The omnipotent, omnipresent Mark Zuckerberg is getting a humbling experience on Capitol Hill this week, as senators from both parties are set the depose the Facebook founder and CEO.

Zuckerberg is set to testify on the platforms role in f**king up elections, from selling personal data to research firms to enabling Russian bots and fake news.

This is set to be a crucial moment for the future of social media and the political process, so it's important to focus on the issues, but OMG, it appears that the Zuck needs a booster seat.

Reporters in the Senate chamber noticed something special about the young billionaire's chair: extra padding.

Wow. Does the 5'7" boy wonder need the boost to see, or just to get comfy?

Twitter has theories.

Good luck out there, Marky. Try not to give off the impression to the senators that you know their birthdays, what their children got for Christmas, and what their high school crushes are up to, which we know you know.

The omnipotent, omnipresent Mark Zuckerberg testified before a joint hearing of the Senate Judiciary and Commerce committees, and it was almost as awkward as Mark Zuckerberg. Asked extensive questions about what the hell he and his company are doing with 2.2 billion peoples' personal information, Zuckerberg apologized profusely for messing up a whole bunch of times during the 2016 election.

A whopping 44 senators (that's 44% of the whole Senate!) got a tight five minutes to ask him anything, and here are the most bonkers moments.

1. Zuckerberg's seat needed a little boost.

You have to make due when there's no phone book available.

2. Someone attended the hearing dressed up as a Russian troll.

You gotta pay the troll toll.

3. Saying that Zuckerberg looked like a deer in headlights is an understatement.

4. Senator Bill Nelson (D-FL) asked if he could get Facebook to stop showing him so many ads for his favorite chocolate.

5. The geezers on the Senate Judiciary Committee didn't even know how to ask questions about the interwebs, and got comprehensively trolled.

6. Zuck confirmed that Mueller's team has reached out to Facebook—and that they're cooperating. *thinky emoji*

7. People also couldn't stop joking about Zuckerberg's Dumb and Dumber-inspired haircut.

8. The 84-year-old Senator Orrin Hatch (R-UT) learned about ads, and Zuckerberg couldn't help but laugh.

9. Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) totally lawyered Zuckerberg with a question about his hotel to make a point about privacy.

Sen. Durbin: Would you be comfortable telling us what hotel you stayed in last night?

Mark Zuckerberg: No.

*everyone laughs, Durbin says that that's like Facebook taking peoples' information without their permission.*

10. Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) printed out quotes from all the other times Zuckerberg went on an "apology tour."

11. Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) seriously asked why Facebook took down a Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day page, trying to get proof of a vast right-wing conspiracy.

A simple Google search revealed that that question made no sense.

12. Senator Brian Schatz (D-HI) asked Zuckerberg to explain the terms and conditions that nobody actually reads.

Schatz asked Zuckerberg to explain the issues of privacy that people are worried about, and Zuckerberg played dumb.

13. Zuckerberg kept humbly referring to the origin story of Facebook starting in his humble Harvard dorm room.

"It started in my dorm room!" answers everything.

Because nothing bad or irresponsible has every happened in a college dorm, eh?

14. Everybody couldn't stop making jokes about The Social Network.

What's Ronnie from Jersey Shore up to lately, you never asked? Well, other than promoting the gang's new show Jersey Shore Family Vacation, the reality star is also busy becoming a new dad!

This is great news for many reasons, including the fact that Ronnie's baby mama is not Sammie "Sweetheart" (spoiler: she wasn't), with whom he had a notoriously dramatic on-again, off-again relationship on Jersey Shore.

Because it looks like this:

Ummmmmm, what?

Some may consider this a photo fail. But the internet is obsessed, calling it iconic.

According to the news' sources "in Trump's orbit," "several people close to Mr. Trump," and "a Republican close to the White House," President Donald Trump is still reeling from the news that the FBI has raided his longtime lawyers' office and home.

Here's why Trump's Tuesday, April 10th, 2018 was awful—whether he faces the consequences today or later on.

