One in four Americans suffer from insomnia every year (EVERY YEAR!), and only 75% of them recover. Which means for the 25% of you reading this at 3:30 a.m. crying and sucking down your favorite pint of ice cream and cyber stalking your ex and his new, way-to-young-for-him girlfriend, you are definitely not alone.

Sleep is big business. Turn on the TV and there are mattress ads from countless companies. Travel for work? There are 50 different neck pillows to make you look like a total idiot at the airport.

Do you or your partner snore? What is a cpap mask, you ask? It's what Bane made super chic.

Not being able to sleep SUCKS for a million reasons. But the constant bombardment of tools, tricks, and gadgets guaranteed to change your sleep but never do, isn't helping either. Not only are you not sleeping, but you're awake more hours thinking about the ways in which you're disappointed in yourself for not being able to sleep. Everyone can do it, so what's wrong with you?

Enter brave soldiers who've gone to war, who've trained, who've fought the toughest battles and who we literally owe our freedom to... they can sleep like a baby in the middle of the jungle or on the side of a cliff. But in your sleep number bed, hugging your lavender scented "My Pillow," and your $2200 white noise machine--YOU can't sleep? Cue that anxiety attack in 3, 2, 1...

Give your over-worked brain a rest for a second and let these soldiers help you, YET AGAIN. Here are some of their favorite products.

1. A weighted blanket. Soldiers carry heavy gear, armor, everything they'll need to accomplish their mission. According to Ben Feibleman, a Marine Corps vet, "You know those thunder shirts for dogs? Like tightly wrapped blankets?” he says. “Body armor worked like that. It would squeeze you nice and tight, and you could sleep in just about any nook or cranny of space because you were swaddled in armor, ammo, and weapons.”

2. These seem pretty basic, but are used by soldiers far and wide. Ear plugs, a great sleep mask, and a travel fan.

3. Ricky Ryba, a former Naval officer and graduate of the US Naval Academy's ​​​choice: Tempur-Pedic memory foam pillow. “I've never really personally have been a fan of the neck pillow,” Ryba says. “It's like a smaller size, condensed for traveling,” he says. “I can stick it in the top of my bag, and I'll sit on it, which helps with my back. Or I'll put it behind me, which is super-comfortable. It helps me fall asleep on the plane a lot better.”

And their technique for when you don't have any of the above comforts? They swear this works within two minutes.

1. Relax the muscles in your face, including tongue, jaw and the muscles around the eyes

2. Drop your shoulders as far down as they’ll go, followed by your upper and lower arm, one side at a time

3. Breathe out, relaxing your chest followed by your legs, starting from the thighs and working down

4. You should then spend 10 seconds trying to clear your mind before thinking about one of the three following images:

-You’re lying in a canoe on a calm lake with nothing but a clear blue sky above you

-You’re lying in a black velvet hammock in a pitch-black room

-You say “don’t think, don’t think, don’t think” to yourself over and over for about 10 seconds.

If none of the above works, visualize how lucky you are that the brave men and women in uniform have a technique to help them get some Z's and protect us all.

Then again.. what is your hot ex-girlfriend doing right now? Sure, sleep's cool, but this seems like a great time to send a, "U up?" text?

What was thought to be a big cow stole hearts and minds as its gigantic size saved him from the slaughterhouse and inspired everyone who has ever felt different.

This is a big, NAY, a HUGE cow, a majestic mooer so tall, he reaches the Heavens.

Now The Washington Post is reporting that the Knickers the Big Cow is not a cow, because nothing is sacred and fun on the internet is meant to be ruined.

Aniek Bouwman, an expert in animal breeding and genomics at Wageningen University in the Netherlands, told the Post that "Knickers is not a cow but a steer, because males are typically quite a bit larger than females."

The Mainstream Media isn't disputing that Knickers is large, just that Knickers is a large cow.

"At the shoulder, Knickers stands a mighty 6’4”, which means he’s two inches taller than Arnold Schwarzenegger. And he weighs roughly 2,800 pounds, which is the approximate equivalent of 14-and-a-half Danny DeVitos," they note.

The Post also notes that Knickers looks huge because he's surrounded by shorties.

"In other words, Knickers is a large specimen, but he looks larger because he’s standing among a herd of Danny DeVitos, not a herd of Arnold Schwarzeneggers," they write.

The people are pissed that WaPo is trying to take the big cow fun away from them.

Now we have beef.

The Washington Post is being hilariously roasted for this.

The responses are so pro-cow that the publication has sworn off reading them.

Perhaps the real Big Cow is the friends we've made along the way?

Good morning to everyone, especially people who love laughing at memes. You guys will definitely enjoy this totally hilarious list of random memes. It's guaranteed to bring a smile to your morning and maybe even your entire day.

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Normally, television and news stations like to compile their best clips into an engaging sequence that will draw new viewers in and remind faithful viewers why they keep coming back.

But this year's Fox Nation recap video is so cringe inducingly bad I had to check multiple times to make sure it wasn't satire.

