In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes, and ignorant tweets from Tomi Lahren.

When she's not writing short stories about people doing cocaine off the street in San Francisco or calling the border patrol agents separating families "humanitarians," Toga Lockdown is writing her own version of American history.

Her latest chapter is on the futility of marches and rallies.

That's right, you attention-seeking weenies!

Why are you bothering to scream in the streets? It's not like the First Amendment of the Constitution made a point to affirm "the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances"!!!

People on Twitter are pointing out that Tilly wouldn't be able to march to the voting booth if women hadn't marched before her.

There are more effective ways to be an attention-seeker, like becoming a Fox News talking head!

The take is extremely ignorant, and quite disrespectful to the many people who have suffered in the streets exercising their Constitutional rights.

It's not just women and black people who have made change through "attention-seeking foolishness."

This stupidity is getting boring, Tasha.

Start Googling stuff.

If you love sex and laughing at memes, then you are in luck. This meme list may not make your orgasm, but you will laugh and that'll get you in a lot less trouble with HR.

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Just in case you didn't think that the news couldn't get any more cartoonishly insane, the Vice President of the United States officially announced his plan for the creation of a new branch of the military: a Space Force.

Pence is trying to drum up Congressional approval to officially extend the Empire to the Galaxy by 2020, offering no details on how it is to be paid for, if it's even legal according to international treaties, or whether he's a Star Trek or Star Wars guy.

It is truly the dumbest time to be alive.

The president is truly pumped, and tweeting like a little boy who just got a Buzz Lightyear ice cream cake and his birthday party.

Senator Brian Schatz (D-HI) is not on board the mission to the stars.

Here are some tweets from non-Members of Congress that speak to this ridiculous, out-of-this-world moment.

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In March, Australian mother of three Meg Nagle posted a Facebook photo that shows her breastfeeding her sister's baby. According to Little Things, Nagle's 4-month-old nephew apparently refused to take a sip from a bottle containing his mom’s expressed breast milk. So Nagle, who was given permission by her sister, decided to nurse him since her sister was at work.

The infant fell "asleep in minutes" once she breastfed him.

My gorgeous little nephew! While my sister was at work today I tried to give him a bottle of her expressed milk a few times (which he wouldn't take). I could see he was tired so I popped him on the boob and voila, he was asleep in minutes.

Facebook users were somewhat divided over the photo.

I personally get so anxious/angry inside just even thinking about someone else nursing my baby girl.

I don't think it's wrong for others if it's something they're comfortable with. I just personally choose to keep my that bond between my baby & myself only.

I nursed a friend's baby when I was babysitting (with her okay.) Instantly put baby to sleep for a nap. Best thing ever!!! I wish it was more socially acceptable to share feeding duties. So much easier than messing with bottles!!!

According to Today, Nagle wrote a book on breastfeeding with the wonderful title Boobin’ All Day…Boobin’ All Night: A Gentle Approach To Sleep For Breastfeeding Families. She also “has wet nursed before for two different friends.”

"As a breastfeeding mother, when you see a baby who is in need of comfort or milk and the mother is not there or does not have enough milk, many of us feel a motherly instinct to nurse the child, as it's just a biological pull," Nagle told Today.

Growing up in the early days of internet was a wild experience. We were given all of the tools of mass communication and anonymity without a guidebook, and the results were deliciously messy.

One of the quintessential lynchpin of messy online teen behavior was the invention of AIM. On AIM, we could chat with all of our friends at once and carefully handpick AFI lyrics to post as our away messages.

If we were feeling especially wild we could give into the dark side of AIM, conceal our identity, and go full catfish.

A hilarious episode of the Someecards Creep podcast includes several stories of AIM catfishing, as well as contemplations on how the internet creates false enemies.

This episode of Creep explores how not only AIM, but Last FM could be used as a tool for chatting up cuties.

In a similar late 90s early 2000s spirit, this episode of Creep details what happens when the MTV show Room Raiders becomes real life.

