While many parents are leaning away from only giving their daughters pink toys and their sons blue toys, there are still definitely some sexist attitudes from parents when it comes to the gender of their children.

Toy aisles used to have a stark divide between the toys that were traditionally more for girls to play with and toys that were more marketed toward boys. With rows of hot pink barbies and then plastic trucks and cars on the other side, it often made children uncomfortable if they wanted to play with something that didn't "match" their gender. As we progress as a society and learn more about gender being fluid, it seems rather archaic to still force little girls to only play with pink baby dolls and kitchen sets and not allow a little boy to play with a doll instead of a set of cars or train set. All toys are for everyone, it's time we stop with the pink and blue nonsense.

So, when a recent Reddit user decided to consult the moral compass of the internet (Reddit's "Am I the As*hole?) about an awkward family argument involving a very sexist uncle and his 6-year-old daughter, people were ready to weigh in and deem a verdict.

AITA (Am I the as*hole?) for informing my uncle that he is responsible for his daughter's gender and not his wife?

My uncle Jesse, aunt Lola and cousin Poppy(F, 6) visited us today. It had been Poppy's birthday last week and we hadn't been able to visit them to wish her, so we gave her the gifts we had bought for her.

My parents bought her a doll house and some clothes and I bought her a remote controlled car and some toy binoculars. Aunt Lola and Poppy was very happy and accepted the gifts but my uncle looked annoyed when he saw what I'd bought for Poppy.

I asked him if something was wrong and he asked me why I bought "boys toys" for his daughter when she was a girl. I asked him if he is saying only boys can play with remote controlled cars and binoculars and he said yes. He asked me why I didn't buy her a doll or a kitchen set or something more feminine. I stared at him incredulously and told him that anyone can play with these and toys aren't gendered, but he kept insisting they are and started to get angry.

My mom told me to let it go but I found it ridiculous that he was already restricting his daughter's choices at such a young age and forcing her to be "feminine". Uncle Jesse then said "If I had had a son, then these gifts would be acceptable. Unfortunately it is Lola's fault that she gave me a daughter, so don't give Poppy such masculine gifts."

I knew my uncle wasn't very educated but this was the dumbest thing I had ever heard someone say. I informed him that it was his sperm that decided Poppy would be a girl, it isn't Lola's fault at all. That Lola has XX chromosomes and he had XY chromosomes and I basically went on a rant explaining how everything works. He was extremely angry after this and told me to stop lying and to shut up. He picked up Poppy and told Lola that they're leaving, they took only the gifts my parents brought and asked my parents to "teach this idiot manners". My dad yelled at him for saying this and my mom didn't say much to them but told me I had stepped out of line. That I should have just stayed silent and ignored what he had said. She said I was extremely rude.

AITA (Am I the as*hole)?

Here's what people had to say:

NTA (Not the As*hole) for giving a basic education about gender socialization and human biology. Your uncle sounds like a bigot. From experience, though, I will say that you might not be able to change your uncle’s mind, so perhaps it’s better to focus on being a positive influence in Lola’s life. - mckinnos

Omg. From a female engineer that does lots of "boy" things. NTA

Where's that flowchart to decide if a toy is for boys or girls? It goes something like:

1. Do you operate this toy with your genitals?

If No - it's for everyone!

If yes - This is not a toy suitable for children. - caturday_drone

NTA (Not the As*hole) Your uncle is very sexist and you did the right thing by educating him, you were not rude at all. Why did your Aunt get married to someone so misogynistic? I hope you check on her and ensure she's alright, he sounds like a really shitty husband and father. - cataleyajackson

Your mother telling you that you should have just stayed silent instead of educating your uncle is the reason ignorance perpetuates. You did the right thing in explaining the 'facts of life' to your uncle. He is just too stupid or too scared to accept that he is responsible for the sex of his daughter. - sirharryflashman

his sexist uneducated ass needed to be handed to him. Tell your parents that you will never stop doing that, even if it upsets them. - annoyedpotatolady

Maybe for her 7th birthday you should seek some guidance from her father regarding an appropriate gift. Is it time to start getting her dowry together? What skills does she need to make sure she is suitable for society? Oh, is she still at school, but she only needs to know how to keep house right?

Definitely see what you can do to keep communication with this girl, she's going to need support when she becomes a teenager!! - whyamisoaweasome9

Your uncle is abusive and your mother and aunt are spineless. Good on you for speaking the truth and breaking the cycle of ignorance in your family. Good luck! - NS_Tulkas

You were rude? Why is it acceptable for him to be rude to you? It's rude and hurtful to complain about a gift, but I guess your mom was okay with that. At least your dad reacted appropriately to you being mocked and mistreated.

Your uncle sounds like a misogynist who got embarrassed for letting his 'stupid' show. - ThrowAwayFoodMood

So, there you have it!

Everyone definitely agreed that this cousin was not at all in the wrong for taking the opportunity to educate their sexist uncle on the basics of human reproduction, and that they should definitely continue to be a positive influence on Poppy in the future. Good luck, everyone!

Kids don't have a filter and can be unabashed truth-tellers, which can be pretty funny and adorable. Except when it's loud, inappropriate, and in public—then it's 100X funnier! Unless you're that kid's mom or dad, in which case it can make you want to flee society out of shame.

Someone asked parents of Reddit: "what's the most embarrassing thing your children have done in public?" Here are 19 of the funniest stories from parents about being publicly humiliated by their kids:

1.) From ivy_tamwood:

I was grocery shopping with my daughter, then 2(ish). She's sitting in the cart and starts squinting one eye and yelling "Arrrrr" like a pirate. Does this a few times. I turn to pick something off the shelf and see a man behind me wearing an eyepatch. Oops.

2.) From Mistah-Jay:

My son was at the park playing with a little boy and they were having a great time when he suddenly yells to me across the park, "LOOK MOM! I HAVE A BLACK FRIEND NOW!"

3.) From [deleted]:

My three year old has very recently become quite proud that he knows the difference between men and women. Before now, everyone had a penis. But not anymore. His greatest joy has become shouting at random women that they have a vagina and mommy has a vagina too. Then will follow up that he has a penis. Luckily it's got all humorous responses so far. Doin my best to get this craze to die down...

4.) From alecbrownbear:

My father-in-law was at the store with his youngest daughter who I think was like 3 or 4 at the tine, and they got in line to be checked out, and she was running around and went between his legs and accidentally head butt his groin and exclaimed (she couldn't pronounce her r's well, mind you)

"ugh, dad youw weinow hit me in the face!", then stood in silent contemplation and said "it's okay daddy, I love youw weinow".

He was absolutely mortified.

5.) From Auntie_Ahem:

Not the parent in this situation, but my mom says this is definitely her most embarrassing one. We went to my brother's basketball game one day. Bleachers were packed. She turned her back for a second to help me with something. Suddenly she hears "oh my God!" And turns around to see my 3 year old sister has stripped down and is running around naked, happily waving her hands shouting "weeeee" in front of 100+ people.

6.) From Rosie_Cotton_:

We were sitting in a booth at a restaurant, and my three year old was peeking over the back at the people behind us. He hollers, "hey, why is this guy bald?!" I pull him down and quietly explain that we don't comment on people's appearances, because we don't know if something we say might hurt their feelings. He asks me, "if I have a question though, can I ask quietly?", and I answer him, "yes, if you have a question about somebody, you can whisper it in my ear."

Before I realize what's what's happening, my son leans down over the man's shoulder and whispers in his ear, "why are you baaaaalllllld?"

7.) From incrediblecheving:

I thought my nephew was clapping his hands behind and turned to see what he was so happy about and he was apparently slapping a bald guys head instead. This is the same kid that hid underneath an extremely obese man's stomach. He sat on his feet and tucked himself in really well

I do not have kids...not gonna do it

8.) From [deleted]:

When my middle son was around three, he would constantly point at different people and say "penis" if it was a guy and "vagina" if it was a girl. We tried to get him to stop saying the words in public, but eventually figured it would make more sense to not make a big deal out of it and wait for him to get tired of it and stop.

We were at the mall one day and the cashier was ambiguous looking. I myself wasn't entirely sure of their gender until I saw her name tag. My son looks at her and says, "Penis or Vagina? Which one?" Surprisingly she didn't seem offended and said, "I'm a girl", to which my son responded, "Oh, vagina." The cashier was a great sport about it and laughed it off.

I can laugh about it now, but I avoided that store for a while after that.

9.) From [deleted]:

I have four kids. Three boys and one girl. My daughter is the youngest.

She is 2 and we recently started working on potty training with her. She asked to go to the bathroom at a restaurant, so I obviously took her. She started asking if she could try standing up to pee like her brothers. I explained that she can't because she doesn't have a penis. She started screaming, "I want a penis! Give me a penis!" over and over and over again. Pretty embarrassing.

10.) From meh_nummeh_nuh:

When my son was 4, we were in line at Target:

Son: Mama, why do you have a fuh-china and I don't?

Me: (almost whispering) Because boys and girls are built differently. But let's talk more about this at home. Did you have a good day at school?

Son: (loudly) ohhhhh wait! I know! When I turn 5, my penis will fall off and THEN I will have a fuh-china. Right?

Me:

Cashier:

Son: ....Or maybe you'll grow a penis?

11.) From N79806:

In a busy Target with my 2 yr old son, and while shopping I had to fart. So we went down a vacant isle to "look" for something. Managed to keep it sounding like an extremely soft punt of a slightly underinflated football. IF anyone heard it on the isle over, they could have thought it was anything. Good, we can go on shopping.

Nope.

Next thing I hear is a loud child's voice as giddy as only a two year olds voice can be "Daddy..... You FARTED! HAHAHA" Instinctually I went into damage control mode. Had to loudly say "No I didn't!" in between multiple loudspeaker volume accusations to convince any near-byers.

As we left the isle, a lady exiting the isle over briefly looked my way. I could see her holding in her laugh.

12.) From SuchANiceGirl:

As an infant, my daughter had insanely loud and foul old man farts. So loud and so heinous that one would be hesitant to believe such wretched nonsense could come from anyone other than the adult she was with.

At two, she pointed to every Target symbol as we walked through the store and exclaimed, "boobies!"

At three, she asked a rotund woman who looked to be in her 50s exactly how many babies she had in her belly (prompted by the fact that I was pregnant with my son at the time).

At four, she told people who were smoking at building entrances that they smelled bad and were killing her lungs. Every. Time.

I could keep going, but you'd just think my kid is an asshole and she's really not. But she kind of is sometimes.

13.) From Taffy23110:

Got a note from the preschool teacher that my son mooned his entire class on the way back from religious ed.

14.) From 4LightsThereAre:

I'll do one per kid. Thankfully I only have two kids right now.

My 4 year old daughter is a very polite, very well spoken little girl, but she's also very.....blunt. So we're in the Winco restroom and a few stalls down a woman is going to town on that potty. And my daughter very loudly says "Oh my goodness, Mommy, some lady is pooping! She's pooping SO loud! She has waterfall poops! Maybe I'll take her some extra wipes so she's clean, okay?" And I'm like "Ssshh! SHHHHHH! NO! You're not taking anyone wipes, just mind your own business." And she goes "Hey Miss Lady, you need to flush! It'll stink less!"

That would be the day I found out that my husband taught my daughter about courtesy flushing.

My son is 2 and completely obsessed with boobs. Which he calls "Boops." So I'm in our tiny little local grocery store and this very young gal is walking around with a shirt so low that everything except her nipples were showing. I'm not prude at all, but it was excessive. As soon as my little guy sees her he starts yelling "BOOPS! BOOPS!" And pointing at her. I apologized and walked away.

For some reason she thought it was a good idea to get in line behind us and my son just sat there in the cart yelling "Boops!Boopies!Boops!" Over....and over again. The more I tried to get him to shush, the louder he got and the more he laughed. Pretty soon a bunch of people were standing around laughing while I tried to get my groceries and get out.

He talked about "Boops" for days afterwards.

15.) From NaBacLeis:

Had a summer romance years ago with German dude. We reconnected via Facebook. He came to visit last year. He, his daughter (14), me and my son (12) went out for a meal.

We had garlic bread for starters but I passed on it. When German asked me to try I said 'oh, I'm not eating bread at the moment' and fluttered my eyelashes. Son blurts out 'yeah, she ate a load of it last week and she was farting in the car ALL day.' German fell off the seat laughing.

16.) Fromdanieljohnsonjr:

I took my 4 year old daughter, who is hard of hearing, to the local branch of the public library. After a bit, she said she had to use the restroom. The restrooms were at the front, near the checkout. The branch wasn't very big. Since we'd been to the library often, we let her go by herself.

A few minutes later, I hear singing. The whole library hear's singing. And — LOL — grunting. I'm so embarrassed! Mortified, really.

I later learned from my wife that she trained our kiddo to sing when she went to the restroom so we'd know where she was and that she's okay.

17.) From scuzzy987:

I'd have to say when my four year old daughter found my wife's dildo in her dresser and brought it downstairs at her birthday party saying mommy what's this. Got quite a laugh from the guests. My wife said that's a doll leg and took it from her. We got a metal lock box for our toys later that day.

18.) From wmbenedetto:

When my son was four or five, he introduced me to his friend's mom by saying, "This is my dad. He has a 9-inch penis."

I don't. :-(

19.) From thiscouldbemassive:

As a toddler he pulled the fire alarm in a hospital community center hallway, forcing the entire building full of mostly very old people with walkers and canes to evacuate out into the winter rain. I called 911 and explained what happened so they didn't send a fire truck.

The only thing keeping me from being a puddle of shame as a parent was the fact that he was not the first toddler to do this. After a few more toddlers did the same thing, the hospital finally put plastic covers over the fire alarms.

That first message on a dating app can be a real struggle.

Some people try and fail their hand at poetry, others immediately roll in with NSFW requests and demands, and others have a very unconventional approach when it comes to compliments.

Oftentimes, the most successful online dating experiences don't start out with a conversational bang, but grow gradually as most relationships do. On the contrary, some of the worst exchanges appear with a bang, like an exploding star of awful verbiage.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the worst messages and emails they've received while online dating, and it's honestly a miracle anyone ever finds love.

1. From OP:

This arrived in my inbox from a "gentleman" of the interwebs:

"I'm just gonna be really upfront. Please don't get offended because I mean no disrespect. I'm just gonna lay my cards on the table. This is what I want from you....

