversation.”
FridaBaby wants to help soothe the aching vaginas of women who gave all for us, and we can’t even say the word vagina in ad.
However, the progressive folks in New York City are totally fine with the word “VAGINA” being seen in public. FridaBaby’s ads will be featured at 22 subway stops throughout the city.
"People are now looking for complete candor and transparency from the brands they love and consume," Hirschhorn told POPSUGAR. "The shift is already happening and will only continue for reproductive and postpartum care."
Remember how we thought being an adult would be awesome, but then it turned out to suck? Nothing but bills, soul crushing jobs, and more bills. Hey, at least we can get drunk and laugh at memes whenever we want. This list is for anyone who is seriously done being an adult for the day.
Chrissy Teigen has no shame about her sex life, she confirmed on "Watch What Happens Live" last night — and of course, people are being rude about it.
On the show, host Andy Cohen asked Chrissy if she and husband John Legend "close[d] the deal on the first night." Chrissy responded with a succinct, "Yes."
Andy asked her to elaborate.
She told him they met "on a video set for 'Stereo.' We were on a video set all day together and I went to one of his shows and... yeah."
Pretty standard — and obviously nothing to be ashamed of. But of course, because some of us are living only a few clicks to the left of the society depicted in "A Handmaid's Tale," people are being rude about it.
Many on Twitter are wasting their time with a good old-fashioned "who cares?" response, while others are saying nasty things about Chrissy.
Plenty of fans, though, are sticking up for her.
And asking why no one's judging John.
Some are patting Chrissy on the back for her DGAF attitude.
And others are offering a breath of fresh air by asking what, exactly, the big deal is.
Either way, we're guessing Chrissy won't lose sleep over this one.
You don't have to morning person to laugh at today's meme list. Even people who hit the snooze like it wronged their family will be able to laugh at these random funny memes.
A duo of Russian women posted a video on YouTube that purports to show them pouring bleach on manspreaders' crotches as a protest — and the dudes of the internet are really in their feelings about it.
In the video, a narrator explains why they're doing what they're doing:
This is my new video manifesto, dedicated to the problem of manspreading.
Men demonstrating their alpha-manhood in the subway with women and children around deserve contempt.
If you publicly show what kind of macho you are, we will publicly cool you off!
The video goes on to show another woman dumping water bottles full of bleach on men's crotches. The bleach is allegedly a mixture that's 30 times stronger than most household bleach.
It's impossible to tell at this point whether the women really did pour bleach on these guys, or if it was just water — or if the whole thing's a hoax. But YouTube commenters are using it as an excuse to threaten physical violence against women, because of course they are.
They're also sticking up for their right to air out their ballsacs on public transit. This guy in particular blames his comically large balls for his inability to stop manspreading.
We'll stay tuned for updates on the status of these men's crotches but we're pretty sure they'll be fine.
A third woman has accused Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault, and the allegations are devastating and disturbing.
Julie Swetnick has sent a sworn affidavit to the Senate Judiciary Committee, via her lawyer Michael Avenatti, who also represents Stormy Daniels.
Swetnick, who has worked for the federal government and holds active clearances associated with the Department of Treasury, writes that she knew Brett Kavanaugh and his friend Mark Judge while they were in high school.
"I attended well over ten house parties in the Washington, D.C. area during the years 1981-1983 where Mark Judge and Brett Kavanaugh were present," she writes. "On numerous occassions at these parties, I witnesses Mark Judge and Brett Kavanaugh drink excessively and engage in highly inappropriate conduct, including being overly aggressive with girls and not taking 'no' for an answer. This conduct included the fondling and grabbing of girls without their consent."
In addition to writing that she "observed Brett Kavanaugh drink excessively at these parties and enage in abusive and physically aggressive behavior towards girls," she mentions having seen him at a string of parties known as "Beach Week." Incidentally, Kavanaugh records having been at Beach Week in the calendar he turned over the Senate to try and clear his name.
Avenatti's client Julie Swetnick says she observed Kavanaugh as a "mean drunk" harassing women at parties, including at "Beach Week" in Maryland.
