Virtual learning may be useful, and the only option for many students all over the world right now. But it's also not without its (many, many) pitfalls. One of the biggest pitfalls: in a virtual classroom, the line separating our private and public lives is very tenuous—and something as simple as forgetting to press "mute" can be the gateway to a world of shame. Ask any student or teacher who's been in a virtual classroom for the past few months: accidental "hot mic" moments are as hilarious and common as they are painful for whoever forgot to hit that lifesaving "mute" button.

Someone asked students and teachers of Reddit: "what’s the best ‘forgot to turn off the mic’ story during virtual learning?"

These 25 students and teachers share the times they learned TMI about their teachers or peers, or accidentally overshared themselves:

1.) From hlfblnd:

Some guy's mother started yelling at him : "Turn down the freaking sound, I am so sick of listening to your classes the whole day, go to the balcony and continue from there or just bloody drop out of uni" along with a set of few swear words. Our professor muted him so I don't really know what happened next.

2.) From daemare:

I had to defend my thesis over Zoom and many professors came into the call to watch. My thesis was about immune response in fish to parasites. One professor joined late and forgot to mute her mic and we got treated to this little gem:

"Shhhh. Mommy is learning about fish parasites, which is what you'll get if you don't stop peeing in the koi pond."

3.) From Mike-The-Fridge:

A girl’s mom: “Who the f*ck you on the computer fo this early in the morning?” And asking the same thing over and over

Teacher: “_ I think your mic is on”

4.) From MrSpyder_:

Was in a meeting with my class for the first day of school, and I had forgotten to mute myself. I then proceeded to start noisily baby-talking my cat, who was in my lap at the time. Embarassing.

5.) From ElectronicHeart-903:

When I was doing an online Algebra camp, the teacher forgot to turn off his Mic while we were supposed to be doing some problems. He said "I f*cking hate math."

6.) From SonOfCoul27:

English Zoom call. Teacher was holding us like 15+ minutes after the period had ended. She said something along the lines of "keep working arduously" and I responded with "if she says arduously ONE MORE TIME I'm going to FLIP A TABLE"

I was not on mute

7.) From AndeeCreative:

I teach for an online university that requires me to conduct a weekly live session. One morning I was lecturing and a student popped in late. I said, “Hello, (student name)! Thanks for joining us.” She said, “Don’t say my name, b*tch!”, just before she realized her mic was on and turned it off. I just laughed.

8.) From xandrenia:

In one of my classes, this girl wrote in the Zoom chat “this is so f***ing boring” not realizing that the professor could see it

9.) From throwaybff:

Girl forgot to turn off her mic and started screaming at her parents in Chinese . I wish I understood what she said . After few minutes, she gasped loudly when she finds out she didn’t mute it .

10.) From solo1024:

I just did 8 hour zoom calls for 7 weeks training for a new project. On the second week, a man unmutes his call, farts the longest fart I’ve ever heard in my life, then when he finishes, mutes the call. I can see others laughing while muted at his fatal error of thinking he wasn’t muted and so he went to “mute” his call.

I found this to be the highlight of the week, but the following week the guy does it again!!! Honestly the second time I laughed but then started to wonder if it was some kind of power move...

11.) From vegancheezits:

In a math class I was in last year, we were taking a test, which you have to turn your mic on for—their way of trying to prevent cheating. Some girl apparently forgot that hers was on and started belting out Stand By You by Rachel Platten at the top of her lungs. It went on for the entire song and she was still humming it when I finished the test and left the call.

12.) From townie0114:

During my English class, this one girl forgot to mute herself. While my teacher was talking, she almost deafened all of us on the Zoom call answering her mother's questions.

Her mother (from a distance): "What class are you in?"

Her (yelling): English!

Her mother: Oh, the hot teacher?

Her: Yeah that guy

Now, even I'll admit my teacher is fairly attractive, but it does take it to another level when you get your own mother involved. Thankfully, our teacher is a chill guy and thought the whole thing was just kind of funny, and kind of just gave a general reminder to the class to keep mics muted. She didn't say anything for the rest of the class.

13.) From bingbong1234:

I was producing a video for some university professors on a specific medical thing for a virtual learning course. I was all set up to shoot the process, and the teachers excused themselves to the next office to regroup and have a chat. I already had their wireless lav mics attached and fed to my camera, so when I sat down at the camera and put on my headphones I immediately heard their conversation - they were criticizing me, saying they couldn't believe they hired someone so young, inexperienced in that particular medical field, how I looked, how I asked questions, etc... Oops! At least I made them a fine video. These days I don't put my headphones on until we're about to shoot.

14.) From Odd_Camera_9588:

Ironically my IT teacher forgot to turn of his mic and camera and proceeded to get in a very heated argument on the phone with his ex-girlfriend who he has a kid with. Did I mention that she’s also a teacher at our school? Yeah most awkward 5 minutes of my life before he realised

15.) From toutcompris:

Gr 3 kid stopped in the middle of the class meeting; and took his laptop to the bathroom with him. He sat on the toilet for the rest of the meeting.

16.) From dragonncat:

One time in an art class (separate from my school) my dad knocked on my door. It was dead silent at that point, everyone was working on their projects. I clicked the mute button and yelled "WHAT!?" Turns out my mic was already muted and I turned it on. I startled the entire class and the teacher asked if I was okay.

17.) From The_Legendarian:

A student in my class forgot to turn off their mic, and we heard some background noises (doors closing,tapping...) and because of a display bug, we couldn't see where the noise was from.

Then the student started saying crap about the teacher, "oh, yeah this is useless, he's just writing on a tablet, even I could do that, etc."

Everyone heard that, the teacher heard them just insult him. They didn't come back to the classes after that.

18.) From le_gasdaddy:

Was in training before classes started this year. 200ish teachers. Only principal and AP were speaking. Teacher has her mic unmuted, phone rings, picks it up and says, "hey. Yeah. Just sitting here in another one of these goddam trainings. "

19.) From Non-native-English:

My teacher got scolded by his wife (another teacher in school) because she needed to work and he didn't repair her computer. He was a computer technology teacher and he just keep saying "Sorry honey, I forgot. I won't do it again. I promise it will take two seconds to fix it." in loop because the wife went on a little rant of how he always forgot things. When he saw the mic was still on he blushed and after a moment of silence just went on with the lesson.

20.) From WineMomParker:

I’m a college student. Last semester we had a girl place an entire dinner order over the phone with her mic on while we all tried to tell her that her mic was on. I think she had us muted. She was ordering Mediterranean food. I think she got a chicken gyro.

21.) From 0skyturtle:

During a virtual gym class for my high school. A girl forgot to mute herself during a workout and yelled some obscene things very loudly

22.) From whaddupdemons:

it isn't too bad, but during the graduating ceremony for a class, all staff were asked to attend and turn on their mic to clap at certain points so it wouldn't be awkward. One such staff member forgot to turn their mic back off and was heard loudly jokingly insulting her husband and asking for another drink whilst complaining about how long and boring this was. This was broadcast to a whole class, their parents, and anyone else listening. We stuck together and didn't tell anyone who it was, but we all knew.

MUTE. YOUR. MICS!!!

23.) From chavrilfreak:

During one of the lectures, our cat came into the room and jumped into my lap. I proceeded to tell him how very cute he is and how much I love him, in the stupidly sweetest voice possible because he's the best boi.

Then, a full minute or two into me praising the cat, a message popped up from my classmate saying I'm unmuted. I had a mini spook and replied with "oh hahaha I was just talking to him" + a picture of the cat.

It was extra awkward because I walk around with a resting bitch face and barely talk to anyone when we're at uni, so my classmate later admitted that the only reason no one warned me sooner was because it didn't occur to them that the person with this sweet voice was me :/

24.) From inhalingsounds:

The president of the uni I attended (until 2007) was presenting something with a bunch of other important people. This was being recorded for later upload and right when the pandemic was starting, around March 2020.

His wife appears in the middle of the talk mad as hell telling him to go clean the toilet and that she's not her slave to clean his sh*t. A few very awkward seconds later he just says "maybe we have to edit this out later".

Now imagine how viral this must have been: I haven't had any ties to the uni since 2007 yet somehow the video got to my whatsapp.

25.) From Unknown_user_12:

Well, it happened in one of the classes.

The teacher was going through a rough time and the class could feel it. We assured her that we had done our homework and that she could take rest for the time being. She agreed and told she would switch her mic off and sleep for a while, as we did whatever.

Her husband was right beside her and the mic wasn't turned off. She told, " I am so lucky to have these students" and started sobbing to her husband. We all heard this, but kept quiet to prevent her being embarrassed.

She slept well during that time and we sent her a thank you gift collectively.

Even the best and most creative pick-up lines tend to run the gamut of corny, so when you get into the bad ones - well, it gets grim quickly.

While Tinder can be a space for smart and connective conversation, it's also prime real estate for people to practice their pick-up lines, and spoiler: it often doesn't go over well.

Here are just a few examples of attempted pick-up lines that went south quickly. Hopefully, they serve as a cautionary tale to anyone trying their hand at creative flirting.

1. This updated version of a popular lullaby.

2. This honest rebuttal.

3. When the racism is so weird you go with it.

4. This brutal honesty.

5. Pictures say a thousand words.

6. Big yikes energy.

7. This natural progression.

8. This one's a thinker.

9. This beautiful trap.

10. This well-leveled comeback.

11. Fun with counting.

12. This perfect reroute.

13. How we all feel.

14. This swift shutdown.

15. This potentially perfect match.

16. This was a nope all around.

17. Love wins, in this case.

18. RIP Linda.

19. The reality.

20. TFW it's too early for all of this.

21. Well, there we go.

22. Sometimes you gotta leave it on read.

23. This is a mess.

24. At least she's honest.

25. This is love.

Like coughing or sneezing, laughing is a physiological reaction that can be hard to control. Unlike with coughing or sneezing, however, is that people take laugh laughter personally, and there's a time a place for cracking up until you snort.

People shared the most inappropriate places they couldn't help but crack up, and some major themes emerge:

Thou shalt not laugh at church, though shalt not laugh at the misforunte or others, and most importantly, thou shalt not waste funny jokes on children.

1. Bad doggo!

I used to be a wedding planner. One wedding was set on a coastal beach. Really great day, I had been working on this for months. Now, the couple decided that the ringbearer would be their Labrador and he would have the rings on a ribbon around his neck, fair enough. So a bridesmaid would let him off the leash at the beginning of the aisle and he would trot down to the happy couple. We did test runs and he was really good so he was the least of my problems.

Or so I thought. I'm right at the back with my schedule, ceremony starts but the dog had different ideas, he stormed down the aisle (almost knocking the bride over) past the couple, down the beach and into the sea with the RINGS. Half of the groomsmen running after him ending up drenched in the sea. I literally had tears running down my face with laughter, there was f*ck all I could do, had to balance against a wall with my heels embedded in the sand. -AlmousCurious

2. Gorffwyswch mewn heddwch.

My dad’s funeral. My maternal grandfather got very emotional, and when he’s emotional, he loses his English and lapses into Welsh. He’s also a trained singer, so halfway through one of the hymns he starts bellowing it out in Welsh, which no one else in the church could speak (we live in Scotland). It was funny and awful at the same time.-MaryNorn

3. Don't butt in.

My younger sister and I were altar serving on Ash Wednesday. We were probably about 13 and 11 years old.

The priest is making the cross on each parishioner’s forehead with ashes and saying “remember, man, that thou art but dust and to dust thou shalt return.”

My 13 year old brain decided to interpret that as “thou art butt dust” and I snorted.

That set my sister off and we were both sitting there laughing our asses off and trying to stifle it as much as possible. -bookem_danno

4. Slapstick comedy.

My (60F) neighbour was about to open her gate but then she saw us, and she quickly turned around to say hello. Well, she perfectly face planked to the ground while doing so, got up and acted like nothing had happened and continued talking. I tried to ask her if she was okay but couldn't stop laughing. I must have looked like an asshole, it was the most perfect plank I've ever seen. -indianfootprints

5. Schadenfreude.

I happened to witness the immediate aftermath of a car accident between this woman and a younger guy who seemed to be a new driver.

The young guy had a STOP sign and the woman was cussing at him, telling him he should be paying more attention and that he will kill someone if he drives like that. The poor dude was practically speechless and still reeling from the shock of the accident.

Just as I was about to go on with my day, here comes a delivery guy on a scooter. He stops for half a sec to take stock of the situation and goes "Hey, lady! Leave the poor kid alone, you were going the wrong way on a one-way street" while pointing at a sign that confirmed what he said.