Since we've already jumped into the beautiful rabbithole of internet chat culture, and the simultaneous creepiness, beauty and danger of AOL instant messenger, I have gathered 30 painfully on the nose AIM away statuses that many of us had as angsty teenagers.

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You're working too hard. It's definitely time to stop what you are doing and look at these hilarious memes. You'll be clocking out before you know it.

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When Netflix released the trailer for their new show Insatiable, people were absolutely livid and called for its cancelation.

According to the reviews, that would have been a good call.

The show stars Disney Channel alumna Debby Ryan as a fatty named Patty (of course), who had her jaw wired shut, becoming thin, and therefore, hot.

The show drops on Netflix on August 10th, and according to the reviews, it's not only offensive, but terrible, too

Here are the most savage quotes from the universally terrible reviews, which is certain to satisfy you.

"Lazy and dull, but at least it's insulting." -Linda Holmes, NPR

Let me assure you: It is not satire. Insatiable is satire in the same way someone who screams profanities out a car window is a spoken-word poet. Satire requires a point of view; this has none. It generally requires some feel for humor, however dark; this has none. It requires a mastery of tone; this has none. It requires a sense that the actors are all part of the same project; this has none.

"Simultaneously one of the cruelest and most poorly crafted shows I have ever seen." -Constance Grady, Vox

Throughout its 12-episode run, Insatiable crawls its way through a series of tired, stale gags, punching ever further downward, to finish with the most subdued of whimpers in its finale. Insatiable is not only cruel and fatphobic; it’s boring, too.

"The backlash was warranted, for more reasons than one."-Kevin Fallon, The Daily Beast

‘Insatiable’ is unforgivably inelegant as satire. It fails not only to land its purportedly progressive message about body image, but also its storylines tackling sexuality, sexual agency, classism, race, and transgender acceptance.

"The show is not as bad as you imagined. It’s actually worse." -Jen Chaney, Vulture

Insatiable is an equal-opportunity train wreck. It doesn’t merely traffic in stereotypes about fat people; it does the same thing with regard to the LGBTQ community, Southerners, women, Christians, conservatives, African-Americans, and probably some other groups I’ve neglected to mention. It makes jokes about pedophilia and statutory rape that made my skin crawl so severely, it physically slid off of my body, got in my car, and drove straight to the beach so it could take a vacation from this show.

"An offensive mess that goes way beyond fat shaming." -Carrie Wittmer, Business Insider

This is not a show about someone who gets back at bullies; it is about a hot teenager who lusts after an adult man, and about a bunch of people who are horrible to each other.

"Almost unwatchable." -Audra Schroeder, The Daily Dot

Everyone in the town is pretty f*cked up, and while shows with terrible people are popular (Succession is one recent example), the people in Insatiable aren’t even that interesting in their villainy.

"Anyone who called for the show’s cancellation based on the trailer has only seen the tip of an extremely irresponsible iceberg."-Joe Berkowitz, Fast Company

Unlike the overweight people in this show, and in the real world it barely resembles, Insatiable deserves all the shame it’s about to incur.

"Hollow, harmful, and hateful."-Jenna Guillaume, BuzzFeed

I crave stories that show fat people living their best lives, being happy, and most of all, being treated with respect and dignity.

Like the hole in Patty’s soul, it’s a gaping void that can’t be filled.

Not least because I keep being served hollow, harmful, and hateful shows like Insatiable.

"A painfully misguided show, a train wreck of terrible jokes, unpleasant characters, gross stereotypes and idiotic storylines."-Josh Bell, CBR

The performances are as crass and shallow as the humor, full of awful exaggerated Southern accents and over-enunciated lines. Ryan looks like she’s in a daze half the time, and she doesn’t bring the level of darkness to her portrayal that would make Patty into a truly fascinating antihero.