— David Mack (@davidmackau) September 26, 2018
The 1982 calendar he released today indicates he was at Beach Week. pic.twitter.com/NgJJ4CwE6d
Here is where things go from terrible to worse.
Swetnick writes that she witnesses "efforts by Mark Judge, Brett Kavanaugh and others to cause girls to become inebriated and disoriented so they could be 'gang raped' in a side bedroom by a 'train' of numerous boys. I have a firm recollection of seeing boys lined up outside rooms at many of these parties waiting for their 'turn' inside the room. These boys included Mark Judge and Brett Kavanaugh."
She adds that in "approximately 1982," she became a victim of one of these rapes where Judge and Kavanaugh were present. Swetnick adds that after the incident, she shared her story with at least two other people who can testify.
"During the incident, I was incapacitated without my consent and unable to fight off the boys raping me," she writes. "I believe I was drugged using Quaaludes or something similar placed in what I was drinking."
Although it feels like years ago, it was just yesterday that Bill Cosby was sent to prison for drugging and raping Andrea Constand.
Kavanaugh and Professor Christine Blasey Ford are scheduled to testify tomorrow before the Senate Judiciary Committee, with a vote slated for Friday morning.
Here is the full affidavit submitted by Swetnick under threat of perjury. As someone with a security clearance, submitting this document puts her career on the line.
The enforcement of traditional gender roles is so embedded into every facet of society it can be easy to miss the signs. Despite gendered progress in the conversation surrounding parenthood, there is still a long road before men's spaces cater to fatherhood in the ways women's spaces cater to motherhood.
Gendered stereotypes and studies alike dictate that (in heterosexual couples) women bear the brunt of child care and housework. However, as with most imbalances, the culture perpetuates the reality. There are plenty of single fathers, gay couples raising children, and straight men carrying their half of the parenthood duties. Yet, their spaces still don't reflect that. As of now, in 2018, men's restrooms still don't have changing tables.
The father of three Donte Palmer is all too familiar with the struggle of changing his son without a table, and recently posted a photo on Instagram bemoaning the issue.
He wrote:
"This is a serious post!!! What’s the deal with not having changing tables in men’s bathroom as if we don’t exist!! #FLM#fatherslivesmatterclearly we do this often because look how comfortable my son is. It’s routine to him!!!! Let’s fix this problem! I Kaepernick drop a knee to this issue! @theshaderoomlet’s show the innovation of fathers!"
Due to its relatability, his post quickly went viral and garnered solidarity from other dads facing the same issues.
He told Yahoo Lifestyle that his oldest son regularly helps out by handing him the diapers and wipes.
"People have commented that my wife is ‘lazy’ for not changing our baby’s diaper or that I could have changed him in the car but why should I?" he said. "Many fathers are present caretakers but either we don’t get recognition or get too much credit for doing basic tasks."
Hopefully, as more dads like Palmer speak up, the cultural attitudes towards fatherhood will continue to shift -- and public spaces (such as bathrooms) will adjust accordingly.
Warning: These NSFW memes are so dirty you may want to shower after reading them.
Logan Paul. Dr. Pimple Popper.
Who can ask for anything more?
Professional douchebro (and Suicide Forest Corpse Exploiter) Logan Paul drove an hour and a half to Dr. Pimple Popper's pimple popping den to fangirl over everyone's favorite dermatologist, Dr. Sandra Lee.
It was a smorgusboard of dermatological delights.
First, a member of Paul's entourage got his "third nipple" removed from his armpit.
Then, it was Paul's turn on the table for his cute little back cyst.
Paul upped the romance in an already sensual scenario by having his girlfriend do the squeezing.
Like on that fancy Showtime show The Affair, this cyst-pop can be experienced from multiple different perspectives. Dr. Pipple Popper herself posted the view from her own channel.
This cyst popping is our generation's Zapruder film.
Truly, what is the point of being a hot rich celebrity couple if you can't flex some PDA on social media?! Seriously though, if us plebeians in our non-designer clothes get to drunken make out on the sidewalk after TGIF shots, it only makes sense for Clout Couples to curate flirtation on Instagram.
Fittingly, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are pros at this game.