I want to take you out a date and make all of the guys jealous because I'm with the hottest girl in the building. Then I want to take you out to a restaurant and order your food for you because I'm just alpha like that.

Then I want you to give me a blow job while I'm driving home. When we get back to the house, I want to take a bubble bath with you while we listen to the soulful sounds of Adele.

Then I want to dry you off, carry you to the bed, lotion your body and screw your brains out for 3-4 hours. I want you to scream so loud that my neighbors call the police because they think we're having a domestic dispute."

none of the above was edited.

2. From melaniemuffins:

The absolute worst one I've ever gotten had the subject title "My dick. Your butt." and the message just said "thoughts?"

3. From marginwalkers:

"You should grow your hair out so I can pull on it while I f*ck you.

Also, what are some good tips for going vegetarian?"

4. From daywalkin_ginge:

I don't have any of the copies, as they've been deleted. But I've received a few messages from older women (late 40s, 50s) implying that they want to have sex with me because I either:

1. Remind them of their deceased husband, or

2. Want the strip any remaining innocence from my being

5. From KrissyFivee:

"You got a fat head. I like that." How on Earth does someone respond to that positively?

6. From jericon:

After a good bit of conversing, and meeting in person a few times:

"I don't really like you romantically and I'm not attracted to you, but I want to go on a date with you just to see what it's like to go on a date with someone who actually cares about me."

7. From snackburros:

"Hey, I just want to let you know that I'm not gay but you look really good not too masculine just the kind of guy that I might be into a little bit if you feel like some mutual jerk off you should hit me up and it wouldn't be gay."

8. From bartonar:

"Hey, Bartonar, call me at ###-###-#### and I'll stop by your place and suck your snake, Love Alexis"

The only edit I made was to remove her phone number and my name.

9. From thatsvagtastic:

My friend that's a chick got one that said "I want to tag team you with my husband, then piss in your mouth."

10. From Momulator:

"I may fit the bill of what your looking for. I work in (my city) and spend a lot of time out there. Love curvy woman and I am a p*ssy suckin motherf*cker."

Sigh. Online dating.

11. From shrike71:

I'm a guy, so the experience is probably a little different for us versus women. I'd rate my looks at average/slightly above average, I have a great job, own a home, a car, no debt, etc.. Nothing outlandish in my profile or anything to freak someone out. I think of myself as a pretty solid catch...

Anyway, I was on Match.com and saw a woman and thought "she seems cool - let's shoot her a message and say 'hi'...". I get a reply saying the following:

"You seem like a really nice guy with a lot to offer, but no thanks. I would also like to advise you to know your ballpark and check out women in the same league as yourself. You might have a better time."

I didn't know who she was (nor did I want to anymore...) but damn - that one took a bit to shake-off.

12. From say_tortilla:

To quote the 50-year-old married man with children as old as me: "I want to eat freshly baked cookies right off your pussy and I want to lick the crums of your nippls" (not edited). Here's the catch: I don't do online dating, this dude and many others saw a picture of me online. What the f*ck Internet.

13. From classygafasi:

A few years ago, my girlfriend (at the time) and I were following a book called "This Book Will Change Your Life" that has daily challenges for a full year. One of the challenges was to post a personal ad for the opposite sexual orientation on craigslist.

We each wrote posts that I considered charming, polite, and thoughtful about our interests and personalities. I posted in M4M and she in W4W.

She received some very nice replies from 'other' lesbians asking her out on a date. I got an email inbox full of dick pics. So... what the hell, gay community?

EDIT: I guess I got caught up comparing the lesbian responses to the gay male responses, but the more salient difference was between women and men.

14. From SourCherry86:

I've received a lot of winning one-liners. My favorite:

ur1 spicey pepar

15. From LauretteOB:

I logged on just because of this thread and found this.

"Wow...you're adorable. And seemingly perfect. I think you're my dream girl... I'm actually pleasantly surprised for once. I had begun to lose hope in humanity after being continuously disappointed while on my hunt for a worthy counterpart. Thankfully, you seem to fit the criteria. Well, almost. I've always wanted a vegan wife. Preferably a subservient, naturally blonde, blue-eyed gymnast from Sweden who's well over 6 feet tall and speaks very little English, but I admit that this fantasy may be a pinch unreasonable.

"Willing to compromise", that's a valuable trait in a husband, right? Perfect. So, when should we schedule this thing for? I mean, it's obviously inevitable. We might as well work out the details now. Crowded and fancy or close family and minimal? How many tiers on the cake? Outdoor or indoor venue? Open bar? Traditional or novelty themed? Hmm...All this planning. Let's just elope. Vegas, Baby! Maybe I can win us some honeymoon money at the BlackJack tables. Where else would you rather be on your wedding night than a seedy motel on the strip? At least that way we won't have to worry about our eventual consummation being too rough and kinky. Any DNA laden mess we make will land in its rightful place, the fluid stained petri dish disguised as a comforter. Romantic much?

I'm excited. I even found a pink, plastic ring in my cereal this morning and everything. It's destiny! Come on, Wifey - Elvis impersonators, prostitutes, and homeless people - What could possibly go wrong? Well, I hope you can contain your enthusiasm for just a little longer. Don't get your hopes up too soon. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. You will obviously need to sign a prenuptial agreement first. I can't risk parting with half of my baseball card collection if this thing doesn't work out.

No worries though. I've gone through the trouble of drafting one up for you to contribute to. Feel free to add any stipulations. However, if I were you, I wouldn't even bother reading all 47 pages before signing. You'd just be wasting your time. It's pretty standard. You know, the regular obligation to cook, clean, and pleasure me at any request, the nullification of any financial agreement if you make eye contact with anyone from the opposite gender, and of course, there's a paragraph in there detailing that you have to stay with me for the next decade to have access to the remote control while I'm in the house.

Nothing special. You just have to fulfill your marital role as my submissive, adoring, selfless, 1950's era housewife. And in return? You get access to my fortune. You lucky girl. I bet you never thought that you would grow up to marry a hundredaire. I bet your family will be so proud when we tell them the news of our engagement.

Also, for full disclosure, you're contracted to blast out a munchkin within 365 days of signing. Specifically, a daughter. I'll even let you help name her. What did you have in mind? Clock is ticking. Let's get a bun in that oven, stat! We don't have time to waste. Oh, I just need some information for the marriage certificate. Let's start with your name, birth date and occupation.

There's something about you. Something unique. I'm impressed. Tell me everything. I want to know your story. Your secrets. I just hope that you can live up to your trophy wife potential. It could all be downhill from here. Try not to disappoint. I'm sure you can handle it though. Just one more thing... As a qualifier, to ensure that you're worthy of my eternal devotion, I need to know your top 3 favorite movies of all time. Go!

Your adoring fiancé, Trevor"

My profile specifically says I'm seeing someone and not interested in dates, and every sentence was its own line. It's like it was a gift for this thread.

16. From k_cloudkicker:

I got this a couple of years ago from a guy in Germany (I'm from Chicago):

"Hey, Good morning,– how r u ? You re damned hot , well I should be placed as oyster on your foodplate now. hehe how would I end up? Consumed ? with lemon and champagne? or my other oysterfriends first, who are with me in the box? just like it mean now hehe"

I don't have the response I sent to him saved, but here's his response to my response:

"Smile. Left-handed and horny, so my fantasy just sometimes runs wild. I am a cool easy going guy here and down to earth but now. Hehe, sorry, I just like it maximum mean/cruel now!!! Imagine the scenario ;-) As oyster, I am totally helpless in my shell in front of you. What would you do? Squeeze lemon on me? Put me on your tongue? Pretend I could escape? Hehe….Or do I have to watch as u gulp down my friends first? How's my future now? I guess I would try to escape, but I am only in my shell shivering and waiting for what you re going to do...hehe just like it that detailed ;-)"

Glorious.

17. From SorenSieghard:

"You big ol' handsome bear motherf*cker! Write me back!"

Where have you been all my life?!

18. From mj8:

Most of mine include one-liners about getting my a*shole eaten, somehow. This gem came yesterday, "Ever have your a*shole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?"

19. From Slatz_Grobnik:

In my ad, I made a quick science joke (along the lines of "my expectations are so low at this point that, if I told you how small they were, I couldn't tell you how fast they were going").

Nearer to the close of my ad, I wrote something like "and if you caught the quantum physics joke, I really hope you respond."

Unsurprisingly, a number of people responding identified the wrong thing as the joke.

We've all heard the stories of creepy, paranoid bosses recording their employees every word and movement, or nannies being watched by the parents through conspicuously-placed teddy bear cameras.

When you're being recorded or filmed and you're not aware it's happening, it can definitely be an uneasy feeling when you find out that someone could have actually been watching or listening to your private life. Spy cameras and security cameras can make people feel like they're in a modern version of "The Truman Show," and while hidden-camera prank shows and reality television are definitely fun to watch, things can change when it happens to you.

Even if it's just a prank, recording or filming someone's life without their consent is a serious violation of their privacy and it's incredibly scary to discover a hidden camera or recording device in something seemingly harmless like a pen.

So, when a recent Reddit user asked, "For those of you who have ever discovered a hidden camera or microphone that was recording you, what was the end result of that whole situation?" people were ready to share their creepiest spy camera stories. After this, you might stop judging people who tape up their web-cam...

1.

My brother and I were constantly monitored this way by our dad. We didn't find the recording device, he actually sat us down and played the recording for us where we talked about secretly visiting our mother who we were forbidden from seeing for no other reason than her leaving. He also had a software program on our family computer that would log our chats. That's how he found her address and also found out that I had smoked weed for the first time.

The only thing that really came of these situations were him sitting us down to "out" us and our shared phobia of cameras and hidden audio. - pale_moon_pixie

2.

I was regifted a plastic cactus figurine by a coworker. When I was going to bed I accidentally kicked the cactus over and found a spy cam inside.

I asked my coworker about it and she was freaked out because a guy that made her uncomfortable had gifted it to her a few weeks earlier. She apologized for giving it to me.

I tossed it. - featoutsider

3.

No cameras or microphones were recording me but my landlord had drilled holes in the ceiling of the bathroom in my apartment and the 3 other on the top floor and had been watching us all in the bathroom for a year.

A girl on my floor looked up one day in the shower and saw that he had been looking down on her.

He went to jail but I wasn’t able to do anything because there apparently are (were?) no laws on the books in Iowa to prosecute peeping Tom cases when the victim and perpetrator are the same sex. - trgrote555

4.

My last nanny job was in the summer of 2019. It lasted 3 weeks. The family was...well...we didn't see eye to eye. They seemed totally normal and great during the interview, of course. Every day that I came in after starting, there were more and more red flags.

They would not allow me to close the door when I used the bathroom. Kids were 2 and 5. Their reasoning was that the door needed to be open in case the 2 year old needed me. Okay, maybe I could understand that, but the parents WORKED FROM HOME. They were in the room right off of the bathroom and could easily see me with the door open! So that was just something that was non-negotiable for me and I ended up holding my pee in for a few days because I kind of didn't feel like being seen by the mom or the DAD when I was peeing!

One day, both parents went out and left me alone with the kids. I thought we had a pretty good day. The mom, who was watching us from undisclosed cameras all day, had a different opinion. When I was making lunch, she claimed that I put her children (who were sitting in the living room watching tv) in danger by cooking on the front burner instead of the back, and what if the 2 year old (who wasn't tall enough to do this) ran in the room and banged the pot off the stove and spilled boiling water all over herself? Okay, unlikely, but if you wanted me to use the back burner, all you had to do was TELL ME instead of spying on me. There were a lot more weird things but you get the idea.

After that day with the cameras, we parted ways since I told them in my interview that I was uncomfortable with nanny cams. And they just straight up didn't tell me they had them, in every room, and the one camera could definitely see into the bathroom that I wasn't allowed to be in with a closed door. - fuego09

5.

My ex husband and I had been separated for a few months and I was getting ready to go out to eat with my cousin. As soon as I got dressed, my phone rings and it was the ex hubby wanting to know where I was going dressed like that and my brown boots would look better. (He bought or approved all of my clothes when we were married and told me what to wear when we went out) I found cameras in almost every room of the house. He owned a security alarm business so I assumed there would be one or two but not that he would be watching me all the time. - Liv0613

6.

I worked at a local grill/ice cream place over the summer and our boss was a massive d*ck. We got a soft serve machine but it was kind of janky and would make weird noises when it was overworked. We knew that our boss recorded absolutely everything we did, and sat at home watching the cameras, but what we didnt know was that he was recording audio as well. We found that out when he called to ask why the softserve machine was making noise and nobody had told him. We all talked a lot of shit about this guy because again, he was a huge as*hole, so our manager had to take each of us outside and very quietly explain the situation.

This might not seem all that bad, but this is illegal where I live. I actually went through all the application paperwork to make sure it wasnt in the packet and it wasnt. We couldn't do anything about it because we didnt have proof, but if someone were to get fired for something the mic picked up they could take the owner to court. I'm reporting him for some other things so it wasnt the main concern, but still very much illegal. - Local-creep

7.

An ex-friend of mine was recording us going to the bathroom in his parents house. This was early 2000's, and we were all high schoolers. Technically it wasn't me that discovered the camera, but a friend. He noticed the linen closet was slightly open and says he saw a glint off the lens.

No idea if that was the case but anyone who had used the restroom that night would have been on the tape, as it was nearly fully used up.

We threw the whole camera in the fire and held him back from trying to save it. He got roughed up and (not proud of this) thrown into the fire. He was ok. Minor burns. Didn't even need a hospital.

We told his parents. They moved away the next year.

I sometimes think about what could have happened to him if we were in the early 2010's instead. Pretty sure it would have been way more serious for both sides. - SlickerWicker

8.

This happened to a friend.

She was with some of her other friends (11-14 y/o) swimming in the lake. When they were about to leave, the lifeguard told them that they could change in the lifeguards lockers room and for some reason they didnt suspect anything weird of it.

But when they had already changed clothes my friend noticed a phone recording them and she took it and stopped the recording and left it there.

She went to the police and reported him.

They ended up arresting him, he lost his job.

The police told her that the video was deleted from the phone but that they could find evidence that it existed.

They have to wait 2 years more to take him to court. - guatdefuk

9.

Some young guy filmed me naked in a sauna. I caught him and he looked scared and shut his phone. He ran.

My head was spinning and I took too long out of confusion, to tell a manager. By the next morning they could not identify this person. - SillyGayBoy

10.