Suffice it to say, I pissed myself laughing at her as she went back to her car realizing she was at fault after all. -I_hate_traveling

6. We need the video, please.

A teenager was harassing a middle aged woman in a wheel chair.

The teenager tried to kick her in the face ..... she caught his foot so he fell on his face, she held his foot up and repeatedly kicked his nuts with her giant special boot. -​​​​​​RedbearVIII

7. Available in aisle seven.

Clearly tired dad and his, I'm assuming, 5 year old daughter in a supermarket, following behind him pointing out things that she thinks they need in an obnoxious voice.

Girl: Daddy, do you know what WE need?

Dad: silence

Girl: Daddy!! Do you know what WE need?

Girl: DADDY!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED?!

Dad: A muzzle.

Had to duck into the next aisle so fast and burst out laughing, the people in that aisle had no idea what I'd just heard and looked at me like I was laughing at voices in my head. -mandala2525

8. So much pun.

Someone was repairing the sidewalk outside of a McDonalds with sealant and I legiterally went up to him and shouted "Nice Caulk!"

...I am the only one who laughed. -Lokarin

9. Is he the a**hole?

Was in a restaurant and there was this kid a few seats ahead of me just being loud and annoying, so when he got out of his seat to do god knows what, he tripped and fell on his untied show and face planted into the hardwood floor, i laughed out loud so hard and i got a lot of nasty stares but it was worth it. -MR_MemeLord_

10. A natural reaction to discomfort.

I was talking to my colleague and I causally asked him how his weekend went -I was expecting him to say the usual boring stuff like walked the dog etc- instead out of nowhere he says “it was fine, went to my mates funeral” at that moment I burst out laughing in his face uncontrollably, I don’t understand why it made me laugh so much but it was the last thing I expected him to say. I’m a terrible person. -Mechanicallysoundpoo

11. Sweet Jesus.

Lady at church started speaking in tongues. I just couldn't help myself. I was around 11-13 years old at the time. The pastor had the nerve to pull me to the side and lecture me. I hated church. The worst thing a parent can do is force their child to go to church if they don't want to. -olivepopeth

13. Out with a bang.

At my grandma's funeral, when it came time for interment, all of us who'd gone to the cemetery were asked to stay some 50 yards away as they were sodding the whole new area of the cemetery we were in. However, my grandpa wanted to sprinkle some dirt on her casket, so they permitted him to do so, with my mom, aunt, and uncle alongside. A few moments later, we heard a really loud thud--evidently, because of the nature of the dirt there, instead of being able to find a small handful of loose dirt, he picked up a little clod or two and tossed that into the grave. Hearing the thud in the distance, my wife and sisters and I couldn't resist busting out laughing. Luckily grandpa was too far away to hear it. -fell-deeds-awake

15. His heart will go on.

In history class we watched Titanic, and it was my first time watching it. All the other girls in the class were tearing up, and then the scene happened where the guy falls off the side, hits the propeller, and bounces. Myself, and a couple of lads burst out laughing. The teacher had one of those smiles where he was obviously trying to be serious, and simultaneously trying not to laugh with us.

That's the only one that comes to mind, but I also have a twisted and dark sense of humour. I imagine there are countless times when I've laughed at a joke about an awful topic in public.-StifferThanABoner

16. Cue the drum solo.

Family comes into buffet (this was well before COVID), queue their annoying child, smashing forks, spoons and butter knives on the table as "drums" while the dad is buried in his phone. Well the spoon eventually flies out of the kids hands, and it smacks the father directly in the face. I laughed so hard - I had to leave the restaurant to gain my composure again. Good times. -Kipick

17. Hakuna Matata.

When I was 10 years old, my mother took me to the theaters to watch The Lion King. When Mufasa died, it was real quiet, this little girl who must've been 5 or 6 years old screams "They killed the Papa? THEY KILLED THE PAPA!!! Ahhhhhh" and starts balling her little eyes out. My mother and I were the only ones who bursted out laughing. It was adorable and sweet the way she said it all, as to why we thought it was funny/cute. -coolcrushkilla

Being a parent is hard. Just ask any of these dads who tried their best, and yet, their best wasn't very good. But hey, at least they tried?

These 19 dads deserve an A for effort, but also an F for fail:

1.) This dad who microwaved a shirt.

2.) This dad who helped his kids get into the water... a little too literally.

3.) This dad who ruined Winnie the Pooh.

4.) This dad who killed a fly....and his daughter's iPhone.

5.)This dad who made his daughter a "unicorn" omelet. At least it's original.

6.) This dad whose dad joke did not go over well.

7.) This dad who mistook a diaper cover for a hat.

8.) This dad who got his baby stuck in a hedge.

9.) This dad who slightly overestimated his child's abilities.

10.) This dad's whose daughter is not named Billy.

11.) This dad who created a diaper disaster.

12.) This dad who made a sandwich and then ruined a sandwich.

13.) This dad who learned the hard way that some things don't go in the dishwasher.

14.) This dad whose love for his daughter is blinding.

15.) This dad who forgot a key rule in parenting: never, ever turn around.

16.) This dad who tried to make a chicken pot pie.

17.) This dad who failed at baking.

18.) This dad who let his kid eat the Babybel wax.

19.) This dad who forgot to hit "record."

We expect a cerain level of conduct from people in positions of authority at a workplace. But we probably shouldn't. Because bosses and managers are just as capable of petty and unprofessional behavior as their employees—in fact, their position of power can make their behavior even worse. Sometimes, much worse.

Someone asked employees of Reddit: "what's the most unprofessional or petty thing you have experienced or witnessed at work?" These 22 people share stories of the pettiest and worst behavior they've seen or experienced from a boss or manager:

1.) From Underhaul:

Supervisor asked me for a hug, I declined, she said she refused to have anyone unhappy on shift and told me I should go home.

2.) From O_littoralis:

My boss doesn't believe in sick days (for herself or anyone else). So she came in all last week with a terrible cold/laryngitis. This week three other people have a terrible cold/laryngitis.

Sick days aren't meant for fun times, they're meant to prevent the spread of contagious illnesses. She's such a goddamn idiot. I need a new job.

3.) From [deleted]:

I worked as a head lifeguard at a waterpark. We had a minor situation where a kid who couldn't swim jumped into the deepend. The lifeguard of that area went in to get her no big deal, happens a lot. My boss, the park supervisor heard the whistle blow, ran over full speed and jumped in with the non waterproof radio among other important items. I let her know she didn't need to do that, that i had it under control. She replied that i should never tell her she is wrong and sent me home for the day.

4.) From nokandykid:

I've worked for my company for almost two years and I haven't used any vacation leave. I decided to treat myself to a four day weekend, I took Thursday and Friday off. Thursday morning my boss calls me like 4 times. I'm so annoyed because I wanted to sleep in. I answer it the fifth time she calls. She's begging me not to read the email she sent me when I get to the office on Monday. She said she wrote it while she was feeling mean spirited and felt like bulling me. Can't wait to forward it to HR when I go back to work tomorrow.

Edit: Just got work.

Note I work 8-5. The first email was dated 6pm and the second 630pm on 10/24. My boss is in her mid 70s.

[Name], I will be taking disciplinary actions. You were approved leave 10/25-10/26 and not 10/24. I do not understand why you would not show up for work today. You are childish. It is grounds for termination, understand that, you are lucky I do not fired you.

Second email [Name], Disregard the last email. I checked your time card and saw you were here all day on 10/24/12.

I'd like to note that I said "See you on Monday" to my boss an hour before the email was written, and she smiled at me. It's just kind of sad, I'm not going to report her to HR. I just feel bad for her now.

5.) From jlbecks:

My bosses gave everyone a copy of the schedule that had all the names of the workers. We were told to choose three people who we thought should be laid off. I gave them back the list and told them that they didn't hire me to make those types of decisions for them. Two days later as I was coming into work I was stopped at the door by one of the owners, he told me that "Survivor council has convened, and that I had been voted off the island. Yeah, your fired." I had worked there for over a year, and to be dismissed like it was a f*cking game was pretty ridiculous.

6.) From bumpty:

Was working for a small business and was repeatedly asked to use my own personal car to make deliveries and pick up supplies. I eventually told the owner that I didn't feel comfortable using my personal vehicle for company work. My statement was polite and voiced my concerns of only having liability insurance on it and having to pay for all the gas on my own too. The owner was like, how many miles did you drive yesterday? Maybe 3? Here's 75 cents. That's average mileage pay. And he drops 3 quarters into my hand.

I looked at the change in my hand, then looked up at him, then back at the change in my hand and they were diamonds.

Just kidding. I threw the quarters on the ground as I looked at him and said I don't want your change. Then I quit and told him to shove it.

7.) From drkush:

My previous job my boss told me that I needed to go to church, and they were concerned because no one ever saw me say grace when eating lunch in my cubicle. She and others in the office would constantly nag me about christian stuff, it got so bad that I would avoid conversations with many folks there because it always lead to Jesus. They ended up firing me for petty reasons and I've lawyered up.

8.) From dawrina:

Once I was working on stock day, and although stock still needed to be put away, the employees that were scheduled to get off wanted to leave.

I asked them if they would stay and help put away stuff, but the one employee was whining that he wanted to leave, and I was really irritated with his whining, so I went ahead and let him clock out and go.

I walked back into the office to get something, and my boss who was sitting at the computer putzing around says to me

"is stock put away yet?" I said "No. The employees that were scheduled to leave left, so I have to do it myself."

And he Flipped his sh*t.

"What do you MEAN they left? I THOUGHT I told you to to tell those employees to stay."

so I said

"Umm If they're scheduled to get off, I can't FORCE them to stay. None of them wanted to stay to help, it's not my fault they were only scheduled until 1."

Then he pulls out this gem:

"I'm sick of your f***ing bulls**t." I left the office. Then, a couple of hours later, he asks me if stock is done again. I was f*cking pissed off, so I said

"Mostly. But I can't put the sodas away because I can't reach the top shelf." (keep in mind these are 50lb syrups, I have trouble lifting them)

and he says to me, INSTEAD OF OFFERING HIS HELP

"Get a stool."

I am so glad he no longer works there.

9.) From taralegal:

I had a nurse supervisor who would take advantage of my being a nice person but having me pick up her breakfast every day in the cafeteria, since I was going over there for myself. Every day. She was lazy and I was being taken advantage off. So one day I decided I wasn't going to do. When she came to bring me her money I politely told her that I wasn't buying that morning. It turned into an argument to the point of where SHE CRIED and I said, fine, gimme your money, whatever, I'll go get your breakfast. She walked away. Later, I was called into the Director's office and she said I should have just got the breakfast for her. WTH?

10.) From drexalparks:

I found a private diary of personal gripes about me that my manager wrote up. Then locked in the filing cabinet. Not work related sh*t either. Just things I did that bugged her. It was rough because It was a tiny pet food store and it would just be the two of us sitting there. with no customers for hours. And then I realize all the time she's spending in the bathroom, it her writing sh*t about me. When I thought about it, she was even doing it sitting on bags of dog food next to me. I couldn't believe it.I eventually told her I knew about them and she was red paint pink in the face.

11.) From priseambolina:

I had a boss tell me that I was working too hard and making her favorite employee look bad... wut?

12.) From XavierMendel:

My boss told me to stop wearing ties because it made me look too professional. I owned maybe three ties. I now own about 50, and made sure to cycle them appropriately.

Now I wear whatever the hell tie I want. I don't even like ties.

13.) From handshape:

As a software developer, I once got hired into a shop as a "fixer" - the one who brings projects back on track. First red flag was that the team had three times as many database administrators as IT workers of any other discipline...

So I get to the end of my first month there, and I'd automated about half of the tasks being done by the database team. I submit a status report, and am called in to an early-morning meeting by the project manager, who proceeds to flip her sh*t... Proper screaming, hairstyle coming undone, waving wads of paper at me freakout. The exchange culminates with her screaming "you're not respecting the database! Respect the database! Respect the databaaaaase!"

I turned to the manager for the shop, and said, "this is why you're over budget." I got canned before the next month was out. Turns out that he and she were a "thing".

14.) From [deleted]:

I got called into my bosses office for putting the paper clip too close to the top of the center of the piece of paper. No one ever told me I had to keep it directly in the center. Apparently this is a very important rule.

15.) From madleprakahn:

I had a boss once that was obsessed with my pants. If I wore the same pair more than once a week I would get called into his office "talk about dress code". It was a government job, and the pants were always clean, never smelled bad, etc. I'm just a dude that really doesn't give a sh*t about having a huge wardrobe, nor the money to support it. I actually ended up quitting that job because of various "alpha male" bullsh*t he'd pull.