It truly has it all, there's a Jeopardy style moment where a contestant giggles over the word "Black" in Black Panther, there's a clip from cooking with Steve Doocey where he loudly jokes about drinking a full bottle of whiskey on the air, there's a moment where a woman literally scoffs at a man promoting his sport's book, and of course, there are several equally bizarre and awful clips of Tomi Lahren aka Toomey Layren.

In case you didn't make it through the full clip out of self-love or some other remarkably healthy emotion, there is a clip of Tommy Looren eating an ice cream cone and thanking her viewers, there is a completely decontextualized clip of her practicing soccer tricks, and we have a very classic Barbie Hitler moment where she claims legal asylum seekers don't think tortillas are good enough.

I wasn't the only one who had to pinch myself to believe this recap was real, there is a whole Twitter thread full of people cry-laughing about how accurately this sums 2018 up.

This clip truly presents us with a situation where confounded GIFs are really the only appropriate response.

Those with dignity have managed to stay away from clicking on the link, but I can sense their spirits hovering over the mouse and a world of visual pain.

I'm truly and sincerely sorry I did this to you, it will take a full therapy session just to get the images of Tomee playing with a soccer ball in front of her pristine suburban home. Sometimes, real life is just too much to stomach.

Michael Cohen, the real life incarnation of Barry Zuckercorn from Arrested Development, plead guilty to telling EVEN MORE lies on behalf of President Donald Trump—the shady character known in the guilty plea as Individual 1.

After previously implicating the president in a conspiracy to shirk campaign finance laws to pay off a Playmate and a porn star, the latest lies Cohen plead guilty to are about Trump's true loves: real estate and Putin.

The guilty plea explains that Cohen lied to Congressional committees about the Trump Organization's efforts during the presidential campaign to build a Trump Tower in Moscow.

That's right: Individual 1 LIED.

"Cohen falsely said efforts to build a Trump-branded tower in Moscow ended in January 2016, when in fact discussions continued through that year, the filing said. Among the people Cohen briefed on the status of the project was Trump himself, on more than three occasions, according to the document," The Washington Post recaps.

Discussions weren't with any old Russians—they were with the damn Kremlin.

Not only did Cohen brief Individual 1 on his discussions with Kremlin officials, they even discussed taking a trip.

The news that Trump was angling to make a deal with Russians while running for president (and the Russians just so happened to be assisting his campaign) is at once shocking and boring.

Hillary Clinton ('member her?) raised this possibility of Trump working on a real estate deal at the second presidential debate, and is probably feeling smug that she was right.

Individual 1 is acting very calm, cool, and collected about this guilty plea, downplaying his relationship with Cohen and going full Cartman.

Oh, and as journalists are noting, if Cohen is guilty of lying to Congress, that means Don Jr. is too.

Oh, and this guilty plea also confirms that the Russian President has had blackmail material over the President of the United States this whole time...and not just the pee tape.

Sing, Michael Cohen, SING!!!

This news is setting off the Collusion-Meter.

Consider a shoe dropped.

These memes are hilarious and relatable AF to any woman trying to live her life. Share this meme list with anyone in your girl squad who could use a laugh today.

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Preparing a Christmas feast is no small feat, you have to shell out a reasonable amount of cash and master the art of roasting meats and properly cooking sides. Then after all of that, you have to actually interact with your family (or friends) for hours on end, it's honestly an emotional marathon.

In most cases, guests and visiting family lighten the load by bringing sides, desserts, and booze, so there's not one person solely responsible for all of the food. This generally works out great because people can offer to provide according to their strengths (aka the drunk uncle can bring the booze and the sugar fiend can bring the cookies), but not all families function the same.

A young woman recently posted to Mumsnet after finding out her mother-in-law wants to charge family members $20 a piece for attending Christmas dinner. According to the post, the matriarch of the family decided she wants to switch things up this year, and rather than having family bring sides and booze, she wants to shell out cash for a catered meal. The woman posted that she understands how expensive Christmas meals can be, it feels a bit bizarre to charge family members cash instead of just hosting something potluck style. For this reason, she's decided to forgo the meal completely.

The post reads:

"AIBU to think you should ask family to pay for their Xmas lunch?
My partner has just told me that his mother who he's having Christmas lunch with said she wants £17 per head from him! I'm going to my family's for lunch so invited him also but he has had it there all his life with his grandparents and siblings too. she said she doesn't want to do it all from scratch and wants to get it all pre done so it's more money, which I understand but he's gutted and feels like he wants to come to my family now. I can see it from both sides and it's hard work and can be expensive but not like she is financially destitute."

"This has never happened before and he has offered to bring the dessert etc but he said handing over cash just feels wrong. As he says it's about family not money but I wanted to see what other people's opinions are ? Or if you do this.
Thanks ​​​​​​."

People's reactions to the post ranged from empathetic to the woman's plight, to fully on the mother's side. It really does all depend on how you look at it.

Commenter formerbabe shared how stressful hosting a holiday dinner can be, and that she totally understands where the mother-in-law is coming from.