We lived next door to my dad’s parents. They had a key to our house because his dad would often come and let our dogs out. Well we started noticing weird things go missing like a box of cereal, $5, just small things like that. So my dad set up a hidden camera in our kitchen to see if it was his dad and sure enough it was. One day he came into the house, stuffed his pockets full of dog treats, and left. We eventually changed the locks and didn’t give him a key lmao - Lyssann24

11.

I come from a large family (5 boys and 5 girls.). As you can imagine things get loud and raucous pretty easily. One night, my sister and I saw my dad discretely put a recording machine on top of the Fridge. When dinner started, we started being the most obviously polite kids: "Sister. dear, would you be kind enough to pass the potatoes?" "Of course, brother dear. May I refresh your water for you?" It only took a couple of minutes before my dad stomped over to the fridge and took down the recorder. "I was hoping to show you all how bad you behave. Well, so much for that. Shape up and start acting like civilized people." My sister and I still laugh about that. - Matthewrmt

12.

My mom set up a hidden camera in my son's room at her place to spy on me while I visit him there because she thinks I'm "up to something". She was asked by our social worker to take it down but they couldn't do much because it's a private residence and she's apparently within her legal rights to keep it there.

So the worker organized for all visits to be at my place instead because she refused to be accommodating and make me feel welcome. - kadesc

13.

Tried to find it.. I once worked in a theme park. I suspected my scumbag boss had a camera in the women's showers. My intuition is usually 100 right. Me being male, I couldn't go exploring. But I witnessed this scumbag sneak over there 2 minutes into his a.m. shift, a few times. Without proof, nothing I could do. Plus he had ties with HR, bosses, etc. But I did warn the women to watch for him, and cameras. Eventually a woman was getting dressed early, he comes sneaking in. Caught. Made up some bs excuse why he was there. Finally a coded lock was put on. Nothing happened to him. He had too many friends. Karma will get him in the end. - ejc61364

14.

Didn't happen to me but happened to a girl at my University.

Her boyfriend hid a few spy cameras in her bathroom and watched her and her roommates for months before they found it. He plead guilty and went to jail. - kaitievicky

15.

Boyfriend and I once stayed in a hotel while on vacation in another state. While relaxing and getting settled down for the night, we noticed a wire coming out from behind the tv (like an antenna). We investigated and it wasn’t attached to the tv, instead it went into a hole drilled into the dresser and the drawer it was drilled into was jammed shut. We forced it open and saw a tiny camera pointing out another hole drilled in the front of the drawer. We covered the camera up and mentioned it to the manager the next morning as we were checking out. They called the police and apparently the police had used that room a few days prior for a prostitution sting and they forgot to remove the camera. The cord sticking out from behind the tv would have been connected to a memory bank and power pack of some sort. It was a scary experience. We talk and laugh about that often. - zkaaayk2

16.

One morning after swim practice my freshman year my friends and I saw a blinking red light in a locker with a towel draped down the door. Turns out it was a janitor we called creepy bob recording us in the showers... - Stealthy_Bomber

The dating app may be a disaster zone, but the only thing more frustrating than being on Tinder is having been banned from Tinder for an extremely stupid reason.

Comedian Carter Hambley was recently banned from Tinder after being accused of "the definition of catfishing" for featuring Baby Yoda.

Ridiculous, it is.

Here's the extremely realistic, offensively misleading picture:

A woman named Roz was disappointed to learn that Carter does not own a Yoda doll.

"Where did you get that Yoda doll?" she asked of the so clearly copy-and-pasted image.

"Haha it's just photoshopped!" he confessed. Roz was pissed to have been mislead that way. She's on the hunt for a Baby Yoda doll, and must have not been to a Target, Walmart, or Disney Store in the past few months because Star Wars toys are indeed everywhere.

She called the Photoshop job—which doesn't misrepresent Carter other than showing him chillin' with a fictional character—"literally the definition of catfishing."

The "liar" and "sneak" was then banned from the app for claiming to know that tiny fake alien.

Over one million people liked the post.

Carter's not the only person who was banned from Tinder. The app seems quick to block pretty much anybody if they've received a complaint, regardless of what the complaint is about.

Tinder finds it "inappropriate" to make fun of Titanic.

Don't you dare wear a T-shirt that questions the comedy stylings of men.

She got banned because of conservative snowflakes.

Okay, this ban might be understandable.

Finding love is even harder than finding a Yoda doll (seriously Roz, just Google it).

It doesn't matter how smart or good at your job you are, there's always going to be at least one annoying person who thinks they can explain your line of work to you.

Unfortunately, these people are everywhere, walking among us, possessed by some demonic urge to talk down to us about our jobs. Maybe they weren't hugged enough as children, or perhaps they were hugged too much, either way - it's god awful having someone try to teach you about your own profession.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the most ridiculous thing someone outside of their profession claimed to know, and the unbridled confidence is truly wild.

1. From JackofScarlets:

"Canon don't make professional cameras".

Ok buddy.

2. From toeverycreature:

EMT. Went to a chest pain call out for an older guy. The wife kept insisting that he just needed a few more sprays of her GTN(a potent and potentially dangerous oral spray used to treat angina) and he would be fine. She had already administered goodness knows how much before we got there which had tanked his blood pressure to dangerously low levels. Also after checking him over it became pretty clear the pain was a result of a chest infection and not a cardiac event.

So as we transport him and try to prevent him from dying from the overdose of medicine she gave him she is still harping on that we need to give him more because she knows it will work. When we turn our backs she whips out a bottle of it and tries to give him another couple of doses.

After we confiscated it and sat her back down she demanded we let her use our truck cell phone to call our manager and complain that we were idiots and didn't know our job. When we got to the hospital she then tried to convince the staff there to dose her husband with unnecessary and potentially lethal medication. When we left I noticed security attempting to disarm her of her bottle of GTN (We gave it back when we got to the ER). Presumably, she tried to dose him again.

3. From moonwalkriver:

Social worker here. I had a banker try to tell me human trafficking didn't exist, because she had never personally met anyone who had been a victim.

4. From spaghatta111:

I'm a travel consultant. I have been working in the hotel world for 15 years, working in hotels as front desk, sales, group block coordinator, reservations sales agent, and now I'm a travel consultant.

There was an askreddit thread, I forgot what it was for but someone was b*tching about how the hotel couldn't refund them "How DARE they tell me to contact Expedia!"

Many of the people responding to that person were like "You go girl, you REPORT that place!" or something along those lines

I wrote a response to it, and said, actually...the hotel really can't refund you if you went through expedia. You didn't pay the hotel, you paid Expedia.

"But Expedia BOUGHT THE ROOM from the hotel so therefore I DID pay the hotel!"

No...the room was Expedia's to sell, and you bought it, and the hotel can't refund you. Even if they wanted to, they couldn't, because Expedia has your payment - not the hotel. The third party doesn't provide anything to the hotel other than the dates of stay, your room type, and that's it. They don't even tell us your phone number most of the time. Sometimes they give us a throwaway email.

"That's bullsh*t rabble rabble!"

Well no, it's not bullsh*t. Imagine if I bought 10 candy bars from the grocery store, and then sold those candy bars at whatever price I decided was profitable. The people who bought those candy bars could not go to that grocery store and complain that something was wrong with it and demand a refund from them, because they did not buy the candy bars from them, they bought it from me. That store may even have a nice refund policy, but I may have a nonrefundable policy. And because you bought it from me, you're subject to whatever policy I have in place. Much like buying a room off of Expedia.

I got this biblical flood of responses from people who claimed to be like "I work front desk! I don't know what you're talking about!" and other people who claim to be avid travelers going "That's bullsh*t, the hotel should do something rabble rabble"

Dude...it is literally one of the most basic pieces of training you get in a hotel environment, that if you pay a third party for your reservation, any changes or refunds etc have to go through that company. I reckon none of those people who responded to me actually work in travel at all.

5. From CheeseburgerBrown:

Working in VFX, you will now and again expose someone to a naturally photographed shot you haven't worked on yet only to hear that it "looks fake."

Similarly, a shot in which many things are indeed fake, some yutz will inevitably pick out a REAL object and say it needs to be re-done to fit in better. "It just doesn't look like a natural part of the scene."

"Say what?"

"It looks too synthetic."

"It's a physical prop, shot in camera."

"What did you do to do?"

"I let light fall on it in front of a light sensor."

6. From TheNewestYorker:

I’m an EOD technician. For some reason, there are a ton of combat engineers who think that they can do my job better than I can.

This was told to me by a coworker.

While he was standing around, he saw a Humvee hauling a*s towards him and his team. The terrain was very bumpy, so the vehicle was bouncing around. A combat engineer pulls up, gets out, and says he has to show them something they need to help him with. In the bed, there is an armed anti-tank mine that wasn’t even secured or anything.

They immediately screamed at him, and cleared the area of other personnel. They asked him what the f*ck he was thinking, and he was absolutely convinced that only the pressure of a tank running over the mine could detonate it. He was very wrong; it could have gone off while it was bouncing around in the bed of the vehicle.

He wouldn’t listen, and he was absolutely convinced that he was correct. Fucking moron is lucky to be alive. Well, he survived that ordeal, but probably got himself killed at some point after the fact.

My buddy and his team moved the mine to a safe location and blew it in place.

7. From StNeotsCitizen:

I used to run a pub, and there’s a classic saying:

Everyone knows how to do two jobs. Their own, and running a pub.

8. From dancemag1cdance:

I work for a tea shop. Before this I worked in another tea shop in Britain.

I once had a customer insist that green tea was caffeine free. It's not, if you were wondering.

Edit: Wow! I underestimated people's love for tea. I would like to clear up a few misconceptions about tea but first I would like to state that I am not a scientist, I am in no way a scientific expert regarding tea. I have worked in the tea business for the last six years, I have had extensive training and I am passionate about it. However, I admit that I do not know everything there is to know about tea. However, I do know this:

All "tea" comes from the same plant called Camellia Sinensis. The flavour, properties, caffeine content changes depending on where and how it's grown and then more importantly, how it is processed is what changes the "type" of tea (Black, Green, Yellow, Oolong, Puerh, White etc.)

Since all tea comes from the same plant, all tea has caffeine in it. That caffeine content changes based on the above methods, but also it can change every year on soil acidity, rainfall etc. It also changes by which leaves and which part of the leaves are used to make tea.

Tea has far less caffeine than coffee.

Matcha tea is a green tea that is slowly grown in the shade in Japan and naturally produces more caffeine. It is then finely ground and because of that the consumer is ingesting everything from that plant rather than just infusing tea leaves in water which one take out some of the nutrients from the leaves.

Not being a scientist, I have no idea about this rinsing a tea bag method to lower the caffeine content but I have heard it mentioned throughout the years. However, the longer you brew your cup of tea the more caffeine you will get out of it so you can draw your own conclusions there.

If you think green and white teas are bitter, you are brewing them to long. No more than 3 minutes and try to get the temperature of the water around 79-82C or 175-180F. If you don't have a way of telling the temperature, just let your kettle sit for a minute or two after it boils.

Rooibos is a caffeine-free plant that is grown in South Africa. It has a very distinctive flavour that people either love or hate. Try it with honey and adding your own spices and it is divine. Also, if you love milky tea, ignore the snobs and have drink it like you normally would black tea.

9. From ITS_MAJOR_TOM_YO:

Lawyer here. Someone just told me I was an a*shole because I would not answer a real estate question involving a document I had never heard of for a deal in a jurisdiction I don’t practice in. Told me I had to know about it and was just being difficult.

10. From OilOnMy40X:

Medical Laboratory Technician here...a patient told me that the blood services in our state have him on speed dial because his blood was needed to save all newborn babies. So I said " Oh! You must be O Negative?" He replied very seriously " No I'm O positive." When I explained that he probably was mistaken he got very loud and condescendingly told me he's been donating for years and that if I had paid more attention in school I would know the basics of how blood works. 😑

11. From Well-That-Was-Bad:

I'm a freelance graphic designer, I mainly do logos for small businesses and the like, and the amount of people who ask me to give them discounts because "They could do it." Is absolutely ridiculous. Don't even get me started on people explaining to me why me doing work for them for free will help me in the long run.

12. From WallOtterCarpetSeal:

I'm a mechanic by trade. A guy I know bought an older European sports car to fix up. It doesn't run, so he got it "cheap". I told him that it's definitely going to cost him way more than he thinks, and it's not going to be easy for him to do himself. Not to mention the difficulties of finding parts for it. He would probably save money if he just bought a new one.

He just blew it off and gave me some strange twisted reasoning about how he can do it cheaper and make it better. Okay dude, whatever. So far he's sunk thousands of dollars into it, and it still doesn't run. I believe that he's pretty well invested into the sunk cost fallacy at this point. Bye bye retirement fund.

13. From tiredofghosts:

My dad tried convincing a biology student of the importance of cryptozoology and the existence of Bigfoot.

14. From Kauboi:

Bartender. I'm consistently amazed at how little people know about alcohol.

I've got a million stories but there's one request I've been getting a lot lately. My bar has a Long Island variation that's essentially a shot each of tequila, vodka, rum and gin, along with peach schnapps, sprite, and two very sugary fruit juices topped with grenadine. People have been requesting this drink without the grenadine because they think that extra sugar is what's making them hungover.

Nah man, you're hungover because you just took four shots and consumed 80 grams of sugar. Trust me, that < 1/4 oz of grenadine is not going to make a difference.

15. From ktwarda:

I'm a commercial property manager. In certain commercial leases, it's the tenant's responsibility to maintain plumbing, HVAC, etc. So you don't call your manager and demand your bulbs need to be replaced or toilets leaking like you would in residential.

One of my properties had a main meter from the city then submeters to the individual suites. Our meters were monitored and billed by a third party who would then let us know if a tenant's usage had spiked. We would let the tenant know that they probably needed to investigate since something on their side of the meter was possibly leaking.

We notified the tenant. He freaks out and tells us nothing is leaking. He freaks out further when his bill is 4 times higher. I tell him again, maybe get a plumber to investigate.

He says he doesn't need a plumber because he's a water engineer. Side note: his business was one of those mailbox stores in a shopping center.

Turned out his toilet was running.

16. From connaconnah:

I'm a music producer/engineer/studio instrumentalist and it's amazing how many of the artists I work with (many of whom are talented singers, but have no knowledge of music theory or recording) think they know better than me about it. It slows down an already tremendous process.