16.) From Python8825:

Boss told me that my belt's slack needs to be longer.

17.) From ProfObladee:

My old boss came out of the coffee shop bathroom, walked right up to me as I was making a drink, and yelled at me to go clean the bathroom immediately because "it is a disgusting mess in there." I dropped what I was doing and went to the bathroom only to see that everything was in proper order except that one unopened toilet paper roll had fallen from the shelf onto the floor. Needless to say, I did not take her bullsh*t for much longer.

18.) From herestoshuttingup:

My old boss used to get furious at me because when I needed to enlarge text in MS word for a small print job (maybe ten envelopes, each with someones first and last name on them) i had to do each day, I would type the text, highlight it, and then change the font size. He demanded that I change the font size before I started typing and threatened to write me up if I didn't.

19.) From Burtonken23:

My boss started berating me yesterday about how I wasn't working fast enough, was taking too long to lift the car, wasn't working hard enough, wasn't talking to anybody and how I looked like sh*t. This was all within about 15 minutes after I got to the shop 2 hours early because someone called off and he told, not asked, me to come in that second. I stopped, put down my impact gun, took off my safety glasses, and shouted "Hey [manager name] why don't you go back to your f*cking office, sit behind your god damned desk and play a nice game of hide-and-go-f*ck-yourself and leave me alone". I have never gone off on anyone at my work and everyone had a huge wtf just happened look. My other boss started the day before. He was just behind me about to introduce himself. Yay.

20.) From nincil:

I once had the manager of the office I work at complain about how my pants "swished" too loudly when I move around and how that was interrupting interviews behind closed doors. Oh and according to her I stomp around like an elephant. I wore heavy work boots so it does make a bit of sound. However, another staff in the same office literally shakes the complex when he walks ( I'm not even joking, the walls and sh*t vibrate with each step he took) and he has never gotten a complain from her. I just chalked it up to she's bitter that she can't kick me or the project I'm affiliated with out of the office.

21.) From Vincent__Vega:

I was playing on our company baseball team and my boss/coach kept telling me to shave my sideburns, I don't have any sideburns.

22.) From UserDrew:

I worked for a hotel. I had this manager in the catering department who always liked having us set up a room only to have it rearranged in some way. Usually stupid because the room set ups were typically agreed upon with the sales person's clients. The sales people would see the setup and then make us reset the room. This manager also frequently got on my case for wearing a thin, long sleeved shirt, under my work polo to hide the grotesque psoriasis I had on my elbows when working with people's food. She would point it out in a condescending, faux polite, manor. So I talked to other managers who told me they didn't have an issue with it. These exchanges would occur only when she was around.

And one time she handed me a disposable razor and a bar of soap with the instructions to remove my beard (which I kept well trimmed) and side burns or else she would send me home. After I shaved she sent me home anyway because I didn't do a satisfactory job shaving in total Steinbrenner fashion.

23.)

Sometimes, the quickest exchange with a stranger can leave a lifelong impression. Oftentimes, an unexpected expression of kindness, or a few well-placed words can put the world in perspective when we're in distress. And who better to deliver these moments of revelation than a stranger?!

There's something extra cinematic about having a poignant moment with someone you'll never see again. I

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared times a complete stranger profoundly impacted their lives, and it'll respark the kindling of hope in humanity.

1. From tenderlittlenipples:

Back in 2012, I went on my first solo trip to Thailand I was living in Karon Phuket. It was my first day there and at a late-night BBQ up in the cliffs, just finished my food and was sipping a cold Chang and this American guy walks up to me.

"May I join you?"

Yeah sure, I said, he was a 50-year-old originally from North Carolina working in Dubai as a teacher whose wife had died. He asks a lot about me why I'm here, aspirations in life, family situation. We have a very intense discussion about life in general and he was incredibly intelligent. The conversation switches to him and why he is here, he tells me that he bought a motorbike and he has zero agenda, he had been biking all over Asia solo for months with no concrete plan.

He pulls out a little scrapbook and starts going through the places and pictures and notes in it and starts giving me tips on places to go, places to eat, places to stay, routes to take. I got some paper from the bar and started taking notes on these amazing hidden gems all throughout South East Asia. We drink all night get hammered and he takes off in the morning I never see him again.

A few years back I traveled on a bike to one of the routes he recommended eating at places he talked about caves, lagoons, waterfalls, hot springs you name it he recommended it. It was a hell of an adventure loved every minute, he recommended some amazing things and I'm truly grateful I met that American that night. Great bloke, hope he's doing well.

2. From funwithallama:

I (f, 22 at the time) was at the airport waiting to go home after visiting my boyfriend that I don’t get to see much. A little heartbroken, I just sat there trying to keep the tears in my eyes, but a random stranger noticed my emotional turmoil.

Instead of asking if I was okay, he simply said “I’m sorry to see you’re in pain, can I do anything to help you?” And offered me a tissue. He was such a comforting presence. We ended up talking for a while as we were on the same flight that got delayed, and eventually cancelled until the next day. We hung out in the smoking lounge together, he made me promise to quit when I got home. He told me about his travels, I told him about mine. He managed to get my mind out of its pit of sadness, we talked about our shared hobbies, what we’d been doing in that town etc.

Next day we found out we were flying to the same destination via connecting flights, and as he was a flight attendant even on holidays he was able to change his booking to be on my flight and sit with me.

Our ways parted when we lost track of each other at the third airport. I never got to say goodbye or thank him for being such an A-class human. His kindness made my trip home so much easier and I will never forget it. Sven if you’re reading this, thank you. I hope to be able to pay your gesture forward to someone who needs a friendly face some day.

3. From Scoob1978:

My daughter was born and she wasn't breathing when they took her from us. I assumed she was dead but she wasn't when they took me to the NICU she was tubed with all these scary monitoring. All the other babies were in incubators but mine wasn't. I remarked to the nurse that that felt like a good sign. It was a gut punch when she said "We only have her in the open air in case she has a heart attack and we need to move quickly. We will control her environment when the doctor says it's ok."

A doctor came in and explained that she is very sick but getting better. I simply didn't believe him I was terrified. One of the other parents in the NICU took me aside and told me that the doctors here wouldn't lie to me for liability reasons. If he thinks my girl is going to get better she probably will. It was like he untied a knot in my stomach and made it a little easier. She pulled through and is healthy.

4. From Still_Day:

When I tried to kill myself in high school I ended up in the hospital, and then shipped off via ambulance to a local mental hospital. On the way there the EMT in the back told me he used to be suicidal, we talked the whole way about how he chose to live and why and how he could tell I was a nice and worthwhile person from the little we’d interacted.

I don’t remember most of the conversation because I was all drugged up, but I remember feeling like someone actually saw me, actually understood, and actually cared. It was kind of a first, and it’s one of my happiest memories even tho I can’t remember most of it. I don’t even remember his name. But whoever you were, I hope your life is great, and thank you.

5. From spsprd:

I was in a plane at JFK stuck on the tarmac for three hours, feeling kind of sorry for myself. Struck up a conversation with the elderly man next to me. Turned out he was the youngest child to survive Dachau. Showed me his tattoo. Told me he survived because he ate whatever was left on the dishes he washed.

I don't feel sorry for myself so much any more.

6. From boyvsfood2:

The "complete stranger" part is tough. I just don't have in-depth conversations with people I don't know. But I'll volunteer a story of a conversation I had with someone that I only briefly interacted with that they would have NO CLUE how much I took to what they said.

I worked at Arbys years ago. They instituted a policy that we had to completely break down the slicer twice a day, wash/rinse/sanitize all the components, and then reassemble. The problem was we were the busiest store in the area by far. So at the manager meeting where we were discussing implementation, I'm being the stick in the mud. I'm like, "We're too busy. If we pre-cut enough roast beef to handle business during the time it'll take someone to clean the whole thing, the beef will taste like sh*t, and our food quality will suffer..." One of the other managers looks and goes, "Hey, before we say it's impossible, let's give it a shot." And that changed the game for me professionally.

I realized I was a naysayer of work, change, and opportunity. And I tried really hard to change that. Years later, I had a boss who never gave compliments say to me, "You know what I like about you? No matter what we have to do or how comfortable you are with it, you're fine with it." And I thought about that manager back at Arbys that, again, has no idea the impact he had on me in that moment.

7. From spydmike:

I had a customer at my previous job telling me about how he used to stress about being single for most of his life until a week after his 40th birthday when he met his future wife outside a grocery store, just after he had accepted the possibility of being alone. He ended with sometimes waiting patiently is the only course of action, even if you don't like it.

I think about that whenever I'm feeling the single's blues.

8. From Shushuweysha:

Once at the mall I was chasing my 3-year-old. I was feeling real irritated when this guy yells to me ”just like his dad, huh?” indicating I was a child too once. Really gave me some perspective, just that one sentence.

9. From johnwalkersbeard:

I was broke as f*ck in Eugene, Oregon. Steady work was scarce. I smelled like shit because I could barely afford to do my laundry and often didn't even have detergent when I did do laundry.

The holidays were close so I took a contract job with the Salvation Army, ringing a bell. I'd stand on a cold sidewalk in the freezing pouring wind and rain on a sidewalk outside of Fred Meyer, wearing a thin gray zip-up hoody, shivering and ringing for 8 painful hours.

This gorgeous soccer mom rolls up in her gigantic suburban assault vehicle. She steps out wearing a very tasteful tan camel hair coat, jeans, nice boots, her long blonde wavy hair draped across her shoulders.

She walked past me with a disappointed look. When you're broke as sh*t, you get used to that facial expression from decent and good people, and you sort of condition yourself to shirk away like "sorry I'm a smelly degenerate piece of sh*t who's near you"

Anyway, more people come and go, her giant SUV is still out front, when I hear this very loud and aggressive woman bark, "HEY!!" at me.

I turn and look, and it's her. She has a shopping cart overflowing with bags. She rolls up to me, shoves a hand in a bag and says, "here! Put these on!"

She handed me a very nice and expensive fleece beanie, a puffy fleece scarf and these very expensive looking fleece-lined leather gloves.

"It's absolutely freezing outside. You should be wearing more than that thin jacket. Do you have a home?" I told her yes, while putting the new clothes on. They were so damn warm!! I noticed the rain would bead up on the scarf then just roll away. A gust blew and my ears didn't ring in pain.

She said "well, you need to eat" and handed me a bag of jo-jos and a bag of chicken strips. I swear to God my stomach rumbled at the sight of the warm food.

She stood in front of me and said, "I've seen you here before. You were nice to my son when he was having a bad day. You're a good looking kid, and you seem pretty smart. You deserve better than this. Go to school or something. Figure out a plan and follow it. You don't have to do live like this."

I started to well up, but bit my tears back. She realized how awkward it all was, so she just said, "okay, well ... Merry Christmas," then walked off to her vehicle, loaded it up, and drove away.

She showed me kindness and generosity at a time when I thought it was all gone, and she represented love from a demographic I'd grown to hate. She changed my perspective about humanity in less than a minute, and inspired me to aspire for more.

10. From An-Eloquent-Mute:

While all my family members are very pious (Orthodox Church) while I was always kind of a rebel and had always perceived myself as an atheist. Nevertheless, the best advice someone has ever given me actually came from a priest I met on the bus. I was 22, living through the worst kind of existential crisis, GF of 4 years cheated, realizing I will probably flunk university, self-esteem sinking by a mile each day, doing recreational drugs and drinking almost every day, etc.

All in all a recipe for depression. I was traveling to my hometown when a random guy (priest) sat beside me in a bus, he could see I wasn't feeling OK and asked whats going on. I usually don't open up to strangers, but for some reason I instantaneously started talking about my problems while he listened carefully. After some 20 minutes I finished, holding back my tears, but yet feeling kinda relieved.

He took a deep sigh and told me: "Son, you are still young, your best years are ahead of you, wasting all this time thinking about negative things won't do you any good. People tend to look back and forward in time too much, you should try to live in the moment." After 2 mins we reached his station and he got up and wished me all the best. I never learned his name nor saw him again, but almost every day remember him for a few seconds and feel kind of serenity around me.

11. From Raphendoom:

When I was eight or a bit younger, my mom brought me with her to a divorce lawyer’s office on the higher floor of a large building. While she was meeting with the divorce lawyer in his private office, I was trying to keep myself occupied in the waiting room. I recall that it was a very big waiting room.