In the past, Kim has made her love of the D (aka Kanye's) very clear, much to the delight and pearl clutching of people online.
The pattern of NSFW comments has been continued by a comment Kim left on one of Kanye's recent Instagram photos. The photo itself is fairly benign, and shows his feet and grew sweatpants.
Kim was quick to take it somewhere NSFW in the comments section.
For those uninitiated, the #greysweatpantschallenge was a Twitter trend where men would post selfies of themselves in grey sweat pants so women (and other men) could gawk at their junk.
Needless to say, Kim's reference to the past trend did NOT go unnoticed by thirsty fans of the couple.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time Kim hollers at Kanye in front of the whole world. After all, what's the point of being famous if you can't leverage that platform for expressions of thirst?
The disturbing allegations against Supreme Court nominee and Renate Alumnus Brett Kavanaugh still have yet to lead the White House to withdraw the nomination and go with literally any other Federalist Society-approved weenie who hates women's right to choose.
On Wednesday, Stormy Daniels' lawyer and wannabe president Michael Avenatti published a sworn affidavit from his new client: Julie Swetnick, who claims to be a witness to Kavanaugh's predatory behavior in high school, and alleges that he was a witness to her being gang-raped at a party in 1982.
Take this opportunity to scream and/or cry—this is nothing short of horrifying.
Sometime between meeting with delegates at the UN (many of whom laughed in his face yesterday), President Trump attacked Avenatti on Twitter. Trump attacked Avenatti even though Avenatti isn't the one making the allegations (???) and the allegations of an affair with Stormy Daniels that Trump appears to be referencing turned out to be true. TRUMP'S OWN LAWYER PLEAD GUILTY, remember?
Avenatti, the only person who loves a Twitter war more than the president himself, struck back.
Whereas Trump went with a "blame the lawyer" strategy, Senator Lindsey Graham decided to blame the victim, and Avenatti responded to him too.
Hmmm. Republicans are making this about Avenatti, when it really should be about Kavanaugh.
Well at least the president seems to have his eye on the ball...
This has been your first look at the 2020 campaign.
Unless you're Drew Barrymore's character in Never Been Kissed or a complete psychopath - it's unlikely you want to return to high school. If you do, I hope you keep a safe distance from me, because I truly believe anyone longing for those years is unwell. That being said, it's fairly normal to look back and wish you could redo those years with the wisdom of adulthood.
Since most of us can't time travel (please email me if you have this capability), the best we can do with our 20/20 hindsight is share it with others so they can avoid some of the same mistakes we made.
In most cases, advice geared towards our high school selves still applies to adult life. What IS life but a series of circles where we enact similar behavioral patterns while slowly becoming more haggard?!
Since personal growth is not linear, I immediately started taking mental notes when I stumbled across a recent Twitter thread where people shared advice with their younger selves.
Here are TK pieces of advice channeled towards 16-year-olds that will also help the rest of us.
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Toothbrush ads tend to be pretty tame. They usually say something like “4 out of 5 dentists agree, our toothbrush is the best” or “our toothbrush gets the plaque your current one is missing.”
But London-based Brushbox found a way to make an ad that is not only terribly sexist, but borderline pornographic … and they thought it was a good idea.
Brushbox is a subscription-based service, kind of like Dollar Shave Club, and its ads were included in welcome packs for freshman students at the University of Sussex in England.
The ads doubled as beer mats and on one side there was the porno-adjacent image of a woman’s mouth filled with white, frothy toothpaste dropping down her chin.
The other side said, “Whether you spit or swallow as part of your (twice…) daily oral regime, place your oral health on autopilot with Brushbox.”
To take things a step further, the beer mat has a hanger so someone could attach it to their nose and appear as if they just pleasured someone orally.
Not sure who would do that, but, theoretically, someone could.
It goes without saying that the ad riled more than a few people up.
The ad prompted an apology by Brushbox. “We are really sorry if anyone has been offended by the promotional image used in the Dig-In boxes. We now realise it was inappropriate and misguided of us to use this type of image as a way to raise awareness of dental health issues,” Brushbox said.
How did it take that long for them to come to this realization?