"It's really expensive to cater for Christmas dinner for a lot of people. I did it one year for my better off than me in laws . It cost me over £400. If we do Christmas with my family, we will share cost of food or all bring different components of the dinner. Don't think of it as her charging you but instead think of it as you all contributing to the cost of the food."

Still, OlennasWimples felt that asking for cash ruins the vibe of a holiday meal, and it's far better to have everyone contribute a food or drink. However, if asked, they said they'd pay the fee.

"Personally I wouldn't - I would ask people to contribute by bringing specific contributions to the meal instead ("Uncle Paul is bringing stuffing, Auntie Lucy is doing the sprouts" type thing). But if someone asked me for cash I'd pay - it's really expensive hosting, particularly at an expensive time of the year. When we have had Christmas meals as a big group of friends, we split the cost."

Others completely sided with the daughter-in-law about how seemingly inhospitable it is to put a price tag on Christmas dinner.

PersonaNonGarter said it ruins the whole vibe of a holiday meal.

"OMG! No! Fuck, that is horrible. We host Christmas: buy the turkey and pudding, everyone else brings a dish eg sausages in blankets etc. That shares the cost and the work. Cannot think of anything less hospitable than setting the menu and demanding your ‘guests’ pay for it."

What do you think -- is the mother-in-law's request inhospitable, or is she just being practical about the costs?

Coming home to any surprise is pretty alarming, but there are definitely surprises more upsetting than others.

If you've ever lived with roommates, strange family members, or basically just any other person, you're bound to witness some curious events. I've come home to roommates screaming at each other about fat-free yogurt, abandoned gutted pumpkins, cracked eggs in the shower, strangers in their underwear with tarot cards, and a hedgehog in a bonnet. And I don't even have any pets or children.

When a Reddit user recently asked users to describe the worst thing they've ever come home to, the answers were definitely surprising. Some were sad, some were gross, and some were completely bizarre. All of them, however, will make you grateful if you get home today and just find the house exactly how you left it.

1. Truly horrifying, "SylkoZakurra."

My dad came home to find a wasp in the house. And then another. And then another. He investigated. Heard a buzzing coming from the dining room. An entire nest of wasps had been living in the walls and chewed through the sheetrock (or whatever it is they did) and were now pouring into the house through the hole.

2. The stuff of insect nightmares, "JadedAdhesiveness."

I left home one morning and noticed a handful of fruit flies buzzing around the kitchen. Thought nothing of it, figured I'd buy some traps later. Came home to hundreds of them, everywhere, along the walls and ceilings in every room. Literally ran down the street to a Rite Aid and bought all the bug spray and traps they had.

3. Yikes, "digbychickencaesarVC."

my girlfriend and roomate/best friend hanging on the couch, obviously post coitus.

they're married now.

4. Oh my god, "damatas."

8 billion baby praying mantis in my house. Over the fall, my daughter went out into the woods and collected every praying mantis cocoon she could find and put them in a shoebox in her bedroom. They all hatched in the early spring while we were visiting my parents for the day...​​​​​​​

5. Modern Titanic for "Whoneedsyou."

Once my family returned from dinner out (a few hours at least!) and upon entry back into the house we noticed water leaking from the garage roof. Turns out our top floor toilet tank had cracked and water had been continuously pouring and was cascading down the stairs, through all three floors. A ridiculous amount of damage.​​​​​​​

6. Oh no, "andotis0105"

Thousands of ladybugs that hatched, were swarming around and on the white siding of the house. And then I went inside and a couple hundred were hanging out in my living room on the ceiling.

7. A strange visitor for, "ineffectivegoggles."

Got home after work, sat down on my couch. Caught a glimpse of something in the corner of my eye. Turn towards the love seat and see a squirrel sitting on top of it. Then look behind the love seat and see that my air conditioner side paneling was torn to shreds and all over the floor.

Chased the squirrel out and made better side paneling, but the squirrels never stopped trying to get in. It was horrible hearing them scratching and gnawing. My landlord tried putting up some wire fencing around the window hoping to prevent them from getting in. Instead, they would manage to get in and then forget how to get out. So they would be trapped between the wiring and my A/C, panicking and gnawing and the window sill and and I’d feel bad for them and despise them at the same time. This went on for a long time and I now fucking hate squirrels and window A/C units.

My friends printed and framed a particularly good photo of one of those squirrels attempting to get in. And bought me a squirrel throw pillow.

8. Sorry, "bentonetc."

Dog shit the house. Roomba didn't know.

9. You're better than him, "LanaLDN."

Last night my boyfriend totally drunk brought home a new colleague, presumably forgetting I was there so I got to overhear that he's waiting for right time to break up with me, that she's stunning, he doesn't care about me and that he wants her.

So... Yeah that sucks. Day before our 4 year anniversary.

10. Oh no, "ModusinRebusEst."

muddy puppy paw prints everywhere...oh wait, that's not mud. Dear god.

11. This is...a nice gesture? "Ruby_Sees_All."

My casual boyfriend doing full-demolition on my master bathroom. I had mentioned I would like to remodel it someday...