There was a man in the waiting room. I don’t exactly remember how old he was, but he didn’t seem that old. I would probably guess in the 30-45 range. I can only assume he noticed the bored, sort of sad-looking little girl in a divorce lawyer’s waiting room because he came over to me. He talked to me, played with me, said I was a beautiful little girl and I’m pretty sure that he said something about how the bad stuff that was happening wasn’t my fault. I spent the whole time in the waiting room with him.

I don’t remember his name and I can barely recall his face, but I had an innocent crush on him. I asked him where he lived and he told me he lived in San Francisco, which was not at all far from where I lived. Maybe it’s because I’ve just always been a very sensitive and empathetic kid, but while he was smiling at me (gorgeous smile, too) and trying to make me happy, I got the sense that he was sad. I can only imagine why, given the location.

I’ve never forgotten him after all these years. I wish I knew how to get in touch with him because I’d love to just give him a hug. He will never know how much he helped me during a time where I was subjected to my parents’ messy divorce at home and being relentlessly bullied at school. I was a sensitive big-hearted kid with drug addict parents (both are clean now) and I was emotionally neglected a lot of the time... so I think his kindness will live on in my heart forever. Whenever I go to San Francisco, I spare a thought for him and wonder how he’s doing.

EDIT: I’m doubtful this will happen because I just don’t have enough information to work off of, but here’s what I know about him... in case he can be found:

- He was at least decently attractive (this is objective though, because I find plenty of “plain looking” guys handsome too!)

- He lived in San Francisco in the early-mid 2000s

- I’d guess he was about 30-45 at the time, but I may be wrong because my memory is kind of fuzzy. It’s possible he was slightly younger than that. If I’ve calculated everything correctly, he’d be around the range of 45-60 now.

- He visited a Bay Area divorce lawyer in a high-level building (I don’t remember where but I’m guessing it was either near SF or likely in the South Bay)

- He made a sad little girl’s day

EDIT 2: I spoke to my mother about it. She doesn’t remember him, but she’s going to try to find a name for the lawyer or the firm!

12. From theworldsbestjacket:

I worked in a subway for the summer years ago. There was a regular customer, 60 odd, rode an old timey bicycle with a basket that he kept his dog in.

Anyway, one time he comes in and it's just me and him in the restaurant. He asks how I am, I tell him I am fine. He asks how I really am, and for no particular reason, I told him some of the problems I was facing in my life. Let me note, this was particularly out of character for me, I keep myself to myself and don't tend to open up to my closest friends and family, let alone strangers.

He told me to "breathe, and listen to what the wind has to tell me". I didn't really know what to say to this, so I engaged in a thoughtful conversation with him. The way he spoke was unlike that of anyone I've ever met, so sincere, honest and calm.

He proceeded to explain to me how he has the ability to mentally travel to anywhere in the universe, he simply has to clear his mind and close his eyes and he will travel outside of his body and see the wonders the universe has to offer. He paused to tell me, if I think he is crazy just tell him to stop, as most people thought he was.

By this point, I was completely hooked on his stories. He told me of worlds that rained diamonds, black holes, conscious beings made entirely of gases and resin. As he left he said I would see him once again in my life, but only when I was ready. This was about 6 years ago.

I will add, the man did not strike me whatsoever as crazy, and insisted that he had never touched a drug in his life. I honestly believed that he wasn't crazy.

I don't know if he was just f*cking with me, having a bit of fun, or whatever. But the way he told me this story, I honestly believed every word, and I am not a very gullible person. At the time as well, I had never drank or taken any drugs.

The story honestly sounds so ridiculously unbelievable, and I have never spoken to anyone of it. But I hope I see him again.

13. From coradee:

When I was a freshman in college, I took a shuttle from my off-campus dorm to the campus every day. A few weeks into the first semester, a guy sits down next to me and compliments my anime messenger bag. We strike up a conversation, and he offers to introduce me to the other nerds at our dorm.

He brings me to another guy, Mark, but then leaves. Mark proceeds to escort me around to a few rooms, and I meet more people. One of these people becomes my boyfriend 2 months later, then my husband 4 years after that.

The weird thing is, I never see the original guy from the shuttle again, and no one knows who he was. That random stranger led me to my soulmate, then disappeared.

14. From transparentfopdoodle:

I was on a plane flying to my first consulting gig and an elderly gentleman was seated next to me. Normally, I just keep my head down on the plane, but he was really friendly and initiated the conversation. He told me he was coming home from a music festival and was excited to get home and wanted to know why I was traveling. I told him that I was a bit nervous because this would be my first big consulting gig but had spent time preparing, studying the customer, reading up on similar customers, etc. He told me that I should feel confident because I had done everything I could ahead of time and now it was time to enjoy the payoff.

When we got off of the plane he was met by an entourage, and whisked away. He was obviously "somebody" so Googled him to learn it was Hank Jones. He basically invented bebop piano. That music festival he was returning from was the Montreux Jazz Festival.

I have always kept his words in mind. Doing everything you can do to prepare ahead of time is what gives you confidence in pretty much anything you do. Then it is up to you to just enjoy the payoff.

15. From Way2GoBucko:

I was on a cruise in the Caribbean, three days out of Miami, to Nassau and back to Miami. Dude at the bar was chillin, about 20 years older than I was. I was already drunk, started talking to him and asked where he was from. "Jupiter!" was his answer. I assumed that this dude is just nuts and I left mid conversation.

Years later I learned that Jupiter, Florida is a real place and I was just oblivious and needed to get out more. The only assumptions I make are about myself now.

16. From hamletstragedy:

I was going through a really rough time, I was about 15 at the time. I was having a lot of identity issues and family troubles, I was also struggling with dissociation. This culminated in me sobbing in a Kohl's bathroom. I was at the sinks and a woman came up to me and told me "I don't know who you are, I don't know what you're going through, but it gets better". She offered me a hug, which I accepted. It wasn't a lot but it definitely helped me realize that there's some genuine nice folks out there.

I was going through a really rough time, I was about 15 at the time. I was having a lot of identity issues and family troubles, I was also struggling with dissociation. This culminated in me sobbing in a Kohl's bathroom. I was at the sinks and a woman came up to me and told me "I don't know who you are, I don't know what you're going through, but it gets better". She offered me a hug, which I accepted. It wasn't a lot but it definitely helped me realize that there's some genuine nice folks out there.

17. From LoopZoop2:

So, a couple of months ago, I had a really awful breakup and decided to go see a longtime friend play at a bar. While there, I met this older lady. She asked if my friend and I were dating and she jokingly said that I must be a groupie then because I traveled nearly an hour out of my way to see him. She then told me that she had been an actual groupie back in the 70s, although she never got famous for it.

Our conversation which started out very light hearted ended up turning into a very deep but sweet conversation about love and relationships. I told her about my situation with my ex and how I was still kind reeling from it. She knew how I felt, as she had been there before with plenty of men.

She told me, "Even though it hurt a lot when these guys would break my heart, I never wished to take it back. I always used that time after a break up to reflect on myself. I would learn how to love myself, and learn what kind of love I was worthy of.

18. From jeff_the_nurse:

I was about 15 and crying on a step downtown because social anxiety was really a struggle for me. After a while, a girl of about 20 stopped just to ask me what was the matter. It took a lot, but I just opened up to her as she gently held me on her shoulder and wiped my tears away. As I smiled before we went our separate ways, she promised me that things would get better. I was skeptical at first, but I always remembered our words whenever I was feeling sad. I really think she might have saved me from suicide. Leah, thank you again. I will truly never forget you!

19. From kpsdarlin:

I had to go to the ER with a terrible migraine - my family has a history of Arnold Chiari Malformation so any bad headache I'm quick to get checked out (it turned out to be a bad ear infection).

At the time I'd been smoking basically since I was 18, about 6 years, and had smoked off and on in my adolescence. I had at this point heard everything about why it was bad for me and it just never registered. I couldn't bring myself to care.

Went to the ER, was going through triage. My nurse was a tall man with the geeky stickers on his scrubs and name badge. He gets to the question about smoking. I don't know what it was, but something about how he explained why I should quit flipped a switch in my brain. I think just because of how earnest he was. Like it wasn't just a script to him. He put down the clipboard and looked me dead in the eye and like "Look here's why you need to quit". I was not even there for something related to smoking and he still took that time.

A few weeks later I smoked my last cigarette. I have been smoke-free for 5 years now. I still get dreams about it (which are obnoxious because I'll feel guilty in my dream for smoking and then wake up and be made that my subconscious is making me feel guilty). And I attribute a lot of my success to that one guy.

20. From AaronVsMusic:

Chatting with a complete stranger at a bar about some random stuff. Both drunk and desperate. We see two girls. "I speak to the blonde you go for the dark-haired one?" Let's do it man! The stranger said. The blonde is now my wife and mother of our two children.

Thank you kind stranger. I hope you are doing well.

Many people dream of encountering celebrities in the wild. However, when it actually does happen, it can be pretty disappointing—celebs are people, afterall, and people can be disappointing. But not always! Anyone who's ever encountered Bill Murray at a bar can attest to the fact that sometimes celebrity encounters are just as weird, wacky, and surprising as we always imagine them to be.

Someone asked Reddit: "what bizarre celebrity encounters have you had?" And these 24 stories from people who encountered celebs in the wild do not disappoint:

1.) From j_patrick_12:

I just went through the LAX security line with Marilyn Manson. He had "F**K" scrawled in large letters across the bottom half of his face, with what appeared to be a grease pencil. As we each removed our boots in the security line, he kindly explained that it was not directed at me or anyone else in the airport, but rather at the paparazzi, so that they couldn't sell any photos of him that they took. He was really apologetic about it, and covered his mouth around young children while apologizing to their parents for exposing their child to profanity.

2.) From newo32:

I worked for author & pick-up artist Neil Strauss. It was actually my last day on the job, even though I didn't know it.

I was up in Malibu, waiting for the bus to take me down to Santa Monica, when a car pulls over, and the driver goes "I'm going to Santa Monica if you want a ride!"

"You're not gonna kill me, are you?"

"No, I'm not gonna kill you."

I get in the car and he extends his hand and asks me my name in the MOST recognizable voice ever.

I look up...it's MARTIN SHEEN. We shot the sh*t for like 45 minutes as he gave me a ride down the coast, and INSISTED upon taking me to my specific bus stop.

At the end of the ride, we chatted really briefly about Charlie (after talking about Sorkin and West Wing and me just sporting a general writing boner)...and then he told me to hang on a second.

He gave me a blessed Rosary from Jerusalem. Every bead was made from an Olive pit. He asked me (a "recovering Catholic") to say a Hail Mary for him, and one for Charlie.

I said like six.

3.) From [deleted]:

Served Christian Bale a latte at work, he went and stood facing the wall, like a child's punishment until his coffee was ready. People were more bemused by his behaviour, thus giving him slightly more attention.

4.) From cjps93:

Matthew perry playing tennis in london, telling me to f**k off at the age of 8 when i asked for his autograph. Think it was during his pain-killer addiction.

5.) From jd1z:

I met Alan Rickman as he was going into the stage door of the theater for the broadway show Seminar. He was walking past me and I quickly blurted out, "I think you're awesome!" He stopped, turned slowly towards me, extended a hand to shake mine, raised one eyebrow, and said,

"Likewise."

It was awesome.

6.) From duckspunk:

Ted McGinley once hugged me from behind because he thought I was somebody else.

7.) From 13east69:

I saw Aphex Twin on a train to London. I walked up the isle and said "hey, you're Richard James (his name) right?" He replied "Yeah, you want a sweet?" and proceded to give me a steak and cheese flavoured hard candy... It actualy tasted like steak and cheese... WTF.

8.) From Pikmeir:

Weird Al.

My brother and I were at the airport, and we saw a man walking out of Starbucks who was crouched over with long curly hair (turns out he was trying not to be seen as it was a busy terminal). We thought he was just some random guy who had Weird Al's hair, and we were bored and immature and decided to ask him if we could take a photo with him because we thought he looked like Weird Al. Lo and behold, when we said "excuse me?" he stood up and it was freaking Weird Al. We were in shock for a moment, and I told him, "we thought you were just someone who looked like Weird Al!" to which he replied, "Oh! Well I'm glad I look like myself." I got a photo of him with my brother and he's doing the classic Weird Al face in it. He was very friendly despite obviously trying not to stand out.

9.) From [deleted]:

Amy Winehouse knocked my pint out my hand in The Good Mixer pub in London, then sung an apology. That was... Unique!

10.) From PatBabyParty:

I was having lunch at a cafe in Culver City with a friend when Nick Swardson walked by our table. I said "hey Nick! Can I get a high five? I loved you in Grandma's Boy!!" So, he gave me a high five and then asked me if there was room for another at our table.