"Much of Insatiable is just indigestible."-Mark A. Perigard, Boston Herald

When Patty and Bob’s lives intersect, Bob sees her as his salvation, his redemption, the queen who will take over the pageant world.

“Skinny is magic,” he tells her.

Patty views Bob as the great love of her life, introducing a major “ewwww” factor to the story.

“He’s a child molester,” she is told.

“Which means I might have a shot,” she replies.

Ew.

"An insensitive representation of bullying and obesity might actually be the least of this show’s problems."-Aisha Harris, The New York Times

Tonally, it seemed to be going for the subversive wit of “Mean Girls” but instead landed closer to “Family Guy” — empty, scattershot provocation for its own sake. And what in the world was that scene in which Patty and the random trans woman we never see again commiserate over body dysmorphia in the bathroom?

It's fairly common for people to use another demographic's experience as a bargaining chip during political discourse. Claiming you're defending the experience of someone else without ever listening to their perspective may seem well-meaning inside your head, but it often comes off deeply flippant.

So, when The Times columnist Iain Martin tweeted about how burkas are disrespectful to deaf people (because they create difficulties for lip reading), people were none too happy.

"Many reasons to dislike the burka, but disrespect of the deaf (who often need to see faces to follow communication) always high on the list," he wrote.

Shortly after his tweet was posted, a handful of deaf people chimed in, requesting that he not deign to speak for them.

He responded by claiming he wasn't intending to speak for them, which didn't go over well.

Suffice it to say, his tweet and then subsequent refusal to listen to people from the actual deaf community got him fully dragged.

His dragging truly reached a peak when the Oscar-winning actress Marlee Matlin quote-tweeted to call him a racist.

Hopefully, this thread will teach Martin to abstain from speaking for full people groups in the future. As well as the rest of us watching.

This is Emmy Rossum, star of Shameless and, as of today, my heart.

If you're not on board the Emmy Rossum train, you may be soon. Yesterday the actor shared this Instagram post with one question on it:

"Want to know what I weigh?" she wrote. Then in the caption she wrote, "Click on my stories, BECAUSE YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN A NUMBER" and she tagged @i_weigh, a body positive movement started by actor Jameela Jamil.

If you went to Emmy Rossum's Instagram stories yesterday, this is what you would've seen:

Ummm...... guilty 😩😩😩

Then she encouraged other women to share how much they "weigh." They did. And she reshared their posts:

For more posts like these, you can head over to the @i_weigh Instagram page:

And since you were going to ask, fiiiine I'll reveal my weight: writes blog articles about body positive movements, afraid of the dark in my 30's, always finds the perfect gif, constantly snacking, strong Uber rating!

Your turn!!!!!!

Rarely does a huge twist in a story de-escalate the drama, so when it happens, it's hilarious.

LA Times reporter Libby Hill shared a woman's anxious post on Reddit, in which she worried that her boyfriend of one year was plotting to "do something terrible to [her] family."

Here's what the post says:

I’ve raised my 7 year old son as a single mother. But last year, I started dating and met my current boyfriend. He’s perfect and is great with kids and we’ve even been flirting with the possibility of marriage recently.

That was until last week, I discovered some disturbing writing by his desk. I don’t know what it means and I’m getting really paranoid. I stole it from his desk. It says:

“Kill the KID d4 Nf6 g6 Nc3 Bg7 e4 d6 Nf3 0-0 Be2 e5”

I have no idea what these numbers/letters mean and I’m really worried about the title that says “Kill the KID”.

I’ve got a really overactive imagination, but I’m wondering if those numbers/letters are co-ordinates of previous children he’s killed or something sick like that. I don’t know. Please just tell me I’m paranoid. I really like him and don’t know why he would write this.

tl;dr boyfriend has weird writing about killing what I assume is my kid.

A wise Redditor, however, explained what the suspicious note means:

Kill the KID is a chess book. KID stands for the King’s Indian Defense. The “co-ordinates” are chess notation.