13. This is cold, "Peakingallover."

Significant other and some other guy on my birthday.

Took me years to get over that.

14. Yikes, "_freeyourmind"

When I was in college, I went away for a weekend to come home to find that my roommate had attempted to hang a tv on the wall. Guess the first time didn't work because there was a massive hole right next to a tv on the wall.

15. Get on Craigslist, "facefullofsoul."

I have a terrible roommate. I love her as a friend, but living with her is hell. I’ve never seen anyone so dirty or absolutely mindless about the amount of filth and noise they create.

Came home one Wednesday evening to;

1. Fridge left wide open

2. Every cupboard door in the kitchen left open

3. Stove left on

4. Cooking items left out/overall huge mess in kitchen

5. House in general disarray/her stuff strewn everywhere

and...

6. Her having loud sex with a rando, who left a condom in the toilet of the shared bathroom.

I’m moving out in January.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

16. But did you keep the dog, "greenisready?"

A dog got into my trash and spread it all over my kitchen and living room. I don't have a dog.

17. This is a journey, "angrytimmy24."

Goats everywhere inside our house. We left the house for the day and someone didn't completely close the front door. We had a small tribe of goats at the time. they somehow managed to escape their enclosure, find the open door and made their way inside. Once inside they proceeded to destroy the house as only goats could do. they ate everything paper based, such as money, letters, bills and mail. They pissed and shit on EVERYTHING, including the beds and couches they took leisurely naps on. They destroyed what limited art we had and ate many of the kids toys.

It took several days of cleaning to get the house not to look and smell like a barn

18. Dogs love money, "Penya23."

Came home to find papers shredded all over the place.

My dog got into my office and ate about 20 of my students' exam papers, plus a winning scratch ticket worth $200.

And she had the most innocent I don't know what the fuck you're talking about look on her face. Lucky she's so cute or I would've killed her lol.

Stay safe, everyone!

Piers Morgan is on another tear, and this time his target is soccer player and DILF David Beckham, whom Morgan claims is creepy for kissing his daughter on the lips.

This whole ridiculous debacle was sparked after Beckham posted an innocent picture of him kissing his daughter on the lips at the holiday skating rink.

Naturally, given his pathological aversion to human expressions of affection, this photo made Morgan feel uncomfortable and he decided to bring it up on Good Morning Britain.

In the segment, Morgan claimed Beckham was "using his daughter" to get attention on social media and even went so far as to say "everything about David Beckham is weird."

"David Beckham obviously posting pictures of his children, whilst then serving the right to respect their privacy. There he is kissing his daughter on the lips. I'm sorry, it got a big furore on social media, it’s just weird. Who does that? Who kisses their kids on the lips?"

Well, let's just say a lot of people thinking kissing their child on the lips is completely normal and loving, because Morgan received huge waves of backlash.

In fact, other parents even shared photos of themselves kissing their children as support.

Even though Morgan is a sentient trash fire, his annoying rhetoric may have been a blessing in disguise this once, because it ushered in so many sweet pictures of parents with their children.

BRB, I'm going to go have a cry session over how much affection is shown in these photos.

A mom from El Paso, Texas is accusing a Southwest Airlines Gate Agent of "name-shaming" her daughter at John Wayne Airport in Orange County.

Traci Redford is the mother of 5-year-old Abcde, which is pronounced "Ab-city," and hilarious to some people.

She notes that Abcde has epilepsy, so they often board first.

"The gate agent started laughing, pointing at me and my daughter, talking to other employees. So I turned around and said, 'Hey if I can hear you, my daughter can hear you, so I'd appreciate if you'd just stop,'" Redford told ABC 7.

Redford adds, "While I was sitting there, she took a picture of my boarding pass and chose to post it on social media, mocking my daughter. It was actually brought to my attention by somebody who had seen it on Facebook and reported it to Southwest Airlines."

The airline didn't do anything for two weeks, but ultimately disciplined the mocker and apologized.

Southwest said in a statement that they reprimanded the agent. They also said that they do not condone such mockery, but Twitter certainly does.

Commenters picked up where the gate agent left off.

Ever since Lindsay Lohan graced us with "The Parent Trap" in 1998, millennials have worked on elaborate plots to bring their divorced parents back together.

Most of the time, there's a reason a marriage didn't work out and there's not a whole lot even an adult child of divorce can do. However, Twitter user @VirgoVonnie has given the internet hope with a heartwarming tale of his divorced parents giving each other another try. @VirgoVonnie usually tweets about his body positive clothing company or astute observations such as this:

But he probably didn't expect his best content to be from his mom:

His mom is going to get her man back!

Naturally, the internet needed more details, and @VirgoVonnie delivered:

She left him and she's still mesmerized by the way he smells! Aww...

Ok so if cheating wasn't the reason, then what was it, @VirgoVonnie?

Work with us here, man!

They're texting! Then what?

He gave us some more information on their backstory:

And people were here for it:

Some people even offered up a parent trap success story of their own:

The response overall, though, was overwhelmingly supportive:

One person even tried to snag an invite to the wedding:

Congrats @VirgoVonnie's mom! We're all wishing you a romantic reunion.