We were both somewhat confused but moved over and made room for him, so he sat down next to us and took a cookie wrapped in cellophane out of his pocket and said "Hey, do you guys want some of this cookie? I just got it at the counter, it's so f**king good!!" and proceeded to break us both off a piece. He asked how our day was going and if we were enjoying our food, then said "it was great meeting you guys, I'm going to go get really drunk now! Take care and keep being f**king awesome!" and walked off.

11.) From catangel001:

One time I was in a Subway (sandwich place) in Orem, UT and Gerard Butler walks up behind me. I look at him, he smiles at me, and then we both pretend that he isn't himself. I say, "You look like Gerard Butler, he's one of my favorite actors." He said, "I get that a lot," and winks. Then he asks, "Well, are you a true fan of his?" And I say, "Of course!" He asks if I knew what he used to do, I reply with, "He used to be a lawyer, before giving that up to pursue acting," and then we spent the next twenty minutes discussing law, politics, and why someone would give up a successful career in law. Then, we shook hands and parted ways.

12.) From finally_cracked:

I met Muhammad Ali at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. By the time My dad and I reached him in the giant crowd of people around him, he was out of "pre-signed autograph slips". So he saw me, a 7 year old kid, standing in front of him and decided to pick me up above his above his head and he kissed me on the cheek. I get out down and as we're walking away my dad asks if I knew who that was. I said no and started crying while my dad started laughing in delight because his son just met The Greatest.

13.) From ZugTheMegasaurus:

Not me, but my dad. A couple months ago, he and his girlfriend decided to take an impromptu weekend trip to Vegas. They're sitting at this bar and notice this guy in a crazy outfit walk in. The paparazzi is trailing him and they get stuck behind a velvet rope near the entrance of the bar. As this guy is trying to sit down, these photographers keep snapping pictures.

My dad thought this was pretty rude. He pulled out his phone and started snapping pictures of the paparazzi. They start yelling at him and demanding to know what the hell he thinks he's doing and he just tells them that if they can take photos of someone who doesn't want it, then he can take photos of them.

After a couple minutes, a bodyguard from the guy's table approaches my dad and his girlfriend. My dad figures that they're too close and starts saying, "Sorry, we'll move down a bit," but the bodyguard interrupts him and says, "No sir, Mr. Rodman would like to know if you would join his table." They walk over and to their surprise, it's Dennis Rodman.

He thanked my dad for what he did and told him how it was one of the funnier reactions he'd ever seen to the photographers. He bought them a couple drinks and they sat and talked for a while; apparently he kept saying my dad was a funny guy (granted, my dad has a pretty decent, if dorky, sense of humor and jokes pretty much constantly).

Eventually my dad said they'd go back to the bar and leave him alone for a bit; he thanked them again. After another few minutes, the bartender brings over a bottle of champagne and opens it for them. My dad, being a wine lover, recognizes it as a bottle that runs several hundred dollars and stops the bartender in a panic, assuming he'd misheard their order. The bartender said it was taken care of, at which point Dennis Rodman taps my dad on the shoulder, says, "Enjoy it," and walks out.

14.) From SCVanguard:

I worked as a Santa's Helper at Scottsdale Fashion Square back in the early 00s. Very fun and awesome job, but that is another story...

One night around 15 minutes before the mall closed, we started to close up early because we had no one in line. A really tall guy walked up with a woman and a little boy. While my head was under the counter getting some items for restocking, the man asked politely if we were still open and if it was okay for them to get a photo with Santa. I said "yep, Santa is ready for you when you are!" Once I was done with whatever I was doing under the counter, I walked toward the camera and said "alright everyone, look right here at the camera and say..."

It was at this point I saw that the man was Vince Vaughn.

"...holy sh*t Vince Vaughn!!"

I was shocked and thought I'd get canned. After an unbearable silence, Santa, Vince, and the woman said, in unison, "holy sh*t Vince Vaughn". We had a hearty laugh and he let us print out an extra copy of his photo and signed it for us.

15.) From dadamax:

I used to live in the East Village about a block from Willem Dafoe. I would see him around the neighborhood a lot, enough times that we would nod to one another in greeting as we passed on the sidewalk. One day I walked into our corner convenience store and I completely spaced about why I came in there. I stood just inside the door trying to remember what I came for when I hear the bell on the door jingle and I turn around and see Willem Dafoe standing behind me. It was a small store and he thought I was standing in line at the counter so I politely told him to go ahead of me because I have no idea what I needed. He steps in front of me, stops, and says, “Dammit, now I can’t remember either.” After a few seconds he snaps his fingers, reaches up on shelf and pulls down about five packs of condoms and giddily throws them on the clerk’s counter. I told him I just remembered that I only came in for some dish washing liquid, got it from another shelf and stood behind him to pay. After he pays, on his way out the door he turns around to me and says “It’s gonna be a big night!”

16.) From hoodoo-operator:

My mom met Frank Zappa, and he ate a salad with his hands.

17.) From gwarster:

Last winter I was in the British Virgin Islands and I ran into Morgan Freeman. He was sailing around down there and his boat was on the same dock as us.

First night there, a little girl was fishing next to our boat right off the pier. She caught a fish (pretty small one). Morgan Freeman walks by as her dad is helping her take the fish off the line. They don't speak any English (they were Spanish), but he says to her anyway "Wow! Looks like I'll be having dinner on your boat tonight!" Little girl just lit up like a Christmas tree. Really cute.

Also, his boat is named "Afro-desia" Brilliant pun.

18.) From Joannaleigh:

When I was a little I was having Chinese food with my mom in some hole in the wall place in Vancouver, and Steven Tyler came in, and saw me and said I was so cute, and gave me his bandana.

19.) From caltrask55:

I've told this story before but my friend and I always "call out" everyday people that we think look like famous people. Example: see a red head "Hey look! It's Ron Howard!". We were in a bar in Boston and I saw a guy at the bar and I go "Hey look! It's Sean Penn". She goes "Bad call. Looks nothing like him". I look closer and go "Holy shit! It IS Sean Penn!". So I go up and thinking I am all cool I start talking to the guy who was with him. Sean eventually just turns to me, puts out his hand and says "Hi. I'm Sean". I am dying inside but trying to play it cool. We start talking and I tell him how I am a big fan of his but also his brother Michael Penn (musician). He proceeds to pull out his cell phone, call his brother and he hands me the phone!!! So I am talking to Michael Penn on Sean Penns cell phone. Michael tells me to call Sean "Sean-ie" cause he hates that. I do it and Sean cracks up laughing. Seriously one of the best nights of my life and why Sean Penn will always be ok in my book.

20.) From FeatherGrey:

My older brother was at a bar in LA during the night of one of the huge award shows. When he was reaching for his beer Amanda Seyfried (Karan in Mean Girls) took it and walked out of the bar without looking back. The guy next to him patted him on the back and offered a drink on him. It was Tom Hanks. What a class act.

21.) From robotrock1382:

Years ago, I'm with some friends at this shitty bar in New Orleans. A friend of a friend is playing an acoustic show, and we're the only ones in the bar. Out of nowhere, this giant crowd comes into the bar, and out of nowhere, Nic Cage emerges. Where we're sitting, between us and the stage, is a dance floor. He falls to his knees, and starts doing this weird dance thing. It looked like the pic of Hendrix when he lit the guitar on fire. He does this for a very short amount of time, then he hops up, goes " Woooohooo" and saunters out the bar, quickly followed by all of his followers. It was fu**king surreal.

22.) From itrhymeswithreally:

Obama bought me a hot dog

EDIT: He came to my university with David Cameron in the spring. I was among a group of students invited to sit by him. He was asking everyone around him if they wanted hot dogs, but they were all reluctant to say yes. I was just outside of his "offer-a-hot-dog" radius, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity. So, I reached over and said "I'll have a hot dog!". He gave me a weird look, and then turned around. Later, after the hot dogs came (he bought other people hot dogs too), he looked back at me and asked, "Did you get your hot dog?" I replied with a firm "MYEAAAH THANK YOU!"

23.) From the_fewer_desires:

I spent an evening with Elijah Wood in a hot tub. We argued about smoking laws. He made out with a girl who thought he was Toby McGuire but kept calling him Toby Keith. We hugged before he left an our bare chests touched.

24.) From electrickp0ny:

Neil Degrasse Tyson talked with me about putting an orchestra in space on the 2 train in NYC. He's a very cool dude.

Edit: He let me take a pic with him, too. http://i.imgur.com/bw2YH.jpg

August 2020 has been quite the year.

The ongoing coronavirus pandemic and civil rights protests continued to the define the summer, inspiring both important conversations and extremely ridiculous social media posts. These serious matters demand well-researched, good-faith discussion, but in the meantime we got these hilarious comebacks that are worthy of a mic drop.

1. It's literally the first word, bro.

2. Trump is tiring.

3. Stellar logic.

4. They're not lion (sorry).

5. The Greatest Generation.

6. On opening schools this fall:

7. Ouch.

8. The best words.

9. "The mass death isn't mass enough."

10. How did this COVIDiot manage to pass first grade?

11. When you don't know what words mean...

12. Shoes are government propaganda.

13. Victory begins at home.

14. Quit clowning around.

Raise your hand if you're sick and tired of being an adult. Growing up is not as fun as I thought it would be. It turns out it's less poppin' bottles and more poppin' Advil. If you miss the good old days when you didn't even know what a credit score was, then you will absolutely relate to these hilarious adulting memes.

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Dogs, take a seat because these memes are for cat lovers' eyes only! Anyone who's lucky enough to have a cat in their life will relate to this hilariously adorable list. It's the purrfect thing to make you laugh today.

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Is it ever okay to feed someone a food they're allegedly allergic to — even if you're almost positive the allergy isn't real?

Most people would say no, because it's not worth the risk. People die from allergies! But one woman decided to roll the dice with her nephew's life because she was so annoyed at her sister.

She posted on Reddit's "Am I the a-hole?" forum, asking for advice about whether what she did was wrong. Here's her story — and the internet's judgment.

She explains that her sister and nephew live with her and her parents:

Everyone is mad at me and I’m going to be honest and say I don’t I don’t understand why. I’m 17F, by older sister is 22. Nephew is 4. Around 2 weeks ago my sister and nephew moved back in with my parents and I because she lost her apartment.

The nephew somehow allegedly developed allergies to food his mom doesn't like:

I have no issue with that, but my sister claims that my nephew has all of these different allergies. She claimed he was allergic to onions, garlic, bell pepper and all spicy peppers, and a lot of other stuff. My sister has always been a notoriously picky eater, and a lot of the things she claimed he was allergic to were things that she didn’t like to eat.

The woman is annoyed, so she concocted a plan:

I didn’t believe he had these allergies, and it pissed me off that my mom started cooking differently and the food hasn’t been as good since she came back home (like no garlic???) I wanted to prove she was lying. She went out Sunday to run some errands and left me with little dude to watch. I thought it would be fun to make little pizzas for lunch.

They added some of his alleged allergens to the pizza:

We made little pizzas with roasted garlic, spinach and bell pepper. Just like I thought, he ate them no problem and loved the food. I took pictures while we made the food.

When all of my family got around for dinner, I showed my mom what my nephew and I did for lunch, and told everyone he enjoyed his garlicy pizza.

Her sister flipped out:

My sister got extremely mad and started yelling and screaming at me at the dinner table, she accused me of trying to poison her child. I told her that I was just proving what a liar she was and told her she was a shitty mom for not feeding her kid food she didn’t like and telling people he’s allergic so he can’t try them.

Now she doesn't understand why everyone's mad:

My mom ended up sending me to my room. I’m being punished because I did something “dangerous”, but in reality I knew my sister was lying. I need to know if I’m an a**hole for exposing her for this and I just can’t see it. AITA?

The people of the internet overwhelmingly agree that it wasn't her place to play with her nephew's life like this.

MarsNirgal pointed out the obvious:

What was your plan if he had a life-threatening reaction?

No, I'm just kidding, [you're the a-hole]. Absolutely. People like you have sent other people to the hospital on your quest to be right.

They add a common sense suggestion:

If you don't like the way your mom is cooking now, you could try cooking your own food, to your own taste. You already proved that you can do it to be petty, now you can just keep doing it.

Cyriaja agrees, pointing out how petty her motivation for doing this was:

Right?! Its like some horrible combo of "I'm pissed mommy doesn't cook my dinner the way I like anymore" and "I can't wait to rub my sister's face in how right I am". Not one single solitary thought given to the child's well-being.

Edengonedark puts it simply:

Never mess with someone's food.