1. It started with a CAPS LOCK, regularly scheduled freakout.

2. It was reported that the Michael Cohen documents seized by the FBI are indeed about Trump......and his affairs.

According to The New York Times, the FBI isn't only interested in Cohen's (possibly illegal) payoff to Stormy Daniels, but a deal with former Playboy model Karen McDougall:

The search warrant carried out by the public corruption unit of the Manhattan federal attorney’s office seeks information about Karen McDougal, a former Playboy model who claims she carried on a nearly yearlong affair with Mr. Trump shortly after the birth of his son in 2006. Ms. McDougal was paid $150,000 by American Media Inc., The Enquirer’s parent company, whose chief executive is a friend of Mr. Trump’s.

3. White House staffers are telling the press that they fear an unconstitutional purge is coming.

"He’s losing his shit," a GOP told Politico. "We’re at a different level now."

According to the Times:

The episode has deeply unsettled White House aides, Justice Department officials and lawmakers from both parties, who believe the president may use it as a pretext to purge the team leading the investigation into Russia’s meddling in the 2016 election.

"Mr. Trump’s advisers have spent the last 24 hours trying to convince the president not to make an impulsive decision that could put the president in more legal jeopardy and ignite a controversy that could consume his presidency," they add.

We all know how Trump feels about leaks (he does not like them).

4. The New York Times also reported that Trump tried to fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller in December, which could come in handy for the obstruction of justice investigation.

"In early December, President Trump, furious over news reports about a new round of subpoenas from the office of the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III, told advisers in no uncertain terms that Mr. Mueller’s investigation had to be shut down," The New York Times reported.

Trying to "shut down" an investigation sure sounds like obstruction, according to pundits and experts.

Trump whisperer Maggie Haberman notes that there are only two instances in which Trump tried to fire Mueller... that we know of.

5. CNN reported—in present tense—that the president is considering firing Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein AS WE SPEAK.

Did someone leak this just so the boss could watch cable news coverage of how disastrous this would be? Firing down the chain of command to get to the person investigating you does not end well. Has he even read the Wikipedia for Watergate?

6. Michael Cohen complimented the FBI, which suggests that he's flipped.

Nobody goes out of their way to compliment the people who just raided their home and office unless they think that the raiders have something on them.

For insight into how much this sucks for Trump, check out this thread from New Yorker writer Adam Davidson.

Just yesterday, a very pregnant Khloé Kardashian posted this adorable photo of herself with her boyfriend/baby daddy Tristan Thompson to Instagram.

Then the cheating drama surfaced.

According to People, a source has come forward and said that the Cleveland Cavaliers player is a "serial cheater" who has been unfaithful to Khloé throughout her entire pregnancy.

Khloé Kardashian is currently nine months pregnant, and is set to deliver her baby girl any day now. This is Kardashian's first child.

The Daily Mail broke the story of Thompson bringing a mystery woman back to his hotel on Saturday night after being spotted cozying up to her at the PH-D Lounge New York City earlier that evening.

Soon, photos and videos of the woman and Thompson entering the hotel were shared on various websites and social media accounts, including celebrity gossip blog The Shade Room:

The two were also spotted leaving the hotel about four hours later.

But the drama didn't end there.

In the wake of the scandal, TMZ uploaded this video from October 7, 2017 of Tristan getting frisky with two women at a hookah lounge outside Washington D.C.

"Tristan has been consistently cheating on Khloé," a source tells People. "He’s a serial cheater. And there will be more women to come out of the woodwork."

History seems to repeating itself for Kardashian, whose first husband Lamar Odom admitted to cheating on the reality star during their relationship.

According to People, Khloé is currently Cleveland preparing to give birth to her first child. So far, she has remained silent on all cheating allegations.

Social anxiety is really rough. It can keep you away from friends and family, and lock you into loneliness. This week, YouTuber Jessie Paege tweeted about real social anxiety (not just introversion or liking to be alone) and as her tweet went viral, she got a lot of responses from other people who suffer from the same problem.

In her tweet, she wrote, "Social anxiety is not 'omggg I love netflix and I hate everyone,' it's longing to go to social situations that are easy for other people, wanting to use your voice, but feeling stifled, feeling trapped in your thoughts, and so much more."

Other people chimed in with their own experiences with anxiety.

For some people, one of the worst parts is having people tell you just "stop being anxious."

One person pointed out how the media portrays social anxiety as just adorable shyness, but that's not even close to what it really feels like.

Social anxiety doesn't always present in the same ways. Some people can mask it at times, or be fine in certain settings but a mess in others.