17. From donotrocktheboat:

I had someone argue with me that vaccines gave their child Down Syndrome. Yep. Injecting unsuspecting babies with extra chromosomes.

18. From danocdj:

I'm a radio presenter. I once spent 15 mins at a dinner listening to a woman tell me that I didn't work on a certain radio staion. THAT I HAD WORKED ON FOR 6 YEARS.

It was quite honestly the maddest thing I'd ever heard.

"No, no, no. It's not that one...." And if you don't really understand. Don't worry. Me neither.

19. From myymijen:

I sell tickets at a ski resort. Last Monday we had rotary night(where tickets are cheaper than normal and all proceeds go to charity).

Tickets were $25 but if you bought them online they were $20. This one lady comes up and asks for a ticket and I tell her the price: $25. She gets super angry and insists that they are 20$. I show her on my computer how much they are when I ring a ticket up. She claims that nowhere online does it say that the $20 tickets are online only. So, I pull up our website and show her that it does indeed say that the $20 deal is online only.

At this point, she has raised her voice at me, and tells me it didn't say the same thing earlier that day. Which everyone I work with knew it did. She makes me call a manager. He says the exact same thing to her, and explains to here that these tickets are normally 72$ and she is saving money today anyways. Plus all proceeds go to charity!

She gets angrier and states that she isn't here for charity. (we normally aren't open on Monday or Tuesday nights anyways).

My manager proceeds to tell her that there is nothing we can do about the price change, that she can either buy a pass or not. She goes to find her family and comes back with her husband. Who tries to say the same things.

slaps forehead I don't make enough money to deal with this sort of sh*t.

20. From SheWhoComesFirst:

Pediatric nurse, so I love hearing how bad vaccines are, how medications are “toxins” and “chemicals”, how effective essential oils are, how the fact that each nurse does certain things a little different it must be wrong.

Society puts a lot of weird pressure on people to have our whole lives figured out by the age of 30 (as if we're not drunk for most of our 20's?!). But in reality, many of us have no clue what we're doing by 30. Or 40. Or beyond. Life is an ever-evolving journey and sometimes we have to make major life changes to reflect our evolving interests and emotional needs. It might be scary to "start over" later in life, but there's no reason to stick with a career or relationship or life path that's not making you happy, at any age. And it's never too late to go after your dreams.

Someone asked women of Reddit: "What’s your story of starting your life over after 30? Women who’ve started a new career or life path after age 30, why did you decide to start over? What are you doing now? And do you enjoy it?"

These 16 women who "started over" later in life share their inspiring stories:

1.) From KooIaidNfrozenPizza:

I gave up my dream career and am having to start over at 37. My husband of 8 years and I decided to move to Los Angeles so I could pursue a career in styling hair for editorial (magazines/ publications) and TV. He was reluctant at first but became super supportive as I was making way successfully into the field. I loved everything about LA. I made friends in the industry quickly and was working close to 7 days a week. It didn’t feel like work. I was published in a few major magazines, worked on an entire Playboy calendar, collaborated primarily with a local photographer for a monthly mag in Manhattan Beach, had the pleasure to shoot with many famous photographers as well as worked on a few TV shows. I was in heaven. My husband was in hell. He had to drive in LA traffic for 2 hours a day, hated just job, didn’t make friends easily and (since I was working all the time) felt I had abandoned him in a new city. I watched the light that I love in him dim and slowly die. I knew it he was never going to ask me to leave California but I was willing to give it up for him. We moved in two weeks. I didn’t realize the magnitude in what I had given up. Was severely depressed for a year and a half. Almost lost my marriage because he felt guilty and that I should go back. I couldnt imagine life without him. I woke up one day and realized my future is what I make it no matter where I am. I’m currently building my own bridal hair business (would help if Covid would go away) and am more happy in my marriage than ever. I have zero regrets.

2.) From mary_llynn:

My partner left overnight, we lived together, had a business together, I spent a decade worth of savings in our world and they just got bored once day and to coward to tell me so to my face for months.

I very nearly ended up homeless (and my ex was getting off the idea that without them I would have ended up in the street) but thankfully learned quickly.

That taught me a lot about boundaries, about defending and protecting my space and safety and about how and why people can be allowed in .

I was job searching for almost Year before ending up in a call centre cause no one trusts someone who had their own fancy business with a mysteriously disappeared partner.

Turned out more than fine. Those personal boundaries and newfound humility in falling from grace allowed me get a much more team grasp of life, getting to borderline homelessness really makes you want to fight so that no one had to experience it anymore.

Got a job i love, a spouse that respect my boundaries and love me for those too, and have undertaken social activism cause truly, luck can turn on anyone, we have to avoid that happening to people and getting abused and stuck thinking of they leave everything they built will be over and destroyed.

3.) From Ukulele77:

I was unhappy in my marriage and stagnant in life. At age 38 I decided to quit my desk job of 14 years and go back to school to become a registered nurse. In the process I got a divorce, graduated magna cum laude and now have a difficult job that I absolutely love. My kids are happy and well adjusted, and I know it’s bc I took care of me (and because they know they’re my favorite people in the world). I also have a boyfriend who is finally my partner in every way, and growing with him is going to be an adventure. These were the hardest decisions of my life and I am so glad I made them.

4.) From Forgetwhatitoldyou:

Came out to myself as trans and had my wife ask for a divorce within 3 weeks of each other. The two events were unrelated. I've had to rebuild my social network, though several old friends, and my mom, have been great through all this.

I still live in the same place with the same job. But I was with my ex for 22 years (I'm 42), no kids, so I'm taking baby steps in terms of dating etc. I'm hoping to retire in a few years, and trying to figure out what that looks like.

I'm also still settling into the person I am now, who I repressed for so long. And finally dealing with abuse from my ex and in childhood. It's been a wild ride, but I'm in a good place.

5.) From Tesca_:

I went back to school at 32, left a pretty cushy job for it. On paper, the job was everything people want, stable, well paid, good retirement, but I was brutally unhappy almost every day, and stagnant. Thanks to a supportive SO who encouraged me to take risks, I went back to school, found a new career, and while it’s been a very stressful challenge, I love what I do. So far, 100% worth it.

6.) From contessamiau:

Got divorced at 30. Moved from the house we owned to a studio by a lake. Right around that time my friends started either having kids or leaving that area, so I found myself quite lonely.

After a few months of trying to make new friends and losing hope, I decided to move to another state (I moved from New York to Virginia). That was too big of a culture shock, so then I moved to D.C., hoping that I’d feel more comfortable in a more cosmopolitan setting, among other immigrants. Took a new job, where I struggled at the beginning because some of my new coworkers were bullies and not at all supportive.

Three years after my divorce (a year in D.C. I met my now husband, whom I married this year). Now I’m pregnant and five years since my big life change, I finally feel at home next to my husband.

7.) From momskrazy5aolcom:

I left my marriage of 27 years about 4 months ago. He thinks I blindsided him, but I told him when I started nursing school 4 years ago, that as soon as I made enough money to support myself, I was out the door. 3 of our 5 children are grown and the remaining 2 split their time between us. I am happier than I have ever been. I have lost 40 lbs in 3 months, renting a beautiful home with my new man, and I am head over heels in love for the first time in my life. I met my ex husband when I was 16. I do care about him, but I realize now, that we were never “in love”... So I am 43 and starting the best years of my life! New Career...New Home...New Man...New Life!

8.) From rjmoomy:

I'm only just starting to change my life now at 32. I've been stagnant for years, suffering from BPD, treatment-resistant depression, and drug addiction since I was 17. This time last month, I was so suicidal that I was frequently calling into work because I did not trust myself to drive alone in my car without running it off the road. I heard about IV ketamine as a last resort for depression like mine, and decided with the support of my family and fiance to empty my wedding savings and give it a go. My entire perspective on life has changed in the past three weeks thanks to this treatment. It isn't a cure-all, I still have a lot of work to do, but for the first time in a long time, I want to do it. So, in that way, it was a miracle drug. It's still slow going but I'm not beating myself up over it like I used to, just taking one step at a time and giving myself credit for what I do manage, instead of focusing on everything I don't. I'm researching schools and better jobs and actually bought groceries to start cooking again, which doesn't sound like much, but if you had known me over the past decade or so, you would know it's huge!

9.) From theycallmeABCXYZ:

Left my abusive fiancé, graduated with my MBA, started a rigorous and interesting job in a new city, built a solid group of girl friends there. Also froze my eggs to give myself some time to process the abusive fiancé piece. It was a wild year. I’m not sure I would recommend the experience but I’m a totally different (better) person and grateful to have made it through! Hang in there if you’re in the middle of some change right now reading this

10.) From there_are_gray_areas:

When I was 30 I got pregnant and my husband and I decided we'd be okay if I became a SAHM. I had a good job and we were very cushy with us both working. My mental state went down hill very soon after I had the baby. I found a great therapist who has opened my eyes to the psychological abuse I've been enduring my whole life by my mom and also my husband. I started having an affair with my high school love. I felt incredibly ashamed of myself for doing so but he has also helped me learn more about myself. He loves me unconditionally which I have never experienced before. He's been going through his divorce since Feb bc of the covid19. I have my first consultation with a divorce lawyer tomorrow.

I'm 32, about to experience divorce, found true love, and am doing my best to be a good mom to my son and step daughter so they don't grow up feeling how I did.

In the last two years I have learned about and worked on myself more than I have in the previous 30 years combined. I've done things I'm not proud of but I've also done so much more that I am proud of.

11.) From LondonAugust:

At age 31, I was living in China, teaching. I received an email from my husband, who I had been with for ten years, asking for a divorce, so when I returned back to the states, I had nowhere to go.

I'm polyamorous, and my other partner needed a change in living situations, so I upped and moved to another state with a lot of debt and no job.

I picked up a job in healthcare and started my publishing company, a dream I wanted more than anything. My company is publishing our first book next week, and we have 8 other books lined up to be published by the end of next year. I have also started my doctorate in Education, and I'm turning 33 this year.

It's been hard, but I will say, changing my life after 30 has had a lot of benefits. I'm finally going after the things I want. The divorce was traumatic because I loved my partner, but I had no choice in the matter, and I made the best out of a bad situation.

12.) From MochaBunBun83:

I broke up with my boyfriend,kicked him out. Then moved in my daughters father. It was the first time they had met each other. Then I quit my job, General Manager of a restaurant. Packed my car with what we could fit. And my daughter and I drove from Glen Burnie MD, to San Diego California. To be with her dad, he had left a few weeks earlier to go work in Cali. Ummm ended up homeless,living in between our cars and hotels in Mexico.

It's been almost three years. But I am engaged to the love of my life. My daughter knows her father, we have a home, and two vehicles. I'm a housewife and don't worry about a single thing. My fiance treats us like we are the most 0 precious things in his life. And I have never been happier.

13.) From loudegrauwe:

It's not actually my story but my mom's. She had kids when she was 24, me and my sister (planned btw). She helped us grow up and was always there for is, working in jobs I don't think she actually liked that much, not necessarily bad jobs but I don't think it was really what she wanted to do. We moved to another part of the country and had a b&b there, it was very much fun for us because we lived in the countryside, playing outside all day. At some point I just think she wanted to do something more, so once we were old enough (she was already in her 30s by then) she decided to go back to school and get a degree. My father helped out a lot during the day when she was at school (we were at school most of the time too, but in the morning she had to leave earlier and got home a little later). And when she had to study for finals she woke up at 4 am to study while we were asleep and stayed up later when we were in bed to keep studying. In the end she got her degree flawlessly and she is now doing a job she loves, so you're never too old to get a degree and start over

14.) From Maattaann:

My mother was sick and jobless for 19 years... and she accidentally found her talent in coloring and polishing nails... she is really enjoying it... she is 41 now

15.) From SuperiorLeech:

At 30, I started going to the gym and lost 60 lbs. I kicked out my kids’ dad because he was trying to cheat on me (unsuccessfully because he sucks) and started dating a 25 year old. And I started a new job in a mostly male dominated career that I knew little about. Now at 34, I’ve kept the weight off I’d lost, I’m one of the most skilled in my job and I married that no longer 25 year old. We’re looking to buy a bigger house and expand our family.

16.) From HappyDeathCrucifix:

I am starting over right now, at barely 30.

I left my successful little empire in a tiny town, I left family and friends behind to finally be myself and start anew. I just arrived in the USA and your stories give me hope! I hope I will be able to become everything I wish to be and more!

Physically, you're in the year 2020, and it objectively sucks. Hanging out with friends indoors is a distant memory. Every cough you hear makes you flinch. You Google "COVID-19 symptoms" every twenty minutes just to make sure that "weird-looking thumb" isn't one of them.

People are coping with the madness of the moment by visualizing their happy places. The popular meme has people sharing the sets of their favorite TV shows, beloved images from childhood, and some trippy pictures of animals.

If your happy place is a page full of funny memes, you're (physically) in the right place.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

Kids are generally considered to be perfect, innocent little angels who couldn't hurt a fly — until you actually meet a kid, that is.

Whether it's because they're precocious or cheeky or just plain mean, some kids can come out with the sickest burns. A recent Reddit thread asked people to recall the most savage things they've ever heard a child say to an adult. Honestly, some of these burns belong at a roast battle.

1. Way harsh.

The other day my 6 year old daughter was sitting next to me and looked me right in the eye and said “why do you have a mustache?”

I’m a woman, by the way. - kay37892

2. Roasted.

A conversation I overheard between my father and sister:

My father: “Can your little legs carry your big smart mouth?”

My sister: “can your legs carry your big stomach?” - sabsteve

3. This is beautiful.

My ex was a heavy dude. He changed his shirt in front of his 4 year old nephew, who looked at his belly confused and genuinely asked him if his stomach was his butt. - Asak0ptr3

4. Sadly, she's not wrong.

I was at a public safety education event for grades 5/6 representing EMS. I was showing a kid some of the advanced things we do and her teacher asked "So, would you want to be a Paramedic?"

Her reply...."No, I'm going to study business, I want to be able to pay my bills".

Still kinda stings. - Zenmedic

5. Touché, little girl.

Little girl was dressed as a fast food worker for Halloween was being given shit by her aunt for her "low choice" and that she needed to aim higher if she wanted to succeed, whole thing was really demeaning and weird. Girl fired back with: I'm only 12, what's your excuse for being poor then? - amalgamas

6. Oof.

My 8 year old niece-in-law was talking to my brother and me. Since her aunt was dating my brother she asked me who my girlfriend was. I said I didn't have one. She said "Oh... some people are just supposed to be alone, I guess."