Especially a baby. What if she had been telling the truth!? You could've killed your nephew.

And saycheesepleeese pointed something else out:

Agree with you, but would like to add that just because nothing happened doesn't mean the allergies are made up. He might only feel sick afterwards or get rashes. Not every food allergy kills you immediately. OP hasn't proved anything.

PotentialityKnocks gives a different explanation:

You risked your nephew’s health to prove a point you weren’t even sure of. If your sister actually knew he wasn’t allergic and lied about it, then [everyone sucks here]. It’s possible your nephew was allergic at one point and outgrew it.

Notsadsohappy really lays it out:

You have no idea if your nephew is allergic and you proved nothing by feeding him the food. My daughter is not allergic to peanuts where she can’t breathe, but if she eats them she gets terrible diarrhea for days that literally burns her bottom and her skin peels off. It is terrible. The effect does not happen for 24-48 hours after eating.

They continue:

Onions, peppers, garlic can all cause major gas/bloating. This kind of pain can be terrible for children and then they can’t sleep. How many nights have you not slept because you’ve been up with a sick, crying child? I bet none. I have been sleep deprived for 5 years now as a mom of 2 young children. If your sister has to say it’s an “allergy” to get people to not feed her kid things that cause him pain and causes her a lack of sleep so be it. Cook your own food and grow up. Your selfish and [you're the a-hole].

So there you have it. Don't do this — ever!

Try learning to make your own food instead...?

You know what they say, the early bird gets the memes. You'll be glad you didn't sleep in when you see this funny collection of memes. These laughs are definitely worth waking up for.

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Having people over can be fun but also stressful, especially if your guests are as disrespectful as the ones in the following horror stories.

A recent Reddit thread asked people to name the most disrespectful thing a guest had ever done in their home. The answers might make you think twice about having people over.

1. How could this not backfire?

Swung from my ceiling fan and ripped it out of the ceiling. Like just reached up, grabbed it, hung on for dear life until it crashed to the floor on top of him. I was in college and had friends over to my parents (with whom I lived with then) when they were gone for the weekend.

My parents knew I was having friends over and we would be drinking but obviously no one expected this. The worst part was breaking the news to my parents but they ended up being chill and covered repair costs. - wicked-with69

2. Was he saving the undies for later?!

When I was a teenager my parents had a dinner party. An infamous guest at the table shat his pants, went to bathroom, and left the soiled underwear by the sink. Went back to the table and carried on drinking. - clownforhirepurchase

3. Ewww.

My brother-in-law didn’t feel like watching his sick child during his last stay. Well, just as expected, his kid diarrhea-d all over our wool carpet. He didn’t apologize or offer to get it cleaned. After finding out the cost to clean it would be half the cost of its purchase price, I decided to throw the carpet out. - herdevineMAjority

4. These guests drank their hosts out of house and home.

Over the course of three days they drank 2 1L bottles of regular mead, 2L of the expensive stuff, 4 bottles of wine, a bottle of spiced rum, a flask of vodka, and a bottle of tequila. 3 days. Jfc. I had to check twice. I was angry, but also morbidly fascinated that someone could do this to their body and still appear sober enough to not rouse any suspicions. - shroom2021

5. This is on another level.

They invited another distant family member to our Christmas gift exchange, then didn't plan to show up themselves.

We wouldn't have a gift for the person.

They had been specifically told that the parents in the group didn't want this person near their kids.

The person had pending charges for sexual assault of a minor. - CoasterCOG

6. Whose sock?!

He shat in the toilet when we didn't have any toilet paper in the bathroom, and he flushed a sock after using it. It ended up being like $800 in damage. This is the same f***** that vaped mercury on a dare. - aspartanaccountant

7. Where else are you supposed to keep your PCP?

My brother-in-law left a vial of PCP on the couch where any of my kids could've easily picked it up.

Then he had the audacity to ask my wife if we found it and told her he wanted it back. - GoliathBoneSnake

8. Ewwwwww.

I had a friend living with me for about a week while he was between places. I came home from work one day, went to the bathroom and noticed he had used my razor. No big deal. When I was done in the bathroom I went to the front room and noticed that he had not shaved his face. - Petewolfz

9. What kind of kid ruins a video game console?!

One of my cousins poured a full can of cola over my arcade stick controller for my Genesis back in the day. I’m still salty about that one. Specially cause they made me lie to my parents and say it was an accident when I watched them do it from around the corner. My extended family was not allowed in the house ever again. I guess the adults had a thing too. No idea what, but I can imagine. - Qwinlyn

10. Arrest this person.

Not my house but I had to throw someone out of a friends house for pissing in the kitchen sink on the dirty (now dirtier) dishes - Sy_Fresh

11. Yes, this is so rude.

Not my home, but leaving trash in my car. I f****** HATE it when people do that. - princessblowhole

12. Everyone knows someone who does this...

The worst offenders in my friendship group are two who infamously overstay their welcome. They generally stay over when they come round and if I didn't make an excuse about having to go out they'd probably stay until the next evening - iMac_Hunt

13. Was this person four years old?

Someone who i am no longer friends with came into my house and randomly started going through my stuff just cause they were curious. They then proceeded to grab a snack in my kitchen without asking and just sat down casually eating and proceeded to look through my art with their dirty hands - ray_cosplay

14. That is strange.

I had a friend bring his new gf over (both in their late twenties/early thirties). Within ten minutes of arriving, she got up, stormed out of the house and viciously slammed the door on the way out. Turns out she was upset because we didn’t all individually greet her by name (there was a group of us).

That couple ended up getting married and to this day the rest of us still make jokes about slamming other people’s doors whenever we’re mildly inconvenienced - Storkey01

15. No words.

We were newlyweds and had just bought our first house. Scraped for a downpayment and just squeeked in. My cousin-in-law came over the day of the closing and while looking at the backyard whips his d*** out. "Ah'm gonna chrsten yo fence!" And sure enough starts pissing away. As I look away I lock eyes with my new neighbor who was coming over to say hello. - joejimbobjones

16. He needs help.

A friend was coming over and asked if he could bring a friend, I had never met that guy but said yes because I like to meet new people. Well they came over and we were just chilling, drinking a few beers and we got to playing tekken. I was facing new guy and when I beat his a** he got so mad he threw my Playstation controller on the floor so f****** hard. It didn’t break but I asked him to leave right away, what a nutjob - soapshirt

17. The neighbor from hell.

Once, I had this awful neighbor who would come over and ask all sorts of favors at all hours of the day, like driving him here and there, asking for dog food because he hasn't fed his dog in 3 days (like really?? And NOW you say something?? Yes I did take the dog in.), conveniently disappearing bottles of whiskey off my counter... really cute stuff.

The one that took the cake, though, was when I had a brand new car (like the only time in my entire life I've bought a car new, not just new to me) and he asked me to take him to the grocery store. I was like, "OK sure, I've got a minute. Let's go." So he gets into my brand new car, with my then 2-year-old daughter in the backseat, AND LIGHTS UP A CIGARETTE!!!

Like really?! What kind of animal smokes in a car with a child, and a brand new car that belongs to someone who doesn't smoke?!! I stopped speaking to him after that one. - tacosandrose

18. Honestly, maybe they were just role-playing as pilgrims.

I had Thanksgiving guests show up three hours early once. They complained that there was nothing for them to eat yet. Then when I served dinner they shoveled the food down quickly and left. They didn't even stay for dessert. - baking_the_edge_off

19. This is truly wild.

Literally stole all but one of my bottles of alcohol and left a gigantic s*** in the downstairs guest toilet. Since it was a party and it happened after I had fallen asleep for the night I have no goddamn clue who it was either. I can only assume it was someone who'd been invited by a friend but no one ever fessed up. - amalgamas

Whether we're mentally prepared to handle the passage of time in 2020 or not, summer is over and the "-BER" months have officially begun...

September usually means back-to-school shopping and Autumn-obsessed people decorating their whole lives in pumpkin-spiced bliss. There's about to be a slight chill in the air otherwise known as "sweater weather," people will switch to hot coffee and other beverages, and the days will start seeming unbearably short. This year, however, things might be a little different. Fall is usually the stretch before the holiday season, but will holidays be on Zoom this year? Many students are returning to school for in-person classes, but wearing masks and constantly sanitizing probably wasn't the academic experience they imagined..

Since it simultaneously feels like we've been quarantined for approximately one hundred years but also yesterday was March, if you're having a hard time handling the fact that it's September and there are only four months left of this year--you're definitely not alone.

Here are the funniest tweets we could find from people who struggling to unpack the fact that it's September.

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The freedom to grab your phone and send a text at the whim of a passing thought is beautiful and terrifying. There are so many times when we should just go to bed, drink a glass of water, or do anything besides texting - and instead we proceed to send the dumbest texts imaginable.

If you've ever felt embarrassed by a text you've sent, just know that you're far from alone. The internet is full of countless screenshots of ridiculous text exchanges that beg the question: are humans okay?!

The answer is no, we absolutely aren't, but at least we can get a laugh at ourselves.

1. This completely unhelpful photo.

2. This communication breakdown.

3. TFW someone doesn't know what "wrong number" means.

4. TFW "street name" hits different.

5. TFW you need a good brainologist.

6. TFW you're not sure what animal the Pink Panther is.

7. TFW mom breaks into a classmate's dorm.

8. Jenn is having a time.

9. This person who played themselves.

10. TFW you want to study to be a pedestrian.

11. TFW mom finds the wrong rabbithole.

12. Spelling is hard.

13. The worst spelling for the worst sound.

14. Bone Jaw.

15. Nothing quite like a bowl of fresh Scottish Cheese.

16. This whole communication arc.

17. TFW you drunk text your Uber driver.

18. Deep.

19. True love.

20. Oopsies.

School in in session, and for many, it's online. After life went online last March, you'd think that people and institutions would have been able to adapt to our new virtual reality by now, but online school appears to be as dysfunctional as ever. These tweets from students call out the craziness of the Fall 2020 semester, and also celebrate its perks.

1. Valerie was simply having a balanced breakfast.

2. Stand up for what you believe in.

3. The world's gonna know your name.

4. The bullying makes online school as close to a real school experience as possible.

5. This student who thought they were on mute while they were roasting their teacher....

6. Another mute fail.

7. Not all fonts are created equal.

8. Bon appetit.

9. Live Mas.

10. Hehe, sounds like "pee pee."

11. May we be dismissed?

12. Can't. Sit. Still.

13. You're not alone in being lonely.

14. Paying attention? What is that?

15. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

16. No, we do not need to know your favorite flavor of ice cream.

17. Drain the swamp.

18. Class is a gas.

19. Snooping is part of learning.

20. It's easy to get distracted by Harry Styles.

21. For once, it's good that this lab is virtual.

22. Even STEM professors struggle with technology.

Being a bar or restaurant server is not easy. But it can be very, very entertaining. Because servers get a first row seat at one of humanity's messiest sports: dating. And when things go wrong on a date, things can get very, VERY awkward.

Someone asked servers of Reddit: "what’s the most awkward date you’ve seen unfold?" These 19 restaurant servers spill the dirt on the most awkward and disastrous dates they've ever witnessed:

1.) From TheDoubtfulGuest:

To preface, I work in a restaurant where we make our own ketchup and some people just don't like it. Fine, whatever, if you're nice I'll bring you the secret Heinz ketchup as long as you don't tell anyone. Anyway, a woman is seated at my table looking super excited and tells me she's on a blind date. She orders a glass of wine and waits anxiously, how cute right? So this dude shows up on his phone, ignores my hostess, and eventually finds this beautiful women waiting for him. He continued to talk on his phone for like, 15 minutes, and when he finally hung up I went to the table. He tried to order for her which obviously embarrassed her, and for himself ordered a well done steak and fries. When I brought it to him he asked for A1 and REAL ketchup. When I informed him we had neither he grunted and said he had ketchup packets in his truck. As soon as he walked out the door she asked for her half of the check and her food to go. I helped her leave out the side door before he could even come back. It was awkward serving him after that. He used 7 ketchup packets.

2.) From bitchsaidwhuttt:

My first day at my first job as a server at a sushi restaurant (17 at the time with minimal people skills lol).

I had just checked in an older woman possibly in her early 60’s/late 50’s with a young man who couldn’t have been older than 25. Midway thru their meal I went to check up on them asking, “aw, are you taking Mom out today?”. They both turned with straight faces and the young man answered, “she’s my girl friend.”