Jessie Paege pointed out that just like a broken leg, your brain sometimes needs healing. It's never a bad idea to get mental health treatment, if you can.

And remember — even though you may feel alone, you're not.

Another one bites the dust.

According to Axios, House Speaker Paul Ryan has told people in his inner circle that he will not seek re-election in November, and will be retiring from congress at the ripe old age 48. Speaker Ryan is expected to make the news public later today.

The Wisconsin Republican was first elected to the house in 1998, and has been serving as Speaker of the House since 2015. In 2012, he ran an unsuccessful bid for vice president alongside Mitt Romney.

As soon as the news of Ryan's retirement broke, Twitter started making jokes:

Axios also reports that Ryan has had a noticeably harder time doing his job since President Trump was elected in 2016. This may be the reason he is deciding to stand down.

As of this year, Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi's net worth is up to $4 million, but that was not always the case. In fact, back in 2009 when she was filming the first season of MTV's Jersey Shore, she was making much, much less.

"We would get $200 a week from the Shore Store. I had never gotten that much in a week, like, every single week, because you usually get paid every two weeks," Polizzi said in an interview with InStyle. "That was crazy for me."

The 'Shore Store' was a t-shirt shop on the boardwalk in Seaside Heights, New Jersey— a short walk from where the cast resided. Polizzi also confessed that much of the time, she was getting paid exclusively in gift cards.

By the time the show was in its sixth and final season, Snooki and her cast mates were each paid close to $150,000 per episode. That means Snooki was paid about 1.8 million dollars for the season.

That's a long way from $200 bucks a week!

After Jersey Shore, Snooki filmed the spin-off series, Snooki & Jwoww, which lasted for four seasons.

At age 30, Snooki is now married with two children, and the self-proclaimed "meatball" is still lucrative AF.

In addition to making appearances and running her own clothing line, Snooki is also appearing on the Jersey Shore reunion show, Jersey Shore Family Vacation, which is probably another nice paycheck for the reality star.

Hey, sometimes it pays to party!

But Snooki reveals that she is much more financially responsible now.

"I have a retirement account. As far as when I’m going to stop working, I never want to stop, because I love what I do," the reality star shared. "I love reality. I love having my own brand and my own business. I like keeping busy. If I’m not doing anything, I feel like I’m wasting my time. I definitely don’t want to stop, ever. I’ll work until I stop breathing."

You know how it is — you're having a romantic moment with someone you care about, and you're both really present and aware of this closeness that you feel. Only it turns out that one of you just has one thing on your mind, and it's not "intimacy," it's "boning."

That's what happened to Twitter user @lildellapenna (whose name is listed as Lillie on Twitter), who posted a tweet showing her caption and her girlfriend's caption to the same Instagram photo of the two of them kissing.

Her caption read "all the pretty girls in this world but i'm in this space with you." So poetic.

Her girlfriend, who's on Instagram as @maggie_walshh, had a slightly different take on the moment, writing, "Rock, paper..." which (do I have to say it? I guess maybe) of course leads one to think "scissors." Which is what they'd probably be doing at some point after this picture was taken.

Lillie ( found the discrepancy in mood so funny she posted that tweet with the pictures side by side, where it blew up on Twitter.

Lillie's girlfriend responded to the tweet, writing, "I'm obviously the soft one," to which she replied, "yea ok."

Sometimes when people start to go viral, they'll post something promoting themselves. Lillie just wanted to hype her dog, Bear.

The tweet drew a lot of reactions.

People thought it was hilarious.

At least one person was at least momentarily shocked.

And another pointed out that they shared an awesome sense of humor, which is really the best thing of all.

Good morning! How's your day going so far? Did you admit to committing a crime on Twitter? Well, the president did!

In his regularly scheduled morning tweet storm about "fake news" (that was presumably crafted over his morning bowel movement), Donald Trump decided to kvetch about the Mueller investigation, while casually confessing to obstruction of justice in a parenthetical.

"No Collusion or Obstruction (other than I fight back)" he tweeted.

He confessed to obstruction while insisting that he didn't commit obstruction.

Needless to say, lawmakers didn't write off interfering with investigations as "fighting back" during the impeachment proceedings of Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton.