If you're anything like me, and you assume that people who regularly take time out of their finite lives to complain on Yelp are deeply empty inside, well, buckle up -- your theories are about to be confirmed.

A recent Reddit post by user thegodzilla25 unearthed a sleezy underbelly of Yelp: all of the people who regularly lie because their soul has dried up.

It all started when a woman left a one star review about a restaurant, claiming there were maggots in the food. Unsurprisingly, when a manager saw the review they were horrified and immediately checked the kitchen for signs of bugs.

They went to their staff and asked if anyone recalled the customer, or what the dish in question was. After finding the staff themselves baffled, the manager took a look at the rest of the woman's Yelp reviews -- most of which were equally disparaging. When the manager did a reverse image search on the Yelp villain's photo of a rotten hamburger, it quickly came up as a stock photo.

This discovery immediately revealed the woman's intentions as sinister and bizarre. I truly can't imagine a more soul sucking activity of choice than Googling stock images so I can dump on service workers.

Perhaps the weirdest revelation from this manager's discovery is the fact that there are scores of Yelpers who engage in this sort of petty lying.

The health inspector StumbleKitty shared how they regularly receive false complaints about restaurants and maggots in particular. Oftentimes these reviews are left as acts of revenge. But sometimes they are borne of true ignorance.

"I'm a health inspector and false complaints (particularly about maggots in the food) come in all the time. Usually they're from disgruntled ex-employees or customers who felt like the staff were unkind or unfair to them for whatever the reason."

"Other times, they simply don't know what they're looking at. I had someone call about a white pubic hair on their Banh mi sandwhich. It turned out to be a bean sprout."

The Reddit user and restaurant vet ClovesPandas shared how often customers will feign food poisoning when it's physically impossible.

"I've worked in the food industry for a good part of my adult life. I cannot tell you how many people have tried to say they ate something and now they feel sick, we must have given them food poisoning. (Usually this statement is accompanied by the can-i-speak-to-your-manager hair cut)."

"I have had to fill out so many incident reports, explain that food poisoning takes a minimum of 24 hours to set in, and also ask them to please return with a doctors statement, all the while refunding the meal for a party of 4-6 people. No one has ever returned with that doctors note. That's par for the course when you work with the general public, refund, eat their shit excuse, and move on. People are shit."

Commenter I2ed3ye hilariously shared how a customer once confused oregano for mold, and yet still requested more pizza.

"I served a pizza slice once where a woman came back asking for another because it had mold on it. We gave her a slice that didn't have as much oregano on it."

While I truly believe Yelp should die in a fire, there are constructive ways to give feedback about negative food experiences. People who lie about maggots or mistake oregano for mold only make this process harder for everyone. Sometimes, in fact most of the time - the customer isn't actually right.

You're working too hard. It's time to take a well-deserved break and check out these hilarious memes. Time flies when you're laughing at memes. You'll be clocking out before you know it.

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A social media intern at Twitter is very hungover today...

Since there's nothing the internet loves more than a solid roast, a meme was born from their technical mishap. After @Twitter tweeted this empty post, the "blank twitter" joke is generating some pretty hilarious results.

Twitter, are you ok? What were you trying to say and how come nobody noticed this? Is this supposed to be an artistic statement on the blank canvas social media sites create for people to express their thoughts and opinions? Is Twitter deeper than we all thought and making a silent call for help? Twitter, can you no longer take the responsibility of projecting the nonsense musings of the entire world? Regardless of the cause, at least we can appreciate these reactions:

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22. And Twitter Music:

Feel better, Twitter!

What started as a riff on a viral tweet about vacation besties ended with a picture and a tweet from Michael B. Jordan in the greatest internet story in the history of the internet.

It started when a woman named Bri reunited with her friend from a 2006 dinner cruise, proving that the internet isn't all bad.

Bolu Babalola, a pop culture scholar in London, England, posted a photoshopped picture "with" Michael B. Jordan, calling on the good people of Twitter to make that magic happen.

The tweet blew up, and Babalola got word that MBJ had seen it.

She got confirmation a few days later when she was in the same room as the man himself.

Babalola asked a Q at the Q&A, and mentioned that she was the girl from the tweet.

"Speaking of romance, um, you’ve gone viral recently. I am that girl — remember last summer?" she said. They locked eyes. He smiled his toothy grin.

"So now we gotta get a real picture," he responded.

"Tessa [Thompson] made a joke about me stealing her man, but it wasn't really a joke, was it? I did. I am kidding. Everyone was kind and gracious and wonderful," Babalola told BuzzFeed.

And here it is! It happened! They finally reunited, and this time, it's for real.

It's the power of The Secret: "When you focus your thoughts on something you want, and you hold that focus, you are in that moment summoning what you want with the mightiest power in the Universe."

She's been crushing on him for a long time.

The man himself retweeted it with an adorable string of emojis.

The photo is a modern masterpiece and has already spawned at least one "stan" account.