The dude isn’t planning on killing your kids lmao”

Hill's tweet went viral, because this story is just a delight.

Some people suspect it's fake, but can't we just have this one?

We’ve hit the midpoint of summer of 2018. A season so hot that Death Valley in California — one of the hottest places this side of Venus — just had its hottest month ever. And, guess what, 2019 will be even worse because of global change or climate warming or whatever.

So, we’re decided to hook you up with some deals that’ll help you stay cool from now until we get this ecological disaster sorted out.

1. The original, undefeated beater of heat: the Snoopy snow cone machine

What inspired America’s favorite beagle to get into the shave-ice business? No one knows, but no one’s questioning it, because this product has been a mainstay in every American home since the Carter Administration. You can get yours on Amazon for just $20.

2. Chill on the cheap with this 3-in-1 evaporative air conditioner

Why pay to cool your whole house when you spend half the day in the living room watching Netflix? BONUS: It comes with special LED mood lighting, so you can keep cool in its sexy ambiance. Grab one before it’s gone on Amazon for just $25.

3. Relive the good ol’ days with this “Obama 2012” hand fan

Now, you can stay cool like no-drama Obama with this one-of-a-kind hand fan featuring a picture of the 44th president, before he went gray. Pick it up on Amazon for $12.

4. Keep your dog, cat or ferret cool as a cucumber with this Pet Cooling Mat

If you’re hot, then your pets are hot, too. That’s just science. Show your pet how much you love him or her by picking up this cool pet mat. Buy it on Amazon for $5.

5. You know you do it, why not admit it? Pick up this "I Pee in Pools" black and yellow can cooler

People respect honesty. So be the most respected man or woman at your next pool party by bringing this special "I Pee in Pools" beer cozy. Even if it doesn’t earn you any respect, it’s sure to give you the hot tub all to yourself. It’s on Amazon for just $8.

6. Keep your second most important body part cool with this hat with cooling crystals

Not only will your head stay cool all day with this hat, it’s pretty damn fashionable. Just ask Teddy Roosevelt or Hunter S. Thompson. Grab it on Amazon now for $30.

7. Keep your friends in the backseat cool with this electric car fan.

Just because you didn’t call “shotgun” doesn’t mean you should be hot AF because the A/C won’t reach the back of the car. It’s on Amazon for just $22.

8. Stay cool all day long with this cooling sport vest

Stay cool without the need for ice or electricity. Just dunk this aproney/vesty thing in water for a few minutes, twist dry and you’re got a one-way ticket to coolville.

9. Stay safe AND cool with this Bladeless Misting Fan

Do you know how many people are killed every year due to fan blades? Probably millions. So, you can stay cool without the threat of losing a finder with this bladeless mister. Grab one on Amazon for just $14.

Kids can be so unbelievably mean. Now, with social media, they can be cruel without ever getting caught. Studies show that nearly 43% of kids have had to deal with online bullying, so it’s important for them to learn how to respond to the harassment.

One girl who every kid can take a lesson from is Lynelle Cantwell from Newfoundland and Labrador in Canada. One day, while sitting in math class, she learned she came in fourth place in a disgusting anonymous online poll conducted by some of her classmates on ask.fm.

It was the “ugliest girl” poll.

"It outraged me ... all of these girls are hurt because of this one person who has no heart or sympathy for anything," she told CBC News. "I wanted to be the bigger person, and instead of fighting fire with fire, I decided to fight it a different way and make something that was really negative into something really positive."

So she composed herself and wrote a beautiful open letter to the person who created the poll.