Gee, thanks. - PhreedomPhighter

7. This is something she could've easily kept inside her head.

My sister looked at me and said, "you look like you're pregnant, but you're not" - LaunchesKayaks

8. Guess we know who the meanies are in this class.

Giving my 11 year old nieces advice before they start middle school, telling them how mean other tweens can be and that I’m there for them if they need support. One of them responds “you must have been a real loser in middle school”

THANKS - KenComesInABox

9. Ouch.

Halloween was comming soon, my sister was talking to one of my 5yo cousings. "Hey honey! What do you think your mommy should dress like for halloween? A princess?". The kid smiled: "She's waaay too ugly for a princess! Mommy should be a witch!"

We kept quiet for the rest of the day. Mommy never knew. - ShinitaiMeiko

10. Why does this kid know this?!

Our friend son, said "do you know that my dad can not satisfy my mother " his father wished to disappear at that moment - uzumaki_bey

11. Damn.

I was playing “the floor is lava” with my then 4yr old niece. I pretended to start drowning in lava reaching my hand out to her yelling, “Please help me”. My niece pops her head over the edge of the couch, looks straight into my eyes and whispered, “No one is going to save you.”

I drowned, “died”, and never played lava with her again. - thefreshestpeach

12. Ice cold.

was chilling at a wedding, the bridesmaids were sitting there with the 5 year old flower girl. one of the bridesmaids said she wished she would be the next to get married and the flower girl said "no becky you are too ugly to get married". i burst out laughing. - demonardvark

13. Yikes.

My 4 year old daughter told me at dinner not to long ago: You look nice! You don't look like yourself! Well thanks, I guess..... - birleo

14. This is painful.

When I was 4-5 years old I was sitting in my step mom's lap in the car (good ole 90's when car safety was less of a concern) and I was slapping her leg, uncovered because of her shorts. I said, "it ripples like a pool!"...I did not realize until I was older why she was so offended. - Stny3012

15. The kid has a point.

Last week my husband who works at a local grocery store overheard a mother pushing her two kids in a cart and complaining about how heavy they were. The older child, probably around 7 years old looks at her and says, "You're the one who decided to have two kids". Looks like someone spends a lot of time at his grandparent's house. - kickboxingastronaut

16. Painful!

My sister was a nanny to two little girls, ages 2 and 4. She brought them over to my parents' house and I was just settling in to bake in the sun in my bikini. I opened the deck door to walk outside to greet them but the door got a little jammed, so I tried to squeeze through, but those Freshman 15 were holding me back a little. Without missing a beat the 4-year-old turned to her little sister and said in a hushed tone, "You see, she can't get through because she's too fat." - TinyDancer301

17. The levels to this burn...

Nana says 'George Bush Sr. and I only have one thing in common, we both hate broccoli.' My daughter responds, ' one day soon, you will have two things in common.' - scheffj

18. That is generally how it works, TBH.

My 6 year old cousin, 4 at the time, told me "you wear pajamas in the day because you're a disaster." - _Fengo

19. Devastating.

Parent: you know you'll have to listen me for the rest of your life Child: no, I have to listen to you for the rest of YOUR life - B_Mwangi

20. Honestly, we might have to use this one.

My friend when he was about 4 was in trouble so he had to be in the kitchen with his mom where she could see him. He was bored and wanted to play but she wouldn’t let him so he looked at her and said in his sweetest voice “mom if you’re here, who’s running hell?” Still the most savage burn I’ve seen in a while. - Taggy2087

21. Oof.

I was playing a car-spotting game with my niece while I was driving her somewhere and was getting a bit bored with it, so I suddenly declared "Yay! I'm the winner!". She scoffed and in a low voice mumbled "Yeah, right. You'll NEVER be a winner." - El_Suavador

We all know by now that as a guest, you're not supposed to get engaged at a wedding. But what about discussing your recent engagement with all who will listen? According to one bride, this is also a big no-no.

A woman took to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for "announcing" her engagement at her twin sister's wedding. Her twin and their mom have both stopped talking to her, but she still doesn't think she did anything wrong.

She says the twins have always been competitive:

My twin sister and I, both 24, have always had some kind of weird rivalry. It’s never really came from my side, always hers. Our dad left our family when we were 10 and because she wasn’t that close to our mom and I was, it created the resentment she now has for me. We have ups and downs in terms of our relationship.

She specifies for some reason that she doesn't like her twin's new husband:

About a week ago, my sister got married to her boyfriend of one year. I’ve never liked their relationship, nor did I approve of them getting married so soon, but I went to the wedding.

And when she got engaged right before the wedding, her twin asked her to keep it secret:

My fiancé and I got engaged about a week beforehand, and due to her wedding she asked if I would keep it under the radar until after the wedding which I hesitantly agreed to. To me it was just a sign of insecurity. My fiancé and I have been together almost 7 years, she shacked up with the first person who showed interest.

But it didn't end up working out:

The wedding comes and it’s all fine, until the reception. It was fairly large, and a lot of people who I hadn’t seen since we graduated high school were there so I obviously took it as a chance to catch up. I’ve just got engaged, I’m not going to take my ring off to appease my sister, so naturally I got questions which I honestly responded to. I didn’t go out of my way to tell anybody we were engaged, but if someone asked I told them, which I don’t see anything wrong with. It’s unlikely I’ll see many of the attendees again so why should I have to wait.

But the twin and their mom think she shouldn't have done that:

Towards the end of the night, my mom and sister pulled me aside absolutely furious with me saying I’d made the night all about me, which I absolutely hadn’t. It was a quick congratulations with each conversation and that was it. I didn’t get on top of the stage and announce it. They’ve both cut me off for apparently being incapable of letting other people have their “time to shine” and pretty much everyone in our family and close circle of friends has told me I’m in the wrong. [Am I the a-hole]?

Although the story sounds fairly innocuous, the people of the internet think there are some details she's leaving out — and they've judged her to be the a-hole in the situation.

xreiachan speculates that the twins' "rivalry" is probably the fault of both sisters:

Everyone else has told you so, why are you expecting a different answer here? The way you wrote about the situation and the way you went about it sounds so slimey and snakey.

They continue:

If you didn't want to do it, then you should have said no when they asked you to keep it under wraps.

Definitely not a one sided rivalry, you're not as innocent as you make yourself out to be.

InsideTheBox67 is team bride, saying:

Why is it a sign of insecurity that your sis doesnt want you running around telling every one about your engagement at her own wedding?

It's her day. Let her have it

Highclassbadass says all the petty details prove she's the a-hole:

IDK how much I believe you, you go out of your way to mention how you don't care for your sister's relationship, or when they decided to get married....and all of your family AND your closest and most biased of friends all think you're the a**hole...

NoeLane997 agrees:

I agree with this. If it was just casually mentioning an engagement to someone in passing at a wedding who noticed a ring. That’s one thing. But the tone makes me think that it wasn’t as small as they say it was. They seem to be brushing off any possible action that could make them an AH

Flarb12 doubts this woman would be so chill if the situation were reversed:

She made a request a you agreed. You broke your promise and knew exactly what would happen when you wore your engagement ring.

It's pretty clear this rivalry goes both ways. Even in your post you're incredibly negative about your sister. Ofcourse it's a sign of insecurity that she asked you to keep the engagement secret. You have to agree that you did steal some of the spotlight from your sister after you agreed not to.

How would you have reacted if the situation was reversed?

Paige0098 seems to be the only one who deemed this woman "not the a-hole":

unpopularopinion NTA simply because I don’t think anyone should be forced to take off their ring for any reason. That said if it was simply only saying “ya we are thanks” after someone brings it up noticing the ring then ya NTA but anything beyond that is in a**hole territory.

Char11eg makes a great point:

I’d be really shocked if more than a couple of people even noticed the ring unless you were drawing attention to it (idk, doing that thing where people hold their hand out to look at their rings and such.) Not many people look at others’ hands in conversation, unless attention is drawn to it, and if you never saw most of those people, why on Earth would they assume you needed to announce your engagement, rather than them just... not having heard?!

And spitfoam sums it up:

From the way you talk about your sister, I highly doubt that this sibling rivalry comes from her side. You sound very entitled and self-absorbed. I feel bad for your sister.

So there you have it. Gabbing about your engagement at someone else's wedding is officially an a-hole move.

Especially if you clearly can't stand the bride.

The "sexual tension between you and-" meme is the new Twitter trend in town and it's consistently hilarious...

While 2020 has been a confusing rollercoaster of nightmares, Twitter users haven't stopped churning out a series of perfect jokes. Perhaps it's because a lot of us haven't had physical contact with another human in months aside from an awkward elbow-tap or weird foot high-five at an outdoor socially distanced event, but pent up sexual tension seems to be the theme of summer 2020. If last summer was "Hot Girl Summer," this summer is "...Is my couch flirting with me?"

Somehow these sexual tension tweets are both ridiculous and relatable, and I don't see this joke structure getting old any time soon. Here are the funniest tweets we could find from people who have a lot of sexual energy to get out and nowhere to put it other than the internet.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

Parents often dread the day their children ask where babies come from and require an honest answer, but it's critically important to provide kids with age-appropriate sex education.

So many kids enter puberty without understanding what is actually happening to their bodies, and the more informed and educated young adults are on sex, the higher the chances are that they'll make safe choices. We all know at least one person who thought they were dying when they got their first period, and one kid from high school who told everyone you can get pregnant from kissing.

Still, figuring out the right time to be completely honest with your kids about the details of "the birds and the bees" can get complicated. So, when a dad decided to consult Reddit's "Am I the As*hole?" about a concern he had for his daughter's involvement with his wife's pregnancy test, the internet was ready to offer advice.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for telling my wife that it was bad parenting for her to take a pregnancy test with our daughter in the bathroom with her?

My wife had already taken one test and gotten a faint positive. She was fairly sure she was pregnant because of that and the symptoms she'd been experiencing, so when she tested a few days later she asked our daughter if she wanted to do it with her. Our daughter did, so they took the test together. I only found out later when the test confirmed my wife was pregnant and she told me.

I let my wife know that I thought this was bad parenting. Our daughter (10) is still too young to be exposed to things like that and certainly up close. There was no reason or justification for it. I have never heard of a mother doing a pregnancy test together with her daughter, and even if it was a thing, it would still be wrong in my view. She also should have asked me first before she did something like this. I don't think this decision should have been made unilaterally. All of this makes it a really poor decision, in my opinion.

My wife doesn't agree. She felt it was a "bonding" experience and an opportunity for her and our daughter to talk more about their bodies and educate her more on pregnancy and the reproductive system.

She thinks I owe her an apology for saying she acted like a bad parent in that situation. I disagree. Not sure if either or both of us are being the as*hole.

Here's what people had to say:

You do realize your daughter could start her period any day now? Or any time in the next 2 years? And all your wife did was pee on a stick and talk about hormones and fertility cycles (I'm betting). YTA (You're the As*hole). 10 is not too young. My oldest started "sex ed" and puberty talks at 10 in school. - shreyerauthor

I'm not sure any man, even the father, should try to criticize a mother for teaching her daughter about things related to reproduction. Certainly demonstrating that Mommy can learn at home if she's pregnant or not isn't the first step in the decline and fall of the traditional family, or whatever it is you hold dear. - waterdevil19144

YTA. Children are taught the birds and the bees when they're in 4th grade, so 10. She's old enough to learn about pregnancy, and the test is just peeing on a stick, nothing scandalous or traumatizing. - ScienceNotKids

You realize she peed on a stick right? That’s it. - lilymoscovitz

YTA.

What exactly about this is wrong? Your wife peed on a stick. Your daughter pees so that's not a shocking reveal. The stick in question reveals whether or not your daughter will be a big sister soon. That's an exciting moment for your daughter! Your wife asked your daughter if she wanted to be a part of it and your daughter said yes.

10 years old is not the wrong age to learn about the reproductive system, particularly the menstrual cycle. I was 9 when my mom gave me a children's book about puberty and 11 when I started my menses. I was much more prepared for my period than my poor niece who recently got hers and had no idea what was happening. She screamed and screamed for help in the bathroom because she thought she was dying.

My brother and sil didn't think she was old enough to learn about the changes her body would go through and she was terrified by the blood. Don't be that parent. Your wife has the right idea. - widowspeak27

YTA! Your wife was teaching your child important information about pregnancy and spending time with her and most likely getting her excited for her sibling. You are bring an a*s about something that you will never have to do,+ where do you think a young child goes when their mom goes to the bathroom with them? Oh yeah they go into the same stall.

Yes you do have a say in how you raise your child but your wife made this amazing thing into a learning experience which is great parenting - cheesie_pleasie

So, there you have it!

Everyone unanimously agreed that this dad is 100% in the wrong for judging his wife's choice to include her daughter in the pregnancy test process, and that he probably has a vast misunderstanding of what a pregnancy test actually entails. Does he understand that all it takes is peeing on a stick? Good luck, everyone!

Everyone's a critic.

When deciding whether or not to watch a movie, an even more important resource than Rotten Tomatoes are the comments on Amazon.com. Customers on Amazon cut to the chase and do not hold back on whether or not a rental is worth $3.99, and will warn you if the movie's title is NOT to be taken literally.

The Twitter account Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) collects the funniest nuggets of criticism from shoppers so you don't spend all of The Silence of The Lambs waiting to see the lambs.

1. The Wolf of Wall Street

2. Magic Mike XXL

3. The Shining

4. Inside Man

5. Trolls World Tour

6. Parasite

7. The Emoji Movie

8. Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope.

9. Cats

10. Once Upon A Time... In Hollywood.

11. Little Women (1994)

12. Elf

13. The Wizard of Oz

14. Goodfellas

15. There Will Be Blood

16. Toy Story

17. The Silence of the Lambs

18. Monsters, Inc.

19. Bumblebee

20. Mars Arracks!

21. Straight Outta Compton

22. Home Alone 2

23. Venom

24. Spider-Man: Homecoming

25. Django Unchained

Some text exchanges go from 0-100 in a matter of seconds, and it's often for the worst.

People are often emboldened over text in ways they aren't IRL, and it can make for some unexpected brutal honesty. While one person is trying to get their flirt on or make plans, the other might come barreling in with their repressed anger and disgust.

Needless to say, some text conversations are so painful they deserve to be framed as works of art, here are just a few examples.