This rom-com is the best movie of the year.

Managing to successfully flirt with a stranger or new love interest is a true art. It requires enough attention and empathy to pick up on the other person's interest and comfort level, but most importantly it requires the other person reciprocate. The most amusing tales of failed flirting attempts come about when one party has NO idea they're getting wooed.

In the land of men dating women, it's still more common for men to make the first move, and given the way our dating culture functions - women are pretty much veterans at getting hit on and either sashaying away or returning the wink. Because of this imbalance, a lot of straight men are still pretty oblivious or confused about when women are actually making a move, which is equal parts amusing and frustrating - depending how you slice it.

In a recent Reddit post, men shared the times they were oblivious about ladies making a move, and some ladies chimed in as well with their perspective on the situation.

1. secondstartoright said she drove the distance, and he still had no idea.

"I drove 5 1/2 hrs to hang out, no big deal hahaha."

2. rasscalkong was invited over for some sexy cake.

"A girl I worked with invited me back to her place to sample a cake she had made. We get to her place, and she explains that she just needs to frost it before we eat. Proceeds to ice the cake, periodically dipping her finger in the bowl, and getting me to taste it. After a few rounds of this, she then dips her finger in the bowl, and proceeds to porn star suck a gigantic amount of icing off it.

Me: "yeah, looks good!"

We ate cake, and I left. 19 year old me was fucking stupid."

3. ctygesen said his wife took the reigns from day one.

"My wife has had to resort to 'get up here and fuck me, already!' We met 22 years ago because she walked up to me and demanded my phone number. I'd be alone in a ditch without her."

4. Ifthenbutbe was literally shown how to open a woman's pants.

"When I was about 16 I was at a friends birthday party, she had friends from out of town visiting. One of the girls was cute and we talked for pretty much the entire night. She gave naive 16-yr old me every sign that she was into me, I thought she was just friendly. At one point we are sitting in the back of the room watching a movie with everyone and she started showing me how her Velcro fly on her pants was so easy to open, she opened and closed it in front of me multiple times. "I mean velcro is cool but it's not that different from a regular fly"

She showed me how to get into her pants and I thought she was a Velcro nerd."

5. catsandsunflowers had to wait a month for the man to catch up.

"The first date with the guy I'm dating now started with him not knowing we were on a date.

I started it by asking him "hey let's go out and explore a little bit" he said yes, and I was flirting with him while we were out said "hey let's go back to my place" he said yes, but nothing happened after that.

About a month later he made the connection that that was a date."

6. smcallaway's boyfriend was completely oblivious to a date set up.

"Not my story, but my boyfriend’s instead. Once he lost weight he was getting pretty serious flirting action. And only now is he actually noticing it. Best one is this."

"He got off work kinda late, and on his way home is a Starbucks. Normally not a coffee drinker, but he needed it (not that any of it is really coffee at that point). It’s close to closing the for the Starbucks too, around 9:40 pm. They close at 10. He orders his drink and is literally the only person in the store. The barista who took his order is about the same age and they start talking something like this."

"Him: 'Sorry I came in late, I had a long shift at work I really needed this tonight. I’ll just be up a little later and I hoped lol. I’ll probably go get some food before I go home, Taco Bell sounds good.'

Her: “Oh lol, same here.”

Pause...

Her: 'I get off of work in a little bit here myself, I think I might go get some food. Taco Bell sounds good to me too.'

Coffee is done. He grabs it.

Him: 'Well, you enjoy that food! Have a good night!'"

"Lol she was pretty much asking him to hang out after. It went right over his head. Also what was great is the last winter semester he had been talking to this girl and walking her to her car all semester. Thought about dating her...guess what happened. End of the semester comes and he never asked her for her number."

7. Optimise was literally invited to stay over and still didn't get the picture.

"I met a girl at a bar in my first week of uni. We talked for a while and went our separate ways. I met her when leaving the bar and she invited me to a house party at her house. I had planned to share a taxi with some friends so it was hard to convince me. There were about 30 people there so I agreed to go. As we got closer to her house people started dropping off in different directions. Eventually it was just her, her housemate and I. I told her it looks like this is going to be a shit party if it's just the three of us and I'd leave to meet up with my friends getting the taxi. She tried to convince me telling me that it would be easier for me to sleep in her bed with her and just walk to uni instead of commuting hungover the next morning. As I was leaving she gave me her address and phone number in case I changed my mind. As soon as my head hit the pillow in my own bed I realized what she wanted."

8. rjag36 had a woman help him move and didn't get the picture.

"I'm no lady but i look back at some spots that i was ridiculously clueless. I was a virgin up till the end of college. One of these clueless examples i am moving into a dorm and my friend is helping me. She goes all out and stays basically the whole day helping go from apartment to dorm. At the end at night we are done and im sitting on the table helping her with math and she is standing leaning over my shoulder. At some point she goes and bites my neck. Im like “ouuuuuch why did u do that?” And she is giggling and says “im gonna sleep over ok?” And im like “sure you can sleep on my bed and ill sleep on the floor” and she mumbles “thats not what i meant...” leaves shortly afterwards.