To the person that made the "ugliest girls in grade 12 at hth" ask.FM straw poll. I'm sorry that your life is so miserable that you have to try to bring others down. To the 12 people that voted for me to bring me to 4th place. I'm sorry for you too. I'm sorry that you don't get to know me as a person. I know that i'm not the prettiest thing to look at. I know i have a double chin and i fit in XL clothes. I know i don't have the perfect smile or the perfect face. But i'm sorry for you. Not myself. I'm sorry that you get amusement out of making people feel like shit. I'm sorry that you'll never get the chance to know the kind of person i am. I may not look okay on the outside.. But i'm funny, nice, kind, down to earth, not judgemental, accepting, helpful, and i'm super easy to talk to. Thats the same for every other girl on that list that you all put down. Just because we don't look perfect on the outside does not mean we are ugly. If thats your idea of ugly then i feel sorry for you. Like seriously? Get a life.

Cantwell’s post quickly went viral, earning over 8,000 shares. It also inspired friends to come forward and tell Cantwell how much they love her.

You are a beautiful girl! Inside and out. Don't put yourself down. I remember Tyra Banks said that her mother told her one time at a modeling gig as she was looking around at all the beautiful models and her mom said "there are some really ugly people here" These bullies whoever they are the ugliest people at HTS.

So disgusting what people will do to make themselves feel better these days!! I remember working at Tims and having these kinds of chats with you, people can be AWFUL. Cheep up girl, I'm so glad to see you not letting this get you down and recognizing how great of a girl you are! you're one of the nicest most down to earth girls I've met, not to mention hilarious AND beautiful, inside and out!

Lynelle, you are one of the most beautiful people I have ever met, inside and out. Just because you don't hide your natural beauty under inches of war paint you are considered by some pathetic shallow people as "ugly". If some of these "beautiful" people took off their makeup their faces would match their personalities, which is obviously not very nice. Keep your chin up sweetie you're amazing.

When identical twin sisters, Brittany and Briana Deane, 32, met identical twin brothers Josh and Jeremy Salyers, 34, last year at the Twins Days Festival in Twinsburg, Ohio, it was a dream come true for all four of them.

Both sets of twins hoped to marry another set of twins. The men even pledged to never marry “singletons” or people without a twin sibling. “It’s really been a fairytale come true. Marrying twins is something that's very important to us,” Briana told People. “Even when we were little girls I can remember being in kindergarten, knowing that that is what we saw for ourselves.”

On Saturday, August 4, a year after the couples met at the Twins Days Festival, they were married at the annual event. The wedding was presided over by twin officiants and they wore matching dresses and suits. The theme was “Twice Upon a Time.”

Now, the couples plan to move into the same house and raise children together. “When we have children, my and Josh’s children will be genetic siblings to Briana and Jeremy’s children,” Brittany stold People. “Even though they’re cousins, they’re technically genetic siblings. We imagine it will be like two moms and two dads all raising our families together.”

And that’s pretty cool … and also kinda creepy.

If you've got a filthy mind and you're obsessed with memes then this list is for you. Just don't let HR catch you looking.

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Jimmy Kimmel's 'Mean Tweets' returned on Thursday, and this time the segment featured the internet ripping hip hop artists and rappers to shreds.

Lil Wayne, Eve, 50 Cent, A$AP Rocky, Dj Khaled, Big Sean, Tyler the Creator, Awkwafina and Pusha-T were just a few of the artists who were subjected to the cruel critics on Twitter. Luckily, many of these people know how to handle a diss-track.

Check it out:

Yes, 50 Cent may have once rapped these lyrics:

"Keep thinkin I’m candy till ya f*ckin skull get popped
And ya brain jump out the top like Jack-in-the-box
In the hood summer time is the killing season
It’s hot out this b*tch that’s a good ’nuff reason"

...but he still can get his feelings hurt when you say mean things about him on the internet, okay!?

However, we don't know how DJ Khaled is ever going to come back from this one:

Even if you're not a morning person, these memes will tickle your funny bone.

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For whatever reason, breastfeeding in public is a hot-button issue. It seems like everyone has an opinion on when, where, and how mothers should be feeding their babies. Often times, women who breastfeed in public are ridiculed, shamed, or told to "cover up," as if the sight of a boob could scandalize everyone within a 5-mile radius.