I whispered an apology and just peeled myself away

3.) From THATsyracusefan:

Guy pulls out chair for girl, she doesn’t realize what he is doing, awkward pause

Sits down, guy clears throat and starts coughing because he cleared it to hard or something

She doesn’t know what to do, ignores him picks up the menu

Waiter comes she asks her date if he knows what’s good, he says he’ll have what she is having, hands menu to waiter, she orders seafood, awkward pause, he is allergic to seafood takes the menu back and looks for another minute, waiter says he can come back, he says no he’ll have a steak, waiter leaves

They sit staring, not quietly looking around or at their phones, staring at each other in silence until food comes which they eat in silence

4.) From cazzo_di_frigida:

Tinder date. Guy keeps ordering for the girl. (Sh*t like that is weird anyway but when you are legitimately having dinner with a stranger, why the f**k would you think that's ok?)

He ordered her drink (liquor) which she corrected to a glass of wine. Then he ordered her some soup, which she stated she didn't want. Then he ordered her meal (shrimp scampi), which she corrected to chicken marsala because she is allergic to shellfish.

She was very sweet and I'm assuming was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Until something took a turn and she poured her wine on his head and stormed out.

The one good thing about him though... he tipped the hell out of me. like almost 60% tip on an already expensive meal.

I would kill to find out what he said to make this seemingly sweet girl pour cabernet all over him.

5.) From HandsforBricks:

Couple in their 50's came in, husband asked if anyone spoke mandarin, (Chinese restaurant) I brought out the owner. Turns out, they are married, the wife just arrived from China, she doesnt speak any english, the husband didnt speak and mandarin.

The owner ended up sitting with them for a half hour translating...

6.) From themedhippie:

It was clearly a blind date. Neither were comfortable at all. Dropped off drinks, both were polite, dropped off food, asked how everything was, the guy rolled his eyes and said “well the food is great I just wish SHE would TALK more”. Girl’s face went tomato red and I dropped off the check shortly after. Poor girl

7.) From gustydragon:

I once saw a guy shake his dates hand when she reached over to grab some bread.

8.) From josskt:

The couple broke up.
He dumped her toward the beginning. Girl cried while giving her order. They finished their whole meal, dessert and all.

9.) From urboyhillj:

I had a teenage couple come accompanied by a parent.

10.) From MsCardeno:

We had a middle-aged lady come in with a gentleman. They asked for 3 menus. I went over to the table to introduce myself and ask if they were waiting for one more. The woman said no her husband is here and then the two physically at the table ordered drinks and a water.

When I came back to drop off the drinks her "date" was in the bathroom. The lady explained to me that her husband had died a few years ago and this guy (a friend) kept asking to go out. So she said yes but insisted her DEAD HUSBAND come with them. This is why they had 3 menus. She instructed me to bring her husband up as often as possible, pretend that I knew him and make sure I ask if he's having anything for dinner when I took their dinner order. She would refer to him just as if he was sitting right there. I then heard her tell this guy all night that he tries too hard and he's kind of mean.

I do not miss working in the restaurant industry.

11.) From littleredhoodlum:

One evening a guy comes in and sits down at a table for two. I go ask him if he want a drink. He orders a drink and tells me that he is waiting for a girl he's meeting for a date to order food.

He waits for a bit and I served him a couple drinks. An hour passes, He's looking at his phone occasionally and drinking. He finally comes up to the bar after an hour and a half, and tells me he thinks he's been stood up.

That's rough man. He orders a couple drinks neat and pounds them back. He's starting to look and sound considerably worse for wear at this point. He ordered a couple more drinks and I told him to wait a bit. He convinced me to get them for him by telling me he was going to drink them and leave. So he downs the drink and get up to leave.

Who should walk in the door as he's turning to go, his date. She was still wearing scrubs and looked pretty disheveled. She apologized up one side and down the other for being late.

I then got to serve one of the most awkward dates ever. He was drunk, like I probably shouldn't have gave him that last drink drunk. They make some small talk and it's terribly awkward. He gets up and goes to the bathroom.

20 minutes go by and he doesn't come back. Finally one of the male servers walk up and tells her that her date is having some troubles in the bathroom. He was sitting on the toilet bawling.

We asked her to get him out of there. We called him a cab and she pretty much shoved him into it and ran.

12.) From Kether_Nefesh:

The most awkward date I've saw unfold at that time was a lady in her mid-30's who got stood up. Like an hour in, she was still waiting and drinking her 3rd glass of wine. It was really sad to see her come to the realization that her date stood her up. But by that time, she had 3 glasses of wine in her and she ordered food and just talked with random wait staff from time to time and I'm fairly certain ended up convincing one of the waiter who was getting off his shift to go home with her.

13.) From vanessag23:

Probably the one where the guy’s choice of footwear was such a turn off that the woman didn’t even sit down with him. She left before he even saw that she came in.

I was a hostess at the time so I had to go awkwardly explain to the gentleman that his date arrived and left. When he asked if she gave a reason, I had to tell him that she didn’t like his shoes.

His choice of footwear? Those strange running shoes that look like feet. The ones where each individual toe goes into a separate spot like toe socks. Luckily they were black and grey and not any sort of crazy colors. He wore them with a nice grey suit. It was... really bad looking.

Man was devastated.

14.) From Offbeatnic:

I once was a server at a very upscale French restaurant in NYC. One evening a middle-aged man and a young woman are sat in my section, clearly on a date. You could tell this woman was his mistress by the way they interacted with each other. They were high maintenance but pleasant enough. Right after they had received their entrees, the man looks across the way to another table and loses all the color in his face. His date noticed and turned to see what he was looking at. The mans wife was at another table, also on a date with her side piece, on the other side of the restaurant. The wife sees him and has the same expression on her face, which very quickly turns to rage. She briskly walks over to his table and starts whisper-yelling at him, pointing her finger right in his face. He starts to do the same back at her. This isn't a very big restaurant, everyone knows what's going on and the atmosphere gets icy. The mans date is just staring at her plate, absolutely mortified. The wife's date pretends nothing is happening and continues eating. Eventually, the wife storms back over to her table and wolfs down her dinner (no exaggeration, she was like rage eating). He sits down and his mistress won't speak to him for the rest of the meal. This is a fine dining restaurant and they ordered multiple courses. Having to clear, crumb, and reset their table two more times was less than fun. He left a very big tip and apologized on the way out.

15.) From ZamsDodola:

I once had a couple on a date who were regulars. They shared a bottle of wine and were having a great time. About 45mins into their meal, the table across from them was seated with a large party. On my way to check on the couple, one of the people in the large party pulls me aside and asks me what their coworker Paul is doing with that young lady. I told them that he was on a date and that they've been there a few times together. The gentleman looks at me in disbelief and says, "I just had lunch with him and his wife, Carol, earlier this week!" and proceeds to point Paul out to the rest of the group who were all familiar with Paul and Carol.

Paul was not with Carol that night.

16.) From ShpongleHead:

This guy waited for his "fiancee" to show up only to get on his knees and propose pretty much the moment she sat down. I immediately knew from the look on her face that things were going to go down hill real quick. I was working at Olive Garden at the time so they ordered some pasta. Everyone could hear them arguing but mostly you could hear the woman repeatedly say, "YOU KNOW HOW I F**KING FEEL ABOUT HIM!" The fight continued until I heard a loud "OHHHHHH!!!" She threw an entire plate of pasta at his face. She stormed outside, he followed and eventually the cops came and arrested the woman. I assume she was arrested for aggravated assault or something.

17.) From MrMcSwifty:

A pair in their mid-20s on what appeared to be a first date where the girl was clearly way out of the guy's league and he was apparently completely broke. I mean like trying to make it work on literal pocket change broke. Every time she tried to order something he was like, "no no... do you guys have anything cheaper?" At one point he had a pile of change on the table and they were counting it out together, lol. They ended up getting water and an order of french fries that they shared. She looked horrified but to her credit she stuck it out for the duration. Felt bad for the guy but at the same time I just have no idea what he was thinking.

18.) From ChaneI:

I used to work as a bakery clerk (the bakery was attached to a restaurant). I had to go inside the restaurant and pass out samples and I witnessed a table where the guy was on his phone the entire time. It didn’t seem too bad until they came to the bakery afterwards and ordered cake slices. I asked them if they wanted their cake slices in the same box or separate and the woman said same box and her boyfriend interrupted saying “NO. SEPARATE BOXES”. It didn’t seem like a big deal but this woman f**king lost it. She started listing off everything he did wrong and how he’s probably cheating on her with his ex. It was absolutely glorious and I got to stand there for 10 minutes and watch it happen.

19.) From [deleted]:

The date started out kinda okay. Maybe a little awkward as first dates usually are, but they both decided at the end of the date that they weren't a good match. Woman said she would pay for her own meal, man declines and says he had every intention of paying since she humored him and gave him a chance. I'm thinking, "aw that is sweet even if they didn't work out". Woman thanks man and leaves in an uber as I am grabbing the check... man's card declines... man has to call woman to ask her to pay the entire bill because he didn't have money. Woman comes back about 10 minutes later, but man was hiding in the bathroom so he didn't have to look her in the eye. It was sad, because the woman wasnt even mad, but she seemed peeved that he would hide instead of thanking her. It was REALLY awkward.

Speed dating is actually kind of a brilliant concept. Because often 5-10 minute is all the time we need to determine that someone is not the one for us. And most of the time, the reason we lose interest has little to do with them and almost everything to do with us (although sometimes it's 100% on them). We all have deal-breakers—even if we don't realize it until one is sitting right across from us. Sexual attraction is a complex and elusive thing‚ and sometimes the smallest things can be the biggest turn-offs.

Someone asked Reddit: "what's the pettiest reason why you didn't go on a second date?" These 29 people share the seemingly minor behaviors or personality traits they've encountered that guaranteed a first date would also be the last:

1.) From chickentikkasamsara:

She didn't believe me when I explained how centuries are counted.

I told her that the 19th century is the 1800s, and she asked 'How does that work?' So I explained how the years 1-100 are the first century, the years 101-200 are the second century, and so on.

Her response? 'Nah, you're having me on!'

2.) From xxCyberpunk2077xx:

She picked up her phone directly after eating BBQ wings without wiping her hands off.

3.) From AdmiralThunderpants:

I got a chip in my windshield on my way to pick her up. Put me in an off mood and we didn't really connect.

4.) From TexMcBadass:

I ruined any shot I had at a second date because I found out the girl had a fear of spoons and couldn't stop asking questions about it.

5.) From Alldawaytoswiffty:

She enunciated every word ending in ing with a "guh". f*ckinguh makes me so upset.

6.) From picksandchooses:

She tailgated the sh*t out of everyone, always. I had a sore leg from stomping on the imaginary brake.

7.) From [deleted]:

This person was a perfect storm of mispronunciations that drive me to distraction. "Expecially," "Something eltse," "Chipolte," "irregardless," and "pacifically" all in one date. I thought I was being had on, but nope, checked out his FB and he was even worse at words online.

8.) From BottledApple:

He came to pick me up and he was wearing a bowler hat and a tie dye shirt.

9.) From dragonflyer223:

Met online and after chatting back and forth for a while decided to meet irl.

His voice was a way higher pitch than I expected it to be and it completely caught me off guard. I couldn't get over it, second date never happened.

10.) From Creativesumo:

She told me she was an artist. Genuinely interested, I asked if she was a musician, painter, sculptor, actor? She laughed and said, "I'm a sculptor, I always wanted to paint, but I've never been good at dawling." Dawling... I thought it was a mistake, but after hearing her say it a few more times, any interest I had was gone.

11.) From [deleted]:

He asked me if I wanted a soda from a hot dog cart, and I said yes. He asked me to get him one too.

12.) From lolbience:

She asked me to take her to the local amusement park and then let me know she 'didn't do rides' once we got there. I would have loved to take her literally anywhere else, until that date...

13.) From pouchcotato8:

She smelled like cheese. Not like a delicate Muenster, but more like a sharp Cheddar.

14.) From LoonyLove:

He said "giggity" in casual conversation.

15.) From arimill:

This girl was apparently "social media famous." I'm just not about that life.

16.) From [deleted]:

She told me that she randomly dropped "little lies" into most conversations to see whether or not people were paying attention. She did it throughout the entirety of the first date, and at first it was kinda funny, stuff like "Oh yeah I served [celebrity] the other day", but by the end of it it got really tedious. I can only imagine it would also get exhausting in a relationship

17.) From chericher:

Was really excited when this really handsome, very nice, super smart guy asked me out in college. Took me out for a really nice dinner. Totally wanted to make out with him, and had the opportunity on a pleasant walk late that night. Only problem, he smelled like baby powder and chocolate chip cookies. One or the other, maybe, but those aromas together made him smell like a baby and I just couldn't even imagine trying to make out with him again. I felt bad not returning his calls, but I was young and didn't know what to say that wouldn't hurt his feelings.