These are the moments that i would like to take back. Haha."

9. litty10 was too high to process a compliment.

"One night at a party I was very high. This girl who I had been talking to comes up next to me and says “You’re really hot”. My dumbass brain mishears her and I responded with “NO, I’M REALLY HIGH”. Took me until the next morning to register what she really said..."

10. lluren had a very gratuitous massage.

"Personal Story. i'm going to see a tinder date at her place, we talked and the subject of massages got up. I enjoy doing them, not in a sexual way, I usually do deep massage, it hurts. She asked for one, I said sure. started on the sofa, she said she wasn't comfortable enough. we went in her room. she asked of I mind about removing her bra. I said no, but still had no clue about it.

I massage without oil. She had to propose twice for me to use her oil - 3 min later she said:" you know that oil is eatable". at that point I understood it."

11. HowtfShouldIKnow was invited into a private tent and didn't pick up the hints.

"I was 16 and I was at a bonfire. A girl I really liked invited me to sleep in her tent. Literally it was just us two laying down and that’s it. She was like nudging me too and was like, “So?” And I’m like “what? Can’t sleep?” Jesus I’m dumb."

12. sexually_available spelled it out for him.

"I had the hots for this guy. Very attractive, intelligent, talented, hilarious, the works. And we were close friends. I would look at him from across the room, smile a him and make stupid faces. I would come and hug him when it was cold or I was just bored or whatever. I complimented him and listened to his stories about his childhood and him opening up about abuse and all that."

"But he had no clue I liked him. I spent weeks doing these things. And so did many other girls. But he was totally clueless and thought they were all just being friendly (he had low self esteem). So one day we were alone and I just kissed him. And it blew his mind. And then we started dating and we haven't stopped for two years."

13. Gingieloxs spent five years trying to get her point across.

"I spent almost 5 years flirting with a boy I liked in high school. Everything I could think of, compliments, gifts, spending time with him, texting him, getting to know his friends really well. I finally gave up half way through senior year because I thought he really did just think of me like a sister. Finally a friend of his was like "Jesus Christ Joe, date the damn girl." Turns out it was 5 years well spent because we got married in April and he makes me the happiest I've ever been, even if he is the most clueless person I've ever met."

14. cha_iv completely missed his date's casual sex pun.

"One time I was on a casual dinner date with a Vietnamese girl. We were talking about Vietnamese food and I mentioned bahn mis. When I did, she told me, "it's actually pronounced 'bang me'". And I took it seriously, "oh wow I never realized it was pronounced that way! Thanks for telling me!"

I didn't realize until weeks later what she was actually hinting at..."

15. pukui7 got a full cleavage view and had no clue what was going on.

"I think it was 9th grade. A girl I liked was asking me about something in class, leaning forward over my desk and giving me a full unobstructed view down her shirt. No bra. I did the gentlemanly thing and tried not to look. I didn't want to be an asshole pervert. This went on for about 5 minutes and I was sweating and couldn't really talk straight. I must have sounded like a complete idiot."

"She eventually returned to her desk and we just continued as acquaintances. My friend later told me he saw her unbutton the top of her shirt before coming over to me but I didn't believe him. I was a complete idiot. Thanks for reminding me! Lol

Edit: the point here is that sometimes the flirting can be extremely overt and we still don't get it."

16. Joe__Soap missed his chance for a sexy nightcap.

"I met a girl at bar in Germany one time and we got talking since she was also an English speaker, turned out she actually was studying at the same University as me. She seemed really chatty & added eachother on Snapchat.

After the trip when we got off the bus from the airport, she suggested that I could go back to hers for the night rather than walk home all by myself. I guess that Ryanair flight really took it out of me because despite her being surprisingly insistent on the offer I decline because I just wanted to go to bed."

"Bumped into a roommate of hers a week later who was with her in Germany, and they told me straight up she was trying to get with me. Felt pretty stupid in hindsight."

17. pantslesslizard decided she'll never use meat pickup lines again.

"There was a very nice looking man at the deli section of my grocer. I walked up, gave him some side eyes and a smile, and then said “Mmmmm, bacon.”

He turned and walked away. I haven’t tried to pick up any guys with meat related lines again."

18. pumpkinspicepiggy's husband has a confusing method of flirting.

"It was the first date with my now husband. We go out for late lunch and brews at a gastro pub. I wore a lower cut shirt, kept sitting in ways to make my boobs look good, flirty looks, took his hand across the table and rubbed his knuckles a few times, etc. He’s joking and we’re really hitting it off, but he mentions that he’s like this with all his female friends. So I feel like it’s a failed date.

I text him after the date and say that I’m not looking for anything in particular but would love to hang with him again, because I thought he was trying to let me down gently with the female friends comment."

"But I’m still into him and persistent and we end up going on a second date to the aquarium. Except he’s so busy looking at the fish (I mean, I was too, we love animals) that even though I’m linking my arm in his and making sure I lean against him looking at the fish and taking his hand to show him new stuff, he still doesn’t notice. I even get burritos with him and take him to my special spot in some nearby tide pools to watch the ocean.