But there are women fighting the stigma around breastfeeding in public, and they are doing it in witty, hilarious, and badass ways.

Facebook user Carol Lockwood shared this photo of her friend's daughter-in-law and her genius response to a man who asked her to 'cover up' while breastfeeding in the 90 degree heat:

Many people applauded the woman's clever response:

"There is a time and a place for breastfeeding," wrote one commenter. "Whenever your baby is hungry and wherever you happen to be."

Another said: "'Covering breasts while feeding is simply respectful of others'. Surely looking elsewhere whilst a mother FEEDS her child is the more respectful thing to do. No one asks you to eat a meal with a cloth over your head in the summer heat so why should an innocent child have to suffer. People should mind their own business. This society is all for bashing women for being a god damn woman. Covering up or not she’s doing an incredible thing. People aren’t gonna feed that baby with opinions."

But not everyone was on board:

"Sex and childbirth is natural but would you want to experience them in public with people looking? Cover your breast while feeding good grief. Your breast is for the baby not the rest of us to see," said one woman.

"Give the flip a dance pole. Maybe she can earn a few bucks while she is nursing. She certainly has problems exposing herself to public at large," added another commenter.

What do you think?

In general, parenthood involves some awkward conversations with your children. You have to finesse an arsenal of non-traumatizing ways to discuss sex, puberty, media literacy, and issues specific to your family all while considering how much your child can handle.

The demand for this graceful balance is multiplied to the 8000th flaming hot degree if you're Kim Kardashian forced to explain your fame to your 5-year-old daughter North.

Kim was faced with this challenge recently when North finally popped the big question: "mom, why are you famous?!"

Understandably, Kim wasn't ready to sum up the ways she built an empire off a leaked sex tape intended to shame her, to her five-year-old nonetheless. So, she went a simpler route and answered by attributing her fame to the television show. Which, to be fair, is what has technically sustained her fame.

Kim shared the anecdote on Big Boy's Neighborhood radio show. Her answer to North was the ship that launched a thousand tweets.

People online were fully feeling themselves as they roasted the discomfort Kim must have felt in the moment. But no one was truly coming for her answer, North is only five, explaining the genesis of the Ray J sex tape can wait at least another five years.

There is truly no handbook on how to talk about your life-altering viral sex tape with your young daughter, but perhaps in coming years Kardashian will write one and make millions.

You don't have to be a boss ass bitch to relate to these hilarious memes, but hey, it worked for me.

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Jimmy Kimmel has done the unspeakable, he has rendered Kanye West speechless, and the internet is freaking out at the fallout of the unthinkable moment.

During a recent interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live, the pair talked about everything from the process of designing Yeezy shoes to Kim's recent visit to the Oval Office to grant clemency for Alice Johnson.

The conversation didn't start to get hairy until Kimmel started to gently grill Kanye's love of Trump, essentially asking him to justify his recent MAGA sentiments.

At first, when asks about the (deserved) backlash he's faced for supporting Trump, Kanye spouted some some feel-good but ultimately nonsensical abstractions about how "one by one by one we can diffuse this nuclear bomb of hate...by thinking of everyone as our family."

But his flowing justifications came to a quick halt when Kimmel used Kanye's past indictment of Bush as a launching pad for a loaded question.

"I think that’s a beautiful thought, but in literal terms, there are families being torn apart at the border of this country. There are literally families being torn apart as a result of what this president is doing... Whether we like his personality or not, his actions are really what matter. You so famously and so powerfully said, ‘George Bush doesn’t care about black people.’ It makes me wonder what makes you think that Donald Trump does — or any people at all?"

Kanye's response was complete silence, he folded his arms in distress and gazed off into the abyss in a pissed off manner.

This silence from Kanye naturally cued a raging river of responses from the viewers of home.

We will all be waiting patiently to see if Kanye ever does decide to answer the question of whether Trump cares about black people. I have a feeling it's a hard no.