People caught on to the casual confession.

I say "fighting back," you say "obstruction," let's call the whole thing off?

Does Trump think that obstruction of justice isn't a crime if you committed it in self-defense? It's not like murder, my dude.

As Jonathan Chait notes in New York Magazine, Trump's use of parenthesis suggests some consciousness of guilt:

The key phrase here is “No Collusion or Obstruction (other than I fight back).” When you say “other than,” you are conceding it fits into the larger category, while identifying it as an exception: I didn’t eat the cookies you left out, other than the one that already had a bite out of it.

Of course, Trump has already admitted to obstruction of justice on camera when he said last year that he fired former FBI Director James Comey because of "this Russia thing," so Trump being openly corrupt is hardly breaking news.

Maybe, just maybe, this time Trump faces consequences with Republicans running for the hills and Mueller closing in on his inner circle and everything.

It's almost prom time, and teenage girls everywhere are excitedly buying their dream dresses and planning their hair and makeup. Leave it to a guy to spoil that fun.

Twitter user @MadisonWitham, who uses the name Maddie on her profile, posted a tweet with some screenshots of texts between her and her boyfriend, as she was showing him the dress she'd bought for prom. She wrote, "so today I bought a prom dress and dropped a dude, eventful day!" Yeah, definitely.

When she first sent a pic of the dress to her dude (which he begged for), she was so excited about it that she changed the photo to black and white so she could keep the color a secret. I mean, that is excitement. This was a big reveal.

And how did dude respond? He told her to get a new dress and then he said she looked like a slut.

WOW. Definitely not the response she was looking for. So she decided to dump the guy. Good riddance to bad trash.

One guy on Twitter accused her of getting "pissy" and being immature, tweeting that her (now ex-) boyfriend was just being honest, which is what women always say they want.

Someone took the time to explain it to him.

A lot of people were definitely curious about the dress.

But Maddie said that everyone would have to wait and see it on Instagram.

Regarding the guy, just as the inimitable Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." And Maddie wasted no time in doing so.

You may remember Chloë Moretz and Brooklyn Beckham from when they were famous kids, but now they're all grown up and cheating on each other! Aw!

The pair have been on-again, off-again for about two years now, but it is safe to say that as of right now, the two are definitely not dating.

On Saturday, Beckham was spotted kissing Playboy model Lexi Wood in a tattoo parlor in Los Angeles.

At the time, people assumed that Moretz and Beckham were still an item. After all, this was only a month after the two posted lovey-dovey Instagrams of each other.

Now people are wondering if the two split or if Beckham cheated on Moretz. Well, judging by these shady Instagram posts...we suspect the latter.

On Tuesday, Moretz posted this to her Instagram story:

Surprise! The song, in case you didn't already know, is about a cheating.

But things have only gotten more dramatic from there.

After Chloe posted that, Brooklyn liked this meme from a fan page:

But two can play at that game.

According to Perez Hilton, Moretz liked this post from a fan page that is captioned "Greetings to @brookylnbeckham from me motherfucker."

Yikes, things are getting ugly.

Hopefully these two can work things out off social media...but if not, this will be us:

People have a lot of different uses for Twitter, from sharing jokes to threatening war with Syria. Twitter user Julia's boyfriend found a new one: letting her know that his phone is missing.

Julia shared a tweet she got from a recently-created account that turned out to be her boyfriend.

Travis, with the new username @itsmeeboo091216, reached out to Julia to tell her that his phone is missing on silent but no, he is not ignoring her!

Julia explained the significance of the numbers in boo's new name.

Not only will Julia and Travis have their happy ending with a wedding, Travis also found his phone.

He'll now have to make a new Twitter account...the sacrifices we make for love.

The tweets went extremely viral, with over 355,000 likes.

Sure, Travis could have emailed Julia or Facebook messaged her, but that wouldn't be as cute.

Given the option of cuteness or convenience, always go for the cuteness.

First Lady Melania Trump is seldom seen or heard, which is why the explicitly pro-Trump media tries to milk every public FLOTUS sighting for all it's worth. The latest installment in the Chronicles of Melania was on Monday when she hosted kids at the White House to talk about their lives, and how she wasn't a total a-hole to a kid who accidentally knocked over "a water."