And now he has the nerve to say he was flirting with me the whole time!!"

19. toomanythrowaways000's coworker consistently struck out.

"I liked my coworker from the moment I met him. And I would playfully flirt with him but he didn’t see me in any light but as a friend. Almost every time we worked together I asked if he wanted to get a bite to eat after work. Always said no. One time he was acting down so I asked if he wanted a hug to cheer him up, and he said he didn’t like hugs. I teased him cause who doesn’t like hugs? And he said “I do like them from girls I’m interested in” OUCH."

"Well like 7 months later he admitted he had feelings for me and I was like ????? And he was expecting me to tell him I just saw him as a friend, too. Had no idea I liked him. He genuinely didn’t mean anything malicious by that comment and was just socially unaware. Turns out he thought I was cute when he first saw me, and meanwhile this entire time working with him I felt like shit cause I thought he was into way cuter girls than me. Mostly cause we were like bros and would talk about the hot girls that came into work.

We talked for 3 months, dated 3 weeks.. then broke up cause he has bad anxiety. Now we aren’t even friends :("

20. cjstacy took a moment to lock eyes with a woman at trivia.

"One night, I went to trivia with some friends, as was our weekly ritual. I had in the prior year moved from across the country, and I went out to trivia wearing a baseball jersey from my hometown MLB team.

One girl on another trivia team sees my jersey and approaches me about it. She was from the same city(ish) and we talked fit a bit about moving to our current part of the country from home. Eventually she went back to her team, and I thought that was that. I don't remember many details from that interaction."

"A female friends at our table looked at me when the other girl left and was like "wtf cjstacy, she was hardcore hitting on you". I reflected for a moment and realized she was right. I played it off like "that's just part of my strategy" read: I've got no game, I'm just pretending. Her table was near the trivia host, when I would turn in our answers each round. I sent signals and got her number by then end of the night. We dated briefly, but nothing serious was meant to come from it."

Rise and shine, it's a good day to laugh. Take a moment to check out this hilarious list of random memes. Laugh now, deal with your morning breath later.

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Individual 1 is doing very well after his former lawyer implicated him in a guilty plea, thank you very much.

After years of insisting that he had no deals, no contacts, nothing to do with Russia whatsoever, President Trump has admitted that he was pursuing deals and contacts in Russia while running for president. Not only was Trump negotiating with a foreign adversary while running for office—the very foreign adversary attacking the United States at the time—he was offering a their local dictator a $50 million penthouse.

BuzzFeed News revealed that Trump's vision for a Trump Tower Moscow included a free luxury apartment, which ethics lawyers note is a potential violation of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.

Bribing a head of state with a $50 million gift in exchange for getting a project built is a foreign corrupt practice made illegal by the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.

Trump admits that sure, he might have tried to build a tower and lied about all things Russia, but everything is Very Legal and Very Cool!

TL;DR "I am not a crook."

Putting aside the legal implications of the tweets for a second, it's important to note just how hilarious the president's syntax is.

Also, the "lightly looked at doing a building somewhere in Russia" follow-up has everyone making the same joke.

It's also important to note that Trump attempting to bribe Putin means that the Russians have had blackmail material on him this whole time—and not just the pee tape.

He's made a huge mistake.

Millennials are notoriously broke AF. A shockingly high percentage of us is paying back student loans, working one or more jobs, and helping support family members and/or a partner - all this while paying a landlord rent, most likely. Even my most frugal friends find themselves in tough spots financially, hence the rise of the side hustle. Rent out a spare room on Airbnb! Sell handmade crafts on Etsy! Auction off your Beanie Babies on eBay! Anything to scrimp and save.

So it's not surprising that when a twenty-two year-old entrepreneur did Refinery29's Money Diaries feature, people had strong opinions about it. Though her line of work is never clearly defined - she mentions having been a 'healthy living influencer of sorts since high school' and sells...something on Instagram - she somehow makes about $604,800 per year. That's $54,400 per month.

Not long after publication, the piece started circulating on Twitter, where people had questions about the diarist's line of work and spending habits.

A Céline bag is a purse, but yes, her attitude towards money is confusing.

Her overall lifestyle was similarly confounding. She allegedly influences people to live healthily, yet the diary's centerpiece was purchasing Sour Patch Kids at a drugstore? Should I start broadcasting my CVS trips on IGTV and build a personal brand around wearing sweatpants?

If you're not earning anywhere near these numbers, don't feel bad. They're outlandish and not reflective of reality for most people, millennial or not. Maybe you're not a hard-bodied, detox tea-shilling iNfLuEnCeR who gets paid the big bucks for #sponcon, but who needs that pressure? I'm gonna keep posting photos of bodega cats and rolling the dice on street meat. Remember: food poisoning is just a free cleanse!

It's finally Friday. The weekend is here and it's time to party. If you're planning to drink this weekend, these boozy memes are the perfect pre-game. ​​

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