1. This wrong number.

2. This horrible attempt at flirting.

3. This awkward psychiatrist text.

4. This back-handed compliment.

5. This painful rejection.

6. The ex that doesn't wanna stay in touch.

7. This depressing admission.

8. This NSFW wrong number text.

9. This morbid introduction.

10. This deeply painful exchange.

11. This self-own.

12. This revelation of bad standards.

13. This lonely text in the group thread.

14. This major ouch.

15. This incredible expression of hanger.

16. This desperate plea.

17. This knife to the heart.

18. This glorious take down.

19. This major shut down.

20. This exchange of pick-up lines.

21. This surprise.

22. This uncalled for photo.

23. This deep cut to the self-esteem.

24. This unbearably rude rejection.

Honesty is always the best policy. Except when it comes to your partner's parents. Then, the best policy is usually keeping your mouth shut. Most people work hard to impress their in-laws or future in-laws by being as polite and discrete as possible. But some brave, rebellious souls don't play by these rules.

Someone asked Reddit: "what's the ballsiest thing your significant other has said to your parents?" These 23 people share stories of the times their partners got a little too honest with the in-laws and sh*t got awkward:

1.) From Cum___Dumpster:

Second time my boyfriend was meeting my parents, Dad kept saying he could've sworn when I was a baby I had a birth mark on my ass. I was arguing that I didn't, my boyfriend chimed in to confirm.

2.) From onelasttimeoh:

This is something my dad said to his mother-in-law (my grandmother) before my parents got married in 1969.

Grandma: Just so you know, there has never been any divorce in our family, we don't take marriage lightly.

Dad: Don't worry. If I ever get sick of her, I'll just shoot her.

Typing it out, it looks a little disturbing. Given that my dad was such a non-violent, meek guy all three found it hilarious. Different times?

3.) From jps_:

Many years ago... a girl friend of mine was lighting my dad's cigarette with a match. He accidentally blew it out.

She said, without missing a beat "Suck dammit, blow's only a figure of speech".

My dad turned blue. I turned red. My mom turned white.

4.) From [deleted]:

My girlfriend and I were on a ski trip with my parents, and this was the first time she would be spending an extended amount of time with them. In the morning while getting ready, my dad walks out in his long johns and underarmor top, and overall tight-fitting outfit.

My girlfriend wasn't really expecting this, and my dad caught her looking his way. And my dad, as always one to put someone on the spot (in a fun way), says "whatchya looking at?"

Without a moment's hesitation, my girlfriend goes: "Just checking out the older model."

Needless to say she was instantly accepted into the family.

5.) From shaftautopump:

I'm the s/o in this case - first time I met my future father in law, he took us to a NFL game in New York (could be just outside, I'm aussie - so don't remember exactly where it was). There was a brawl in the stadium which had people tumbling down the seats and state troopers coming in. Everyone was shouting "get fatty" as the main instigator was a fat, bald guy. I told my father in law to hide before the cops grabbed him.

6.) From Monkespank:

Where I live there is a restaurant named Dick Russells. My partner asked me stop by and pick something up on the way home. Sends a text to my mom saying "I can't wait for your son to get home so I can have some dick."

7.) From Mimsy34:

I lived with my parents when my husband and I were dating. He would come over, and either he would sit on the bed and me sometimes at my place, or vice versa.

My mom would come into the room and ask what we were doing. We would always say, "making out." To which her reply was always, " I may be old but I remember making out, and this isn't it."

Fast forward to wedding a year later, and we had to go back by my parents house the next day. We walk in, and my husband puts his arm around my mom, and says, "you know, there WAS a whole lot more to that making out." I was absolutely mortified.

8.) From jergonza13:

I was the SO. In college I was dating a girl for a while, and over the summer she was briefly living at home in the suburbs outside the city I was interning in. One night I was hanging out with her and her family at their place and had a few glasses of wine, so we figured I'd spend the night there rather than figure out a way to get me home and then deal with my car. Her parents said they'd go make sure the guest room was ready. I said "nah it's fine I'll just sleep in her room". That left them speechless, but they didn't say no...

9.) From Zznot:

On our wedding night my husband told my mother to "get the baby clothes ready because he was blowing it inside."

10.) From Back2Bach:

My S/O looked at the crucifix (with the crown of thorns and blood) my parents have hanging on the wall over their bed's headboard, and said, "Doesn't that make you feel inhibited?"

11.) From 5meterhammer:

Ex gf from high school/college told my dad, once his alcoholism had taken him over that "whether it's me or some other girl he has children with One day, you don't deserve to ever even see them". Completely out of her character.

12.) From odnadevotchka:

My husband told my parents we weren't coming back to the house as long as my sister was living there. It was the bravest thing anyone has ever done for me, and I know what it cost him to hurt them that way, but it benefitted me and so he did it. Side note, sister is a drunk, abusive person and my husband is the first person to stand up for me and worry about my mental and emotional health. I love him so deeply

13.) From The_Thresh_Prince:

My uptight mother was criticizing my long time SO for smoking weed too often at a family dinner.

She looked up at her in front of my entire family and said: "You are the first person I have ever met that I truly believe needs to smoke some weed"

After several seconds of intense eye contact, me just sitting there mouthbreathing and thinking all is lost, my father lost his shit laughing, and everyone else burst into laughter (including mom)

14.) From Oneiric86:

The first time I brought my wife home, it was on a weekend my father was supposed to be away for some camping. Well, he gets home early because of bad weather, so I'm now in the obligation of presenting him this girl that's in my room downstairs. Eventually, we get out of my bedroom as my father is starting to prepare dinner. As he sees her, he asks: "Wow, I wonder what a wonderful woman like you eats to stay this beautiful!"

Her answer? "Well, this morning? Your son."

Yup. What a way to make a good first impression. Good thing is that it's exactly my dad's type of humor, otherwise, it could have gone bad.

15.) From DesigningKnight:

Just after graduating high school, 18 years old, I was dating a girl who was on the autism spectrum, but at the time we didn't know that. Turns out she has Asperger syndrome.

Anyway, we're sitting on the couch with Mom and Dad, watching TV. Now, to be fair, they knew we were having sex regularly, and told us to do it at home, because they found out we had gone to the creek a few times and almost got caught. They just wanted us to be safe.

So, while we're watching TV, my gf and I are kind of playing with each other, just some touching discreetly, when my gf turns to my mom and says "I'm gonna take your son into the bedroom and screw his brains out for awhile." Jaw...drop...from...everyone. Including me.

Yes, we went to the bedroom.

16.) From thebachmann:

My mom was trying to recover after telling a really long winded joke that just didn't land, and after a couple excruciatingly cringe-filled seconds of no one laughing, my boyfriend said "oh, I didn't get it because it wasn't funny..." With a kind of playful smirk on his face. Maybe the hardest I've ever laughed.

17.) From ssands-of-time:

My dad was talking to me and my boyfriend about safe sex when my boyfriend whipped out the condoms he had in his bag and said "Don't worry, I'm already prepared"

18.) From FinalFlashBigBang:

To my mother..

"Your horrible marriages are the reason why your son will never ask me to marry him"

To be fair she had a plethora of bad marriages.

19.) From brickout:

I dated a girl years ago who told my mother, on Christmas Eve, that I thought I was impotent. The truth is, I was wondering if I was infertile, as I had been exposed to a lot of xrays in my fun zone as a child. She mixed up the words. So, this lead to me going to my mother's bedroom, on Christmas Eve, in my undies, to knock on her door to tell her that I am not impotent.

20.) From PMYourBeard:

Was having dinner with my mom and my brand new boyfriend at the time when he started hugging me at the table (the kind of hug a child gives to a pet rabbit where you just feel bad for the creature receiving the love).

I say, "Don't. Stop." He responds, "Don't stop? Okay" I grumbled and said, "No, there's a period in there." Without missing a beat he said, "Girl you know a period never stopped me." In front of my mom.

My mom laughed, it was pretty clever. That happened about 3+ years ago and we are engaged now, my parents adore him.

21.) From megaawkward3:

I have a pretty conservative, Baptist family, and I’m gay.

Brought my boyfriend over to meet my dad and he told him, “I know your son inside and out.”

He didn’t know this guy was my boyfriend. I’ve never been more terrified in my life.

22.) From SmellyWookie92:

My dad's a cop. One night my wife looks at him and said "can (my name) borrow your uniform and f*ck me in it?"

I was caught really off guard but found it pretty funny. We still laugh about it.

23.) From billbapapa:

I had a girlfriend for a very short time, around the age of 18.

She called my dad a drunk, to his face, within 5 minutes of meeting him. While it is true he drank a lot it was really rude and disrespectful.

He responded by saying, "bill you can do better than this one, I don't care how nice her tits are"

Inviting people who you are not already incredibly close with to stay in your home can sometimes be a risk...

The way that some people behave in another person's house can be truly alarming, and the "what's mine is yours" expression can really be taken to the next level. Messy guests who leave a trail of clutter everywhere they go, people who severely overstay their welcome, or any time someone doesn't respect another person's space and house rules can always be a bit of a disaster. Remember to take your shoes off before you lounge on someone else's furniture, get all your hair out of the shower drain, and put some clothes on before you come down for breakfast.

So, when a Reddit user asked, "Who was the worst guest that stayed at your house?" people were ready to share stories of the people who they deeply regret inviting into their homes.

1.

A woman named Misty. My roommate met her at a party and invited her back. She stayed the night, yeah whatever.

But then didn't leave the next day. She just hung out. Even asked if we were going to buy more soda.

She stayed the night again. On the couch. Two days later we drove her to a family member just to get rid of her. - Aerron

2.

My partner at the time's brother spent the whole week trying to walk in on me changing/in the shower - Emily_Starke

3.

My sister in law a couple months before my wedding. She was controlling everything, from the food we eat to the way I should place things in my wallet. I freaked my sh*t when she started making a list of my family members and who should be invited or not. Added detail, her other sister, a week before our wedding told me all men cheat. - lou100

4.

My wife's friends had stayed over after a party because they lived pretty far away. I was in the kitchen making coffee in the morning and the friends wife came up the basement stairs into the kitchen wearing nothing but her underwear. She didn't say anything to me she just shuffled past and went back into the spare bedroom. I was curious what she was doing down there so I went and I checked. It turns out in her drunken state she couldn't find either one of the bathrooms upstairs on the main level so she went into the basement and sh*t beneath the stairs all over the floor. When her husband came out of the bedroom I told him that he had a mess to clean up and directed him to the basement so he could find his wife's surprise. That's when he decided to use our clean bath towels to smear her sh*t all over my basement floor, then he just tossed the towels into the laundry tub. I never spoke to either one of them again. One good thing did come out of it though. We now get to say "sh*t the basement drunk" as the top of the drunkenness meter. - [deleted]

5.

An ex-friend. I smelled something horrible when I was cleaning the guest bathroom after she left. It was like a mix of fish and rotten eggs. It was so strong it made me gag.

And then I found the source: it was her used panties. - McUglee

6.

My sisters boyfriend. I have never actually hated anyone until I was forced to live with this guy for two weeks. He was an ungrateful prick and extremely disrespectful to my parents and sister. I'll refer to him as M. M was staying at my parents house because my sister inadvertently got him kicked out of his aunts house. She felt bad so she asked my parents to let him stay for some time until they could find other living arrangements. He brought over all his stuff and made himself right at home quickly. He set up his xbox in the living room and played destiny all day because he didn't have a job. He's 27. He would constantly complain about the internet being laggy and would tell anyone who was listening that our internet is sh*tty. He would constantly (at least 3- 4 times) take an entire loaf of pepperoni bread, fill it with cheese, bake it, eat some and then throw it away. He literally screamed at my mother that she was disrespecting him when she called his music screamo and had a hissy fit. He and my sister shared a room right next to mine, and at night I could hear him singing to her. Not so bad except he proclaimed that he was incredibly talented and never missed a chance to mention it. The best part about his stay though was when he told me that aliens were on earth, helped build the pyramids, and altered our DNA so that we evolved faster. He would also constantly tell my sister what to do and was very controlling.

My sister now lives with him in an apartment. He recently crashed her car and fled the scene. I hate him. - [deleted]

7.

My sister. Her 10 year old went through all our DVDs and stuffed about 6 under his coat as they left . One fell out and we discovered the rest. My sisters reaction? "Boys will be boys." Are you kidding me. - annoyingone

8.

My sister.

My wife and I let her stay with us after my folks finally kicked her out (the first time). She had to be about 18-19 at the time.

She was to watch our toddler son for us while we were at work. When we got home, we often had to clean up the kitchen and most of the house because she was a slob who couldn't be bothered to clean up either her messes or the boy's.

It came to a head one day when my wife discovered among all the left-out food and dishes that my sister had browned some ground beef in her brand new wok using a fork. The wok was scarred and scratched beyond belief. My wife freaked for a second and asked her why she did that.

A couple minutes later, sister walked up to me in a huff and yelled, "You better talk to that b*tch-a*s wife of yours..." She went on for several minutes, calling my wife all kinds of names and threatening what she would do if "that f*cking b*tch" says anything else to her.

She had the nerve to look surprised when I calmly told her to get her stuff because she wasn't spending that night at our house. "You're gonna kick me out because of that bitch?!?"

"Yep." We were tired of walking on eggshells around her combustible a*s anyway. - DeaconPlayback

9.

Haha, me.

I was 18, had the most drunken night of my life 1.5 litres of vodka plus other substances, slept on my best mates floor. In the morning I got up and needed to be sick right away. Barged into the bathroom and threw up my entire body weight in the toilet. Not so bad....

Turn around to see his mum in the bath with candles having a nice morning relax. I was horrified. She was more horrified. My mate was on the floor in tears laughing.

Had a great relationship with them both so was allowed back after profuse apologies. Quit drinking though. - [deleted]

10.

We had one of my dads friends visit a long time ago, and he really hated cats. So much so to the point where he would kick our own cat under the table. Literally he had been in our house for 5 minutes and he kicked our cat in the hallway. F*cking bastard. So our cat peed in his shoes and sh*t in his suitcase the day he was leaving. RIP Manila - [deleted]

11.

Let a friend of mine crash on my couch for a few days until he got drunk one night after I was in bed and decided to boil some eggs. Once happily boiling he passed out. Eventually all the water in the pan boiled off and the eggs fused themselves to the pan. Shortly after that the pan itself began to melt onto the burner.

I woke up to the smoke detector going off and a cloud of noxious black smoke throughout my apartment. The smell of it lasted for several months despite my best efforts to fumigate. Good times. - ArturosDad

12.