18.) From SocksForYourCocks:

I went on a date with a guy who constantly mouth breathed louder than the show we watched. He was super nice. I just couldn't do it.

19.) From phinnaeusmaximus:

He was studying to be an orthodontist and would not stop commenting on how great he thought my teeth were. They were nice comments, but come on, dude. It was starting to feel like the creepy beginnings of a movie about a serial killer with a tooth fetish.

He was a nice guy, but I was so turned off by his love for teeth that I couldn't do a second date.

20.) From maybeimjustkidding:

He told me he loved dank memes and then showed me a rage comic. He also used the word doggo unironically. There was clearly no future there. On a different date, a guy rejected my offer to pay for a bagel and then spent the next ten minutes explaining why he didn't mind paying for a $4 bagel due to his meticulous financial planning.

21.) From [deleted]:

She used the same laundry detergent as my grandmother.

22.) From PaddleBoatEnthusiast:

I homebrew. She asked to try one of my beers and I told her that it was a double IPA and she might not like it (she previously told me she hated hoppy beers)

She told me it was delicious but I caught her pouring the beer down the sink. If you don't like it, fine, but tell me so maybe I can drink it and not waste something I put time and effort into!

23.) From [deleted]:

He wore fingerless gloves and had blackheads on his ears

24.) From rob5i:

Decided I really didn't like the drawn on eye brows.

25.) From drock352:

Not sure if petty or not. Went on a blind date. At some point the girl started saying "When we have kids, you have to tell them we met when you saved me from a burning house." I was a firefighter at the time. That line was just to much for me so I bailed on her... She kept trying to call and text me, but thankfully about a week later my phone was destroyed on a fire call.

26.) From [deleted]:

She raved about a particular curry restaurant from one of the first conversations we had. I'd never heard of it, but she talked about it as though it was the best restaurant in the city. Naturally, I took her there on our first date. She was noticeably shy and quiet when we got there (I picked her up). I knew her fairly well before our date, so I knew it was very unlike her to be nervous and extremely unlike her to be quiet/shy.

She let me do all the ordering (again, very unusual). Once the food got there, she took a few bites VERY reluctantly, then excused herself to use the restroom. She was in there for a while, and when she came back she only played with the food on her plate and didn't eat another bite.

She admitted later that she only said she liked the place because a friend at work said it was good. She hates curry. When I told her how much I liked it when we first started talking about it, she was too polite to say anything and just hoped it would go away. That night at the restaurant when she was in the bathroom, she was trying not to throw up.

Maybe this doesn't count as petty, but I don't want to date someone who can't or won't say that they hate the type of food that gets picked for a restaurant. I'm a go with the flow kind of guy. If she didn't like that place, I would have happily taken her somewhere else.

27.) From Pharos_FireBreather:

He said "Okie Dokie" multiple times...multiple times!

28.) From Dante640XX:

Weird gum : tooth ratio.

Creeps me the f**k out.

29.) From [deleted]:

She called me the coca cola kid, because I got water instead of pepsi. She only said it once but it annoyed me so I never called her back.

Hell is other people, and there are few times that is more apparent than when you're trying to watch a movie in peace.

The experience of watching a new movie on a big screen with surround sound and the smell of popcorn wafting is simply marvelous, but the experience of trying to enjoy a new movie while the people in the next row loudly fight each other is none so pleasant.

In a popular Reddit thread, people unloaded the most annoying thing someone has done while they were watching a movie in the theater, and it's another reminder of why we can't have nice things.

1. From klaafas:

One guy sitting behind me spilled soda all over me, and when I started to complain he told me I had to watch where I sit.

2. From laterdude:

Recorded Kill Bill on their smart phone at the Seattle Cinerama. Keep in mind, this was a special, one-time only showing in 2015 and the movie had been out on DVD & Blu-ray for at least a decade. WTF are you filming it for?!?

3. From imgonnabutteryobread:

Some tone-deaf woman behind me decided we all paid tickets to hear her sing during Jersey Boys.

4. From mulaanbaatar:

Someone opened the doors and shouted 'N***ERS!' during Avengers.

5. From Tinyclayforest:

Sitting right beside me in a half empty theater.

6. From Brostradamus_:

$5 Tuesdays are the bane of my movie-going experiences. I've stopped going to the Mall Theater entirely because of a handful of encounters with the dregs of humanity.

I saw a movie where two moms brought their (combined) 4 kids to see a movie--I believe it was Pacific Rim. The 4 kids were all in the 6-10 age range. The moms sat in the very back row, the kids, a few rows in front on the edge of the isle. About 30 minutes into the movie, the kids got bored of watching, and started talking, play-fighting, and running up and down the stairway/talking to their moms. The moms started yelling at the kids, then gave them tablets to play with to keep them "quiet."

So, now there's 4 kids fighting over 2 tablets while loudly playing angry birds/some stupid cat thing with the volume turned up quite loud. I ended up moving to the other side of the theater and alerting the ushers (who did nothing).

The other time (and last time) I went to that particular theater on $5 Tuesdays was to see new Hunger Games movie. There was a large--probably 300-400 pound guy in the row directly in front of us. He had one of those giant-ass Galaxy Note phones and was browsing Facebook/Instagram the entire movie. He pulled out a subway sandwich from some pocket/storage space that I swear couldn't have logically existed and loudly ate it, crinkling paper and all. The kicker, though.... about 3/4ths of the way through the movie his phone rings. He f*cking answers it. His side of the conversation, and my descent into madness, starts off like this:

"Hey, whats up"

"I'm in a movie"

"no, I can talk, whats up"

The complete audacity made my head spin. Was this real life? Was I being Punk'd? How could anyone go through those 3 statements and not consider that there are other people around them trying to watch a movie in peace, and possibly, just maybe, they're being a huge douchebag?

I don't remember the last 20 minutes of the movie because my mind was so busy trying to wrap around this man, and how he chose to live his life, in total disregard of the world around him. I didn't have the ability to ask him if he was being serious, I was in pure awe.

F*ck that theater. Now I go to Sunday morning matinees at the other big theater in town, which are still $5, and nearly always empty.

7. From Magpie32:

I used to have hair so long I could sit on it. In the middle of The Hunger Games, the lady behind me yanked on my braid to get my attention so she could ask if my teenager babysits. Ummm...not for strangers, and, even if circumstances forced our acquaintance, NEVER for you.

8. From 0210eddie1992:

This was during my second viewing of the Dark Knight but my three friends were watching it for the first time.

This jerk decided to blurt out loud sh*t in the film before things happened. Example: When the "magic trick" scene came on, I knew what was coming and I'm pretty sure he did too because OUT LOUD he said, "who wants to see a magic trick?" And it wasn't like to the entire crowd, it was for his friends sitting next to him who I believe had all scene the movie once before but it was loud enough for a good chunk of us to be annoyed by it.

Example #2: When Batman says "Let her go" he said out loud, "oh, oh... poor choice of words." THIS one was loud enough for the whole theater because he said with the joker (minus the oh oh) and everyone shushed for like 10 seconds.

Example #3: THIS is where I walked out with my friends. Keep in mind there were whispers throughout the entire film and I already had enough but my friends wanting to tough it out. So the scene where the joker says "Hit me"... he said the hit me and added the "he aint gonna do it" like he did for the first example. The row in front of him told him to shut the f*ck up and my group, the row behind him, just got up and left.

We talked to the good people at AMC and they escorted him out immediately and they gave us a free popcorn voucher on our next visit with a large drink...I seriously had never been more pissed off in my life while watching a film.

9. From AFDStudios:

A woman changed her baby's diaper. Her baby's poopy diaper. In the theater while the movie was playing. I couldn't believe the gall OR the stench.

10. From Aspeks:

Went to see Avengers 2 and the lovely lady next to me played some Farmville equivalent on her phone and constantly asked her boyfriend stupid questions like "who is Tony Stark?" "Why can't anybody lift Thors' hammer etc. Went to see it again with my girl 2 days later and without 3D, much better experience.

Oh and she spilled her entire huge container of popcorn on the floor and just bursted out laughing.

11. From MrSuperSaiyan:

Someone thought it would be funny if they bought in one of those lasers with the red dot. The whole f*cking movie they kept shining that thing on the screen.

12. From pellegram:

Rested their bare feet on my armrest. I was too young to protest.

13. From Dzhocef:

There were a bunch of teenagers once and they just could not stop yelling and talking about their genitals.

14. From Naweezy:

The guy in front of me was whacking off the entire time during the opening night of Toy Story 3. F*cking Toy Story 3! How do you get off to that?

15. From OhSchistGneiss:

I once went to the movies with my grandparents, and when we got there, the theater was completely empty besides one lady in the front row sitting all by herself and saving a couple of seats to her left. Well, my grandpa ( who was about 6'2" and pushing 400 pounds ) decides to plop down next to this poor woman. Keep in mind I didn't even like sitting next to him in the theater, due to the lack of room on the armrest that was taken up. This lady just takes it, and doesn't bother moving seats. The theater ended up filling up but the patience of this lady was remarkable.

16. From mdset:

When I went to see the last Harry Potter film, the guy sitting next to me spent the entire film on his phone, and I don't mean just texting. He was actually on a phone call with someone the entire way through the movie, which ruined it all for me. If the call is that important just go take it outside!

17. From Crypto7899:

Play with their phone. Bring in packets of individually wrapped candies. Ask questions about what's happening in the film throughout.

"Who's that? What's going on?"

B*tch I don't know, I've been watching no more than you have. Shut your mouth.

Also, if you're one of those people who just throw sh*t all over the floor and leave it there. F*ck you. That takes time to clean you f*ckers.

18. From tsim12345:

Worse than individually wrapped candies; food NOT meant to eaten in a theater. Like oranges and spaghetti. WHY would anyone start peeling oranges and throwing the peels on the ground or take out a Tupperware container and just slurp spaghetti like a cocker spaniel on a date with a tramp in an alley.

It's distracting not just because of the sounds but because I'm annoyed with the nerve of some people.

19. From bergerfred:

I went to see the Matrix in the theater on opening week, the person sitting right in front of me, kept quoting the movie, and repeating lines, A HALF A SECOND BEFORE THE ACTOR SAID THEM. I dunno how many times this guy saw the movie already, but it had only been out a week, and it was incredibly annoying.

Another time, I went to see the passion of the Christ, on opening day. I ended up being stuck in the front row sitting next to a couple of Mexican guys, none of which spoke or read English except for one. The movie is entirely subtitled, so I'm sitting here trying to watch the movie and read the subtitles, while also hearing this guy translate the whole movie for his buddies into Spanish right next to me.

20. From xenongamer4351:

So I was about 12/13 when The Dark Knight came out, meaning I didn't get scared like a kid anymore when something in a movie surprises me but I would jump or flinch like, you know, a normal human being. I also have ADD, meaning when the movie gets a little "talky" I have to REALLY focus in to make sure I get it.

The scene when the mayor and someone I can't remember are talking, and the Batman imposer gets dropped into the window that the mayor is looking at. I was trying so hard to focus in on the conversation, that this made me jump a foot out of my seat. Now I'm at this movie with some of my best friends. They are my age, and kind of chuckle at my expense, but they let it go fairly quickly. Then there was this jerk off behind me, at least 35 years old, and at least 35x my weight.

He WOULD NOT stop making fun of me for the rest of the movie. He must have already seen it, because every couple of scenes he'd say something corny like "you may need your blanket for this scene kid." F*cking jerk off pretty much ruined my first time seeing TDK, although he didn't ruin it too bad because it's still one of my favorite movies.

Believe it or not, September 2020 has arrived...

It's hard to believe that a whole six months ago, we were in the "Tiger King" and "Sourdough Starter" era of bread-baking quarantine chaos. Summer 2020 definitely wasn't the "Hot Girl Summer" of 2019, and we all had to adjust to sweating profusely while wearing one of the six cloth masks we purchased back in May. Restaurants and bars took over city streets, anti-maskers took over local businesses, and Taylor Swift brought us her saddest album yet.

September is usually a time for back-to-school shopping and pumpkin-spiced preparation for "spooky season," and while a lot of people are ready for fall, Autumn 2020 will likely also bring us some unexpected news. What's next, an alien invasion? Unicorns are real? A mermaid uprising? Nothing can shock us anymore.

If you're still mentally in March, here are the funniest tweets from the last week of August to get you into the fall mindset. Enjoy!

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