Fox News gave it the corny internet video treatment, complete with cheesy royalty-free music and captions delivering the play-by-play.

People thought it was hilarious.

As impressive as not cursing at a kid is, many tweeters thought this wasn't particularly something worth highlighting.

Neither of them even try to clean it up....

Just how low is the bar for human decency demonstrated by a Trump these days?

It's not like there's anything else going on.

You heard it, folks: Melania Trump might not be a robot and Fox News is ON IT.

You see them everywhere. That thousand-yard stare. The look of defeat. Parents who have crazy, rowdy kids and are simply exhausted.

But there is a silver lining here. And that is these tweets. So at least we, the readers, win in the end.

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h/t: pleated-jeans

This article was first published by our partners at Awkward.

Over the past two days, Facebook CEO and founder Mark Zuckerberg endured marathon hearings before both the Senate and the House. Zuckerberg—who only once was called "Mr. Zuckerman"—spent more time talking to Congress than he spent talking to people in the past 33 years combined.

Facebook, and old geezers in Congress's total confusion by it, launched a lot of great jokes on Twitter. Here are the best ones.

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You truly haven't lived until you've feared for, or pondered the safety of a baby. This isn't about being a parent, so much as making eye contact with a baby across the room and thinking "wow, that is a small human with no motor skills, is she okay?!?!"

The very clever Twitter user @itskarleytime managed to strike a deep and existential baby-related fear into the heart of a stranger when she received a text from the wrong number.

"When you get home and get the baby settled call me," read the fairly innocuous text.

The response, however, placed the whole interaction into a hypothetical land of forsaken babies.

Her simple response was likely enough to drive the mystery parent into a FRENZY. Where was the baby now?! Had someone, anyone procured the baby?!

Several people on Twitter chimed in with their text responses to strangers.

While these text comebacks and all fun and sassy, one question remains, BURNING in my mind: WHERE IS THE BABY?!

Celebrating an anniversary with a loved one can present a special opportunity to slow down and appreciate all the years of struggle and love you've survived. Well, in some cases, that is.

In other cases, celebrating an anniversary with a loved one (on social media) presents the ideal fodder for Ryan Reynold's propensity for trolling.

When actor Hugh Jackman posted a sweet Twitter tribute to his wife of 22 years, Deborra-Lee Furness, it was only a matter of time before Reynolds swooped in with some of his classic shenanigans.

"I believe in life we need to see and truly be seen by the most important people in our lives. Deb, from day one, we had that. 22 years later ... it only gets deeper. You and the kids are the greatest gift I will ever receive. I love you a gazillion times around the world," Jackman wrote.

Before we get to Reynold's trolling, can we all have a quick cry at how sweet this tribute is?!

Okay, now that we've released all the pure feelings of love and hope from our systems, we can commence to the Twitter banter.

Rather than congratulation Jackman on an impressive 22 years of marriage, Reynolds swooped in with some classic trolling.

"I gave this 3 months. Tops. I was wrong," wrote Reynolds.

The rest of Twitter already had their popcorn hot and ready for the playful exchange.

It's just good to know that love is still real, between Jackman, his wife Deborra-lee, and last but not least, their third wheel Reynolds.

Tristan Thompson returned to basketball last night, making his first public appearance since he was allegedly caught cheating on Khloe Kardashian.

Spoiler alert: it did not go well for him.

According to E! News, Thompson was booed when he was taken off the bench to replace LeBron James during the Caveleir's home game against the Knicks on Wednesday night.

TMZ reported that Thompson was not booed until his face was shown on the screen, but hey, either way— THE DUDE GOT BOOED.

And that's not all. A person in the crowd was seen holding this sign:

Yikes.

The sh*t hit the fan earlier this week when video and photo evidence surfaced showing Tristan cheating on Khloe Kardashian, who happens to be 9-months pregnant with his baby.

Neither Tristan or Khloe have publicly addressed the cheating rumors, but according to Page Six, Kardashian went "ballistic" when found out that her baby daddy has been unfaithful. Khloe is set to give birth any day now.

If you didn’t already know, some hotels will accommodate just about any request, no matter how ridiculous.

So think about that next time you stay somewhere overnight. I think #1 might be my personal favorite…

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h/t: pleated-jeans

This article was first published by our partners at Awkward.