On our first anniversary, my girlfriend and I decided to go out of town for the weekend. We needed someone to look after our cat, and the only guy available was my friend Andrew. In hindsight it was a total mistake asking him to do it, because he was a complete slob, but he was our only option and we figured he'd have enough decency not to fuck up our place. We were wrong.

The first thing we noticed when we got home was that almost all of our dishes were dirty and stacked in a big pile in the sink. In the fridge we discovered a half eaten apple pie from Pizza Hut covered in chicken bones. Investigating further, I found that he had broken some of my shit, supposedly by accident. But the real surprise was when we went into the basement to do laundry. He had built a big fort out of cardboard boxes, with some rotting pizza left inside. I later discovered that he had been using my video camera, and recorded himself "living" in the box fort, eaten chicken wings, and wearing my clothes while a friend of his danced around totally naked in the background. - [deleted]

13.

I was 18, living in my dad's house after he got married and moved in with his new wife. I invited a local friend to stay with me for a week, just to get out of her hosue. She invited another friend. No problem so far. However, I had leftover pizza in the fridge and came home one night after work looking forward to eating it.

I opened the pizza box and not only was it gone, there was a used maxi pad in the box. - no_talent_a*s_clown

14.

one time my mom's friend traced the outline of her phone on one of our our desks with permanent marker. She was in her 40s - laststandman

15.

Buddy used to pee out a second story window to avoid going to the downstairs bathroom. One time he did and the sunroof on my mother's Lexus was open below... - TooShiftyForYou

16.

Everyone appreciates a friendly and upbeat customer service person. But sometimes being "friendly" can cross the line into straight flirting. And most people would prefer not to have to ward off the advances of someone they turned to for technical help.

A woman who goes by Roxana on Twitter recently shared screenshots of her conversation with an Amazon customer service representative who got a little overly friendly in the chat.

Some people (mostly men) argued that he was "just being nice." But many others, mostly women, think the exchange was inappropriate and even a firable offense.

Either way, this kind of exchange with customer service people is apparently not uncommon.

These 8 people also shared screenshots of the times they were on the receiving end of a "flirtatious" or overly friendly customer service person:

1.)

2.)

3.)

4.)

5.)

6.)

7.)

8.)

There are moments when you do something so stupid, thoughtless, and destructive, you can only shrug in terror and ask yourself "what have I done?!"

In some cases, a night of drinking or partying can lead to a decision that is face-palm inducing, but other times it's our clear sober brains that lead us down the path of silly regrets.

In a popular Reddit thread, the OP shared their most memorable "what have I done" story, and asked others to do the same.

1. From OP:

I once took 3 Viagra and 2 Ritalin at the same time when drunk.

It was a "spring break" cruise to Mexico. But even though it was spring break, the cruise was filled with senior citizens and families (this will be relevant later). We went ashore and drank all day, taking shots, talking with senoritas, and generally acting like idiots. On our way back to the ship my buddy and I saw a "farmacia" and decided go inside. Being drunk and a little horny, I decided to buy 3 viagra and 2 ritalin and wash it down with some beer. I honestly thought nothing of it. No one told me it was a bad idea. About 20 minutes later the realization of what I had done suddenly hit me like a sack of bricks: Oh shit. Oh holy f*cking sh*t, I thought. My dick. My dick's is going to f*cking explode.

Fast forward two hours. I was too stupid to try to make myself throw up. We are on the ship now. I'm walking around feeling kind of out of it. For some reason, everyone is giving me dirty looks. Parents are covering their kids eyes. Senior citizens are pointing at me. WTF? My dick, I realize. It's as erect as the ship's mast. I'm a sailor at full salute. I'm captain of the U.S.S. Richard Engorged. Swim trunks were a BAD IDEA. Then I start to hallucinate. I guess it was the ritalin. Who knew that shit can make you see things? I keep asking my friends "Do you like my ski boots?" and "Why does my dick feel like an explosion?" One of my friends decides to take me to the ship's mini hospital.

The girl at the front desk immediately recognizes me and says, "Ugh, you again?" Apparently I had been there the night before annoying them for an entire box of scented condoms (which they didn't have, and let's be honest, I didn't need--not even one). Whatever. I tell them "I've taken 3 viagra, 2 ritalin, around 12 drinks, and my dick feels like an explosion. How much money is it gonna cost for you to tell me I'm gonna live?" She tries to be professional. She looks down at my dick. She giggles. Maybe she doesn't like my ski boots, I think.

The nurses start to giggle. They wake up the doctor (because this is late at night) and I can hear him laugh his fucking head off through the phone. She says it'll be $150 dollars for a heart monitor (EKG or whatever). F*cking worth it. This tiny Asian woman who barely speaks English lays me down to do a heart monitor, but I have soo much chest hair that he has to shave me in 6 spots to put the electrodes on me.

She says I'm going to live. Try not to get aroused by anything, or you could hurt your penis, she says.

My dick is going up and down like the stock market. I leave the hospital and go back to the room. I lock myself in the bathroom and try to rub one out to relieve the pressure. It hurts terribly to masturbate. I lay down in the shower and try to think of grandma so I don't get any more aroused.

I lay naked under some bed sheets as my friends remind me that I'm the stupidest person ever.

WORST SKI TRIP EVER.

2. From Sorrysprinkles:

I gave my brother's guinea pig a Viking funeral. In retrospect, it should not have been in a public park and fueled by gasoline.

3. From MCozens:

Not me but a friend. Got a text from him one morning when he had just gotten to the gym. Sitting down by the weights: "Took e [ecstasy] instead of a vitamin. I'm rolling balls, and it's 9am."

4. From Cilph:

In an attempt to make 'iced coffee' I mixed fifteen sachets of instant espresso with 2L of milk. I could barely taste the coffee so I gave up. For some stupid reason, I drank the entire carton of milk and now had the caffeine of fifteen cups of espresso in my system. The next twelve hours were horrible.

5. From bigpuffy:

I ate a pot brownie, nothing happened after 30 minutes, so I ATE ANOTHER ONE.

6. From THE_HUMAN_TREE:

So first some background. My 7th grade English teacher was this really awesome and laid back guy, who pretty much lets us do what we want. So I often played games with my friends while also doing research and whatnot. One day he had a sub who wasn't really paying attention, so what the hell, me and my friends decide to play truth or dare. It goes well at first and we have some good laughs, but then it happened.

One of my friends dares me to pick a random girl in the class, pull her hair, and yell 'is that a wig?!' so I do. I find some random chick, proceed to yank off her wig, and proclaim for the whole class to hear 'IS THAT A WIG?!' Holy sh*t I've made a huge mistake. She actually has a wig. I slowly walk back to my seat and sit down. The girl runs from the classroom crying room. That was not a fun day. tl;dr Played truth or dare, ended up yanking off some chicks wig.

7. From lighthaze:

Dropping an Uncle Bens bag of rice in a pot of boiling water.

While it was falling I thought: "Well, that's pretty stupid. It's gonna splash. TAKE COVER!"

Luckily, I wasn't hit.

8. From lacinyc:

This is basically just a re-cap of a night I had under the influence of methamphetamine. The story isn't particularly well written and the tense seems to change pretty dramatically mid way through - both because I'm just not a very good writer, and because I was probably still high when I wrote this. What it is though, is a testimony to the crazy sh*t drugs can do to you. I wasn't even fully aware you could have a trip like this by taking a drug that's solely a stimulant. I ignorantly assumed that 'bad trips' were reserved for hallucinogenics like acid or mushrooms.

Meth is an uncommon drug here - dexamphetamine generally being the common British stimulant of choice - which is why I thought I may as well give it a try given that I had the chance. In hindsight, not the greatest decision I've ever made, and the experience is one that I expect to live with me (or haunt me) for the rest of my days.

So, basically, I went clubbing on Monday night. Nothing out of the ordinary, just had a few drinks in my friend's house then moved on to a nearby club. Wasn't planning on getting properly f*cked up, just wanted to go clubbing and blow off some steam. At some point when we were in the club though, one of us decided that we wanted some E. I phoned a friend, and it was on its way within about 10-15 minutes.

When my dealer met us, he came with the ecstasy plus a sh*tload of other powders - one of them being the meth. It was cheap, we hadn't tried it, it was pretty rare and it was meant to be top stuff, so we thought 'fuck it' and bought a fair whack. It was almost closing time at the club, so we decided to just continue the party back at the flat. We got back and immediately dug in. It was in powder form, and not crystal like is common, so I just wrapped some in a cigarette paper and bombed it.

After 20-30 minutes, it hit me. I had felt nothing quite like this before; no drug was this good. Nothing could get me down at that time - was pure euphoria. We sat up drinking, talking and taking more and more meth. No-one wanted it to end. Before I knew it, it was 7pm - 24 hours after we had begun our night. Everything had seemed fine, but then something inside me changed.

My friend (who, let's just say is involved with a fair amount of undesirables), made a comment about something relating to me, and it sparked a massive surge of paranoia inside of me. In my mind, everything she said after this had an underlying meaning, and it all related to the conspiracy to have me killed. She tried to give me a glass of water, but I couldn't and wouldn't drink it - it was full of poison. She offered me a sleeping tablet...but what was going to happen to me if I fell asleep? If I stayed in the flat any longer, I was going to die...I was sure of it.

I let her know that I had to go downstairs, right now. My shoes were through in the main room, and I couldn't risk going through there. I frantically tried to unlock the door but the key wouldn't turn. I thought I was trapped and begged for her to let me out. She did that, and I immediately ran down the stairs and into the fresh air. She came down with me to talk to me about wtf was going on. I couldn't talk though. 2 people were coming from the car park - coming for me. She said they were her neighbors, but I knew they were in on it. I darted back into the building, and used the other exit. I then ran as fast as I could to get away from these people. My shoes were surplus to requirements. Losing them was a small price to pay in exchange for my life. So in my socks I ran, and ran, and ran.

Eventually, I ended up in the center of town, still absolutely petrified. Things took a further turn for the worse when I realized I was being followed. Every car I could see, every person I could see, they were all a part of it. How did she get all these people to play a part in this? I went into the nearest bar for help, and pleaded to the barman to use the phone. Eyes from around the bar pierced the back of my head. I knew that they knew who I was, I had to get out. So again, I ran, and again, I went into another bar and begged for help. Was no use though as no-one would let me use their phone. I was f*cked.

I walked out onto the main street and sat on a corner. People walked past me and I urged them to take me away - I wasn't going to run or fight anymore. I didn't know what they were waiting for? Why weren't they doing anything to me? Nobody would acknowledge me though - they were just trying to keep up the act, and be inconspicuous. I got into a taxi and told the driver that I'd given up. Told him to take me wherever I needed to go, and I wouldn't go with a fight. He wouldn't have it. I got back out and sat down, confused.

I then smelled something strange when the taxi departed. At that moment I realized what was happening. Every car that went past was poisoning me with their exhausts. I was on the verge of collapse - I had to stop inhaling the fumes. I got up and began to walk again, with my t-shirt placed over my mouth. Cars drove slowly beside me, then accelerated so that I bore the full brunt of the poisonous substances they were excreting. It wouldn't go through the t-shirt though. More gas was being sprayed at me from the trees on either side of the road too. I felt smarter than ever - knowing the intricacies of their plan, and beating it. I noticed the ground shimmering in the light - crystals glistening at me. Were they putting poison on the ground now? I wished I had my shoes on...

As I proceeded along the path carefully, it popped into my head that I had no idea where the f*ck I was. I assumed that it wasn't even a real place. No, this place was an invention of the people that were conspiring against me - all part of this huge plan. I kept walking despite my reservations. At the end of the road I was met by a police car. They stopped me, and began to question me. "What's your name?", "What's your address?", "Have you taken any drugs?". I didn't need to reply though, they already knew the answer to every question they asked - they were in on it. I gave them my ID, they could have it, I didn't care.

They gave me it back and I immediately threw it away. I couldn't run the risk of them putting poison on it. A police van came. They said they were taking me to the Royal Infirmary Hospital for an evaluation, I didn't believe them. I was put in the back of the van, and I sat in the enclosed space waiting for the gas to start seeping in - it didn't come. When I got to the hospital, the police officer got my mum on the phone while we waited. I spoke for a couple of minutes before bursting into laughter, handing the phone to the officer, and commending the 'police' for getting such a good actress to play my mum. I chatted nonsense to them while I waited.

The next imposter arrived. The 'psychologist' took me through to a room and asked me a bunch of questions. I answered them all honestly, and he told me I was free to go as it was obviously just drug-related psychosis/paranoia, and not another mental issue. I told him that I knew what the real plan was here, and I knew what was going to happen when I left with the 2 men...

To my confusion and surprise, the police took me home. The officers walked me to my door then explained in brief to my mum what had happened. I laughed hysterically while they did so. After they left, I went and sat on the sofa in my lounge for 4 hours. Here, I just sat and gazed into a mirror for about half an hour. People were appearing behind me in the mirror, and various objects were morphing into people I know (only a couple of days ago did I realize that there isn't even a mirror in my living room - I had hallucinated that too). I then listened to people slipping in and out of my windows, setting up gas dispensers in my house. I didn't care, I was too tired to care any more.

That's about it really. I woke up the day after and still felt loopy. Even now I feel fucked in the head, and like I'm never going to be right again. I can't believe the above story actually happened to me. Never realized I had it in me, and it's frightening to think how close I am to being psychotic.

9. From ozzindale:

I got blasted with some mates, got hungry, microwaved some uncooked chicken kebabs for like 30 seconds, still raw but so drunk I chowed them down anyhow. Woke up the next morning with an 'I shouldn't be alive' moment.

10. From Mrs_Howell:

This is something my husband did. We had a houseful of babies over with visiting families. The house was literally crawling with them! There was one sitting on the kitchen floor and my hub was exiting the kitchen by stepping over a baby gate (we had those babies on 24/7 lockdown!). He stepped over the gate with his lanky left leg and as he was bringing his right leg over he clocked that baby right under his poor unsuspecting chin. Poor little guy went over flat on his back stunned. The baby was shocked too. Haha. See what I did there.

TL;DL: husband accidentally kicked a baby in the chops. Not our baby so it's all good.

11. From Apostolate:

This May I had finals. These are the kind of classes where you get one test.

Everyone takes the test on their computer with special software that locks out everything except the software etc. Everyone needs a laptop essentially.

The night before my last final, I'm running a bunch of programs and skype and somethings while I study and chat, so it is overheating.

I decide to use this supposedly great cooling fan to cool down my computer. The important thing is it plugs in by USB, and it is angled, and all the "pads" on the cooling fan are missing

The next important fact is that my internet was running sh*tty (the wifi) so I plugged in my ethernet cable, and it ran between my legs.

I had to grab my cell phone which was behind me on my bed, so I pushed off (rolling chair).

As I flew backward, my foot pulls the ethernet cable, my laptop smacks into the ground in slow motion. I stop paralyzed everything s super slow.

The USB cable pulls the fucking cooling fan pad, over the edge of the desk and BAM center of the screen of the laptop.

Shattered. I had a final the next day, it was 10 pm, and I had no computer.

Luckily my roommate had a carbon copy of my laptop, and I borrowed his (no overlapping finals was SUPER LUCKY).

But, for about an hour, I thought I was going to have to write the final by hand, which is f*cking suicide given the amount of time we had and my hanwriting.

It's still broken, I just use an LCD monitor.

PROOF

It looks even worse than I remembered : (

12. From Tempest753:

I've done so much stupid sh*t I can't remember even half of it all, but I'll give you two from recent memory.

Actually only a few days ago I was running on a treadmill. I decided as I was finishing up that I would end the run with a little sprinting and then jump off when I was done. I cranked the treadmill up to 10 mph and ran for a few tenths of a mile, then jumped to put my feet on the sides. Well, I pretty much fell right on my stomach. In an attempt to keep the tread away from my face I hold on to the bars only to get my stomach all f*cked up. Felt like such a dumba*s both for sprinting on a treadmill and trying to jump off when there were like 3 better options right in front of me.

A few months ago I'd been having some issues with blue screen errors and random graphics card errors so I decided to do some tech work on it. I tried reinstalling the graphics card drivers to no avail and found the control panel application for my graphics card had been uninstalled and I never reinstalled it, all the while I have little idea what I'm doing. Cut forward about 3 or 4 technical errors and I'm trying to reinstall my .NET framework. Not sure what it was I screwed up but next thing I know my computer is completely and utterly screwed over. At this point, I'm sweating bullets. Thankfully my roommate made me aware of System Restore and I patched my computer up.

13. From itsactuallyapenis:

So about 2 years ago I went to an EDM concert with a buddy and we were planning on taking Molly so we had a baggy with .5 grams in it and this was really good Molly I mean 81% pure and shipped in from Amsterdam. Well at the time said buddy was planning on trying out a new drug called MXE.

The 2 drugs look very similar-both a yellowish-brown powdered crystal -but MXE is a very strong dissociative while Molly(ecstasy) is an upper.

I picked up my friend and we did a few lines of what we thought was Molly and some adderall and headed to the venue. We get there and my buddy has us on the VIP list so we get in for free and I head to the bathroom to take a quick piss before meeting up with some friends. Coming out of the bathroom I run into this gorgeous girl who goes to my college and I've known for a while, we start talking and she asks me if I want to dance, at this point I'm starting to 'feel it' so I'm absolutely ecstatic that I'm going to get to dance with amazing girl.

We find a spot and start dancing as the main DJ starts his set. About 10 minutes into the set I'm starting to feel really weird- my balance is off, I'm hallucinating mildly and I don't feel like I'm rolling anymore- so I ask this girl to go get us drinks so I can try and pull my shit together while she's gone. Well, she leaves and I'm trying to snap out of the drug-induced haze I'm in; it seems like 30 seconds had passed and she's back with the drinks already! F*ck...

We keep dancing and I'm not really drinking my drink since I felt so f*cked up. Eventually, I feel so hopelessly high that I tell her I have to sit down, she offers to come with so I say sure and grab her by the hand and we start walking to a seating area. The rest of the night is a blur but I managed to make it to the seating area but somewhere along the way I lost my girl.

So at this point in the story I want to explain a few things:

1- I have no idea where the friend I came with is.

2- I realize my friend switched the bags accidentally (this is the oh f*ck, what have I done moment).

3- MXE is an analog of ketamine, which means it is a very strong dissociative; I was planning on taking .25 grams of Molly but wound up taking .25 grams of mxe instead which is a strong dose for a first time user.

Imagine an mxe trip like an airplane trip: you start to feel mild effects(colors are brighter, slight loss of balance and you begin to feel a mild euphoria mixed with a minimal loss of motorskills) for about 30 minutes(taxi-ing), then it starts to really hit you(takeoff), this lasts about 5-10 minutes (hallucinations are more vivid and you start to feel disconnected from your body and it's hard to walk correctly (my friend calls it the reptar walk and compares it to when the Rugrats were controlling the reptar robot in the movie)) finally your full out tripping (the captain would announce we have reached our cruising altitude of 30,000 feet and we will start serving drinks momentarily. Our in-flight feature will be The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnasus)

I wound up spending the entire concert -about 2 hours, mxe is fairly short-lived- losing my mind in the seating area. It was one of the most beautifully horrifying experiences of my life. Imagine the gates of heaven in all their glory opening, beckoning you forward only to be engulfed in hellfire when you approach them. From this you have been taught the meaning of existence, the meaning of love, the depth of hate, the beauty of destruction, the reason you are; only for it to be forgotten moments later because the next hallucination of the world being devoured by an unknown entity of infinite evil has made you realize the absolute inevitable truth that is the end of existence, your existence.

These were the things I saw when I closed my eyes, and no matter how eloquently I attempt to describe what I experienced my words do no come close to the level of reality, horror and sheer beauty that my trip reached.

On top of that, any time I tried to stand up to try and find anyone I knew I found my legs refused to work. Eventually, the effects wore off during the final song so I got up and tried to salvage the night, I found the girl I had lost and explained what happened and she was extremely cool an understanding and actually gave me her number. I found my friend afterward and we called it a night and went home.

Sorry, this is so damn long, and sorry if there are any grammar mistakes I wrote this on my phone.

TL;DR: Switched up the bags.

14. From paper365:

Late night finishing up a report at the library with a teammate. The dude is a perfectionist and wants to reformat everything I did. I had already spent the past 6+ hrs on it, and hours on it before that, so I was obviously pissed. So we agreed that he can fix whatever the heck he wants, I'm done with my share. I then had to do HW for another class, shit gets more frustrating (not being able to get the correct answers etc).

I felt kinda bad cuz he's reformatting it by himself even though he chooses to do it his own way, and so I check in on him from time to time, only to get even more stressed. The report is due next morning at 8AM, so we decided to turn it in before we head home. We packed our things and head out to the building where HW dropbox is at to end this stressful day. This was on a snowy day in March, and the ice was just good enough for packing for making a snowman. Apparently right outside of the library, there was a snowman about 5 ft tall. It didn't have a whole lot of decorations.

So I jokingly said to my friend, "holy sh*t, snowman. it's a f*cking snowman." I looked around, there's no one near it at all. "I'm going knock its head off." I gave the head a gently push, and it crashed to the ground. The moment I did that, I felt so bad. It was a judgmental lapse. God, someone spent a few hrs making this thing. Few minutes later, as we're about to enter the building, where the half snowman is still within sight, a good 150 ft away, someone started to yell, and starting "HEY, WHY THE HELL DID THE SNOWMAN DID TO YOU?" We're scared sh*tless and ran.

TL;DR: I'm a douchebag and I punched a snowman on purpose to relieve stress.

They say the "customer is always right"... but we draw the line at when customers directly fart into employees' faces or expose body parts that should remained covered at the supermarket.

People who have worked retail shared stories of the weirdest things they witnessed customers doing in their shops, many of them featuring next-level Karens going beyond asking to speak to the manager.

Beware of poop, farts, and male genitalia.

1. Got milk?

So, while I was working at a portrait studio inside a mall I had a mother and daughter come in for a first communion photo shoot. Out on the floor there are huge TVs on the wall so the customers can view and choose the photos they like and tables for other families to sit at while waiting for their own photos to be taken. After the shoot I sat with both of them out on the floor in front of one of the TV stations so she can see the pictures I just took of her daughter. The girl must have been closer to 8 years old and had already changed out of her first communion dress. While I'm clicking through the pictures the girl starts tugging at her mom and asking for "some". The mother eventually gave in to the girl's demands and told her to stand in front of her. The woman begins to lift her shirt and reveals that she is very not wearing a bra and that she has awkwardly large nipples. ( I guess that is the sort of are the thing you notice when you're blindsided by nip. ) The girl starts to breastfeed and I'm just sitting there with my mouth open and it probably looked like I wanted some or something. I just vigorously clicked through the rest of the pictures and while I sat there trying not to make eye contact all I hear is the whole room going silent. It was one of those "should I call Maury?" moments.

tl;dr A customer breastfed her 8 year old daughter in front me and the rest of the customers at a portrait studio. -cascandar

2. Ouch.

I had a 6'5 guy with a humongous build punch himself in the face because I couldn't replace his phone for free. -Mogaar

3. If he pooped that much before coffee...

Worked at a CC's coffee shop in New Orleans. Mildly crazy looking guy walks in and goes into the bathroom. He smeared his shit all over the bathroom walls. Came out (without washing his hands) and ordered a coffee. Cops who were in the place arrested him. -rotosound

4. Good morning!

I worked at starbucks and a guy ordered 21 shots of espresso, figured he had other peoples order we took the order and gave him what he paid for, suddenly he downs them all, walks out of the store and pukes on the curb. -BracedPolecat

5. Quite the ring toss.

My first job was at Burger King.

My second day I saw a customer come in and order like 4 orders of onion rings and take them into the bathroom. He came out 10 seconds later with no food, no bags, nothing - just a creepy smirk on his face.

I am convinced he dropped his pants and loaded them onto his penis. -ThisisBowietoBowie

6. Savage.

I used to work in a grocery store and we ran into shoplifers every now and then but one guy stood out above the others. It was an elderly man who loaded his shopping cart as full with beer as he could then ran out to his car as fast as he could. I ran out to try to get a license plate so he drove his car backwards all the way out of the parking lot and down the street so i couldn't read it. -manaworkin

7. Ace Ventura has met his match.

Some maladjusted space cadet customer in a ridiculous hat/clothing ensemble was pushing her baby carriage around the furniture store. She was mumbling weirdo noises into this baby carriage; it wasn't quite baby-talk, more like a chitter you'd make at a squirrel, but with some voice inflection.

Anyway, I was about to approach her when a cat leapt out of the baby carriage! Scared the hell outta me! It jumped onto an entertainment center, and she picked it up and put it back in her carriage. She had one other cat and a rabbit in there, furniture shopping. -BlackbeltJones

8. Another Saturday night.

I was working an overnight shift at a gas station when a drunk woman came in at about 3am to buy cigarettes. She couldn't remember the PIN for her debit card, no matter how many times she tried. After the fourth time, I realized that she had pissed in her pants in front of the counter. She ended up leaving in a cab a few minutes later.

Boy, that cab driver was NOT happy when he came back to buy paper towel. -acidwarp

9. Free pizza!

I worked at a library once and a man shoved a full box of pizza (with a pepperoni pizza still inside it) into the outside book deposit. -KyleGibson

10. What a gas.

When I was in high school I worked in the produce department of a large grocery store. I was bent over getting some product from the bottom of my work cart when an old man came right over to me and farted in my face. Also at the same store I saw another old man shake a small turd from his pant leg. I guess he sh*t himself and it rolled right down his leg on onto the tile floor. -crispyonions

11. Flash forward.

I worked at a grocery store that had just started charging for plastic grocery bags. An older gentleman was in my line and explained to him that we now charged for bags. He undid his pants and put his testicles on my counter and said he "already have my own". -starrie

12. A slippery situation.

I worked in a general store that was down the road from two penitentiaries, so we got a lot of visitors that would then be heading that way.

This one guy comes in and asks if we have any Vaseline and I quickly point out that we don't. It was obvious to me that this guy was going to stuff some drugs up his butt as thy normally use our washroom for. He then sees some baby oil and buys that. He immediately jolts off the the washroom and spends a good 20 minutes in there. By the time he comes out, it's really busy and I barely notice or even remember him. Another 20 minutes pass and I go to check the cleanliness of the washroom.

I grab the door to open it: covered in baby oil. Flick the light switch on: baby oil. Once I see inside, it's a massacre. Baby oil is on every possible surface from the mirror to the toilet and even the toilet plunger.

Just another day at work, really. -SilverTunaTonight

13. He should pee on her next.

I work at a fabric store. I was fortunate enough to be working at the cutting counter (as opposed to the front registers) one day, to see a woman browsing the fabric section with her son suddenly pull down her son's pants and instruct him to pee on the floor. When an employee who was standing nearby saw it, he asked her why she did that (some customers leave our restroom door locked on their way out, so anyone else who tries to use it can't get in), and she said that she was busy, didn't want to stop shopping to take him to the restroom, then ordered the employee to clean up the mess.

TL;DR A woman pulled down her son's pants and ordered him to use the floor rather than a restroom -Elyezabeth

14. Bloody hell.

I saw a Brit adult throw a tantrum at the McDonalds at Heathrow because they switched the menu from breakfast to lunch which he missed by 5 minutes. He demanded to speak to the manager. They point at the clock, argue, then agreed to let him order breakfast. He then tried ordering something that wasn't on the McDonalds breakfast menu. Another argument ensues. Manager called back. Hungry people in line began discussing how they may murder this individual so that others may eat and survive. Finally he ordered french fries. Small french fries. My hungry Irish travel companions were not amused. -wearedevo

15. Sing for your supper.

I work at a deli. One elderly customer took out his dentures and began doing an impressive Redd Foxx impression. It was totally unsolicited and in a student neighborhood of Boston where very few other customers had heard of Redd Foxx. I gave the guy a discount. -tunaffect

16. You catch more evil with honey than vinegar.

I worked at walmart and on coming back from lunch I see my manager and two cops by the registers trying to subdue this older woman. Came to find out she was throwing vinegar on people screaming, "clean off your evil!!". -​​​​​​kamadams

17. Touchdown.

Saw a guy sprint out of a grocery store I worked at with a basketload of meat, only to be NFL-style tackled by our undercover cop halfway across the parking lot. Was a pretty LOL sight. -kmoz

Anyone who's ever said, "I do" will definitely relate to these hilarious marriage memes. Whether you've been married for 2 years or 22 years, this list totally nails the funny and true aspects of life after walking down the aisle.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.